Anyone not send their 3 yr old to preschool? Regrets?

[KrisM]

DS will be 3 in April and we are not planning on preschool this fall. We'll send him when he's 4. Most of my friends are sending their 3 yr olds though.

Our reasoning is that we do a lot of things already with our MOMS Club and he is pretty social, etc. Most of the programs are 2 days a week for 2.5 hours. It just doesn't seem necessary to me.

Kindergarten just changed to full days 2 days a week and a half day on Friday, if that matters in this decision. When he's 4, he'll do preschool for 3 half days/week.

Am I making a mistake by not sending him? Will any of regret it?

[schums]

We aren't sending either of our DC, and I don't regret it for a minute. DS had no problems fitting in with preschool, even though most of his class went to a 3 year old program. DD is LOVING the time alone with me, and I think she'll do fine next year as well. Here, the 3 yo programs are mostly socialization, and we do TONS of things -- library time, playgroup, mom and me classes, etc. Both DC are very social as well.

HTH,
Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[egoldber]

I don't think they need preschool per se. Honestly, I sent her to preschool for *me*. It gave me a break that I could count on. And I knew she was in a nurturing, developmentally appropriate environment and I didn't have to deal with finding a sitter.

[SnuggleBuggles]

If you are ok going another year without "me" time then it's all good. The research does show that kids that attended preschool do do better in school (hence the reason behind Head Start programs). But, I think that if you are doing other supplimental things than the lack of preschool isn't a big deal.

Call me a bad mom if you will but I loved being able to hit the gym and run errands without ds. There came a point shortly after he turned 3 (maybe 3.5) that my wonderful shopping buddy disappeared and was replaced by someone that I really didn't want to shop with (took 3Xs as long and $20 extra :)). It was nice to have a real schedule too. Me time made me a more refreshed mom. :) I applaud moms that can handle it without that break- maybe their kids still nap? ;)

Final thought- who in his age range will be at your MOMS thing the days you will be going? Will the 3-4 year olds (his main play mates) be there or will they all be at school?

Most of the 3yo programs here are 3Xs a week for 3.5 hours so it is different than what you were looking out.

Beth

[AngelaS]

I haven't sent any of my kids to preschool and have no plans to. My kids get plenty of socialization without it and anything they learn there I can easily teach at home.

[niccig]

We recently had this discussion in a parent ed. class I attend for 2-3 yr olds. I've also spoken with other parents and even mentioned it to our ped this morning. Everyone had a differing position. I've concluded that it's one of those parenting decisions that is entirely your own to make and the answer depends on you and your child, there is no right or wrong answer. Our Dr's answer today was that if DS goes he'll have fun and learn a lot, if he doesn't go he'll have fun and learn a lot.

I don't know if this helps or not.

[alkagift]

This is in part why I did as well, although I do not think it was necessary academically. Our school system sounds different, though, in that Kindergarten is 5 days a week until 2:30. DS is three half days a week at age three, four days next year. MANY of my friends' programs are two days a week, though.

I will say that I'm glad I did if only because at age three and a half he has become a lot more defiant, curious, rambunctious and slightly antagonistic...just asserting his independence more. I am glad he has a structured, happy environment where he loves to be for three mornings a week!

Allison
Mommy to Matthew Clayton, 5/03

[kochh2]

no regrets here!! our DS will be 3 in August, so slightly younger than yours, but we have a very close friend who is sending her DD (also turns 3 in april) to preschool, which means significant changes to our DS's daycare situation, as we share a nanny together, but anyway, we feel pretty strongly that DS gets plenty of socialization time, and even attends a 2's class at church once a week,w here he does very well, plus, we basically do a homeschool type of thing, where we teach to his interests, and as he shows interest in numbers, lets say, while he's eating cheese, he asks for 4 pieces, so we work on counting, etc... then as he eats, it's natural way to teach him about higher up concepts.... he enjoys the whole "if you eat one, then you have 4 pieces left..." type of game right now, and with little pressure, and making it fun and functional, we get to enjoy our time with him before his baby sister arrives, and we get to tailor teaching opportunities to his interests :) anyway, I do understand the need/want for ME time, but realistically, our lifestyle is not supportive of that "luxury" right now!!!

[kochh2]

no regrets here!! our DS will be 3 in August, so slightly younger than yours, but we have a very close friend who is sending her DD (also turns 3 in april) to preschool, which means significant changes to our DS's daycare situation, as we share a nanny together, but anyway, we feel pretty strongly that DS gets plenty of socialization time, and even attends a 2's class at church once a week,w here he does very well, plus, we basically do a homeschool type of thing, where we teach to his interests, and as he shows interest in numbers, lets say, while he's eating cheese, he asks for 4 pieces, so we work on counting, etc... then as he eats, it's natural way to teach him about higher up concepts.... he enjoys the whole "if you eat one, then you have 4 pieces left..." type of game right now, and with little pressure, and making it fun and functional, we get to enjoy our time with him before his baby sister arrives, and we get to tailor teaching opportunities to his interests :) anyway, I do understand the need/want for ME time, but realistically, our lifestyle is not supportive of that "luxury" right now!!!

[C99]

DS goes to MDO this year; it's not preschool - although he calls it school because it's an easier term for a 3-4-y/o to understand/use than MDO. He goes 2 days/week for a total of 8 hours. He went last year, too. I did it more for me initially, but he really enjoys having a social outlet and "friends from school" etc. With a second child at home and a third on the way, I just don't have the energy to do an outing everyday or make things as interesting for him as I did when it was just the 2 of us.

Preschool is not necessary at all, but I am glad that I sent him to MDO this year. He'll go to preschool 5 days/week for 3.5-hours/day next year.

[KrisM]

Yeah, we do a lot of things together. The other kids will still be around next year, but will be different kids on different days. Three year olds will be there MWF and 4 year olds on TTh. I don't know that he'd notice the missing ones, really.

Me time wouldn't be much, since DD will be 15 months then. It would be nice for her to have some time with just me. But, with pick up and drop off, I think she wouldn't get to do stuff with the MOMS Club, like apple picking, pumpkin patch, etc. because we wouldn't be able to get there and back in the right amount of time.

And no, he doesn't nap. We stopped naps at Christmas time because he wouldn't sleep at night until 10pm. Ugh. I do miss the nap.

Maybe I'll try to find a preschool book for things they should be learning/knowing that year.

thanks.

[KrisM]

We do the same things here. He recognizes all of the letters, a handful of numbers, his name. He understands 1 and 2, but not much more than that.

[KrisM]

Thanks everyone for the replies. It worries me that so many have problems when their kids hit 3.5! We can always re-evaluate at that point.

[C99]

DS goes to MDO this year; it's not preschool - although he calls it school because it's an easier term for a 3-4-y/o to understand/use than MDO. He goes 2 days/week for a total of 8 hours. He went last year, too. I did it more for me initially, but he really enjoys having a social outlet and "friends from school" etc. With a second child at home and a third on the way, I just don't have the energy to do an outing everyday or make things as interesting for him as I did when it was just the 2 of us.

Preschool is not necessary at all, but I am glad that I sent him to MDO this year. He'll go to preschool 5 days/week for 3.5-hours/day next year.

[daisymommy]

Joshua just started preschool this year at age 4. My reasons for not sending him sooner were:

I felt he wasn't ready to be in a group program several days a week.

I felt he wasn't ready to have to get dressed and ready and out of the house by a certain time several days a week...and I myself wasn't ready to have to go thru that drama 3 days a week either. It was enough hassel getting out to do grocery shopping, go to our church moms meeting, etc. I didn't want to add to that.

I wanted to have him at home with me for as long as possible to pour my own input into him before he was "out there" with other kids. Okay, myabe I was being a bit protective, I don't know.


Now, here are my regrets. I look back and realize that Josh was pretty bored and needed more social interaction, projects, play, structure, education etc. than I could provide for him (or maybe more than I had the energy and time for). I think he would have really loved it.

Also, I realize that I was soooo burnt out and how wonderful it would have been to have a few hours to myself during the week to recharge, away from him. Now that he's in preschool, gosh, after 3 hours alone (well--Hannah is with me, but she sleeps during this tiem so it doesn't count) I feel like a new mommy, ready to give my best.

So, in retrospect, in some ways I wish I had done it sooner. But I'm also not really sure if he was ready for it emotionally/socially then either.

[loewymartin]

No regrest here either. Alia just started preschool last fall (so she was 4) and loves it. She is going 3 days/week for 2.5 hours. Our kindergarten is 5 days/week for 2.5 hours so we figured it was a nice transition for her.

I really think this is a personal decision based on you, your child and your circumstances. I don't think you are making a mistake nor do I think you will regret it but that is because it has worked for us!

Michelle
Mom to Alia born 5/16/02 and Kira born 7/30/05