At what age do/does/did your DH stop bathing with DD?

[surpriseimamom]

We are both 39, our DD is nearly 4.

We are not in anyway naturalists, but we are comfortable with our bodies. From a little girl, DD has been showering or bathing with either myself or DH. We still bathe her in our bath because it is so much easier on the knees. Plus she likes the "girly bath" the Jacuzzi provides.

A couple of times last week, DH was bathing (a nightly ritual) and DD asked him if she could come in. He didn't think anything of it though the water had to get much cooler than he prefers. He figured he was killing two birds with one stone.

I just wonder what her school or gymnastics class would think if she repeats that she at nearly 4 still bathes with daddy. I don't think there would be a problem of us bathing or showering together and trust me them bathing together is just as innocent.

Any thoughts?

[sdbc]

Our DD will be 3 in May. We both still bathe with her, but we wear swimsuits. I started because she got curious about my hair early on, and pulled it one too many times! DH is just more comfortable with his swimsuit, although, if she walks in on him in the shower or changing, or whatever, it's not a big deal.

I think it's innocent enough naked, but the swimsuit just cuts out an awkward period later on...

[surpriseimamom]

Thanks for your input. Neither one of us are comfortable in swimsuits while bathing or showering, but DH does wear tighty whities when he sleeps. I guess I am just more concerned with her saying something when we are not around and someone else taking it totally the wrong way.

[TraciG]

I shower with Sydney, she's almost 3 1/2 but as of a couple of weeks ago she wont be seeing my DH naked anymore ! We are weird but we keep the bathroom door open most of the time, anyway my DH was peeing & Sydney was standing outside the bathroom & when he was done she said " Hay I wanted to see your penis " SO FUNNY !! The other day DH was sitting in boxers in her room & guess what was hanging out !!!!!!!!! Sydney said " daddy your penis is showing " , obviously this little girl is VERY aware & CURIOUS right now !

Your DD is fine so I don't see a problem with it but at 5 that's a little old I think .

[maddyzmommy]

Well, apparently I'm in the minority but I vote you stop that and let her experience the fun of pretending to be a mermaid or fish in a bathtub all her own. She's a big enough girl to have her own bathtime and you can sit on the side of the tub like the rest of the free world and read a couple pages of Parents magazine while she plays. Get her some little toys - my girls like the foam people who stick to the tiles - and make it a joyful thing. "You're such a big girl now you get to take baths like a big kid! Here's your new bath dolly and your special girl shampoo!" You get the idea. I find that when I don't want other people to know about it, it's a sign I should nix whatever it is, innocent though it may be. Just like my daughter repeatedly told a neighbor this afternoon that a RAT is in our composter. Hello, it's a mouse but I was mortified and should have forced my husband to haul the composter to the dump this weekend. Every time I look at that dang thing I see it not as a composter but as a mouse house. Nice. I was just putting off something unpleasant and so are, you. You maybe don't want to feel like she's growing up. The bathing ritual is part of her baby world and it hurts when you suddenly notice your precious baby is now your precious daughter. But you've noticed and so it's time to let her graduate to solo tub time!

Andi

[surpriseimamom]

For the most part, a girly bath where she plays is what she does. The Bubble bath became a reward for pooping on the potty. We take turns making sure the hair is clean as well as the various nooks and crannies before or AFTER playtime.

She is at an age where she can swim and get up so we are not always in the bathroom with her.

I was just talking lately about hubby taking a hot bath and DD wanting to come get a bath too.

[lizajane]

i guess i am a little torn on this issue. schuyler will be 4 march 23. he still showers with us/sees us dressing. there was a period of time where he kinda stared. but it really wasn't creepy. he was just trying to understand. as far as the family goes, i think it has worked out really well for us to be totally open. he doesn't think anything of it and he is proud of his body. there is no shame here.

on the other hand, (as per my recent post) he doesn't get it yet that he can't be naked around other folks. i don't mean my parents or his best guy pal. i mean 4 year old girls, the 7 year old neighbor girl... we are working on the good manners aspect of keeping your clothes on. i just don't want to instill a sense of secrecy about his body. just privacy.

so i really think the nudity with family issue is just one of comfort for everyone- as soon as anyone is uncomfortable or feels funny about it, then you stop. so far in our house, there are no weird feelings and no more than simple questions.

[Wife_and_mommy]

I think it's a personal judgement call on your part. If she's still comfortable asking to bathe with dh then she might not feel a need for modesty yet.

In our house, the dc's bathe together and I bathed with dd a couple of times before DS was here. As a matter of fact, now with two it'll probably never happen again. I don't think dh would feel comfortable showering with dd at her age but we're both pretty modest so there you have it.



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[Emmas Mom]

Nudity is something we've been dealing with for some time also. Our older DD (3 1/2) still showers with me occasionally (most time she bathes with little DD) & I have no issues whatsoever with that. She's never showered with DH though but has been in the master bedroom/bathroom (no door between them) many, many times while he's showering/shaving, so she sees him in the nude frequently. There was a time when she was very curious about girls vs. boys & would constantly stare at both of us, ask to touch, etc. At first my DH freaked out but at my insistence we just started talking to her about boys vs. girls & private parts & how we don't touch other peoples....trying to keep it pretty basic for her age but still not make her "afraid" or "embarrased" to be nude but at the same time teach her no one should touch her, except Mommy when she has an ouchy or a doctor if Mommy or Daddy is there...etc. She seems to have gotten past the initial curiosity. Once in awhile now she'll tell my DH she sees his penis & we'll say "yes, boys have penises"....then she usually starts listing who in our extended family is a boy. We're still not sure at what point we'll not let her see DH nude anymore....I'm sure it'll be much sooner than me. We'll just have to play it by ear I suppose.