How is life in NYC with two babies (2 yrs and 6 months old)?

[kusumat]

My DH and I may move to NYC for his job training in Manhattan area(2.5 yrs). The employer will subsidize portion of the rent (apt is in Manhattan area).

We still have not made decision yet.I heard living in NYC was not easy. We will not have a car because parking is very expensive. My husband will be very busy(14-16 hrs working hrs). I will be pretty much by my own with the babies(no family or help). Anyone with babies lives in NYC? How do you manage your life? Grocery? Trip to Ped? Going out with babies by your own? My DH will not get paid that much during the training. So, I will not be able to take taxi often. My parents used to live there and they hate the city. Well, that was more than 30 yrs ago. Thank you so much for your input.

[shishamo]

I lived in a city for 6 years and had two kids there. My DH was doing his residency, working crazy hours. We basicly lived in red the entire 6 years. It's not easy, but it's doable. Grocery: I shopped and had them delivered (all the supermarkets in the city do that). I took subway to the pedatrician, yes, it's not easy but doable. Get a lightweight stroller (like volo) and a good carrier.

But really, the stroller is really the key to your survival! I would try to post in the stroller forum. It's really important since you walk everywhere!

Good luck! City has a lot to offer as well. Wonderful museums, etc. Although i'm glad we moved out, I do miss it sometimes.

[betsydenny]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE NYC!!!
It is the GREATEST place to have small children! Really!!
I have a 4 yr old and 2.5 yr old and am barely preggo with #3 and I am not moving to the burbs anytime soon!

You wouldn't believe it till you get here but NYC is EASY! with little kids!

Grocery- Fresh Direct has better prices than any grocery store other than Fairway and delivers everything to your door (even in our 4th floor walk up)

Pediatrician- they are everywhere so just find one near your apt. Ours is 10 blocks away and of all my friends we have by far the longest commute to our ped of anyone- the rest have about a 3 block walk.

You don't need a car here. We walk everywhere or take the subway or bus. It is all easy and safe.

It of course depends on where you live, but there are playgrounds everywhere and it is so easy to meet other moms there. Yes, there are plenty of nannys but there are plenty of moms who stay at home as well. The museums are awesome esp the Natural History Museum- it is our winter playground!

My DH is gong 12 hours a day and it is fairly normal if not better than some of my friends.

Please feel free to PM me or respond to this post. NYC is a fabulous town to have small kids in.
And yes, stroller is very important. We live in our Mac Volo, tho when the kids were younger the Phil and Teds e3 was the best!

I will happily give you as much advice as you want if you decide to move here. (I never ever wanted to live in NYC and told my DH that on our first date- now 7+ years later he can't get me to leave!)

HTH!!!
Betsy

[miki]

Beyond the rent subsidy, do look into what the costs of the other parts of your life will be: activities/classes with you kids, groceries, sitter/mother's helper, preschool (if your older one will go while you are there), etc. I know that all the activities that we do are far more expensive in NY than where I live in NC. Even though I used to live there, it's always a shocker when we go visit family.

[jayali]

While I LOVE NYC (was born and raised in one of the outer boroughs) I just wanted to throw out an alternative to you. Hoboken is just over the river from NYC and the rents can be less expensive, yet you still have pretty easy access to midtown and downtown Manhattan. We are moving to Hoboken (have lived there before) because I am going back to work. DH is staying home with DS and he has so much planned out both in Hoboken and NYC. Another great thing is that Hoboken has lots of activities (music, art, gym) that the city has, but with more realistic prices.

If Hoboken is not a possibility then I say go for Manhattan. While we have never lived there I have tons of friends that do, some with multiple kids, who would NEVER leave. Some are in cramped quarters - 3 kids in a two bedroom, but say it is well worth it to take advantage of all that NYC has to offer.

Good luck.

[hudsonam]

LOVE Hoboken AND NYC. I've never lived in either one with kids, but there is so much to do, and like the other poster said, it's actually easier then you might think. Expense is the only thing. Good luck! :)

[snowflake20]

I LOVED living in NYC but I wouldn't do it with a child, unless I had tons of money. The space, the expense, and the fact that there isn't a Target would drive me insane.

I lived in Hoboken and love it there too. We moved to Jersey City when I was pregnant. We are in the Paulus Hook section, which is very close to the city, and very family friendly. There are several apartments buildings here that are spacious compared to Hoboken, with garage parking. Hudson Point, Portside, Liberty Towers, Windsor Terrace are all great buildings with amenities like a gym, play room etc. You can send me a note and I'd be happy to fill you in if you are interested.

[Queensgirl]

Are you set on living in Manhattan? Although the city offers a great deal, living in Manhattan is overrated IMHO. I live literally 10 min. from midtown in Queens (Astoria/Long Island City).
The neighborhood is way cheaper in terms of rent (larger apartments too) and very family oriented. There are tons of cafes, restaurants, laundromats, mom and pop stores and parks. I'm also close to a mall and a Target(!). It's also very diverse (racially and culturally so it allows for a nice "balance"). We also own a car (very doable in Queens) and it does afford us a great deal of freedom (would not own one if I lived in Manhattan, though).
My commute to Manhattan is so incredibly short and safe, it's better that if I lived there. I'm closer to midtown than someone who may live in upper Manhattan or Brooklyn (does that make sense?).

To be honest, my DH and I wouldn't consider living in Manhattan (and I know many who have and moved to another borough). You could live in a more residential area and be very close to all the amenities. Also, the crime in my neck of the woods is very low. I've lived here for 4 years without incident (not so with Brooklyn).

There are tons of things to do with kids (and many are free or low cost- you just need to research a bit). Even though the city is "on" all the the time and it can get tiring and overwhelming, I think you'll find it an enjoyable experience overall. Remember, there's more to NYC than Manhattan, so slowly try to take advantage of that.

As life-long New Yorkers, my DH and I are a little "burnt" and ready for a change. But we don't regret our urban lifestyle and are grateful for the experience. Once you live here, every other place is a walk in the park. Good luck and I hope you and your family have a smooth transition.

[buddyleebaby]

I was born and raised here, I love the city itself, but it's just become soooo expensive. We work so hard to be able to live here that we have no money left over to actually enjoy the city.

[kusumat]

If my DH picks the NYC training, we will be living in Upper East Manhattan next to the Memorial Hospital. Thanks for sharing info on the apt location; however, we will not be able to live anywhere else. He need to live near his job.

BTW, when do you send you DC to preschool? How much does it cost here? Is the advance sign-up required?

[kusumat]

Thanks so much, Betsy, for the wonderful info. Fresh Direct looks great. YOu really give me positive feedback on living in NYC. How do you deal with the winter? Any tips? I live in California and never deal with any snow. BTW, when do you send your DC to preschool? Any good ones would you recommend?

[miki]

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/03/education/03preschool.html?ei=5090&en=6828f7391680a2de&ex=1299042000&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=all

ETA You have to be registered for the NY Times website to read the article but the registration is free.

[betsydenny]

You apply for preschool the fall before you want them to attend. Most of the schools on the east side dont take kids till they are at least 3.

As for cost they all vary. None are cheap. There is actually a book you can get about preschools in Manhattan. It is useful but by no means comprehensive. My DC's are attending a wonderful low-key progressive school that wasn't in there or got a very small write up. So it is useful but not everything.
http://www.amazon.com/Manhattan-Directory-Private-Nursery-Schools/dp/1569474494/ref=sr_1_1/102-6833837-0592101?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1172839248&sr=8-1
that is the link. Looks like a new edition is due out in April.

The Parent's League of NYC is also useful in that dept, tho I think you have to pay to join.

Can you talk to anyone who has had your DH's position previously to see how their experience was? That might give you some insight.

Am I right in thinking Memorial is on the far East Side in the 70's-ish? There are tons of families over there. But as everyone points out, Manhattan isnt cheap.

HTH!
Betsy

[kekane]

What's the alternative to NYC?

I love the city, lived there 13 years, but felt I needed to move before having children -- it just wasn't economically viable for me and my husband if we wanted to stay sane.

He grew up there, and it is definately more livable than it was 30 years ago. The upper east side is probably a reasonable place to be -- most things you need will be in walking distance.

Will you have an elevator building or a walk-up? With two kids, you really want an elevator.

Basically there's a lot to love and a lot to hate. Most things are more difficult, but some things are more convenient [there was an interesting trend a few years back of old people choosing to retire there - made sense to me]. And there are wonderful things to take advantage of -- if you have to live one place where you don't know anyone, it's not a bad choice. But it's not a gentle place, in general you have to be willing to be aggressive to get what you want.

I was somewhat intimidated by the whole pre-school prospect. I've heard the highly desireable ones are crazy-competive. There may be a more reasonable middle ground, I don't know.

In sum: it is probably not the optimal choice for child-rearing, but given other factors -- like good long-term career growth for your husband -- it might be a reasonable decision, especially depending on just how much your rent subsidy is. And certainly millions of people manage to do it!

For snow: in some ways NYC is easier than other snowy cities -- you don't need to shovel out, and the city doesn't grind to a halt. Get some good boots (more water-resistant and sure-footed, than stylish) -- there are sometimes big slushy pools at intersections.

If I still lived there I'd get a Maclaren too.

[mommy111]

The negative aspect: cost cost cost
The positives: very stroller-friendly, great public transportation, WONDERFUL places to visit, voted politest city in the world (yes, I kid you not!!!), such a wonderful, culturally diverse environment to bring children up in, liberal :P, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE NYC and Boston and more so after I had DD and saw all that was available for kids there, and would live in either of those cities again in a heartbeat!

[kusumat]

We will be in NYC only for DH's training (2.5 yrs) and will be move out soon after he finishes. We do not plan to stay in NYC after.

I am thinking not sending the kids to preschool when we are there. My eldest one will be 4.5 yrs by the time we leave the NYC. I am SAHM.

[ctc221]

Is your DH going to be working for Memorial Sloan Kettering hospital? If so, their housing is very nice. We have good friends that live in one of their buildings in the 60s, and they park their car in a nearby garage.

Coming from California, I think having no car would be the hardest adjustment. I'm also a CA native, but have lived in Manhattan for the past 10+ years. We didn't have a car originally when we were students, but needed it for our work commutes. Luckily, our building has pretty reasonable parking compared to most places. If you can work parking into your budget, you might want to consider having a car. We actually use it a lot, especially on the weekends for trips to Costco, Target, etc.

I think NY is a great place to raise children. While it may seem hectic at times, it's well worth it. There's just so much to see and do. We buy most of our groceries at Trader Joe's (which also delivers). It's probably the craziest TJ's around (the checkout line literally is a maze throughout the store), but the prices and quality are the same. Our pediatrician is in walking distance (and there are plenty on the UES). As for going out with both kids on my own, as PP's have mentioned, Double stroller! We use the MacTT.

If you're going to be here for a set time frame, I think that's a great opportunity to live in one of the greatest cities in the world. I have a lot of friends who came here for school, residency, etc, and really appreciated their time here. But be forewarned, you might have a tough time leaving! I thought I was only going to be here for school and move right back to Cali, but I'm still here.

HTH! Good luck with your decision.

AC

DD 02/02
DS 11/04