Benefits of sending DC to preschool? Stay with mom (SAHM) with sibling better choice?

[kusumat]

I wonder whether it will be more beneficial for DC to stay home with mom and play with sibling. What age do you send you DC to school(including preschool)? I remember to stay home with my grandparents until 5 yrs old. What are your thought?

[schums]

DS went to preschool this year (4s program) for the first time. DD will do the same thing next year. I think if a child is well socialized and around other kids, you can only do one year, and be fine. That said, I wanted to send DC to one year of preschool so they were ready for kindergarden. A lot has changed since we went to school -- kindergarden was primarily a "get used to school" year. Now, it's much more academic. They don't have time to "teach" the kids how to act, etc. in school (unfortunately).

On the other hand, I talked to my ped about this and she said there is NO discernable difference between kids who go to preschool and those who don't when it comes to success factors like graduating high school, attending or graduating college, GPA, etc. The study she quoted did take socioeconomic factors into account to, so this is assuming you're middle class, etc.

DS loves being in school this year, and I think he was ready for it (as was I). DD would stay with him if she could, so I think it'll be good for her next year too.

HTH,
Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[lizajane]

schuyler started preschool at 17 months. i think it was a real blessing that i put him in that early, knowing that i wanted to be pregnant (which i was.) turns out, he is very sensitive and has trouble with new things sometimes. if i had waited until 3 or 4, it would have been really hard for him to get used to it. he has always gone 2 mornings/week. next year, he will go 5.

dylan started preschool at 7 months old. also 2 mornings/week. i work from home, own my own business. he LOVED it. he still goes 2 mornings/week this year. next year, he will go 5 mornings/week because i need more time to work from home for sanity and financial reasons and he LOVES school. he goes racing to his classroom and runs inside, without even saying goodbye! he loves loves loves it.

[KAK22]

As a teacher, I can tell you that children who go to preschool or daycare (at least some type of structured, regularly scheduled group program) do MUCH better socially in Kindergarten, than those who stay home until Kindergarten.

DH and I are struggling with this for DD. She's 2 and has been with a home daycare provider since 6 mos. Our amazing daycare provider does preschool activities and is quite structured. I really don't want to make DD move, but I never thought I wouldn't send my own child to traditional preschool.

Our only real options for traditional preschool are halfday programs (then logistically how do we get her to daycare) or daycare centers. I do need to check into the local Montessori programs though.

[miki]

I sent my DD when she was 2. She was very slow to warm up to new things and very cautious so I think being in a group environment was very beneficial for her. The school she attands now is AMAZING. They do so many things with her that I would not think to do. Also, at 3 years, DD really wants to play with kids her own age and not just engage in parallel play near other kids. She likes to have her regular friends at school.

Aside from all the fun she's having, I think preschool is a good way for her to get used to the routine of school. She went 2 mornings a week as a 2 year old and goes 3 mornings a week as a 3 year old. Next year will be 4 mornings a week. I only went to a year of nursery school before kindergarten but back then the kindergarten I remember is a lot like preschool now. I went to kindergarten for half a day, just a few hours in the afternoon. Where we live now, kindergarten is for 5 year olds and is full day. They expect the kids to learn how to read and write in kindergarten. I recall very vividly that I only did letters in kindergarten.

I don't think there is anything wrong with not sending your child to preschool and just sending them to kindergarten at 5. It would probably be a bit of an adjustment if your child has never been in a school environment but kids are very adaptable. But if you find an incredible school, it can be so enriching for your child.

[Momof3Labs]

I like that DS2 has learned how to take instructions from other adults in a group setting. I like that he's learned to sit and listen to a book with 14 other kids sitting around him (of course, he's been sitting and listening to books at home for years, without the distraction of other kids). I like that he's learned to be away from us for those couple of hours (he adjusted fine, but some kids take a few weeks or months to make that adjustment). DS1 loves preschool, and we're happy that we decided to send him.

IMO, the benefits of preschool vs. staying at home are primarily situational vs. educational, unless you plan to homeschool in which case it really wouldn't matter.

[C99]

DS is in his second year of Mother's Day Out, which is a bit of a misnomer since it's 2 days week and 4 hours each day. It's not technically preschool, but it is structured in many ways like a preschool, with "classes" and "teachers" and some components of learning, playtime, etc. DD started just recently as well, mostly because *she* wanted to go. DS will start traditional preschool/pre-K next year and kindergarten the following year.

I have read/been told that kids really don't *need* the socialization and/or the school-readiness aspects of preschool until they are about 4. MDO is really more to give ME a break, but I'm fortunate that my kids enjoy it. If they didn't, I would have a much harder time sending them.

[nfowife]

DD started mom's day out 2 days a week this past fall at 17 months. I was pg w/#2 and new I would want/need the break for my appts., etc. Plus DH works away from home for weeks at a time so I'm on my own a lot and we have no family nearby to help me out. I was very worried/guilty at first but DD loves it! She runs into her class each day with her arms open for the teachers to greet her. I even added a 3rd day after Christmas break because I knew I would need some time with the new baby and because DD loves it so much. She has really been thriving in that environment. Yes, she has had more colds and her first ear infections, but overall it has been a very positive experience for our whole family, and honestly it has kept me sane to know that I can have some me time too (well, it WAS me time before Ethan arrived; now it's me and Ethan time!).

[clc053103]

I think there's arguments and experts for both sides- I struggled with this myself.

My ped told me "the only thing your children get at preschool is germs."

Friends who own a Goddard showed me studies of how kids who go to school early (pre school or daycare) are advanced socially and academically. Also, the most benefit comes from full day, 5 day programs.

I am going with a 2 day set up to give DS a little of both. I can't wholeheartedly agree with either argument!

Best of luck with this tough decision!

[SnuggleBuggles]

This has come up recently. I am pro-preschool as I think it is good for the child to get time to interact with other kids and for me I was happy to have a break for personal time.

I think that our kids are dif't when they aren't with us and it can be helpful for them to learn who they are in the world (in the presence of other responsible adults, of course :)).

Having them go to preschool is a good way to build some new friendships to for the family.

I am assuming that the sibling is younger? In that case it may be nice for that sibling to have you all to themselves as well (or for you to have time to take the littler one to story time, music class or something like that).

I think it is probably nice for the older dc to be around kids their age since they play differently at dif't ages. Older dc will be ready to play house and other imaginative play while younger dc may not be. They have plenty of time with their sibling as they are with their family a lot more than they are preschool. They will get the best of both, imo.

3 is the common starting age for preschool.

The reason for programs like Head Start is that studies show that kids who have gone to preschool do better in school. But, I imagine that is debatable and varies a bunch based on what else is going on in the family.

Beth

[o_mom]

DS1 will go two days a week (2.5 hours/day) this fall and then three days the next fall before Kindergarten.

I think that he needs some of what they offer from a social standpoint. As well, with two others I could use a little time. Right now there is nothing that he is 'missing' for his age, but a few things I feel he would need to improve on socially before K - talking with other people (he is somewhat shy), waiting his turn (big problem even at Parent & Me type classes) and generally interacting with a group. I know that I could search out playgroups and other ways to do this, but honestly it is just easier right now to enroll him in preschool. 5 hours a week is not going to take away from family time, IMO. I think it is also good for him to learn to be his own person away from siblings/parents. I also hope to meet other parents of kids his age to build some friendships for both of us.

[jk3]

My DS started at 2 and he was definitely ready for a bit more rigour than he receives at home. While I do enjoy doing crafts with him and reading with him, he benefits from being in a school environment, both socially and academically. It can work out well for children who go to school and those that do not but I think it's beneficial - as a mom and as an elementary school teacher.

Jenn
DS 6/03
& cautiously expecting in May!

[surpriseimamom]

I make no bones about it. Pre-school is more for me than for my DD. While she does get something out of it, I can find a study that shows by the third grade it really makes no difference if there was pre-school or not in the younger years.

We started our DD out 2 afternoons a week in the fall because neither of us are morning people. Then this spring she is going 2 full days a week and it is hard on both of us being up by 7AM.

Next year she will be going to a school at the beginning of our neighborhood that has state funds which means we only pay for meals. It will be even cheaper at 5 days a week than we are paying for two full days. Our neighbor's daughter goes to the older school and loves it. I just wish they had the same holiday schedule as the regular school system so she could be able to play when her friends are off too.

However, preschool is more about me and my sanity even though I know she loves it. How my mom stayed home with four is beyond me.

[wendmatt]

DD started preschool at 3 almost 4yo for 2 days a week, 2.5 hrs and it's been great for her. She's very shy and a real mummys girl so it's been good for her to be a little independant and have her own time. It's such a short time that I dont worry about sending her off. Next school year she'll go for 3 days of 2.5 hrs. I was going to send her to a pre-K program as she's very bright but all of her classmates are staying in the same class with the same teacher and I think confidence building is the most important thing for her right now, so she's just moving up to the 4 year class.
It is a big decision but I think it's been def the right decision for my DD and I don't regret waiting until she was 3 almost 4 too. Good luck with your decision.

[Melanie]

Ds started Nursery School at 3.5 years for 3 mornings a week. We were going to wait until almost 4 years old but it turned out that Dd was due the week school started and we thought that would be a really bad correlation.
I'm not sure what we will do with Dd. She wants to go NOW and she's only 18 months! At the very least I will wait until she's learned to use the potty proficiently.

[TahliasMom]

I went to preschool when i was 2 because both my parents worked and it was the best 4 years of my life! The first 2 years where focus on free play and the last two were more strucutred but still play based with still had plenty of play.

As for DD, I started going to a mommmy playgroup when DD was 6 months. There were 8 moms with babies close to my DD's age group. We met twice a week and it was a fun experience for the kids as we rotated homes and eventually started going to parks, zoo and museums.

Then I went back to work part time when dd was 14 months so
DD went to home care M,W,and Thur. It was a vey rough transition but dd adjusted, stopped crying when she was dropped off and picked up. The homecare helped her to get off the bottle by 16 months. also helped her language skills.

By the time DD was 2 i started working full time so dd started going to the homecare full time. She did mentioned that she missed her playgroup friends but transitioning into 5 days was smooth. DD was off the binki (she omly used it for sleeping) by August 06 and fully potty trained in Dec 06. DD has made great friends, her language/speaking skills are that of 4 year old, she's learned manners, sharing, taking turns plus her homecare does a lot of "learning activites." But she's pretty bright so she might have been able to develop this quickly without homecare. Who knows.

I think 14 months was a bit early, i was hoping for 18 months because i thought she would be better able to communicate with me if she wasn't happy, or something happends, etc. Overall, i think it's a great socialization experience and the rest is gravy.

My suggestion is to start slowly, maybe 2 days a week and half days and slowly build up. I think it will give you a nice break and also give you more quality with your other child.