When did you tell DC#1 you were expecting DC#2?

[SummerBaby]

I know I've seen posts on this, but can't find them, so I apologize if I'm being repetitive. I'm not due until beginning of August, and right now, DD thinks everything is happening within the next 5 minutes, so I think I'll wait a little while. But when should I do it? Any helpful books or videos on the topic?

Val
DD 2.5 years old
another summer baby coming in 2007!

[Momof3Labs]

We told DS1 when we were around 6 months along. He was older (3yo) but still had a hard time grasping that he had a while to wait. But we told him because he asked - I think that there were too many people who asked him if he was excited to be a big brother (a pet peeve of mine, but I digress) and he wanted to know what was up. Be prepared to answer the question "so when is the baby coming out" about 100 times a day once you tell - you'll wish that you had waited longer!!

Our favorite book was Hello Baby!

[jgriffin]

E will be 21-22mo when DD is born; we've been telling him for months but only recently is he starting to get it. :)

Book-wise, we have 3:

"Hello Baby" (Lizzy Rockwell)
"Waiting for Baby"
"My New Baby" (both by Annie Kubler)

The second two are board books and have no words (and both the older sibling and new baby are of indeterminate sex IMO, so you can read the stories any way you like).

[Melanie]

We told Ds in the 2nd trimester once we'd had the U/S and heard the heartbeat. If we had not had the U/S we would have just waited until the 2nd trimester. Ds was 3+ years so I made sure to put it into his timeframe like "first will be Mother's Day, then Father's Day summer, then our trip, then Grandma's birthday..." things he could mark time with. We bought the Dr. Sear's books "Baby on the Way" and "What Baby Needs."

[mcdonald29]

We just started talking casually about being a big brother, baby coming, etc. after the 20 week u/s. We'd ask him at dinner what color he thought the baby's eyes would be, talk about how it would be his job to teach the baby to talk, point out other babies when we saw them.

SIL gave us "I'm a Big Brother" by Joanna Cole (http://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Brother-Joanna-Cole/dp/0688145078/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-9227103-4551155?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173225774&sr=1-1), which really helped him learn about babies crying, diaper changing, etc.

[o_mom]

DS1 we told a few weeks before (he was only 19 mos), but I don't think any of it registered. He pretty much ignored DS2 for about 3-4 months.

This time around, DS1 is 3.5 and DS2 is almost 2. We started talking to DS1 about it around 20 weeks, but only in the "there's a baby in mommy's belly" sense, not so much the "there's a baby coming" way. He really hasn't asked much about when the baby is coming, not sure why. The few times we just said "The baby will come out when it's ready" and that seemed to be enough for him. He is more worried about whether the baby will walk or talk. DS2 just points to my belly and says "baby" or "kick".

[betsydenny]

I had every intention of waiting till the second trimester to tell DD who is 4 and DS who is 2.5yrs but I get such bad morning sickness that we found it better to just explain to DD why mommy is so tired and uncomfortable all the time. DD is super excited and has told lots of people but then again so have I so so be it- even if I am only 8 weeks! She has also been very sweet and asks me how I feel and has been very helpful- so for her it was the right decision to tell her.

DS doesn't seem to get it and we haven't pushed it. He is excited in theory for a baby and totally loves them but it is way too abstract for him at this point. We may make more of a deal this summer when I am getting huge and it seems more real.

We loved Joanna Cole's I'm a Big Sister when DS was born. DD still points us out in the book when she comes across it (even tho we look nothing like the mom/dad and kids in the book)

HTH!
Betsy

[millerpjm]

Not to hijack the thread, but for those of you that are answering, I have a related question...

Was your DS/DD the first person you told? Or did you tell friends/relatives first?

I have not started TTC #2 yet...we'll be trying in the fall. DS will be at least 4 1/2 by the time I get pregnant with #2. I will want to tell him first (so he knows why people are asking him if he's excited to be a big brother) but I don't know if that will be possible. Anyone have any experience with this? TIA!

Jen

[Piglet]

We didn't tell anyone until I was 3 months PG with any of my pregnancies, so it was easy to keep it from DS1 until we were comfortable sharing the news. I think we told grandparents before telling DS1 - they are more perceptive than he is, LOL! I didn't want DS1 to know early on because I didn't want him blabbing to everyone and also because I didn't want to "untell" him if anything went wrong in the first trimester. If it were up to me, I wouldn't tell my kids until I was in the last trimester, but it gets tricky when other people know and start asking questions. This time around, DS1 knows and DS2 is totally oblivious. We can tell him all we want, but he just doesn't care and I am cool with that. I might try to explain things on his level again in a month or so, but I do not think he needs to think about it until much closer to my due date.

[Lauraford]

I am not good at keeping secrets...OK, I'm horrible! So DD knows and has known for a while.

I also had horrible morning sickness, so I had to explain to her why I was in bed or throwing up all the time.

We told her right after we told my mom. We didn't want her to leak the surprise to everyone...but 3-year-olds aren't so good with secrets either (like mother, like daughter)! She told daycare "the baby in mommy's tummy makes her choke a lot." So the cat was out of the bag early for us.

It helped that she knew a mommy from daycare that was pregnant and DD was able to watch the progression. We tell her the baby won't be ready until it is really warm outside and it's "sprinkler" time (she LOVED the sprinkler last summer so it's something she can remember and relate to easily).

The questions she comes up with are funny. Last week she asked if when I laughed the baby got hurt because my belly was moving so much. And she is constantly telling people she has a baby in HER tummy too. (Oh, and don't get me started on her LOUDLY inquiring whether heavier strangers or relatives have babies in their tummies too! Ooops.)

Overall, I think it's a personal decision and one that depends on many factors (the age of the child, how mom is feeling, how well they deal with change, etc...)

Good luck!