Completely OT....Where to buy an engagement ring?

[mommy111]

My best friend is getting engaged!!! Except she doesn't know it as yet. Her fiance to be asked me if I'd help him buy a ring as a surprise on her birthday. Honestly, she would be happy with anything, she loves her boyfriend to bits, but he wants to buy her a 1-1.5 carat ring. I was wondering if y'all had any experience with an online or brick and mortar jeweller that won't completely bust his finances (he has huge student loans) or tips on getting the best price on diamonds.
Yaayyy, we'll soon have a wedding to plan!!!!!!!!!!

[madelinesmom]

How exciting!!!!!

http://www.sharonholtdesigns.com/

I am posting a website to the the person who sold DH my ring. Her name is Sharon Holt she is from Little Rock Arkansas. DH found her b/c my MIL has jewelery from her and a close family friend bought all of his wife's jewelery from her. DH never actually met her but she sent him tons of stuff via e-mail, he told me after the fact that she never pressured him only sent him information based on his specs he gave her. He had done some comparison shopping in local jewelery store and she was 20-30% less, he was able to get me a bigger ring b/c he went through her. My ring has all the paperwork and he had it appraised by an independent jewelery as soon as it came in and appraised for $2500 more than he spent. She can either design or just sell you a stock setting and a diamond that fits the need of the customer. Best of luck, I am sure she will love anything you pick out, or you better hope she does!!!

Jane
Madeline 1/20/03
Emily 11/29/05
http://b4.lilypie.com/l3-em6/.png
http://b1.lilypie.com/-FG1m6/.png

[SnuggleBuggles]

I went to an independent jewlery store where my mom had gone in the past. I really loved the service we got. They have a diamond connection in another city and they would get the gems in for me to inspect. ETA- then theny made exactly what I wanted. I actually didn't like the 1st ring they made (the diamonds were too big...what kind of girl am I??) and they remade it.

I think that places like Tiffany's have really high mark ups (same with online BlueNile.com- a great place to go for inspiration though!). And I think mall jewlery stores just usually aren't that great. My impression is that they don't usually carry gems that meet really high quality standards. (Simply basing that on the things at places like Kays' when they have the promotional holiday necklaces. kwim?).

Newsweek just ran a blurb about how to avoid buying a "blood diamond." Here is more information on that:
http://jewelry.about.com/cs/diamondmining/a/diamonds.htm

Aside from that, just know your 4Cs and see what you can find for the money. :) Know that he can *always* improve the quality of the diamonds later when he gets more financially stable. Help them avoid unnecessary debt. :)

Have fun!
Beth

[kristine_elen]

How about someplace like this, that has conflict-free diamonds?

http://www.leberjeweler.com/index.php3

[BeachBum]

When buying a ring around that size, he will want to look at loose stones, not stones that are already set. Go to an independent jewelry store, and try to avoid places in the mall. If the place is only showing you "rings" not stones it probably isn't the place for you.

Try to get him to read about buying a diamond before talking to anyone. You want him to understand on paper about the 4 C's, and then the jeweler can help him see the differences in the actual stones.

I agree that bluenile.com does seem to be a place where you can get an idea of prices.

It's hard because I would have been upset if my DH would have gone into debt for my ring. But, I wasn't just coming out of college either. I'm not sure how you get a loan for a ring if the place you are shopping doesn't offer financing. I doubt many independent places do. You'd hate to put $10K on your credit card! The only chain that I would shop at for something like this is Jarred's. Not that there aren't others :)

[maestramommy]

When Dh and I went shopping for a ring, we went to Tiffany's just as a starting point, since they have all the classic styles. Then we went to Robbins and looked at loose stones, and tried on rings with difference carat stones to see how they looked on my finger. That's a point to consider I think, because often sometimes people think they want a certain size without realizing it might not look proportional on the finger. For example, I thought I wanted .75 carat, but I was a little surprised at how big it looked on my finger. We ended up buying a .63 carat or something like that. I had 3 rings I'd be happy with, and Dh made the final choice. He bought the stone from one jeweler and the ring from another. Another tip is something one of the jewelers told him: no matter what the specs, you end up buying the ring (and esp. the stone) with your heart. Which turned out to be true because in the end Dh chose the stone that just really caught his eye.

[mommy111]

He's not straight out of college, is a medical resident, so I was thinking somewhere along the lines of $4000-5000? Do you ladies think that's reasonable? Out of a $45-50,000 annual salary. He said, pick out 2 or 3 that you think she'll like, and didn't want to specify a budget. I'm not super-close to him so I can't push him to ask him what his budget is, I'm just making an estimate on what I think is reasonable so that friend gets a good ring and a financially solvent DH :)

[KBecks]

There is a fab internet board called diamondtalk.com. I'd send him there to read up before he shops.

Now that I see you're helping shopping, I'd recommend you check out one of the jeweler members of diamondtalk.com, Diamond Brokers of Florida. The photos of their rings are amazing, and they have a great reputation among the site members there. Most any of the jeweler members of diamondtalk would be good to work with also, but if *I* ever had reason to buy a diamond, you know, winning the lottery, etc. I'd definitely buy some of their work. They really know diamonds too. Check out their section of the forums and their ring pics -- really gorgeous stuff.

HTH!
Karen

[SnuggleBuggles]

"they say" 2 months salary is the right price range for the ring. But, I really think that is excessive if people are in that $45-50,000 salary range- with all the other debt. Of course, I am a much happier person without any debt around and I would rather start life off together without that concern. That may just be me though.

Does he have a faily ring that he may just want to use for a setting then you can add the diamonds?

Beth

[KBecks]

Seriously, I'd have no problem putting $5k on a credit card for a once in a lifetime purchase like this, as long as I knew I could pay it off over a few months.

If I were the OP, I'd talk to the guy about budget though. Settings can be very $$$ and so maybe the plan is to get the diamond in a simple ring first and a setting later? That's a nice way to go because then your friend can have input into her ring too, but he may want to wow her with a gorgeous diamond AND setting.

Fun for you to help! Enjoy and I hope your friend loves her diamond and ring. And of course, a happy wonderful marriage!

[Marisa6826]

You didn't mention where your friend lives, but if you're in the Tri-State area (NY/NJ/CT), Fortunoff is a great place. The prices are beyond fair, they're all certified, and they have a generous return policy. Speaking of return policies, I know it sounds strange, but Costco has some beautiful engagement rings. ;)

The other option your friend's fiance want to consider is that he buy a CZ to start out with. Then they can either have a 'real' one made to look just like the one he proposed with, or she can have input later on.

The good thing about that is that he doesn't have to front the cash straight away, and she'd have a backup to wear if she doesn't want to wear her 'good' ring every day.


I don't know if your friend would be insulted by a CZ ring proposal, but a friend of mine did it this way and, seriously, there was NO way you could tell it was fake. I was pretty impressed.

-m

[shilo]

so, so ditto this. if she has small hands, i'd seriously rethink 1.5carats as the center stone. that's an enormous ring, especially if you add any side stones. no way i could carry that off on my little hands. if you're talking 1.5carats total weight between the center and any accent/side stuff, then that might be a good target unless her preferences run towards bigger bling :). also, really spend your/his time reading up about cut. nothing affects the way a diamond looks/sparkles more than the cut, IMHO. a flawless poorly cut stone will cost more and never look as nice to anyone looking down at her hand as an included/flawed but precision cut stone. cut can really help him get a lot more bling for his buck :).

hth, lori
Sam 5/19/05 How lucky I am that you chose me.

[muskiesusan]

I also wanted to add the opinion that independent jewelers are great places to buy rings. I would go ahead and ask them if they do financing. The jeweler we used let DH pay off my engagement ring month to month without any down payment or interest. They are so wonderful to work with we will never go anywhere else and have sent several friends their way.


Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[MartiesMom2B]

My cousin got his fiance a beautiful ring at Costco. One of her friend's suggested going to Costco - so it's not that strange.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie & Mei

[JBaxter]

DH went to a mounting event at a local jewlery store. He pick out the stone and then had it mounted in a setting of his choice. They had everything from 1/5 up to 3 karats to choose from.

[crayonblue]

DH had a family friend make mine. Wolf Wilde in Oneonta, NY. DH drew a picture of what he wanted and Wolf made it. I LOVE my ring. Not sure he is inexpensive but he is very good.

Here's an excerpt about him:

Wolf Wilde is a registered jeweler, master goldsmith operating a retail jewelry store in downtown Oneonta. This is a family-run business where the name of the game is premium quality materials, solid design and skilled workmanship. Custom orders are a specialty. You'll find Wolf Wilde, Goldsmith in the Clinton Plaza with hours from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday, Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., and evening hours on Thursdays in December. (607) 432-4862.

ETA: I agree about the small hands. 1.5 carats would be really big on someone with small hands.

[caffeinedreams]

I just recently replaced my lost engagement ring, and I would suggest trying Whiteflash at www.whiteflash.com

They are wonderful to work with, have high-quality diamonds and settings, and very good prices.

An added bonus is that they offer a lifetime upgrade offer in which they will give you the full purchase price of your original diamond if you wish to purchase a more expensive one from them later on. That is especially nice in a situation as you describe in which his income will go up considerably over the next several years and they might like to upgrade for 5th or 10th anniversary, etc.

You might also check out the forums at www.pricescope.com I found quite a bit of information and recommendations there--lots of posters really know a lot about diamonds.

I started out a bit reluctant to purchase online, but absolutely adore my new diamond and had a great experience throughout the whole process.

[KBecks]

I have a site for simulants too -- simstalk.com or simtalk.com -- it's a spinoff of the Diamondtalk web site. There are great simulants out there. Some people feel weird about simulants, but seriously there are gorgeous sim rings out there (made with real and sometimes custom gold and plat settings)

[kcimato]

I agree on all the posts about reading up on diamonds first.That said, if you live near a city that has the Gem and Jewlery Show go there. They have vendors from all over the US. If you own your own business or knows someone who does you can get into the wholesale room and it's cheaper and you don't pay tax. Also just look at loose stones first, then settings.

Also if you go with a 1 carat, go just slightly under like .90-.99 The price just significantly at 1 carrot. Same for 1.50, go a little bit under to get a better price.

Also see if you can bring it back and change the setting if she doesn't like it.

[kijip]

I would not be married, period, if my husband went into any debt over jewelry so my bias is certainly towards only buying what he can pay cash for. The is no shame in using a simple, less expensive ring for a proposal and marriage and then upgrading later on when the money is theirs. My husband and I had plain bands when we married and last fall (September) he surprized me with a new set that he picked out. The diamond wedding band is *exactly* what I love, because he knew me very, very well after 4+ years of marriage, lol. I actually like it more than anything I would have picked out myself or that we would have picked out 5 years ago when we got married. And I have even grown used to/very fond of the diamond solitaire.

If he does not know where to start, could he get a loose stone set in a simple setting and then she could have it re-set in a setting she loves later in the engagment? It seems that many of my male friends have done that and it has worked really nicely. Also there are some good simulants out there. A friend of mine, finacially comfortable but clumsy as all get out with stuff (she breaks a cell phone a month it seems like, lost her heirloom pearl necklace worth thousands, always losing things and breaking things) insisted on a simulant for her engagement ring and it *looks really good*. She has a three stone ring, all CZ, in a pricey setting.

My debt-phobia bias aside, congrats to the couple and I hope they both love whatever ring they end up with. In the end, we all know that the marriage is sweeter than any ring.

[kijip]

>The good thing about that is that he doesn't have to front the
>cash straight away, and she'd have a backup to wear if she
>doesn't want to wear her 'good' ring every day.

This is a very good point, especially if they travel or camp. I have to leave my rings home when we go camping because I *know* they would fall in a lake or something or at the very least come back very dirty. :P

[kijip]

>I am a much happier person without any debt around and
>I would rather start life off together without that concern.
>That may just be me though.

Debt and financial worries cause a lot of marital stress for many couples so I agree it is wise to avoid starting out with debt (beyond student loans) if at all possible. I would much prefer a thin gold band that was *mine* than a diamond with a monthly bill.

[mommy111]

Thank you all for your suggestions! Spoke to the fiance (?DF for short?) yesterday and insisted on some budget guidelines, he thinks around 4-5K is very do-able (I agree with everything everyone said about debt, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and in another year, he'll be making good money...besides, per what he says, he can pay off 4-5k now in 2-3 months)
Also, thank you for the suggestions on settings, friend's DF says his mom may have an old grandma heirloom ring that she's never used, and since my friend loves vintage jewellery, he's going to see if that may be usable, which would be an ideal solution!
Sadly, they don't live in the tristate area, I know from living up east that there are some fabulous and very reasonable jewellers there, but we're looking online. Also, I told him to look to see if there are any trade shows there.
I'll keep you updated....this is so much fun, spending money for someone else :)

ETA: Oh, and Jane, thank you for that reference, I called up Sharon Holt and spoke to her as well.
Also Karen, thank you for that reference, I'll call up the place in Florida today, their jewellery is absolutely GORGEOUS!!! Maybe I can buy me some stuff from there (well, I can lust, right?:) )

[Marisa6826]

I thought about this place last night after I logged off. I had a very good friend that bought both his wife's engagement ring and their wedding bands from this place in Brooklyn called the Clay Pot.

Beautiful stuff!

http://www.clay-pot.com/cpw_handmade_landing.jsp

-m

[mommy111]

So expensive. But so darned gorgeous!!!! I wish I was a guy shopping fpr my fiance. Or prob better that I'm not, I'd buy the most expensive thing and go bankrupt!