How do I stop this?

[KrisM]

DS has taken to the phrase "Ouch, Mommy stop that. You're hurting me. Ouch." I hear it many times a day. I worry that when we're out people are going to think I'm actually hurting him. Often, I am holding his hand while walking through a parking lot and he wants to run so is pulling on me. Sometimes, I am pushing the stroller/shopping cart and he wants to do it and he'll say this. I am not even touching him then! I am sure I am not hurting him, as it does get said many times a day when I'm not doing anything that could possibly hurt him - putting on a sock, etc.

I've tried telling him that he should tell me what he wants to do and that he shouldn't say "ouch" unless he is hurt. No luck.

[s7714]

Quite frankly, I would ignore it. If he knows it's getting your attention he'll probably keep doing it. My older DD went through a phase of complaining that she was in pain to get our attention. She no longer does it as much with me, because she's long since learned that I won't fuss over every little thing that she proclaims as an "owie". (I still look at her to make sure it doesn't look like a real injury, but I don't acknowledge her complaint unless it seems authentic.) She still pulls the I'm in pain routine with DH because he responds to it. Whenever she wants more attention from him, she'll come up with a sudden injury on the spot.

Jennifer
Mommy to
Miss Pure Energy 3/03
Miss Limit Tester 6/05

Our bones may be brittle, but our spirit is unbreakable.
Osteogenesis Imperfecta www.oif.org

[newmomto3kids]

My kids went through this phase. I think it was a pretty clever way of getting me to stop doing something they didn't like. I found myself frequently telling them to stop doing something because it would hurt...ie. please don't hit mommy, it hurts...don't pull the leaves off the plant, you will hurt it...don't run away, you will get hurt.
I think my kids just decided that hurting is the key-word for getting someone to stop something.
I also think they mimic what we say, just for kicks. Gracie often says "Cut that out!!" to no one in particular.
I think it is a cute little kid phase that will be over soon. In the meantime, just ignore any people who look at you like you are hurting your kid. What do they matter anyway???

[Piglet]

I think that ignoring it is the way to go. The only other idea I have, which my DH mocks me about mercilessly, is to tell your kids the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. My DS1 was doing something similar and I clearly remember telling him the story with DH standing next to me thinking I had gone off the deep-end. I don't know if it worked or not, but DS1 outgrew that behaviour shortly thereafter. Of course he is doing something very similar these days (a few years later) and DH keeps joking that I should try my story again... I just might!

As an aside, DS2 has taken to say "NO TOUCHING" very loudly whenever he feels like it (in public, in private, when someone touches him, when they don't come near him, etc.). It is cute, but I fear that someone will think the wrong thing. It didn't help that last week he discovered his penis and when he was at daycare the caregiver went to wipe him and he started yelling "NO TOUCHING MY PENIS". She told us the story and we all laughed, but that must have been hard for her to explain to the other caregivers!

[randomkid]

We've been going through a similar thing with DD, but with diaper changes. I know this is because I had to give her a suppository ONE time and I know it hurt. This was months ago and every once in a while, she still says "it hurts" with diaper changes. I was worried that the sitter would think we were doing something to her, IYKWIM. I had to explain it to her, so I understand your concerns.

I would just say "I'm not hurting you" one time and leave it at that. I would just tell DD "no hurts" once and change her diaper, ignoring it all the time she was saying it. I feel like this lets your DC know that you are acknowledging them (sometimes totally ignoring can cause a bigger scene), but you aren't making a big deal out of it. Say it once, then ignore it.

[kozachka]

>As an aside, DS2 has taken to say "NO TOUCHING" very loudly
>whenever he feels like it (in public, in private, when someone
>touches him, when they don't come near him, etc.). It is
>cute, but I fear that someone will think the wrong thing.

At this day and age, I am sure that the only thing other parents and pp caring for your child (and who cares about the rest, they don't know what they are talking about) would think is that you are teaching your son to respect his body and enforce limits as far as touching is concerned. Both good things as far as I am concerned.

>It didn't help that last week he discovered his penis and when he
>was at daycare the caregiver went to wipe him and he started
>yelling "NO TOUCHING MY PENIS". She told us the story and we
>all laughed, but that must have been hard for her to explain
>to the other caregivers!

Thanks for the laugh :). I needed it.