Fueling my competitive nature

[megs4413]

I grew up playing competitive sports. It wasn't so much that we wanted to "win", but that I enjoyed the actual competition. I liked working hard to try and get better and I thrived on the competition that I found in sports and even in the classroom. But now post mommy-hood I'm no longer an athlete and in no condition to participate in a competitive sports league of any kind, but I still crave that excitement and challenge. Is there anyone else out there that has a competitive side that's not being fueled? And when i say competitive I dont' mean, "i need to be THE best" i mean, "I need to be MY best". Any ideas on what I could do to nurture that side of me? It was such a big part of me for so long that I feel kind of lost without that aspect of my personality. And perfectionism isn't getting me anywhere.........

[Lovingliv]

hear, hear megs!

I feel the same way. So I am going to attempt to start exercising tomorrow. I am hitting the pavement on my bike....or i may just put it in the trainer so that i can see how I "feel" IYKWIM.

I love biking cause I race me....and I get better everytime.

Could you try something like that, in 6 weeks?

Organizing gives me that same rush,,,,,but I am weird. And I have a lot to organize.

How is PC? Prayers continue.....

[Lovingliv]

hear, hear megs!

I feel the same way. So I am going to attempt to start exercising tomorrow. I am hitting the pavement on my bike....or i may just put it in the trainer so that i can see how I "feel" IYKWIM.

I love biking cause I race me....and I get better everytime.

Could you try something like that, in 6 weeks?

Organizing gives me that same rush,,,,,but I am weird. And I have a lot to organize.

How is PC? Prayers continue.....

[jenmcadams]

You and I sound very similar. I used to be a competitive athlete (college and high school) and spent most of my 20's being competitive about my career and only just barely paying attention to the athletics (isn't it nice how you can maintain your weight in your 20's without doing much :)). I had my DD at 30 and realized I missed the regular athletic competition (and needed to do something about the post partum weight) and started to get into triathlons. I'm an OK runner (bad knees), a decent biker, and a horrific swimmer, but triathlons were perfect for me b/c they are so popular right now that there are a wide variety of abilities and it's not hard to be a newbie. The first year I did an Olympic distance event (1500M Swim, 42K bike, 10K run) and a 1/2 Ironman (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run). I never finished higher than mid-pack (in fact in those first two races I was probably more like bottom third), but for me it really helped satisfy that competitive edge. I decided to put off TTC our second child so I could do an Ironman triathlon the next year (I know this seems crazy, but I really was bitten by the bug and decided it would be easier with one kiddo than two). I spent the first 6 months trying to learn how to swim better (I joined a Masters swim team -- kind of like swim team for grown-ups -- it was humiliating to be so slow, but really helped me learn to swim a little better). Then I spent the last 5 months leading up to the race training hard. I ended up finished dead middle of the pack overall (bottom 10% on the swim, 70% on the bike and 60% on the run). I wasn't fast, but I finished. That was over 2 years ago and now I'm +1 Kid, +15 lbs, but thinking about at least getting back in the game with a couple triathlons and a few shorter road races this summer.

This may not really be answering your question b/c I wasn't sure if you're looking for an athletic outlet or not, but if you are, I highly recommend triathlons. The sport is very supportive to newcomers, it forces you to cross-train (which is great for my ailing knees and body) and it's fun for numbers-dorky, competitive folks like me who like to keep track of distances, PRs, etc. in spreadsheets and see how my races and training compare year to year. I know I'll be slow this year, but I'm hoping I can get back into things slowly and enjoy the races and just enjoy losing weight and improving

Edited to Add: I forgot how young your little one is -- I hope he's feeling better -- I've been watching your posts and thinking about him. Training for a Sprint Tri (500-750M swim, 10-15 mile bike, 5K run) at the end of the summer might be a fun goal if you have any interest in this and if your body feels up to exercising in another 6-8 weeks.

[jenmcadams]

You and I sound very similar. I used to be a competitive athlete (college and high school) and spent most of my 20's being competitive about my career and only just barely paying attention to the athletics (isn't it nice how you can maintain your weight in your 20's without doing much :)). I had my DD at 30 and realized I missed the regular athletic competition (and needed to do something about the post partum weight) and started to get into triathlons. I'm an OK runner (bad knees), a decent biker, and a horrific swimmer, but triathlons were perfect for me b/c they are so popular right now that there are a wide variety of abilities and it's not hard to be a newbie. The first year I did an Olympic distance event (1500M Swim, 42K bike, 10K run) and a 1/2 Ironman (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run). I never finished higher than mid-pack (in fact in those first two races I was probably more like bottom third), but for me it really helped satisfy that competitive edge. I decided to put off TTC our second child so I could do an Ironman triathlon the next year (I know this seems crazy, but I really was bitten by the bug and decided it would be easier with one kiddo than two). I spent the first 6 months trying to learn how to swim better (I joined a Masters swim team -- kind of like swim team for grown-ups -- it was humiliating to be so slow, but really helped me learn to swim a little better). Then I spent the last 5 months leading up to the race training hard. I ended up finished dead middle of the pack overall (bottom 10% on the swim, 70% on the bike and 60% on the run). I wasn't fast, but I finished. That was over 2 years ago and now I'm +1 Kid, +15 lbs, but thinking about at least getting back in the game with a couple triathlons and a few shorter road races this summer.

This may not really be answering your question b/c I wasn't sure if you're looking for an athletic outlet or not, but if you are, I highly recommend triathlons. The sport is very supportive to newcomers, it forces you to cross-train (which is great for my ailing knees and body) and it's fun for numbers-dorky, competitive folks like me who like to keep track of distances, PRs, etc. in spreadsheets and see how my races and training compare year to year. I know I'll be slow this year, but I'm hoping I can get back into things slowly and enjoy the races and just enjoy losing weight and improving

Edited to Add: I forgot how young your little one is -- I hope he's feeling better -- I've been watching your posts and thinking about him. Training for a Sprint Tri (500-750M swim, 10-15 mile bike, 5K run) at the end of the summer might be a fun goal if you have any interest in this and if your body feels up to exercising in another 6-8 weeks.

[MarisaSF]

If you don't have time or want to do something physical right now, what about things like Bunco or card game nights? DH and I play Scrabble together occasionally. By yourself, you can do crossword or Sudoku puzzles.

[kijip]

I know you are newly post delivery so this would not work immediately, but I have a lot of friends that play in a totally unskilled soccer league. Most of them are moms with kids and they do it on Sunday afternoons- practice and then a game. Perhaps you could find something like that in a few months or a year. I am totally tempted to join up now that I see the level of play is totally beginners.

[shilo]

lots of good ideas so far. sorry for the novel that follows, but i've sooo been where you're at with a newborn and feeling so out of sorts in my own skin and yearning to feel like a bit of my old self again.

i totally agree that it doesn't have to be something physical to fuel your competitive spirit, esp. in the beginning right after a new baby. i love the idea of sudoku. i definitely went thru a phase where i found these stimulating, especially the handcrafted puzzles. look for a book at your local bookstore that specifically says it has handwritten puzzles if you're looking for a challenge. start with reading the directions/tips, then start with the easy puzzles and work up. even if you can steamroll thru them in just a few minutes a piece, learning the lessons/strategies in those easy/intermediate puzzles gives you a better foundation and you will enjoy the more challenging puzzles even more down the line.

if you are craving something physical, then i think the dictating factor will be - are you going to have childcare? i think you can absolutely find a sport you can do at a hobby level that can fuel that need to be competitive with yourself. i personally love to get outside, but really was a late bloomer to strenuous physical activity. i HATE running with a passion, but put me on a bike and i'm invincible (at least in my own little world :) hehe).

i started cycling when sam was about 3.5 to 4mos old. started very slowly, obviously. but like pp said, any endurance sport can help fuel that competitive nature in you either against your own times or against others. i'm not big into competing against others, but i never knew until now how i could derrive such immense personal satisfaction from continuing to best my own 'records'. and you can make really little incremental steps for yourself. for me it's often stopping one less time up a particularly long or steep climb, or making it thru a challenging section in a higher gear than i was able to the previous time i rode it.

i am only able to get outside to ride 1x/week most weeks b/c i need daylight hours when my parents can watch DS on the weekends. so i spin 3x/week indoors additionally. my YMCA has free childcare up to 1.5hrs/day - just long enough for a class and a quick shower. maybe when jj's a little older and it's beyond the 'sick' season, you can find a local gym that has good and affordable childcare around you? there are plenty of ways to make spinning more challenging for yourself too. you control how hard you push and how much resistance you tow at the cadence the instructor sets with the music. if you find good instructors who really push you it can really make you dig deep.

anyway, i feel so differently not just about my body, and how strong and capable it is now, but also about myself and the determination and grit it takes sometimes to stick with it. with a challenging section of a specific ride sure, but also just with the schedule i've set for myeself too. i think this is what you're maybe looking for again? that sense of holding yourself to it and the feeling of accomplishment when you meet the goal? be kind to yourself - for me it came slowly. i started out just pushing the stroller walking, then added just once a week riding for a few months when my parents could watch sam on the weekends. and then finally, as he got older and i found childcare i was comfortable with, started adding the spinning classes.

jj is sooo new, you have so much on your plate right now. take a deep breath and get yourself thru these first few weeks and months with two. if it helps, set achieveable minigoals for youself. write them down, and then you can work on meeting/beating them :). but don't be too hard on yourself either. i *think* i understand where your at, and i remember how ancy i was in those early weeks to feel like my old self again. but don't forget to give yourself permission to take the time it takes to get there. oh, and i'm not my old self but that's ok! i'm my better self and a mommy too boot, so that's a nice bonus in the journey, no?

lori
Sam 5/19/05 How lucky I am that you chose me.