Dealing w/tantrums in public

[LarsMal]

This is new for me! DS (19 mos) is usually pretty good and listens/cooperates when it is time to leave somewhere. Recently, when we've gone to the park or somewhere where he is having fun I'll tell him, "Okay, it's time to say Bye-Bye to the park." We spend the next few minutes waving good-bye to the swings and slide, etc., and he's fine.

Well, he's been fine...until today! He threw a raging fit- at the library of all places- when it was time to leave. He wasn't done doing EVERY puzzle they have in the children's section. Of course everyone was watching me. Luckily it wasn't too crowded! I finally just scooped him up and took him outside. Once we got out there I told him to stop, and that he wasn't being a good boy. He pretty much kicked and screamed all the way to the car, in the car, and most of the ride to our next stop. I mostly ignored it, but every once in a while turned to him to say, "That's enough!"

Is ignoring it at this age the best way to handle it- especially in public? What is happening to my sweet baby boy?!?!

[Piglet]

Could he just be having a bad day? I think you don't have a problem on your hands until it happens a few times. Maybe he was tired or hungry or just in a bad mood?

[ohmommymommy]

We scooped DD up at those times, placed her in the car and sat out of it until she calmed down, left restaurants after food had been ordered (taking it to go) and basically sent her a message that her actions had an affect on what happened at that moment.

Don't worry about other people watching you, they are either thinking thank goodness it is not me THIS TIME, or thinking been there done that, or thanking you for removing the screaming child.

Follow your gut. WE happen to believe that parenting is 95% instinctual. You will make mistakes and you will earn respect if you acknowledge those mistakes to your children. I will tell you the thing that terrifies DD the most today is doing something that dissappoints me or DP.

[Wife_and_mommy]

Around this age is when I started giving dd warnings that we were leaving/stopping whatever. I always did 5/2/1 minutes. I actually did this until a couple months ago when a friend made me realize she didn't need the reminders anymore. Now I just do a 5min. warning. It works wonders for dd so hth.


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I love them most when they are sleeping.--Me
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[janeybwild]

Public tantrums are so much harder than private ones! Some of the tools that you could add are giving 5-minute warnings of an upcoming transition, distraction, giving a choice at a crucial point when you sense he's about to melt (e.g. do you want to put your coat on yourself or shall I do it?), talk about the next thing you are going to do, consistency, mirroring back his feelings so he knows you understand. I'm not sure I would think about it as his being "not a good boy" necessarily (although that's hard). He's being age appropriate in his emotional response to something he doesn't want. You just have to help him find a better outlet. My sympathies as you enter this next wonderful stage :)