How can I become less... cheap?

[kozachka]

Maybe this is the wrong board for this kind of question but I think some if not many of you would be able to relate... While most days I am proud of the deals that I find, there are days (like yesterday) when I can't help but wonder if saving are really worth the time and effort I put into achieving them.

Let me give you an example. I had to book a rental car for 10 days in FL. Hotwire quoted me $227 for economy car, don't remember how much a midsize car was, probably $20 more. After checking FatWallet travel board and bidding a few times on Priceline, I ended up with a midsize car for $199. Was the >$50 savings worth the time it took away from my sleep? Probably not, considering our finances, still I could not help it. Similarly, I spend hours upon hours, if not days, trying to ge the best deal on hotels. We love travelling so it's almost a hobby for me, I learn a lot about the area in the process and for most part we have great experience but maybe we would have been as happy with something suggested by a travel agent? I can probably work as one myself having planned our trips for the last 9-10 years in even such exotic locations as Vietnam.

Also, I am getting a distinct feeling that I am too cheap as far as my clothing and shoes are concerned. People who make far less than I do spend few times more on their wardrobe while I wear the same (classic good quality) thing season after season. Some of my suits are 10 years old! My boss' PA just bought her 3rd pair of boots (only :eyeroll $300) this season alone while I am still wearing boots that I bought pre-DS. Granted they did not see much wear in California the first few years but still. I like nice things but cringe at the prices.

Need to learn to be less cheap.

P.S. I don't have as much of a problem buying things for DS & DH and splurging on meals in restaurants. Go figure.

[kijip]

I get you on this one. We bought computers and some DVDs and our bank immediately called to make sure I still had my debit card. :P

Being very busy with school has forced me to ease up on frugality that is costing me money (like wasting an hour to save $8). Still, I have become more and more careful about buying things even when I know that I really don't need to feel guilty.

On the clothes thing I went without new clothes for years. I actually lost weight that I attribute to getting the new clothes since I felt so good about my appearance for a change. Still, I admire your classic quality but timeless approach! Maybe give yourself a small amount of cash to by a few newer pieces.

A I also understand that it is much easier to spend on family than on ourselves. I never think twice about a gift for my mom or something for Toby (well, I do now!) but ask me to spend $20 on ME and it makes me worry.

[dawell0]

No advice, but I feel your pain. I'm still wearing maternity clothes that are too big because my old pre-preggo clothes are too small. I was at work the other day using a Sharpie on my black shoes because I didn't want to buy another pair. It is sad really, especially since I buy lots of things for DS when I see them. I was thinking about looking at garage sales, but that's silly when I can afford to get a few new things, particularly since I'm a manager at work!

[hez]

I have the same problem.

I got over it a little bit (only a little!) using a hefty gift card from some Amex Membership Rewards points. First time in a long time that I paid full price for anything for me.

It's honestly taken the full 3 1/2 years since DS was born for me to be willing to spend real money on myself. I have an enabling cube mate and a bit of money I've saved up, and that's helping. And then when people compliment me on my clothes or whatever... well, you can see the spiral :)

Find your own personal balance. It doesn't have to be anyone else's balance. But don't forget to cut yourself some slack every once in a while and treat yourself.

[lizamann]

This is an interesting book that sort of addresses the topic. "The Paradox of Choice"

http://www.amazon.com/Paradox-Choice-Why-More-Less/dp/0060005688

You don't have to read the book because the reviews give it all away. But the idea of being a satisficer instead of a maximizer is a good one. Satisficers have a certain set of criteria, and once met, they go with it and are happy. A maximizer is always looking for the best item, or the best deal, so they spend an enormous amount of time and mental energy on the process, and often regret it anyway thinking they could have done better. So it sounds like you need a little more "satisficing" in your life.

[robinsonbn]

You sound like me :) Though I think the price hunting is half the fun :) Sometimes I will splurge a little, even then it is usually during sales. It is never on myself though it is on DH and DS. I have become worse since DS before him I would get into these "moods" and would just go shopping crazy for a day every few months. Now the only time that has happened has been on DH's birthday (I was 8mo pregnant walked into a department store to find they were having lots of sales, and had upped my credit limit by over $200 and the card was already payed off....yea he got a whole new wardrobe and then some) Then I went a bit nuts a Christmas, again price shopping though. If you enjoy price hunting and are proud of the savings, but still slurge on items you enjoy even if they aren't for you there is nothing wrong with it.