Did/does your husband go with you to your prenatal exams?

[peasprout]

After my first child I told DH not to bother since my prenatal appointments have all been very routine,...just asking questions, listening for the heartbeat, nothing worth missing work for. He did come with me for the ultrasound though. Now I'm expecting our third child and have to do the nuchal translucency test for the first time. So I guess this is a two part question. First, is the nuchal translucency an "important" appointment that he should be at? And secondly, how often does your DH go to appointments with you?

[HIU8]

I'm due in June with DC #2. DH went to the 20 week ultrasound. I also had a 28 week u/s and he went to that one--his choice. I told him he did not have to be there. He did not go to the nuchal translucency test. Then again, I had the blood draw 10 days prior to the u/s so we could get the results and not have to wait another week.

For DS, DH went to one OB appointment to meet my OB (who ended up not delivering me b/c DS was born Thanksgiving weekend and she was away). DH also went to the 20 week u/s and that was it.

To tell the truth, I do not want DH at all my appointments. They take 10 minutes and are over. As long as nothing major is happening and nothing seems to be wrong or questionable, I don't feel DH needs to be there. Of course, I call him after the appointment to tell him what the doc said.

HTH
Heather
DS 11/27/04
DD EDD 6/22/07

[lilycat88]

He went to every one through a high risk pregnancy where I was in the office every week for 12 weeks and then every other until we delivered at 37 weeks.

[C99]

My DH came with me to the big appointments when I was pregnant w/ my first, to the 20-week U/S when I was pregnant w/ my second, and not at all (not even the nuchal fold scan at 12 weeks) when I was pregnant w/ my third. The first time my DH met the midwives was at the hospital.

[Tondi G]

My husband went to EVERY appt with me during my 1st pregnancy. The second time around he had just taken time off from work cause his grandmother passed away and my sister was able to come with me, so I told him it was fine for him to miss ONE appointment. That was the when I found out I had a missed Miscarriage. He was so upset and said he would never miss another appointment again. So yeah, he has and will always come to my prenatal appointments!

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/8/01 and Aidan 5/4/05

[lisams]

With our first he went to the u/s at 20 weeks (they didn't have the nuchal translucency test then) and to the first appt. where we heard the heartbeat.

With our second he went to the nuchal u/s appt and the 20 week u/s and none of my OB appts.

DH really enjoyed being there for all of the u/s. I think it made it a little more "real" for him.

[KrisM]

DH went to a handful with DS. I think he went to 1 with DD. Mostly, he came home to watch DS so I didn't have to bring him with me.

[kijip]

My husband went to every appointment with me while I was pregnant with Toby and then to all of the appointments during and following our miscarried pregnancies. The m/c for moral support and for the first pregnancy, for practical concerns. Our doctor's office was out of the way and I did not drive until Toby was 2- he had to drive me there, so he might as well come in, LOL. My appointments were always scheduled on one of his days off- Mondays at the time.

[ellies mom]

My husband works a compressed work week (3-4 12 hour shifts/week). So it was really easy to schedule all of my appointments around his schedule. There was one appointment that he had to miss because of a mandatory meeting that popped up. It was very important to him to be at the appointments. He makes all of DD's appointments now as well.

[s7714]

My DH only came to one apt. with my second PG--that was the u/s to find out the gender. Mainly he didn't go to any of the other apts. because he was at home watching our older DD. Ironically she ended up being at more apts. than he did because of last minute schedule problems (either the doctor's or his). I know my DH would have liked to have been able to listen to the heart beat and see the first u/s and all that, but it just didn't work out that way.

Jennifer
Mommy to
Miss Pure Energy 3/03
Miss Limit Tester 6/05

Our bones may be brittle, but our spirit is unbreakable.
Osteogenesis Imperfecta www.oif.org

[Melanie]

As many as possible. More with our first b/c the birthing center was closer to our home/work. With our second it was about 45-60 minutes away. He came to the monthly ones but once we got near the end and it was 2-4 times a month he could not.

I'm not sure about your test. For me more tests mean more stress so I consented to a minimal amount.

[nupe]

In my opinon "nuchal translucency" is an important appointment.

[gatorruth]

I had the NT test, DH came with me and it is important. That being said, the NT was really just a longer ultrasound done in a different office with different people. If your fetus won't cooperate and move into a place where they can measure that spot on the back of his head, you have to come back and do it again. Just a FYI--

Good luck!
Ruth

[g-mama]

My dh only came to the 20 week ultrasound each of the three times. My appts were mostly in and out and there seemed to be no reason for him to miss work for that. I suppose it would depend on his job, too. Dh's days are very hectic and not conducive to leaving the office mid-day.

I don't think the nuchal fold would be necessary for him to come to. You don't hear anything at that time. You get the results about a week later.


~Kristen

Paolo 11-00
Benjamin 8-03
Marco 12-05

[chlobo]

My DH only came to the biggies. It was too difficult for him to take off work so mainly he came to the u/s appointments. He did not come to the NT test b/c I didn't think it was a big deal. The u/s was actually very short. He did come to the 20 week u/s but probably won't attend anymore appointments until the birth.

[elliput]

DH was at every prenatal appointment except one, when he was out of town on a business trip. He travelled quite a bit while I was PG but managed to arrange his trips around my appointments. The one he missed came up last minute.

Nuchal translucency is definitely one he should attend.

[elephantmeg]

DH came to the first appointment to hear the heartbeat, a couple random ones and the ultrasound and then the overdue u/s-and I was glad he came to overdue ultrasound one because my fluid levels were low and we had to make a decision about whether to induce that day or wait for the following Monday. I needed help making that decision!

[Corie]

My DH went to both ultrasound appointments and that's it. It was just
alot easier for me to go alone and then call him after my appointments.

[gordo]

DH went to my first appt, any appt where i was going in for bleeding (which there were a lot of!) and every ultrasound. I would definitely want him there for any test where I could potentially get bad news.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I have only had one this pg so far but he seems intent on meeting all 6 CNMs in the practice so I know he will go to at least that many appointments. He only missed one last pg b/c he was on a business trip.

I picked the practice b/c they have a birth center and the lucky bonus is that it is less than 5 minutes from dh's office. :)

ETA- I have told him that he doesn't have to come but we'll see what he ends up deciding. The CNMs are very chatty and there are very few times I expect an appt. to simply be in and out. They are big on "patient education" and really want to talk to you. I'm sure there will be duds of appts where everything is delayed and rushed.

If I were choosing to have the NT test done I would want him there. Mainly so he could see the little one too but also b/c I think I would be very stressed out (hence one of the main reasons I decided not to have it done...I knew I would be a wreck waiting X days/ weeks for the results). I would **** the NT as an "important" appt..

Beth

[table4three]

With my first, DH went to the US appointment only. My appointments were on my days off work, during the day and we didn't see a need for him to take off work for most of them - plus it would have been difficult for him to do so.

This pregnancy, again, he went to the big US only. I went to the nuchal translucency alone and didn't have a problem with it. This time, though, my OB office isn't too far from his office, so I schedule my appointments for right before lunch time, then he just meets me out for lunch (since DS is with a babysitter anyhow for the appointments). So, I get to fill him in on the apt as soon as it is done.


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http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev230pp___.png[/img][/url]

[megs4413]

didn't go to any of them....doc met him in the delivery room...

[Sillygirl]

He went to the u/s's. Otherwise it's easier for me to go alone - I talk in doctor language with the OB, it goes faster and we cover more.

[sdbc]

DH came to all the major ones, as well as the first few. The nuchal was probably the #1 one not to miss. It is an extremely high quality ultrasound. We saw more in that than our later u/s. Plus, we were able to find out the sex then. Also, we luckily had nothing wrong with DD, but I would have hated to have a bad result without DH there for support.



Sue, mommy to Aurora (Rory) born 5/13/04

[dr mom]

I voted "major appointments only" meaning he came to the ultrasound only. I didn't feel strongly about it either way. If he'd really wanted to come along, that would've been ok - but I typically go to doctor/dentist visits alone, so didn't expect him to be there.

How many pelvic exams does a DH *really* need to see? ;)

[pb&j]

Yes, the nuchal translucency appt is very important, and he should be there.

When I was pg with Max, DH came with me to every appointment until we were certain that Max didn't have any of the same birth defects his sister did (around 22 weeks). After that, he only came for the ultrasounds, since it was very difficult for his schedule to accomodate appts in the middle of the day.


-Ry,
mom to Max the one year old
and my girl in heaven

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/37124.gif

[pb&j]

>
>I don't think the nuchal fold would be necessary for him to
>come to. You don't hear anything at that time. You get the
>results about a week later.
>


Not at my Dr's office. He and the genetic counselor give immediate results based on the nuchal translucency measurement, and revised results once the bloodwork comes back. It's also possible to do the bloodwork ahead of time so that the bloodwork is back when the u/s is done.

-Ry,
mom to Max the one year old
and my girl in heaven

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/37124.gif

[SASM]

DH only really wants to come with me to the U/S appointments. And that is FINE BY ME as I try to plan by routines around the days that he has off so he can stay home with the kids. It is soooo luxurious for me to go to the appt WITHOUT the e3, a squirming/screaming toddler, and a very inquisitive 4yo. That being said, we are on #3 and DH is in the health care field..."been there, done that" is his frame of mind. :)

Like you, I had him come to the NT test with me. For me, it really wasn't a big deal ~ although I've had two M/Cs, they were in the first trimester and my other two pgs (I & B) were uneventful. Although I am of "AMA", I am 34 and on the cusp ~ I wasn't overly concerned. They did the U/S ~ took some measurements, heard the HB, checked for gender (hee-hee!) ~ and then the labwork. Very routine. I just thought DH would like to be there since it was the first view of the baby. The appt window was also small, forcing me to potentially make an appt with just the kids. I really wanted him to be there since I would not be able to move around and keep the kids stationary. If your kids would be okay and there really isn't a concern of yours that the results would be abnormal, you could go alone. You do not get the "final" result until at least a week later, after the labwork is completed and the numbers are calculated. The only prob with him coming and, therefore, the kids, is that we had to tell them about the preg a little earlier than I wanted. I was hoping to tell them when I was definitely in the clear, around 24 weeks, that is if Ian didn't start questioning things first. :)

[o_mom]

With #1, Dh went to the first appointments with the RE (3-4 through 10 wks) and the first couple at the OB. After that, just the 20 wk U/S and then at the very end when I had really bad back pain and couldn't walk without assistance. In between, he had knee surgery and used up alot of sick time with rehab so it didn't make sense for him to burn 1.5-2 hr of sick time every 2-4 wks for a 10 min check. We were trying to save time for after.

With #2 and #3, he went to a few, mainly the big ones with u/s.

[Fairy]

Ditto.

[Fairy]

While not a doctor, I also talk in as much DoctorSpeak as possible, and it makes DH nuts.

[LBMommy]

Tondi - The same exact thing happened to me & my DH - it was my 2nd preg, so he wasn't coming to all the appts anymore, but he was travelling out of the country and the dr. discovered a missed m/c at my 16 week appt. He was really really really upset too. Your DH is not alone... Now I am expecting again and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to convince him to miss ANY!!

Jen
Mommy to Avery 8/04
Our angel 5/06
and EDD 9/07

[Sillygirl]

Are you sure it doesn't make the doctor nuts, too?

jk ;-)

[hillview]

DH comes to every one he can. I'd say this time around he misses about 1/3 of them (first time he missed maybe 1/4th of them). I feel like it helps him be connected to the pg. The NF test is important IMHO. You get to see the U/S and at my appt they give you results so that was impt.

Good luck!
/hillary

[hillview]

DH comes to every one he can. I'd say this time around he misses about 1/3 of them (first time he missed maybe 1/4th of them). I feel like it helps him be connected to the pg. The NF test is important IMHO. You get to see the U/S and at my appt they give you results so that was impt.

Good luck!
/hillary

[barbarhow]

He came for the USG and the amnio with Jack. I don't think he came for any with Anna which was fine with me, including the NT, but that's just me. And him-he hates hospitals-I am used to them.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[barbarhow]

He came for the USG and the amnio with Jack. I don't think he came for any with Anna which was fine with me, including the NT, but that's just me. And him-he hates hospitals-I am used to them.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[julieakc]

I voted that DH went to all, but it was really in between the "all" and the "major"....he went to most, but sometimes his schedule didn't work out, but he was definitely there for major ones, and most of the others too.

[denna]

I feel blessed that DH was able to come to ALL of my prenatal appointments and even to all of the NST's once the pregnancy became a higher risk. If DH is able to, I know he will want to come to all of #2's as well.

[deborah_r]

My DH was very happy he came with me for the NT. He liked seeing the baby on the ultrasound. He has gone to both ultrasounds this pregnancy, but no other appointments. He came to more appointments with the first one, but I really don't mind if he doesn't come. Maybe I will ask him to come to some in the final weeks.

[maestramommy]

For Dora Dh came to a couple of appt, but once we were told there weren't going to be any more U/S he figured it was routine and didn't need to come. He did come to the big sonogram. For this kid, he came in the beginning to watch Dora (in the hall), but now I've got a rhythm going so I just take her with me and she's fine wandering around, opening some cabinets. I was going to start having Dh come again because they're doing the cervical checks, but I think I'll just keep her in the stroller and give her a snack trap. That usually holds her for a while.

[Fairy]

It does if they find out why I speak it. Daughter of a med mal atty; know alot of the language. I also made obstetrics something of a hobby for a long time. The kind of language I use isn't that deep. MAC sleep instead of Twilight. CBC instead of blood test. That kind of thing. Usually ;-)

[saschalicks]

I didn't answer b/c I'm not currently pregnant, but DH went to every single appointment w/me for both boys. I really wanted him to be a part of the whole experience both times. I was glad to have him there everytime. Our OB even became very friendly w/him and relied on his input as much as mine. It really felt like we were in it together. If/when we have #3 I'd like DH to come to every appointment, but his job situation is different now and if he can't get away I will TOTALLY understand.

[hez]

DH went to every appointment when I was pg with Payton. We were lucky to be able to schedule the appointments at convenient times for both of us.

He missed one for the pregnancy I m/c'd. I had a few last minute appointments, and it was hard for him to drop his work & come with me.

In general, he's been to nearly every child-related appointment with me. We like it that way, and have been able to make it work. It would be a different story if our jobs weren't flexible enough to allow us to go together.

[August Mom]

During my first pregnancy, DH came to the ultrasound and the non-stress tests. With this pregnancy, he hasn't been to anything.

I would have liked him to have gone to the nuchal translucency test. It was a really good ultrasound. Plus, I met with a genetic counselor first and she was asking lots of questions about the history in DH's family and it would have be helpful for him to have been there.

We didn't get true results until about 5 days after the test, but the tech told us that the measurements were within the normal range at the appointment.

[newnana]

Yep, DH was there when I found out I miscarried- glad he was because there were so many things wrong at that appointment I couldn't have handled it. Just one example being the US tech telling me the baby wasn't alive but writing on the chart that the baby's heartbeat was 160 bpm so that when the doc walked back in was all excited to talk about the good news. Umm, no.

DH was at every appt with DD and now goes to most of her ped appts. Don't know what we'll do if we have a second DC.
Michelle

[Tondi G]

Glad to know we're not the only ones who this happened to! I think my MC's play a very big part in my husband not wanting to try for a #3! He is really scared of going through all of that again. He is a lot more emotional than he lets a lot of people in on!!!!

I hope you have nothing but POSITIVE doctor visits this time around!!!! Good Luck

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/8/01 and Aidan 5/4/05

[mdb78]

This is my first pregnancy and my husband has been to all my OB appts. except for 1 ( the 2nd appt.- and that was because he got tied up at work). Luckily at my OB, we were able to schedule the appts. during my dh lunchbreaks.

[chiqanita]

DH came along to every appointment.
The one appointment he missed, week 36, was due to training he couldn't get out of...that was the appointment where they told me "we're having babies today!" Good thing dh worked about 10 minutes away.

whew