UPDATE #2! What would you do? (kind of long)

[JoyNChrist]

This will take a little while to explain, but I could really use some advice.

Three times a week, I pick my neice, Kaitlin, at daycare. The center is run by a really nice lady, and it seems like a great place. It's always very clean, they have age-appropriate activites, and the staff really seem to care about the kids. Kaitlin loves it.

Recently a family from Pakistan moved into our neighborhood. It's a man and his wife, and they have a 3-year-old daughter named Sascha. Sascha recently started going to Kaitlin's daycare. I haven't had the chance to visit with the family much, but so far they seem like great people (the mom and I have talked a few times when we picked up the kids at the same time).

Well, yesterday when I went to pick up Kaitlin, Sascha ran up to the door and waved at me. I smiled and said hi to her, and then when she went back to play I asked Ms. Sandy (the lady who runs the center) how Sascha was doing (since she's been at the daycare for about two weeks now). She said, "Well, she's doing fine, but her parents are a bit of a pain." I didn't want to gossip, but I said, "What do you mean?" (since, like I said, they seemed like nice people to me). "Well, they're *Muslim*, you know?" "Yeah, so...?" "Well they have all these rules about what Sascha can and can't do. Like, they won't let her eat pork, so they wanted me to serve something different for her on the days I give the kids ham sandwiches. I don't have time for that nonsense. So I just tell them we give her something else. I mean, it's not like it's going to kill the kid to eat ham."

I was shocked. I mean, how intolerant can you be?!? I didn't know how to respond, so I just got Kaitlin and left.

Now, my question is twofold. First, do I say something to Sascha's parents? I don't really know these people, and part of me says it's none of my business. But I really think they deserve to know that their daycare provider isn't caring for their child according to their wishes. (Not to mention that she seems rather prejudiced to me.) I just don't know how to tactfully go about informing them, or if it's even my place to do so.

Second - do I says something to my BIL and SIL about it? Kaitlin loves her daycare, and I have no doubt that she's being treated well there. But if it were me, I don't think I'd be comfortable with my child going there after the director made a comment like that. I mean, if she's hiding something like that from Sascha's parents, who knows if she follows other parents directions, you know?

I just don't know what to do. I was up late last night thinking about it, and I'm still torn. So I could really use some advice.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks everyone for your advice. I knew in my heart I had to say something, but I was really dreading it. Your support makes me feel better. :-)

I ran into Sascha's mom at daycare this afternoon, so I followed her out to her car and asked if she would mind if I stopped by to chat with her and her husband Thursday afternoon (I've been meaning to drop off a "welcome to the neighborhood" gift anyway, so this will give me the chance to do both). So I'm going over there tomorrow - wish me luck!

I did share the incident with BIL and SIL, and unfortunately, they didn't seem to think it was a very big deal. SIL said, "Oh, that's sad...are you going to say something to her parents?" And BIL kind of shrugged and didn't really say anything at all. I kind of got the feeling from him that he thought it was a stupid thing for Sascha's parents to request (another story, which probably belongs in the b!tching forum, so I'll just leave that alone). Neither of them seemed to think that this shed some doubt on DCP's credibility and trustworthiness.

So apparently Kaitlin will remain at the daycare. Not a choice I'd make for my child, but it's out of my hands and none of my business at this point. I think their reasoning is that DCP is only discriminating against the parents' wishes because they're Muslim...so of course DCP isn't going to go against the "good Christian parents' wishes." Grr...but like I said...that's another story and it's none of my business. Sigh...

Wish me luck for tomorrow - I really hope it goes over well and I don't seem too intrusive. It just sucks because they seem like such nice people and I hate that this is happening to them when they're new to the country. If they take it well and decide to pull Sascha from daycare (which I'm sure they will), I may offer to keep her for like a week while they find a new DCP. We'll see how it goes...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

This is like the longest post in history! :-)

Anyway, yesterday's visit went very well. Well, maybe that's not the right way to say it, since they were understandably quite upset, but they were very grateful that I brought it to their attention.

The mom seemed more sad than anything else, while the dad seemed pretty angry about it. He even wanted to know if there were some type of authorities he could report the DCP to - I told him I'd check. But they both thanked me like 20 times. Obviously, they're pulling Sascha from daycare. Her mom was going to take off work today to call around and see what alternatives she can find, and then I may keep Sascha a few days next week while they pick a place.

What's crazy about the whole situation is that they offered to provide Sascha her own lunch if following their dietary guidelines was a problem, but DCP told them not to worry about it, she didn't mind fixing her something different. Crazy!

I'm still a little upset that Kaitlin will continue to go to the daycare. I mean, I can understand my BIL and SIL's decision, since they've been perfectly happy with the place, but it just worries me that DCP isn't (IMO) trustworthy. Oh well...

Anyway, thank you all again for your advice and support. I really appreciate it. Things went as well as could be expected, and I think I may have made some new friends. :-)

[o_mom]

Wow, I'm not really sure what to tell you, but that I agree they need to know. :-(

[elliput]

The world we live in is too small to not understand and appreciate the differences between the people who inhabit it.

Sascha's parents need to know. Would this director have the same approach to a child with allergies or a Jewish child whose family keeps strict kosher? The director's responsibility is to ensure that all children get the highest level of care available, which means listening to, understanding, and following any specific directions of the parents.

[JBaxter]

I would talk to your BIL and SIL because if little Sascha's dietary restrictions are "a pain" what else is "a pain" where your niece is involved. That is SO wrong.

I would also talk to the little girls parents parents that would be the same as not following a Kosher diet for children of Jewish faith.


I usually think of it this way.... Would you want someone to come tell you it was being done to your child? If you faith dictated a diet to follow and someone was delibertly against you wishes feeding him something how ANGRY would you be as a mother?

[tarabenet]

And I'm guessing the daycare provider agreed to attend to Sascha's dietary needs when she agreed to take the child as a client. Sascha's parents believe they are paying a woman they can trust to take care of their precious child. She is not earning that trust. In fact, let's call it what it is: she is lying to those parents about the care she is providing. If she'll lie about Sascha, she'll lie about Kaitlin, too.

Yes, I'd talk to Sascha's parents and I'd tell BIL/SIL too.

[miki]

Ditto. What she is doing is just wrong. I am sure the Muslim girl's parents would not want someone so intolerant and disrespectful of their faith to care for their child. If she found it too inconvenient to provide something besides a ham sandwich, she could have just told the parents ahead of time to bring something else on that day. Or, heck, just don't buy ham as luncheon meat--get some turkey! How simple is that!?

Even if you in-laws are not moved to find a new day care for your niece, at least they would know they they need to be extra vigilant if they ever have special requests, like if they ever need their kid not to eat something or to get a dose of medicine. Who knows what that woman would consider "a pain."

[Sillygirl]

It would be easier if Kaitlin were yours, because you could pull her from the daycare (I agree with the PP that this should happen, because the woman has no morals and is prejudiced to boot) and then you could tell the other family why you pulled her. If BIL and SIL decide to do this, you could still go that route. But if BIL and SIL decide to leave Kaitlin there, I still think you need to tell the other family.

This isn't a Muslim issue, although I'll bet the daycare owner thinks she's striking some sort of righteous blow in retaliation for 9/11. This is a daycare owner with NO respect for her client's parenting philosophies. She really shouldn't be in business.

Don't worry about tact. The owner's statements are jaw-droppingly awful and speak for themselves. Just pass them on.

[KBecks]

Yes, you need to tell Sascha's parents about the conversation, and just relate the facts of what was said, and that you thought they would want to know.

It's not just the ham thing, I would be concerned that this daycare provider *might* discriminate against Sascha and treat her badly in other ways.

Secondly, I would tell your BIL and SIL. As Benet pointed out, they would want to know that the daycare provider is lying to other parents.

Lastly, I would consider reporting this daycare provider to the licensing board in your state.

My only concern, is that the daycare provider will likely know that it is *you* who has informed Sascha's parents, and the licensing board. But.... while it will likely be uncomfortable, I don't think you have anything to be afraid of. You will be doing the right thing. In fact, you could tell the provider straight out that you are telling Sacha's parents, your family and the licensing board.

I'd be intersted to know what others think too. Good luck!

[KBecks]

...although I'll bet the daycare owner thinks she's striking some sort of righteous blow in retaliation for 9/11....
-------------
Maybe, but it could also be a sign that the dcp is lazy, and might be taking other shortcuts that she shoudn't be.

[anamika]

Well, first off, that's beyond outrageous.
We are probably one of those "painful" parents too :) Our DD is raised vegetarian (yes, that means no fish or chicken either - how inconvenient!). My babysitter who watches DD, sometimes has trouble getting this concept. I worry that she will feed DD some meat more out of laziness/ignorance so I always send food with DD when she watches her. It's a small price to pay for raising DD the way I want.
What really bothers me is this woman is lying about something which I know is really important to her parents. MAkes me wonder what other decisions she is making for the parents.
I would definitely, positively want to know if someone fed my DD any meat. And I would also definitely want to know of something like this was going on at her daycare, even if it was with another kid.

[cstack]

I really agree with your previous post about the DCP being lazy. I maen, really, sandwiches are easy pretty much no matter what you're putting on them - how much time would it take to make 1 that's different.

How old is Sascha? She might be old enough to tell her parents she's eating a ham sandwich (or at least that she eats the same thing as all the other kids, as she probably doesn't "know" ham). The DCP would not necessarily know it was Stacey, but that would probably be her first thought.

I agree with all the PPs - I know many parents on here would not dream of feeding their DCs hotdogs, if the DCP was feeding hotdogs, and there was a parental objection to that, would she pull the same crap? It's just wrong to disregard a parent's wishes when it comes to the caring of his or her child - whether they're grounded in religion or personal choice. THe only exception would be a parent whose "preferences" placed the child at risk, but that's a whole other issue.

[Mamma2004]

Stacy, I am so sorry that you find yourself in this awkward position. I am proud of you for speaking up (to us) and for seeking a way to do the right thing.

I fully agree that Sascha's parents need to know about your brief exchange with Ms. Sandy, as to your BIL and SIL. The DCProvider is lazy and unreliable at BEST.

I know it will be uncomfortable but I think the sooner you speak with the family from Pakistan, the better. Whether intentionally or not, Sandy might favor other children over Sascha and that is both wrong and terribly sad for that little girl and her parents.

Best of luck to you, Stacy. Please let us know how it goes.

Stephanie

[Laurel]

The CP essentialy bragged to you about lying to parents about their child's care. What an idiot! I suspect that even if you don't tell the family that they will find out anyway since she is so proud of her transgressions. However, I do agree that you should tell, and you should tip off your in-laws first.

Good luck- I hate stuff like this, but telling is the right thing to do. Keep us updated!

[sdbc]

Our DD is vegetarian also (we provide her meals, but not snack). I would absolutely want to know if a DCP was feeding her meat. I mean, if it happened once by accident, then it's not a big deal. But if the DCP is purposely lying and going against our wishes, that is NOT ok. That is just so heinously disrespectful and idiotic.

You need to tell, and like other posters said, tell your ILs also. I would pull my DD from a preschool if I knew that sort of thing was going on, even if it didn't affect her.

Sorry you are in this situation.

Sue, mommy to Aurora (Rory) born 5/13/04

[mommy111]

How very, very, very sad. I think you absolutely need to tell the parents. They have a right to know what is happening. Not following the parents wishes on something this simple is bad enough, and in itself would warrant telling the parents. I would also be concerned, however, about what else is being done with this child. Is she facing some other kind of subtle discrimination? If my DD were in a daycare where they totally diregarded another parent's wishes, I would totally pull my child! And, like a PP said, I would inform the State authorities.
Thank you for speaking up here. As parents, I think we need to watch out for other parents' kids!

[JacksMommy]

By all means, go ahead and let both parties know. My advice when talking to BIL/SIL would be to do so as nonjudgementally as possible. If someone told me something like that about my kids' daycare (which I love) and they seemed to think I should remove my child), it would be very uncomfortable, since I might not choose to do that (it's pretty hard to find good daycare!)

Just a thought.

Laurel
Mama to Jack 6/02 and Maddy 12/04

Babywearing education in Napa, CA

[ppshah]

I agree that the daycare provider is waaay off. If the parents made a dietary request that she cannot honor, she should have been upfront with them. On the other hand, I do think it is a bit unreasonable for the parents to ask the DCP to make a separate lunch. If they want a "special diet" then they should pack her lunch. When DS was on a GFCF, I packed all of his food. There might be pork in certain foods that is not obvious. For example certain yogurts contain gelatain derived from pork.

[mamicka]

Wow. That's pretty outrageous. I'd be funing on behalf of Sascha's parents. I'd definitely tell them & BIL/SIL & I wouldn't bother to keep it a secret from the DCP. Regardless what the DCP's opinion on how important the parent's request is, the parents get to decide how to raise their child. They don't waive that right because she's in DC.

It's so sad that this kind of attitude exists.

Allison
Surprise #3 due 7/07

[kjezierski]

This just really reminds me of how fortunate we are to have found DS's preschool. Instead of viewing such differences in culture and religion as an opportunity to teach the children about the diversity in our world.

Kathleen
Mommy to Alex
04/29/04

[saschalicks]

Besides the obvious racial and parental lack of respect this woman is doing she stated "the parents were a pain." For what reason? Oh they want to raise thier child in their faith. Wow I just cannot imagine what other parents wishes are a "pain" to her.

My DCP hatee that I insisted on DS2 getting cold milk. It's what he liked at home and I insisted on it. It's minor but it's what I did and I wanted consistency. She constantly wondered if DS2's allergy issues and cough were due to cold milk (old wive's tail). I know she respected my wishes b/c of her constantly asking me about it. I didn't care. She always said I was the parent, I made the choices.

I think that when we take our children to these places we are entrusting their care to someone else. I think you have to say something to both parties here. I think that the basic issue here is that you found out that this woman is not adhering to a parent's care instructions.

Stacy, I'm so sorry that you are put in this position, but as a mom I'm sure you know that there are so many tough decisions to be made. People decided to trust this woman and she's not trustworthy. Good luck whatever you decide.

[wilelm]

Absolutely tell the parents. I'm not Muslim, but my husband's family is, and that is something that is VERY important to them.

I cannot believe how inconsiderate and ignorant that woman is.

Sheila

[scoop22]

i would want to know if it were my child. it is tough thinking of the right way to do it. i wouldn't be able to keep this a secret of anyone. i would tell the family and BIL/SIL. then it is up to them how they would like to deal with it. good luck. it's a tough position to be in
http://b2.lilypie.com/XbITm4.png

[Tondi G]

I agree with everyone else. If nothing else I would definetly be letting Sascha's parents know about her eating HAM when she is not supposed to be given pork products! Thats really wrong and not such a hard thing to deal with. Does she find it "difficult" when parents ask that she reapply sunscreen to their children? God forbid she ends up with a child with peanut allergies!

~Tondi

[JustMe]

What an awful situation on many levels.

Yes, definitely tell your bil and sil. I cannot imagine NOT wanting to know this as a parent.

As a vegetarian, this really horrifies me as well. How scary. Care providerst that were not willing to accommodate dd's dietary needs have been upfront with me about it. I have never had to pack dd's lunch, as I have never had a problem finding care providers that were willing to accommodate me. Gee, are there no vegetarians in this day care? I guess not.

I think it is tricky about telling Sascha's parents. It is such an awful thing. Of course, they should know. Of course I would be so greatful if someone told me if something like this had happened to my family for whatever reason....the issue for me would depend somewhat on bil's and sil's reaction. If they want to continue to leave their dd at this place, they may fear repercussions or that they would be asked to leave if dcp found out that you told the other parents. It seems highly unlikely this would happen, but not impossible. Then the question is do you honor their feelings if they go against what you think is right? I guess I would just start by talking with them about what happened, and see their reaction. Hopefully, it will be one you can feel good about and not feel torn about what to do.

I personally would want to report what happened to any relevant parties. I dont know if the program has a USDA food program in place (the govt reimburses the program for food in such programs). If they do, there are definite ways to make a complaints about discrimination. That is big, of course, and as someone else said this would be so much easier if Kaitlin was your child.

good luck,

Robyn

[kijip]

Yowza. I would tell your BIL and SIL. I would also tell Sascha's parents ASAP. They have a reasonable expectation that if the director is telling them she gets halal foods that they are providing, that she is. I would be extremely upset if my son's school was so cavalier about food constraints...what else are they lax about following the parent's wishes on? If the director does not want to bother with separate foods, she needs to be honest with the parents so they can find a different/better provider for them.

Depending on the laws in your state, what she is doing could be illegal.

[Bean606]

Wow! That is a bind. What a dilemma! I think I would definitely tell BIL and SIL but try to do it in a way that doesn't make them feel like you think they should remove their child from the day care, in case they aren't as appalled as you are. I would be horrified, not only because of the prejudice factor, but as you say, because who knows what they are hiding from other parents!!! I don't know if you should say anything to Sascha's parents. I don't see why this woman couldn't just tell Sascha's parents that they should bring Sascha's own meals if they don't like what she is serving because she won't make a special meal for her. Ugh!

[Sillygirl]

Hoping to hear that little girl's faith is being respected. . .

[Fairy]

I agree. Sascha's parents absolutely need to know, and I'd tell your BIL and SIL, as well. The very observant of a faith's kosher laws are likely to be horrified to know that their child has been purposely denied that observance. Mistakes happen, but purposeful misdirection for wahtever reason is unacceptable, and the fact that it's intolerance is a big warning flag for everyone. Hope it all works out.

[Globetrotter]

Wow, this is outrageous! You know, she had the nerve to tell you about it, so I wouldn't worry too much about spilling the beans.

For a practicing Muslim, the no pork rule is a very serious matter. They need to know about it so they can choose a provider who shows respect for their traditions. I would also worry that she isn't respecting their wishes in other things. My kids are vegetarian, and I would be very upset if someone *purposely* gave them something non-vegetarian and then went around bragging about it. It wasn't an honest mistake. WOW. I'm sure this was the understanding when they signed up at that place, so the provider should have told them upfront that they had to provide their own lunch.

I would tell your BIL and SIL, but in a casual way so they don't feel bad if they decide to stay on. I know it is really hard to find childcare, so that's their decision, you know? Personally, I feel something like this is a red flag about other things.


Kris

[Kungjo]

It really worries me that the DCP would make a comment about the parents being Muslim. What does that have to do with anything? If Sascha's parents requested that she not be fed pork, then she shouldn't have been fed pork. If the DCP can't or isn't willing to fulfill the request then she had no business agreeing to take Sascha. Yes, feeling her pork won't kill her, but it goes strictly against her parents' wishes. I wouldn't be comfortable with a DCP that doesn't respect the parents' wishes, lies to the parents outright, and gossips to another person about deliberately not honoring the parents' requests. If such a thing happened at my DCP, I would want to know about it as well.

Your BIL and SIL and Sascha's parents need to know. I don't think that it's right for the DCP to agree to do something that the parents request and then not do it. What else is she not doing because she's too lazy?

It's a tough situation. Good luck and keep us updated.

[ShanaMama]

Ya know what strikes me after reading through all the responses? Ms. Sandy doesn't seem too bright. First she tells the parents she'll respect their wishes, then she blatantly disregards their wishes, & then she brags about it to you. How does she think your going to react? Besides for the obvious choice of whether to tell Sascha's parents, most of us had the same reaction: If she's betraying their trust that way, who knows what else she's doing. Does she not realize that you are going to draw that conclusion?
Bottom line: She is prejudiced (sp?) & not trustworthy. Definitely tell your BIL & SIL, leave the decision up to them whether to pull K out. And definitely tell the Pakistani family. I'm sure they'll be horrified to hear what she's doing, but very appreciative that you told them.

[MarisaSF]

Good for you, Stacy. Good luck with the meeting on Thursday.

Your BIL and SIL's reactions are unfortunate. You did the right thing by telling them though. If you had told me the same about my child's DCP, I would have been furious, pulled her out asap, *and* told other parents about why we were pulling DD out. Ms. Sandy does not sound like a "really nice lady" at all. x(

[JustMe]

Good luck tomorrow. Its great that you will be able to have this talk with them in a more comfortable setting.

Too bad your bil and sil didn't have a better reaction, but at least they are not telling you what to do and not do about the situation.

Robyn

[Mamma2004]

Good for you, Stacy. Best of luck this afternoon!

Stephanie

[scoop22]

i wish i had you in my neighborhood!!!! you seem like such a caring person. good luck today. and remember if it doesn't work out the way you thought it would you did the right thing. you tried to help where it needed it. i am sorry BIL/SIL don't see it your way but you gave the info needed and it is their choice. of course we are all waiting for another update on the visit today.
http://b2.lilypie.com/XbITm4.png

[kcgirl]

Here's a different look on this -- Perhaps she said something to you because she WANTS you to say something to the Pakistan family. Maybe she's hoping they WILL pull their child out?

Please update us on your conversation with them. I think we're all waiting to hear what happens.

[KBecks]

Well, I can understand BIL/SIL. They are happy with the daycare and don't think this problem affects them. At least they might be slightly more alert to potential problems down the road, knowing another family had some. And if your niece is doing well, I can understand them not wanting to mess with it.

I hope your conversation with your neighbors goes well. I think if you are simple and straightforward about it, things will be fine. Just like your BIL and SIL, it will be up to them to work out how they want to deal with the information.

Again, good for you for making this known so the parents of both children are informed about their dcp's practices.

Karen

[maestramommy]

Good luck Stacey! I think whatever happens Sascha's parents will appreciate what you're doing.

[mdb78]

Good luck! Its a good thing what you are doing. Hopefully everything will work out well.

[Kungjo]

Glad that you were able to talk to BIL and SIL. Too bad that they're not pulling Kaitlin from there. Good luck with you your visit tomorrow.

[crAbbymom]

I've been wondering...:)

[crAbbymom]

Thanks for the update! My curiosity knows no bounds! (insert embarassed smilie here)

I'm glad you made some new friends, it's just so sad that they had to deal with this. I can't believe the DCP did that at all, let alone after they offered to pack Sascha's lunch!

[Sillygirl]

Good for you for following through - that was the right thing to do and it shows strength of character.

The family may wish to contact the Arab-American Anti-Discrimination Committee; I'm sure they would be a good resource if they wish to make a report to authorities. Here's the link: http://www.adc.org/

I am kind of surprised that your BIL and SIL are okay with keeping their daughter there, since the woman is a flat-out liar. But I hope for your niece's sake that the provider doesn't decide their family is a "problem" next.

[SnuggleBuggles]

How awful for Sascha's parents. I can't believe the DCP turned down the offer for his parents to bring food then did that. It has to feel good to know you did the right thing. Good for you for following through!

Beth

[trumansmom]

You did a good thing. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[maestramommy]

That is totally bizarre. Why would the DCP turn down their offer to bring their own food, then lie? Are they paying extra for food service? Anyway, I'm glad the family is pulling their kid. Now pat yourself on the shoulder for providing a community service. :-)

[sdbc]

You did the right thing. The family should wait before they say anything to DCP, in case it takes a while to find new daycare. There are always waiting lists in our area.
Sue, mommy to Aurora (Rory) born 5/13/04

[scoop22]

wow.. i feel for the family. you did such a good thing. i hope things work out for everyone!!
http://b2.lilypie.com/XbITm4.png

[Sillygirl]

I know that many daycares in my area would try very hard to make room if they heard that story. I can't imagine the family would leave Sascha there for a single minute more.

[JustMe]

You handled this so well! As far as notifying authorities, in my state, we have a child care division, and that's one of the "authorities" this could be reported too. I'm not sure if its the same everywhere. You could try looking at your state's web page and search for child care division or just plan 'ole child care if nothing comes up for the first.

Also, if the dcp receives any reimbursment from the govt for food, you can file a complaint with the USDA. The centers have these forms and I am not sure how your new friends could get one if they dont want to ask the center. I think the red cross administers the program at least in my state, so you can ask at your local red cross. I am pretty sure they would take this seriously.

If you can't find any info you could just call whatever your state's version of child protective services/child welfare is. They probably wouldnt be the people who would take the actual complaint, but they would know who does.

Thanks for standing up for people.

Robyn

[Fairy]

Stacy, I'm so glad things went well with Sascha's parents. You did the right thing, and in the end, it's going to work out well for them. If you talk to them again, you might want to recommend a Jewish Community Center (JCC) or a culturally Jewish center; in Chicago there's a JCYS (Jewish Council for Youth Services), but I'm not sure if they're national. They take dietary kosher laws very seriously, and alot of them coincide with Muslim dietary guidelines. When I worked for one, we had a few vegeterian families -- this was a long time ago, not now that it's pretty mainstream -- and they went out of their way to be sure that those children were taken care of. Of course, each individual center is only as good as its director, but their general approach is that dietary requirements of the parents are important.

As for your niece, I'm sorry SIL/BIL don't see an application of this issue to their daughter, but you can only do what you can do. Lead the horse to water, and then it's up to them. Frustrating, I know.

Nice job on this, you should feel really good about yourself, Stacy.

-- Hil

ps -- NOT the longest post in history. Buhleeve me.

[overcome]

Wow...this is disturbing. I'm glad you told the parents so they were made aware. I am sure they are so appreciative.

I didn't read all the posts, but I just want to chime in...I was having issue with the snacks my DCP was serving so I started sending my own. I was discussing this with my colleagues in the faculty room and a student teacher was in there. She said when she worked in a daycare the same thing happened and they told the parents they would not serve the kid the junky snacks, but they did anyway...how would the parent know. I was appalled.

People are unbelievable.

[tylersmama]

Just had to say that you did an AMAZING job of handling the situation! There's no way that I would have been able to deal with it nearly as well as you did. Good job!

[Globetrotter]

"What's crazy about the whole situation is that they offered to provide Sascha her own lunch if following their dietary guidelines was a problem, but DCP told them not to worry about it, she didn't mind fixing her something different. Crazy! "

No kidding. That makes it even worse! GEEZ. Kudos to you for bringing it to their attention! At least you tried with BIL, though I can't understand why this wouldn't bother them (the fact that DCP was lying to parents, for one thing).

Kris

[MamaMolly]

Yay! I'm so proud of you! I think her parent's are glad to have such a nice neighbor.

Fingers crossed that they will have good luck finding another child care provider that can respect thier wishes.

[mommy111]

Stacy,
So proud of you for doing the right thing!!! Its mommies like you that make me a proud member of this community!
Ady