Borrowing Baby Gear

[zephyr]

I was wondering if there are any rules when you borrow someone else's baby gear....also a couple questions:

1. What happens if you damage the product?
2. How do you ask someone you'd like to borrow something their child is no longer using? I am kind of shy about stuff like this but would like to do it anyways since baby stuff can get SO expensive!!!
3. Also would it be okay to ask someone if they would like to trade baby gear even though they've never mentioned it. TIA.

[pb&j]

1. You offer to replace it with a new item.

2. Unless it was my best friend or my sister, I probably wouldn't.

3. Yes, but be prepared to back off if they're anything less than completely enthusiastic about the deal.


-Ry,
mom to Max the one year old
and my girl in heaven

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/37124.gif

[hillview]

So I have lent and borrowed. My rules (which are just mine so to each his own):
- return in similar (although some wear is expected) condition, if I ruined it I'd either replace or offer to replace or send a gift cert (unless it was my sister and she said she didn't care and meant it)
- I have gotten and given a little gift (like a cup of coffee treat) when loaned/borrowed
- I'd ask to borrow if I knew someone well and give them an easy out: like "I totally understand that you might want to keep this for your next child/sister etc" or something along those lines
- W/R/T a trade ... I guess it would depend if you think there is something "in it" for them ... like someone just had a second child and you want to trade your double stroller for their jogging stroller etc

GOOD LUCK!
/hillary

[kep]

>1. What happens if you damage the product?

I would offer to replace the item. If someone borrowed something of mine, I would have no problem with normal wear and tear, but if something was obviously mistreated or accidentally broken, I would expect that they would offer to replace the item. (I would probably turn their offer down, thanking them but politely declining, but I would really appreciate that they thought to offer.) Also, I do not lend out anything I would be heartbroken to never see again.

>2. How do you ask someone you'd like to borrow something their
>child is no longer using? I am kind of shy about stuff like
>this but would like to do it anyways since baby stuff can get
>SO expensive!!!

I agree with the PP, I probably wouldn't ask, unless it was a *really* close friend of a family member. (I'm not above admiring their gear/lightly hinting ("Wow, that is a teriffic baby bath tub! I'm looking for one right now, too. Did you like it?"), but I would never ask.

>3. Also would it be okay to ask someone if they would like to
>trade baby gear even though they've never mentioned it.

I don't see what the harm of asking would be, as long as the items are of similiar value and in similiar condition. They can always say no, right? ;)


Kelli

Proud Mommy to Lukey (2003). Weaned after 3 years of happy nursing!
And Mommy to our newest baby, Joseph, born 3 days after Christmas.

[lisams]

1. Replace with a new one or similar quality one. I've lent stuff out that has been returned damaged and it stinks that I had to buy brand new ones for our second child. Sure they saved money but it sucked for me.

2. I wouldn't. I'd recommend checking out second hand baby stores for a good deal.

3. Again, I wouldn't, or if I did I would just mention it and then if they don't bring it up I'd let it drop.

[Fairy]

I borrowed absolutely nothing. For me, once I have something, I'm not giving it back. That's just me. It was my first child, probably my only child, I get very attached to *things* and don't want to be in the position of a) being in a position of having to part with something that means alot to me because of the association it has with my DS, or b) having that thing come to inevitably worse condition than when it was lent to me.

A friend -- one of my best friends from childhood -- insisted, absolutely INSISTED, that I take her crib she used for her two kids and that it would mean so much to her if my DS used it. I was honest and said, i really wanted a brand new crib for DS but thank you so much. She said, there's gotta be somewhere you can use it, how about your parents' house? I know my friend has a very nasty habit of giving gifts and then asking for them back for herself or other people if she thinks it's no longer being used to her level of usesfulness. I said, look, <what I said above> and so if you give this to me, you may never have it back. Ever. She said I get it totally, please take the crib. I said ok, thank you. My parents never got around to putting it together, and lo and behold, she asked for it back for a co-worker within a year.We had a nasty fight about it.

THIS is why I don't like borrowing things from anyone nor lending them if I can avoid it. It transcends baby things, but that stuff is often most sought. We just gave my SIL and BIL our infant seat and stroller frame and have no intentions of ever seeing it again. We GAVE them to them with happiness that they'd find a good home.

So, after this ramble, how does this help you at all when you're trying to save money? Probably not much. I'd just say that borrowing important things like baby items can be a really double-edged sword, so be careful, take extremely good care of the things, and get it straight right up front if they expect these things back and in what condition they're expected.

Try eBay for stuff on the cheap. There really are amazing deals out there if you look hard enough!

-- Fairy

[MeAndMyStar]

I agree with most of what you said, Fairy. For example, we don't need our high chair anymore and I offered it to a friend. She insisted on giving me *something* for it so I happily took the money. I never expect to get anything back. And if it's something sentimental I don't let anyone borrow it.

Maybe I'll get more relaxed with this whole borrowing issue with any future children, but for now, if I let a friend "borrow" my baby gear/clothes I pretty much say goodbye to the stuff. That way, if I don't get the item back or it gets destroyed, no biggie.

[kijip]

Babies barf on things. Wear and tear happens. I never lend things out- I give them away or I sell them. I am sure that when we have a second baby we will get close friends who give us things they are no longer using. Likely, some of those things will be things I gave to them, LOL. But it all goes around in one big circle. Since they are given and not lent if they break etc it is no biggie.

With the exception of a car seat if you drive, pretty much all the gear is optional. I am sure you will be able to get the things you really want for free from close friends or cheaply used.

[denna]

(1) Like PP's have said I would replace it (knowing me I would probably INSIST on replacing it) or giving them the $$$, etc.

(2) I would not ask to borrow something unless it was a VERY close friend or a family member. I know that Im a reliable person and would try my hardest to return the gear the way I received it (wear & tear and accidents aside).

(3) I would offer a trade if you think there is something you have that they could find useful.

Good luck, like a pp mentioned this is a shaky ground.

[emilyf]

I'm not a borrower/lender either, but I did give away all my baby stuff and was happy to do so. You can check freecycle for free stuff or craigs list for used stuff in you area. If it's a close friend/relative I would go ahead and ask if they have anything they are getting rid of, I wouldn't be offended by that type of question. I have a friend who lent me all her daughter's clothes, and I have returned all of them for her to try and consign, but made sure she knew that not everything would come back in perfect condtion-she's fine with that and enjoys seeing my dd in her daughter's old things. I gave her all my boy stuff, and don't want anything back-I'd rather not deal with it/think about it again.
Emily mom of Charlie born 11/02 and Zoe born 9/05

[brittone2]

ITA w/ the PPs.

If I damaged something, I would absolutely replace it. THere are things I have given or loaned to friends though but have flat out said (and meant) not to worry about returning it in similar condition, etc. Right now I have some clothes to pass along to some friends, and if they are still wearable when their child is done, I'd be happy to have them back. But I won't lend out anything or give away anything that I"m particularly attached to getting back in the same condition.

I won't ask unless they offer. I don't have a sister, but if I did, maybe I'd ask her, but that's about it. Ditto for a trade. I probably wouldn't unless they would be on the winning end (like the PP said, giving them a nice double stroller so I could borrow their single).

I agree w/ Katie that if you want to save money, your best bet is to just skip a lot of the unnecessary baby gear that is out there (there is a whole lot of it!!!!). You can also do really well at consignment sales/stores, craiglist, etc. but then you have to be very cautious about recalled equipment, and I wouldn't use anything more than a few years old (and not a used carseat unless I knew the giver personally).

[Radosti]

I have lent a few things and always expect them back. I've gotten them back so far and wouldn't hesitate to ask for them back if they weren't given back. Especially since I always expressly state it's for borrowing only. If they break it, they replace it.

I gave my slings and the bundle me to my SIL, I expect them back. My bundle me has already been lent out to a friend and has come back. That thing cleans up extremely well, so I'm not worried.

My DS was in size 4 diapers for only a month, had a huge growth spurt and is now almost out of size 5 diapers (not weight wise, just the way they fit him). I am notorious for stock-piling diapers, so had 4 cases of cruisers size 4. My neighbor is on her last kid and she got everything brand new for him because she gave everything away previously thinking that she was done. Her son is 2 months younger, so I offered her the size 4 diapers for free. She was really happy to have them. She kept insisting on paying me for them, but I kept declining. She finally asked if I would like her baby papasan swing (for the next kid) since her son was already out of it. I already have a swing, but often wished I had one on each floor for DS. So, I gladly took it and thanked her profusely.