"Help for my picky eater/low weight child" thread!

[deborah_r]

Spinning off from the thread Traci started, there seemed to be some interest in discussing how to feed kids who are on the opposite end of the spectrum, who don't have much interest in food at all, and certainly not "healthy" food. DS would live on fruit snacks if I let him! Literally.

Rachels had posted some info a long time ago with great tips on bulking up snacks and meals - it's been on my fridge forever. (I'll see if I can find it and add it to this thread).

I've fallen into a rut that I bet a lot of others have. I "knew" when he was younger I should put what we were eating in front of him and if he didn't eat he didn't eat. But with him being so small, I would worry and then offer him whatever I knew he would eat. Bread & butter, PB&J, Mac & cheese. But now I know the error of my ways, because he is still so tiny (about 36" tall, 28 lbs at almost 4 years old) sp my offering him what I knew he would eat obviously didn't help him bulk up.

But then I wonder, would he just be this size no matter what? Possibly. But I do feel guilty because I know we haven't always kept up the effort to get him to eat healthy foods. Like he will eat the yogurt that has sugar in it, and not plain yogurt with fruit added, so I will just give him the sugary yogurt (Yo-baby or Activia, lately - he also loves Go-gurt, which I'm sure is total crap). But when it comes down to knowing he won't eat the one and he will eat the other, it's hard not to give in.

Awhile back, the best advice my ped could offer was to offer him Pediasure. That didn't seem like a real solution to me, although we tried it a little while. I haven't really been involving his ped in this problme, but it will be a topic at his 4 year appointment in a couple weeks.

So anyway, I'll open this up for discussion, and see if others have questions about their picky eater or their low weight child.

[brittone2]

I waver between worrying about my DS and not worrying. It can be tough. He's 3 years, 2 months and hovering at 30lbs. He isn't necessarily picky (well, pickier than he was when he was younger, but not terribly picky in general). He just would happily exist on air if he could ;)

Rachel's list was awesome, as you mentioned. I don't have it handy so this is probably repetitive, but here are some things we do:

-Add butter/oil to pretty much anything
-use cream in place of milk (so if he likes mac and cheese, you can add yogurt, butter and cream to this if using the boxed stuff. If making your own, you can also use cream instead of butter. DS won't go for it, but I like peas in my mac and cheese. A little extra protein.)
-coconut milk (we buy organic canned...no other weird stuff in there ingredient wise) is fatty and good in smoothies, curries, you can cook rice in it (basmati especially). You can use it to make popscicles by blending with some fruit in a blender and freezing.
-we make our own ice cream from milk, cream, sugar, egg yolk and vanilla
-unrefined virgin coconut oil can go on toast for a different taste than butter, although of course that won't work if he doesn't like coconut.
-for kids eating nuts, you can do all sorts of different nut butters for variety. Almond, cashew, peanut, tahini.

-when he's going through times of more restricted eating and not getting a lot of variety, I'll bring out a snack tray (some people use it regularly). We fill a muffin tin with different little snacks. You can get all kinds of variety in there and a lot of kids find it appealing. DS asked for a snack tray for breakfast this morning and wanted chicken in it (I had some precooked chicken in the fridge). So in his snack tray I put:
walnuts, pine nuts, a few small slices of a plum, 2 strawberries, some chopped cubed cold chicken, one water cracker broken in half with tahini in the middle, a few orange sections. Oh, and one little square of whole grain toast with peanut butter (cut off of my piece of toast this morning).

Small amounts but he likes being able to sample a whole bunch of different things. There are several old MDC threads on this idea with loads of ideas for things to put in there (pieces of hardboiled egg, cheese, raisins or other dried fruit, grapes, nuts, little sandwiches from quartered bread, defrosted frozen veggies like peas or corn, canned beans, etc. I find sometimes he'll sample things he might not have if offered in a more traditional way. Weird, but I do think it gets more variety into him when he's not eating a diverse number of things.

I wonder if you could give him the sugary yogurt, but just start gradually mixing in some plain with it. He's old enough you'd have to be sly though ;) Can you dump out a little of the regular sugared stufff and stir in an equal amount of plain? I wonder if you gradually did this if he'd get used to at least halving the amount of sugar? Will he eat yogurt with something like maple syrup? Again, at least you can gradually decrease the amount of sweetener he's getting.

What things does he eat most? Maybe we can all brainstorm some ideas and see if we can figure out ways to modify it in some way.

Always looking for ideas here too :)

[kelly ann]

We have struggled with DS being a picky eater ever since we introduced finger foods. We have even had therapists try to help us (OT concerns) without any help - until recently.

A speech therapist we used for the last year (just finished up with her) decided to take up his eating habits as part of her goals. The first thing she picked up on was that DS was very anxious when it came to meal time. So, the first thing she asked us to do was let him eat anything he wanted for a week or two at dinner (what were called his preferred foods). This was really hard for me, but it started put him at ease when it came to dinner time. Also, we started involving him in setting the table and would try to have pleasant dinner time conversation. I know this sounds odd, but after years of struggling with DS at the dinner table we needed to create a new dinner time experience free of the pressure and stress.

We also did some food-chaining (similar to Beth's idea with the yogurt) to help him start to drink juice. Started with strawberry milk, moved to milkshakes, then smoothies, and finally juice. What was odd was that he would drink juice at school, but never around us. Also, he would eat peas (in a casserole) at school, but gag on them at home.

We have come a long way in the last year, but he is still quite picky. His only consistent veggies are potatoes and the only fruit is banana. Therefore, I will be watching this thread for more ideas :)

Even so, his latest conquests are ravioli filled with spinach and cheese and spaghetti squash. I guess there is still hope he will branch out and eat other veggies. In the meantime, I am just hoping his vitamin fills in the gaps and I am more conscious about his anxiety regarding mealtime.

Hope this helps a little.

[Emmas Mom]

Thanks for starting this Deborah! I have 2 very picky eaters & both are low on the weight chart. Our youngest seems to boycott food & only wants milk & is now on a daily laxative...I really want to get her regulated with some "normal" & healthy food but can't seem to find much of anything she'll eat consistently. I swear the other day if she had 1/2 a cup of food all day I'd be surprised. Their pediatrician isn't worried but since he's not with them all day it's easy for him.

I've also been told to try Pediasure but am worried about the sugar content. Of course our oldest will go for anything sweet but that's not really what I want her eating all the time.

Beth, I'm hoping you'll post your Oatmeal recipe & smoothie ideas. I don't want to copy/paste since they're yours.

[almostamom]

We have a picky eater/carb lover here. DS does not eat beef, fish, pork, or poultry. We are not vegetarians; he just won't eat it. He would be very happy to live on fruit snacks as well. We initially tried them just so he would have to chew something. It seemed like he would only eat things that would dissolve easily in his mouth and didn't require a lot of chewing (crackers, waffles, pancackes, cereal). Basically, if it's a bread-type product, he'll eat it. He was eating broccoli dipped in ketchup for awhile, but that has ended. He will not eat any type of pasta. He will eat raisins, grapes, and apples if he's in the right mood. He ate all kinds of meats, fruits, and veggies as an infant, but they were pureed and he wants no part of that now. We're working with our OT on this right now. We started with a small piece of chicken at yesterday's session. He wanted nothing to do with it. She's having me bring in more chicken and syrup next week. In the meantime, she's consulting some specialists she knows for some other ideas.

FWIW, my nephew was an even pickier eater than DS is. For what must have been years, he only ate pancakes, pizza, and spaghetti. He's now almost 11 and is a healthy eater. In fact, I offered to go grab him some fast food the other day, but he wanted Grandma's leftover pot roast, carrots, and potatoes instead. There is hope.

Linda

[lovin2shop]

The picky eating is a regular struggle for us as well. When Drew was a toddler, we worked on the texture issues early on with a speech therapist, and for our case, I really can't say that the appointments themselves helped much for Drew. But, I'm glad that we focused on it a lot back then, because those foods that he learned he to like then are the nutritious staples now. Now that he is in school, sports, going to parties, etc. it is tough to keep the only likes from turning into junk (especially when your DH is one of the worst offenders at introducing it!). But early on, we got him to eat things like yogurt, avocado, salsa and breakfast tacos (strange, I know, but he's my little native Texan, I guess). And since he is so resistant to trying new things, he will not eat candy, drink punch, etc. But, there is no way to get to get doughnuts or cake passed him! Anyway, I've tried really hard to not let food become a battle because I learned early on that it is one battle that I would lose. I got the guilt speech from my Ped at his 2yr appt that he would eat eventually and that I should just offer him a variety of foods and not cater to his few likes. After a few days of "trying to take back control", we ended up back at the Ped's office because he had the shakes really bad and his blood sugar levels were a mess from not eating for so long. I will never again try to force a way of eating on him.

It takes A LOT of energy dealing with extremely picky eaters and I really wonder if he will ever grow out of it. But, I wanted to offer up one suggestion that has really helped this year - cooking classes! He does a weekly class at Young Chef's Academy and loves it. It is kind of pricey, but I look at it as therapy in a way. I can't get him to try everything that he makes, but he will try things occassionally and has even started to eat pasta as a result. Hallelujah, a small victory!

[tny915]

Here's Rachel's thread.

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=86&topic_id=43966&mode=full

I don't have new advice, just commisseration. DD is incredibly picky and we recently had some dinnertime battles trying to get her to try more foods. On the advice of the boards, I picked up Ellyn Satter and we're now just going with the flow. If she has a glass of milk and half a strawberry for dinner, so be it. When I adopted this approach, DD actually took great joy in taking just a single bite of food and announcing with a smile that she was full. Now, some days she'll eat a good amount, other days she'll hardly eat at all, and everyday she has just the same handful of staples that she feels comfortable with.

I outgrew my pickiness to a degree, so that's what I tell myself in hopes that DD will do the same. I try to put some of our food on her plate every night, alongside some fruit or veggie puffs, both of which she'll generally eat. At the very least, she'll leave the table with a belly full of milk, without having touched anything else. I'm learning to be okay with that.

I know Beth already posted her smoothie recipe in the other thread, but I'll post mine here anyway. I make one everyday for myself and DD, although lately she's lost interest. No measuring involved, just a handful of this, a few spoonfuls of that.

This is my base:
- 1 whole banana
- a few handfuls of frozen berries. You can use fresh but I prefer to include a least some frozen and thaw them overnight to let the juices come out. I use strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, marionberries. You can get huge bags from Costco.
- plain yogurt
- a small carton of flavored yogurt, again Kirkland brand from Costco
- splash of juice, generally OJ, but I've used carrot, tangerine, and lately am using Naked Juice brand mixed fruit smoothies, since it was on sale. I'm using Purple Machine this week.

My variations:
-a few raw spinach leaves are indetectable in taste, although DD does sometimes question the "salad" that she sees in the cup
-a spoonful or two of powdered nonfat milk for extra calories for DD
-leaving out the flavored sweetened yogurt. The taste is more tart without it.

Beth's and others' variations that I've seen
-probiotics
-flax seed oil
-avocado
-kale
-milk

[kfk]

I have a happy to eat (though not broccoli and spinach) big guy Jake (90% height/80% weight) and a picky, would rather play or just drink milk and eat cookies little guy Zac (25% height/10% weight). It's hard to balance their needs.

My strategies (besides trying not to stress when he inexplicably decides he doesn't like something he used to, e.g., grapes) include:

Reading stories at meals--they eat at their little table and chairs in the kitchen for lunch and dinner. I sit with them on the couch at breakfast.

He always drinks his milk (we actually have been told to limit it to 3 cups a day).

He is usually a really good eater in the morning, so I can count on bfast of vans multigrain waffles w/earth balance and maple syrup, 1/2 banana.

He usually is a good am snacker as well, so I try to offer something with protein, like cheese, along with our usual diaper bag snack mix of o's/raisins/goldfish. Sometimes I can convince him to eat my apple.

I try to be ok with the fact that he won't usually eat lunch, other than guzzling his milk. So if he's accepted a few bites of one item (often a favored fruit, like strawberries, or avocado), but isn't interested in the other foods on his plate, I'll just keep feeding the thing he's accepted.

Often he will eat a good pm snack (esp. if lunch was minimal). I almost always offer yogurt (he'll only eat vanilla), a healthy cereal and fruit.

Dinner is always hit or miss (other than the milk, which is chugged). These days I've managed to get him to eat hamburger if it's drenched in ketchup. Also scrambled eggs. He won't touch a veggie. Sometimes he'll eat pasta, or grilled cheese or quesadilla. I use a lot of cheese, butter, etc., on any carb item to make the calories count.

We do have "dessert" almost every night, right before bath time. It's relatively tame, e.g., graham crackers, or teddy grahams. But I figure he can use the extra carbs.

Sometimes my lunch or breakfast is appealing. So if he's eating lightly I'll try and eat in front of him and offer a bite.

He loves to see what I'm cooking, and to try and help (though 2 toddlers in the kitchen is tricky). Pancakes are a hit because I let the boys help stir and see the batter at every step of adding ingredients. I add wheat germ to bump up the nutrition.

Finally, although we don't do it often (budget), he does like to eat out. And he will eat things out that he won't eat at home (e.g. rice and beans from our favorite taqueria).

[barbarhow]

I've known adults who as kids would only eat four different foods. I try very hard to not worry about my picky eater and his lack of variety. Now at 4 years old he only weighs 34lbs and is about 75th percentile for height. Both of my kids are very, very lean. I was a pudgeball as a kid so it is kind of strange to see these two skinny kids. They are happy and healthy so the majority of the time I just trust that they are getting what they need.
I stopped making them special meals. They get (for the most part) what we get. I always make sure that they like one of the components. For instance, last night we had grilled chicken, rice and brocolli. A-loves the brocolli and rice-won't touch the chicken. Jack will only eat the chicken. I try not to fuss. They love fruit.
Jack is only recently starting to drink cows milk. He was dairy allergic for his first 3 years so it is anew taste for him. I add alot of butter to stuff but will taper that off soon. I also follow/followed Rachels guidelines from way back. I've given up trying to "fatten" my kids up and have come to accept that they are just lean.
I wrote alot but didn't seem to say alot....
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[JustMe]

Dd is also 4. She weighs 31 lbs and hmmn, I think is probably about 38" right now. She is about in the 3rd and 5th percentile for height and weight. She is NOT a picky eater at all and eats tons more than anyone would guess. Her food is pretty healthy, we eat lots of veggies, so I know she would be eating more calories if she ate more junk food, but I am not willing to do that. I could probably make more of an effort to concentrate on higher calorie healthy food, but I do not change her diet at all just because she is relatively low weight for her age. I think she is just meant to be like that.

I think some of the advice given in the other related, but opposite thread, apply here. IMHO, give your child a healthy amount of healthy food and unless something seems to be off about their health don't stress too much. I do think good fats are especially important for low weight (and high weight for that matter) kids. Dd loves avocado, and I that's one thing I probably do more of than if she was more in the average range. I personally wouldnt do pediasure unless there seemed to be a real medical reason to do so...

One more thing...for me, healthy doesnt mean perfect. I am okay with dd having occasional "junk", candy, boxed food that I am not thrilled with, etc.

Robyn

[miki]

I'm in the middle of reading this book: http://tinyurl.com/3xvh54
So far, it hasn't really been a guide for things you can do to encourage your kid to eat a wider variety of food. It does go through many studies that indicate that being a picky eater and not liking vegetables is a natural part of development for around 75% of all kids. This stage of being pickiy starts around 2 and goes on until 7-10 years of age. As the kids grow older, most become more willing to try new things and eat things they previously would not. Kids naturally gravitate towards sweet and starchy foods because we are born with an affinity for sweets and foods that are quickly filling.

The one thing I found interesting was a description of how very young children have not fully developed the ability to recognize objects, including food, if their appearance is slightly changed. So if your kid likes potatoes but then gets some with parsley sprinkled on top, it doesn't register that it's the same food. To small kids it's a different food and they don't want to try it. Or if they are made to try it, they still have a resistance to eating it.

So this s another one of those things where you can think to yourself that this too shall pass--although maybe not for a long time.

[hardysmom]

As a mom of 2 kids with Sensory Processing Disorder, who have both been in speech/OT for over a year, I am concerned about this thread. Seems like there are 2 concurrent, but not necessarily related conversations going on-- the first is how to add calories to the diets of kids with little appetite or those who have strong preferences, but who might enjoy some yummy-healthy things like fruit smoothies. HOWEVER, a few posts seem to describe a second group of kids who may have bigger issues. Those are the preschoolers who have 3-4 foods in their diet and who have TERRIBLE over-reactions to new foods (no matter how yummy), including major meltdowns, gagging, and basically creating a consistently stressful meal time. My kids fall into that second group.

There is a HUGE difference between a kid who is a challenge to feed, but who, with a few well placed threats/bribes and a minute of misery will eat a few bites of whatever the family is having for dinner and the kid who ONLY eats PB&J, Mac & Cheese, and bacon and who will literally gag on peas or meltdown in apprehension because corn is placed on the table.

Usually, it takes quite some time to realize that your child is really having trouble with food textures, not just being theatrical/oppositional. Sadly, in that time, most of the well-intentioned advice you get can make the long-term issues worse, not better.

The ways you deal with normal-picky types vs. kids with some sensory issues is VERY different. What may help one child, hurts the other. Unfortunately, peds often offer CRUMMY advice on this. It isn’t until you’ve tried the not-so-great advice with dismal results that the doctor (or your friends) suggest that you may have a bigger problem. Duh! For example, say you have a kid who is experiencing sensory processing issues (though you/dh/grandmom think they are just being dramatic) and you try to "regain control" by forcing them to eat 1-2 bites of peas even though you BOTH know they will probably gag on them. There is a good chance you may end up with the kid who "eats peas at school, but gags at home" because at school, they can approach the food at their own pace. Plus, there is the peer pressure thing. Of course, the report from school that they are eating in that setting, just reinforces the idea that they CAN eat the problem foods, thus escalating the issue at home.

Sensory issues are GREATLY influenced by stress. Often the child can handle something in one setting, but fall apart in another. At home, they sit down braced, stressed out, and convinced they are going to be forced to eat something which will make them throw-up. Then, when they do throw up, everyone will get mad/upset. Who wouldn't be a wreck?

Other advice often includes “not making the child a special meal� or “either eat or go to bed hungry�. The parents' well-intentioned attempt to make their kid physically healthier, contributes to them becoming PSYCHOLOGICALLY unhealthy and developing a MUCH worse relationship with food than had they just been allowed to eat a PB&J for dinner.

It takes a LONG, long time to reverse. For my older son, this meant letting him sit at our dinner table (before dinner) watching his favorite shows. Reading to him at the table. Assuring him he wouldn't be forced to eat anything he didn't want. Making sure there was always one "preferred food" for him to eat and working new foods onto the table (though not always his plate).

Once the antics at the table calmed down, his OT asked HIM to pick 3 veggies he would like "to explore". One by one we started giving him (his choices!) carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli. All had to be raw. At first, he only would poke at them with toothpicks. Then he started smelling them. Then licking. Then taking little nibbles (with a lot of cheering from us). Now, 2 years later, those are still the only veggies I know he wont gag on. They still have to be raw, but he'll take a couple of bites.

Our big thing was that he didn't have to EAT anything he didn't want, he did; however, have to be a pleasant member of the family at the table. THAT is where we put the energy. If he started to get worked up and ask how much he had to eat, we would turn it around and ask him how much he needed for a full belly. I was shocked that he would usually come up with a reasonable amount.

Point is, if you have one of those kids who is REALLY having trouble EATING as opposed to just having a small appetite you may want to get a speech or OT consult to customize a plan for your family. Almost all will establish goals to restore a pleasant atmosphere for EVERYONE at the table by removing the stress the child has associated with food.

All the tricks for adding variety in the world won't matter, if you and/or your child come to the table planning on a fight.

I hope this helps someone. I think the parents on this board are so awesome- this is a bit of a soapbox for me.

Stephanie

[smiley525]

I'm glad I found this thread. I have a 15 month old who is off the charts for weight (17lbs) and dropping in height, they thought it might be Celiac disease, but that came back negative. I think she is a picky eater and just doesn't like to eat much. She loves any fruit and usually does well on yo-baby/cheese/mac n cheese/avacado-but that is pretty much it. She will usually try a new food, puts it in her mouth but doesn't seem to like the texture. I will watch this for new ideas...

She does like drinking out of a straw so I might try some smoothes-but she doesn't like anything too cold.

[wolverine2]

It is soooo comforting to know that others struggle with this. My DS, who used to eat everything, now eats basically only dairy products, grains (in bread or cracker form)+ pasta in certain shapes (only with cheese on it), and most fruit. It could be worse, but he won't touch veggies of any kind or meat. We are not great about him eating what we eat, because there often is not one thing he will eat. He's big- we don't have to worry about weight. His eating is going to be my summer project, though. A post on the other thread inspired me, about putting broccoli on the plate every day for a year until it was eaten. I think that's what we need to do. And I'm going to try spinach in a smoothie.

I was also a very picky eater- ate PB&J every day for lunch for 20 years (and still enjoy it!) It's hard for me to know how to react to DC because there were constant battles with my parents growing up (they tried everything, and I was stubborn), and I don't want to repeat it. I also feel like I can relate to why he doesn't like things sometimes! That can't be good...

[wolverine2]

Wanted to add a link to this construction utensil set that my parents got for DS. We're trying it on peas tonight. Hey, you never know what will work!

www.constructiveeating.com

[Globetrotter]

We went through this with my dd. She would hardly eat and was extremely picky - diagnosed failure to thrive, even. Well, now she is a great eater and she's still very thin but growing on her own curve. DS is like this, too. I think genetics has a lot to do with it (unfortunately not from my side :)) and I wish I had known this before - it would have reduced my stress level all those years!

Kris