Need good vibes and advice...

[Radosti]

DH and I have been TTC. My period is not due until Tuesday or Wednesday. About a week ago, I had some spotting which I assumed was implantation bleeding. So, last night I bought a two pack of Clearblue Easy Digital pregnancy tests. Took the first one this morning and it popped up Pregnant! So, that became part of DH's Father's Day gift. Then, we were out and about and I started to feel mild/period-like cramping. Went to the bathroom and I was bleeding. The bleeding got heavier, but it's all pink with some red clots in it. I filled a super tampon in 3.5 hours. TMI, I know... sorry. Took another pregnancy test this evening and that is saying Pregnant as well.

I talked to my OB/Gyn and he said to go for a blood test tomorrow morning. He has seen women bleed heavily and still have successful pregnancies, but he's not holding out much hope. Basically, he said I tested too early or I'd never have even known... I was thinking the same thing.

We're going on vacation tomorrow, but we're just going to the jersey shore, so can leave anytime. To add insult to injury, as I'm thinking I might be miscarrying, I still had to pack, clean/vacuum my car and do laundry. DH doesn't seem to understand how much this is bothering me, he thinks that if I am doing all this stuff, I must be OK. I am not darn it... I might be losing a baby. A baby that we both really really want. And he's the pro-lifer in this family, why can't he undeerstand how much this tiny little life means to me? It took me screaming at him to get him to unload the costco purchases from my car so that I could clean it. And he finally decided to do the cat litter since I was too ticked off at him for not helping with the clean out of the car (cheerios and goldfish crackers everywhere, plus a bag of cat food ripped and no matter how much I vacuum, I've been finding more pieces).

And it's almost 11pm and I still haven't eaten dinner. I wasn't hungry earlier. That's something I used to do when I was pregnant with Aaron, forget to eat dinner until 10 or 11pm at night.

[Jenn98]

(((hugs))) mama! I'll keep you in my prayers tonight. Please keep us updated. And don't be afraid to take care of yourself right now.

[Tondi G]

I'm sorry you are going through all this. Your OB telling you that you tested too early and wouldn't have known is not nice either. Regardless the + is a +. I have been through 2 MC's (between my 2 boys) and when I was pregnant again I had a considerable amount of spotting/bleeding. I honestly thought it was over but it stopped in a week or so and my little guy is here to prove it, healthy and bright! I'm sorry your DH isn't seeing where you are right now.... maybe it's time to let him in and explain your fears and sadness & need for a little extra help and compassion until you know one way or the other.

Keep us posted on what the blood test results tell you! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good Luck and HUGE (((HUGS))) headed your way!

Try to put your feet up and let your DH take care of the rest of the stuff that needs to be done before you go away..... he should have done the vaccuming in the first place! Have a cup of mint tea and try to relax (I know easier said than done).

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/8/01 and Aidan 5/4/05

[SeekerMage]

Hugs mama, uncertainty is never fun. I know DH probably doesnt get it, maybe he does but just doesnt know how to show it. Could be he is being distant and thinking it doesnt bother you because he doesnt want to show just how much it is bothering him. You know trying to be all brave and strong. Sheesh MEN! I hope that everything keeps looking up and that wee one stays put. Two positives is a good thing. Try and and take it easy and leave the heavy work up to him. Take care of yourself. I hope the blood test shows only good things coming your way Good luck :)

[Radosti]

Thanks! I sat down and watched You Me and Dupree (over DH's snoring). It was relaxing... but now the blood is turning more red and less pink. So, I'm pretty sure it's over... I'm still going to do that test tomorrow, but won't be able to update you guys until the following week, after we come back. DH is bringing his laptop, but I'm not sure I'll have time to log on. I guess a cup of hot tea was a good enough dinner. It's 1am... guess I'll go to bed. I feel very weird. Like I don't know if I'm coming or going... Thanks sooo much for the hugs. I need the hugs tonight.

[elephantmeg]

hugs and hope things go well and that you have a good vacation regardless! Hang in there mama!

[Radosti]

Thanks! I am 99.9% sure that it's over now. I have the heavy bleeding of my period (even if it is 3 days early), the characteristic lower back pain. So, I was pregnant for a day... plus the days that I *knew* I was pregnant before I got the tests. But I guess I know why. I had hurt my neck and back this past month picking up DS while he was sleeping (he weighs 32 lbs). My doctor told me to take 3 advils 3 times a day and then a Frexerel at night. I only took Flexerel once, but the Advil was pretty constant right around the implantation time, that's actually why I stopped taking it. But Advil could cause a weak implantation or a miscarriage. So, it makes sense. Doesn't make it any easier. Thank you for all the support. God knows I need it. Darn, I was so excited... DH and I even talked about names yesterday during the day.

[denna]

Huge hugs, Roda. I am so sorry. Im still sending good vibes your way. I hope you are somehow able to enjoy your vacation through all of this.

((HUGS))

[kep]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I'm not trying to highjack your thread, but I had something similiar happen last year, and my pregnancy turned out okay, so I just wanted to give you a little slice of hope. I bleed heavily for 4-5 days (red and dark red blood) along with lower back cramping. Here's a cut & paste of what happened to me:

***********************************************

Well, as some of you may remember, I found out I was pregnant with our second child during the first part of April. I had a lot of bleeding and cramping, and my (previous) OB said that I had miscarried. We weren't very far along, but it was still heartbreaking. My hCG levels came back at a 12, not nearly what they should have been during that stage of pregnancy. I said my 'good-byes' here, and also at the other boards I frequent.

After I posted my sad update on the boards, another BBBer pm'd me, and mentioned to me that I might still be pregnant, but just much earlier along than previously thought. She really encouraged me to see my OB again for further testing, just to make sure. It was really, really hard emotionally to even have any hope at that point, because of all the bleeding and cramping I had experienced. (I had no bleeding or cramping at all with my first.) However, she enouraged me to take another HPT, just to see. I took one of the Clear Blue Easy, which is relatively insensitive, and it came up pregnant within seconds of pee hitting the stick. If I had indeed miscarried, there was no way that weeks later, my levels would still have been high enough to register a positive result, esp. with my previous level only being a 12.

Due to some "issues" of sub-standard care with my prior OB's office, I found a new (and terrific!) doctor. He did a urine test in the office, blood work, and some work with me on my dates. (I wasn't sure of the date of my LMP.) He said he would call me back withing 1-2 days with the results & hCG levels.

He told me that based on my dates, and the immediate positive pee test in the office, and my ongoing symptoms, I was definately still pregnant. I had been really hoping I was, but I was too scared to get my hopes up again, yk? I was afraid the symptoms I'd been having were all in my mind or something. It just all seemed too unbelievable.

My levels came back at 4000.

I was stunned at first, and almost started crying on the phone. When I got off, ds and I danced around the house, laughing and cheering.

I had a in-office u/s at 6w2d, and not only was there a little bean in there, but we saw a heartbeat!

Absoluetly unbelievable.

So, I'm now 10w5d! Our due date is now December 23, 2006.

My progesterone levels came back a little low, so I am taking suppositories to bump it up, but no more bleeding or cramping at all! Woo-hoo! My dh and I are wondering if we still may have miscarried early on due to the volume of bleeding and cramping I had. Perhaps a twin? We are over the moon happy, and I couldn't wait any longer to share our good news with all of you. Thank you for all your support during this difficult time.
********************************

Many prayers and good thoughts to you and your family now. It is such a stressful time.

Kelli

Proud Mommy to Lukey (2003). Weaned after 3 years of happy nursing!
And Mommy to our newest baby, Joseph, born 3 days after Christmas.

[Radosti]

I'm crying now!!! I am really really happy reading your results, I hope some of that positive stuff rubs off on me. I'm off to Quest for a blood test.

[Wife_and_mommy]

Hugs to you! I hope that little bean has some how stayed put.


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I love them most when they are sleeping.--Me
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[daniele_ut]

(((Hugs))))! I hope that you are feeling a little better today and that you are able to enjoy your vacation despite all of the stress that this possible miscarriage is causing you. I had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks not long after Kiely died and also another month tested positive and got my period the following day. It doesn't matter how long you knew you were pregnant, the pain is still raw. I'll be thinking about you!

[mudder17]

Hugs to you! I hope that somehow things will work out for the best and that you're able to enjoy your vacation.

Kelli, I cried when I read your post last time and it's just as powerful this time around.


Eileen

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[megs4413]

i'm thinking of you. this happened to me as well...a little further along. turned out it was low progesterone, i hope your blood results give you some answers.

[bostonsmama]

Big hugs. These types of situations are so incredibly stressful and painful until you have clear resolution...and even then there's always the nagging hope in the back of your head that it's wrong/just a dream/etc. And I've completely given up on trying to convey (to men) the depth of emotion that a woman feels the instant she finds out she's pregnant. I guess I've come to peace with the fact that husbands ARE excited, they just often feel like either life should continue on as normal (as to not focus on the stress or "jinx" a good thing) or that they have to be the strong one.

I hope you find some peace and enjoyment on your vacation. Some are lucky enough to be able to try again; others aren't (so easily). I don't know which one you are, but I wish you lots of luck in your path towards expanding your family.

Prayers for peace and comfort as you await the results of your blood test. And kick your Mr. Doom & Gloom Doctor in the pants...no one should say such things to a pregnant, hormonal mom-to-be who thinks she's losing her baby.

[SummerBaby]

I'm sorry. I know how upset you must be. I've had 3 pregnancies- 2 normal and one miscarriage. I bled for all of them in the first trimester. In fact, for DD#1, I bled so much around 4 weeks, I assumed it was my period and didn't know I was pregnant until 2 weeks later! For this pregnancy (I'm 32 weeks) I also had heavy bleeding and my ultrasounds all ended up being normal. In fact, I bled far more with my 2 normal pregnancies than I did with the baby I miscarried. So try to relax! I hope everything works out for you.

Val
DD 2.5 years old
another summer baby coming in 2007!

[Radosti]

Thanks for all your kind words. I sorely needed them. Well, I guess I'll shut off the computer and go help pack the car. Then we are off. I should have a call tomorrow from my Ob/Gyn. Oy, why does this have to be so hard...

[TaChapm]

I'm so sorry! What a terrible way to end the weekend. I hope you are at least able to enjoy some of your vacation. You are in my thoughts!

Tara

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[SnuggleBuggles]

(((HUG)))

Take care and I hope you are able to have a good vacation.

Beth

[candybomiller]

Big hugs and many positive thoughts.

[pb&j]

Hugs to you. I had an early miscarriage after Emma was born. Even though I got pregnant with Max two week after I miscarried, it's still painful to think about. I hope you are able to enjoy your vacation anyway. Hugs.


-Ry,
mom to Max the one year old
and my girl in heaven

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[Mommy Of A Little Angel]

I hope things with your test go well today. Try to relax and enjoy your vacation! I will be hoping for good news when you return!

[Puddy73]

Big hugs! I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

Jennifer
Mommy to Annabelle 9/08/03 & Finn 10/31/05

"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." - Jimmy Buffett

[Radosti]

Thanks everyone! The test results were negative as I suspected as the test was done the day after my period began. By then, it was definitely over. I had my regular period during vacation. I felt better by tuesday though, so it turned out to be a very nice vacation despite the situation... I really appreciate all the positive thoughts. I really needed them.