A couple of funeral questions

[Moneypenny]

My former boss of six years died suddenly and unexpectedly last week. The visitation and service are tonight. I have a couple of etiquette-type questions and would appreciate any input.

1) Is it required that I wear stockings? I have a simple black dress and dressy sandals and would prefer to go with bare legs (it's going to be 90 degrees and humid today), but I'm not sure if bare legs are appropriate. I do have some closed toe heels I could wear with stockings if necessary.

2) They have asked that memorials be made to the family. I am accustomed to giving a donation to the deceased's charity of choice. What amount is appropriate for a memorial to the family?

Thank you! I am still in shock over this and not thinking clearly. He was only 46 years old and one of the best people I ever knew.

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif[/img][/url]

[kep]

Susan, I can't comment on the etiquete questions, but I just wanted to say how sorry I was about your former boss. Big hugs to you!

Kelli

Proud Mommy to Lukey (2003). Weaned after 3 years of happy nursing!
And Mommy to our newest baby, Joseph, born 3 days after Christmas.

[Moneypenny]

Thank you!
Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif[/img][/url]

[MegND95]

When my Dad died last summer, I did not wear hose to any of the events. Too hot, and I could've cared less about etiquette. But I don't seem to recall many younger (as in anyone under 50) women wearing hose at either the visitation or the funeral.

As for the memorial to the family, I don't know. I've never done that before. I'd say give whatever you would've if it was going directly to a charity.

Sorry to hear about your boss. So sad to lose someone so young.

[Moneypenny]

I'm sorry about your dad! Thanks for the input. I know bare legs are much more accepted now, but I wasn't sure if that extended to funerals or not.

I'm sure I'm just overthinking the memorial thing, but I'm kind of figuring that since they are specifically asking for contributions to the family that they might be in difficult financial straits and a larger gift would be appreciated? Anyway, I'm sure it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things.

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif[/img][/url]

[newnana]

I'm sorry for your loss.

No hose should be fine. It's less a formality than an age thing in most regions.

I have never heard of a memorial to the family, so I can't help you with that. Peace to you.

[gatorsmom]

When my mom died 2 years ago, I saw people wearing whatever nice clothes they had. A simple black dress and sandals sounds perfect. If it's going to be 90 degrees, I would think you would look overdressed wearing hose.

As for the memorial amount, I think you should give whatever you feel is appropriate. I truly think that no amount in particular is expected. What I think would be appreciated much more is for you to write in the card what you wrote here- that he was one of the best people you ever knew.

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[Moneypenny]

Thanks so much for the input and the good thoughts. I will go with bare legs and give my customary amount to the family.

I appreciate the input!

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif[/img][/url]