They should come with a user's manual

[Clarity]

And mine's only 12 months old! I haven't even hit the really challenging phases yet. I just want to know - will I be buying "expert help/information" books until she's 20? Seriously, I'm scouring my resources to figure out how to best deal with my budding toddler. She PINCHED today! AND she BIT me too - twice! I'm not even sure she was that upset. I think she was just trying something new to see how it went over.

She's been such an easy baby but I swear, she turned a year and it was like a switched flipped. We have tantrums, we have screaming in frustration and now we have pinching and biting. *sigh* My gut instinct is to totally ignore the biting and pinching and not react at all. My thinking is the lack of reaction will provide no reinforcement and the behavior will disappear. My fear is that I'm totally wrong and I should really be telling her NO and redirecting or removing her from the situation.

Anyone have any great resources for the toddler phase - and beyond? I should buy stock now in Barnes and Noble.

edited for spelling

[SnuggleBuggles]

I found that I referred to books mostly in the 1st 2 years and less with each passing year. My parenting books have been collecting dust since he was around 3, brushed off for illness info mostly. Our challenges have all been pretty typical preschooler challenges that I read about before hand. What I could not find in books I was able to find online or by talking to people like ds' teachers.

I liked the American Academy of Pediatrics' book "Caring for your Baby and Young Child" b/c it simply lays out physical, emotional and cognitive milestones for each age range. Nice to know that even undesireable behaviors are normal. "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears offered me a lot of reassurance too. Both authors put out specific books on things like behavior/ discipline, eating, sleeping... but you'll get plenty out of just the basic books.

I bought "1,2,3 Magic" based on peer recommendations but I really thought that it was a bit geared towards older kids when I read it (ds was maybe 2.5?). They may have a toddler version now though. If you go to amazon and search for Dr. Sears "The Discipline Book" it'll probably come up with some similair titles for that age range. You can then request them from the library to see if they are worth buying. :)

The AskDrSears.com website has good articles on biting and such. I reread those plenty!

The no reaction approach I think works well, especially if she likes seeing you make a fuss (good or bad). A firm "no" works well too sometimes. You just have to gauge the situation. Be consistent. That's about the best you can really do- especially with such a little one who is still just figuring out their place in the world. :)

Beth

[gatorruth]

Check out The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp. That was my instruction manual for my now 4yr old DS (when he was around 1-2 1/2). He wrote The Happiest Baby on the Block and it is a great book!! My DD is now 15 months and I think it's about time to pick it up and re read it!



Here's a link
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Well-Behaved-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553802569

You'll survive toddlerhood!! We all do!!
Ruth

[egoldber]

I agree that books are less useful as they get older. Part of it is that after the first year, children develop at such widely different rates that the books of the "if your child is this age they are in this stage" type are not that helpful. And also, they just begin to develop their own personalities, so you just need to get to know them, what makes them tick, their triggers, etc.