work-from-home mom needs your advice about child care...

[maylips]

...and I thought this was the best place to go for a variety of opinions!

I work from home full-time (I hope my employers aren't reading this since I'm obviously on this site). My DD was born in March, so she's almost 5 months. I've been taking care of her in the morning while trying to get some work done -- basically not working much in the morning, LOL, except when she's sleeping. I have a high school girl that comes in the afternoon to watch her. My work consists of a lot of online/computer stuff, but I do have to get on the phone with clients and colleagues at my main office.

DD's nap schedule is pretty consistent, but the time she sleeps isn't (for example, one day she'll sleep 2 hours in the a.m., another just one hour), so it's hard to schedule calls during her nap time in the morning. I try to push most of the calls to the afternoon, but my main office doesn't know I don't have help all day so if an appointment comes up in the morning, I pretty much respond and try to work with it. It makes for a stressful day, I'll admit, but seeing her when she needs me is worth it.

So, my question for you in cyberland is:
Once my high school babysitter has to go back to school, what do you think I should do? I could:
- Put her in daycare half the day (I would not do it for a full day - like maybe from 10-2 or so) and try to make her time there be between her morning and afternoon naps so she could be at home in her crib then; or,
- Try to find someone to come to my home. I've thought about trying to find a couple of college girls who might be interested but their schedules change each semester and I don't want to keep going through this.

If I find someone to come to my home, what do you think they should be paid? I've been paying my HS sitter $5/hr for 20 hours ($100/wk) but a friend who takes her baby to an at-home daycare pays $100 for 40 hours of work. $800/month can get pretty expensive if I should pay $10/hour. If they come to my home, do I provide food for them if they work through lunch? And do you think an adult would be willing to do something like that? Our house is one story so my office is on the same floor that the living space is on, and I don't know how awkward that is for an adult to be watching a child when the mom is in the next room hearing everything that goes on.

I'm at a loss. I feel like working from home should have its benefits -- like keeping my DD here with me -- but I also feel like the better option may be the consistency of part-time daycare with the same sitter every day. I feel like I'm not doing either of us a favor by trying to do it all, but I don't know what the right answer is.

[NeyhaR]

I think consistency is important for both you and DD. I would go crazy if I'd have to constantly rehire and retrain caregivers for DS.

I know lots of people who work at home and have nannies come to their homes to watch their DCs while they work. I don't think it's awkward. You should watch for potential nannies' reactions when you interview them. They shouldn't have a problem with being watched... I must say, however, that working at home with a nanny is sometimes harder than it seems. My DS will NOT stay with his nanny if either DH or I are around. Otherwise, he loves his nanny. But, if we're at home, and he knows it, he wants to be with us. You might have to work on that. I work outside of the home, and while I wonder what my nanny and DS are up to, and sometimes worry about not being around to hear/see what's going on, I have found it easier than my friends who work at home. Specifically, it's hard to hear your DC cry, but it happens and we all deal with it. But, it's really really hard hearing your DC cry and not going to see why and letting the nanny take care of it. But, you'll have to let your nanny take care of it so you can work, and so your DD will get used to the nanny. You just have to sit and listen and bear with it, if you're at home. Also, I know my nanny goes out for hours at a time with my DS, to parks, etc. I sometimes worry that he's out too long or in the sun too much, etc. But, I talk to her about it and trust my nanny, and it's still easier because I'm not there watching the clock. My friends have a hard time seeing their DCs go out with nannies and then waiting and waiting for them to come back. Sometimes, the clock goes so slowly and they get more stressed than they would if they didn't know... Just some things to think about. Sometimes I think either working out of the home, or having your DC cared for out of the home is better for sanity, even though you'd then miss out on actually being around and monitoring your DC while being at home. Just my 2 cents.

Good luck with your decision!

[moncheechee]

I did this exact work in college. Most girls will schedule their classes around the times you have requested. If it was an AM shift I would go to night classes or vice versa. I had classes in the AM then I would go help out a SAHM of 4 kids from 4pm-9pm because she needed help getting her little ones bathed and down at night. I liked it. You should post an ad in the Education building of a college. Girls would fight for these jobs. Also I was treated as part of the family meaning I sat and ate with them and if they went out, they took me with them. It was really hard for me to leave. They paid me $8/hr but because they gave me gas and food it evened out. My roomate thought of her working family as a 2nd family because she was from out of state. We both stayed with our families for 3-4 yrs.

[JustMe]

I think the sitter in your home option is probably your best bet for now. For one, I don't think a center would necessarily want to not have dd doesn't nap during 10-2, so you could do naps at home.

I have proviced in-home child care years and years ago, although not when the mom was around. You ask if you should provide lunch. I wouldn't think you would SHOULD or NEED to, as long as you let the sitter know to bring hers. However, I think little perks help sitters/college students enjoy their job a lot more, and you are more likely to have a loyal sitter who wants to stay if you throw in those kind of perks.

Good luck.

Robyn

[Momof3Labs]

I work at home part-time (3 days/week) and while you are getting by without full-time childcare now, you will NEED it soon. Your baby will get more active, sleep less, and need more active entertainment. Either she will suffer as you have to attend to work, or your employer will catch on that you are caring for your daughter while they are paying you to work and you'll lose what is otherwise a very nice arrangement.

We've had an au pair (actually, three) and that was an awful experience. Now, we have a professional nanny. She's quite expensive, but she's awesome. She's very comfortable having me around the house while she's working as she's very used to that arrangement; the au pairs generally were not (often with good reason, as the childcare was sometimes quite sub-par). Yes, she's expensive but she is just amazing with the kids and makes it so much easier for me to focus on work while she's here.

Day care could work for you, but your DD will be subject to the nap schedule at the center, which may not coincide with your schedule at home. And, you'll probably find that she'll have a harder time settling in there if she's only there for a few hours a day. Plus, as I said, you really need to focus on your job, and will better be able to do that if your DD is not in your care during your work hours.

If I were you (and if money weren't a big issue here), I'd look for an in-home sitter - either one full-time person or two part-time people (either half days or full days but splitting the week). $10/hr is the bottom of the range where we live, but it depends on how much experience you'd like the person to have, too. I highly recommend Craigslist (of all places) as a place to start a sitter search!

[sidmand]

I started this reply and then got interrupted...see, I need a sitter today!

I work from home and have a part-time sitter/nanny. I need to be on the computer way more than on the phone so I can also work nights and weekends when DH is home and that's worked well. But I definitely need someone here so I can get some work done! I wasn't sure how much I would need someone and thought I could get some work during DS's naps...yeah, that didn't work so well!

Our sitter/nanny is a bit older than college-age (almost 27) but she is taking classes...I thought I would like the fact that we were both pretty flexible, but it became difficult for both of us that we didn't have a set schedule and since her schedule changed every semester, so did mine. It was hard to sign DS up for any classes or plan work that way. So now we have a specific 20-22 hours/week that's worked out well. Most sitters/nannies around here charged $14/hour. We paid ours a bit more than she asked and ended up now (after almost two years!) paying her $12/hour for one child. She is welcome to eat or drink anything she finds in the cupboard or fridge, but often brings her own food.

Some people found it a bit difficult to work with me in the house. Our current sitter had a situation that didn't work out before with a parent in the house, but sometimes it's a meshing of personalities that doesn't work. Sometimes it's hard to let go. At first I didn't know whether I would have trouble with anyone else watching DS or it was this particular person. Soon I figured out that she might not do things just like I would, but that didn't mean it was wrong, just different.

We do have a totally separate office with a separate outside door and that's the only way it works. Once the sitter is here I pretty much hide in the office until she leaves or DS naps!

Debbie
http://b3.lilypie.com/WT7Im4/.png[/img] (][img)

[AbbysMom]

I was recently in the same position myself. i tried to work during DD's naps (ha!) but occupying her while I was on the phone was TOO stressful. When she was 5 months, I couldn't take it anymore and we hired a sitter 3x a week 8 hours a day. I posted the info on sittercity.com and 61 girls applied to babysit! (We are lucky that we are also near a big college for early education).

Most people who applied were sophmores in that college. Some were women who wanted to bring their child with them (usu around the same age as my DD but my office is near her playroom and one kid is enough noise!). There were also some women who applied who were older and had already raised their kids. I got a couple professional nanny's inquire but my price range was low for them. the website has a calculator for how much you should pay based on where you live, the babysitters age/experience, etc. We are paying $12/hr for a 25 year old student which I am comfortable with since she is CPR/first aid certified etc.

It is very important that the babysitter be comfortable with you at home b/c she spends a lot of time there. I love the situtation now but I do feel bad for the BS sometimes b/c things happen where I hear DD crying in pain and go to see what happened. It'll be something small (like her foot fell asleep or she hit herself in the face with something) and if I wasn't there, the babysitter wouldn't even have needed to tell me about it but since I'm home, I see/hear everything.

I told her she was welcome to any food/drink but she brings her own stuff with her and will only take an occasional cookie/drink.

I will have to change my schedule in the fall but I'm lucky enough that my hours can be flexible and the BS is so good I don't mind. It's a great thing to be able to see the baby whenever you want (but not always conducive to work - but neither is this website!) Good luck!

[maylips]

Thanks to all of you for your insights and opinions. Funny -- my DD is about 5 months and I'm hitting that boiling point! I just want to be a good mom and good employee - hard to do.

Anyway, I did register and post at sittercity.com -- thanks! And I'm going to call the at-home day cares and see what their policies are regarding drop offs and part time kiddos to watch. Good point on the fact that they may not want kids off their schedules. I could NEVER own a day care so I'm amazed at women who feel that calling anyway.

We'll see. Maybe my best bet is to go back and tell my company I want to work part time. Even if it's a pay cut, being honest about how I'm spending my time may take that stress away.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

[Melanie]

Another source would be any local colleges that have Early Education programs. I would bet you could post an ad in their department for some qualified people; maybe even run them by the director before hiring?

Good luck! I was SO envious when a friend of mine was able to switch to being a WAHM after her Dc was born (my job was not conducive to it, so I had to choose between WOHM and SAHM). After about the first year the jealousy turned into awe at how on earth she could ever get anything DONE! It's HARD. To have to be everything to your child at the same time as your employer - just not possible once they're beyond the 'lay there' stage.