Poll: Alcohol and "Family" Picnics

[LD92599]

Poll: We're considering hosting a family picnic for our toddler playgroup but I want to specify that it's a non-alcoholic event and therefore it's NOT BYOB!

Knowing this, if you didn't have any other plans for that day, would you still attend the picnic?

Thanks!

Laura

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yes, but I really don't think there is a problem with having it. that is, assuming you know and trust the parents in the plagroup. I know that when we have alcohol at ds' b=day parties that both parents aren't going to drink and usually the one that does only drinks one drink. Not a big deal.

That said, just say that you don't want alcohol there and it shouldn't be a problem at all. :) I only have drinks at ds' parties b/c we have lots of extended family there. Some people have it, some don't. I don't rule something out or in b/c of the alcohol policy.

Beth

[maestramommy]

I would still go. I mean, it's a family picnic, so alcohol isn't usually my drink of choice at these events.

[elliput]

I wouldn't have any problems with attending the picnic if it was dry. It would not even occur to me to BYOB for this type of event.

[Jenn98]

I'm with Erica on this one. It would never occur to me to BMOB unless I was going to my inlaws or my parents and that is only because maybe I wanted something specific or I was in charge of bringing drinks. I think bringing your own drinks to a party is rude unless it is the customary thing among your friend group.

[BeachBum]

I think it is really weird to tell people it is a "no alcohol" party, unless there is a problem with someone who will be attending and you feel that you need this as a preventative measure.

In my social circle many (most?) people would BYO for a cookout around dinner time. Perhaps by setting the time of the party you could prevent people from drinking? Also, I wouldn't BYO to a party that I was not asked to bring another dish (unless it was a good friend and we had already established this as a social rule).

We wouldn't BYOB to a party where we didn't know the other people well, or that we knew didn't drink, or a noon cookout. Sure, of course I would still attend in this type of situation. But honestly I would feel totally weird having someone tell me I couldn't drink. (Not that I would even want to)


Not that it really matters, but now I'm curious. Why are you adamant that it is a no drinking event?

[Corie]

In my social circle, most people would BYO for a cookout around dinner time
as well. Actually, you wouldn't have to bring your own, the host would have
beer and wine (sometimes liquor) provided.

I also would not BYO to a party where I did not know the people very well.

It would make me uncomfortable to be told that I cannot bring alcohol.

[lizajane]

if i were hosting, i would serve alcohol. but it would not bother me AT ALL that another hostess did not.

[Radosti]

I would serve alcohol for sure, but it never even occurred to me to BYOB to a kiddie picnic. The only reason I would serve it is because that's all part of the male bonding thing and if the dads are there, they'll all want to have a beer in hand chatting with each other. I wouldn't think twice if there was no alcohol there, although a light "fruity" wine might be a good addition to the event in my mind.

[michellep]

I'm in this camp. I would find the request awkward--and I'd wonder if the host thought I was a lush, if everyone's invitation said that or just mine ;). I guess my approach would be to deal with the inevitable offers to bring something with non-beverage choices.

I would have no problem getting to a picnic and finding no alcohol.

-M

[cvanbrunt]

I'm with the "huh?" camp, too. I'd really wonder why you felt the need to specify no alcohol. I'd never bring any unless it was requested and wouldn't notice if nothing was available. It's not a big deal to not have a beer but has an adult, I don't understand why if would be forbidden.

-C

[Fairy]

I never serve alcohol in my home or where I'm responsible. I don't feel you need it to have a good time. I've never had a problem. If we were going out, that would be different, but is someone had too much to drink at my house without my knowledge, and they went and hurt someone in their car, I'd never forgive myself.

[hobokenmom]

I agree. I'll be honest here. I think it would be hard enough to "lure" my DH to a playgroup event (unless he knew all the dads already), and if I told him that there wouldn't even be any beers there, he'd probably respond by saying that he didn't want to come because clearly the hosts were people that he would want to socialize with on a regular basis.

I'd probably go with the kids though.

I think it depends a lot on time of time, venue, and the general tone of the event. If it were at someone's house in the late afternoon, I would definitely expect there to be alcohol, and we would probably bring the host a bottle of wine or a six pack of a micro brew.

ETA: If we knew that there was going to be an alcoholic present or there were some other extenuating circumstances, my DH might be convinced to come.

[Melanie]

I can't remember the last year I had a drink & Dh rarely drinks as well; so it wouldn't bother us to not have the option; but I'd find the request odd.

[hardysmom]

I'm with the "huh?" crowd.

I would still go, but it seems awkward to specify. I would assume you were concerned about certain people, which would stir-the-pot.

It would never occur to me to BYOB to a family picnic with playgroup kids. Generally, the hosts either will have drinks or they will not. Maybe if it was a get-together with our VERY closest friends DH might bring "special" beer to share around the grill with the DHs... But if it was our closest friends, I would know if it was appropriate.

Point is, I assume one SHOULD NOT (would not) brings booze to a kids event unless they've been told otherwise...

If I wanted it non-alchoholic, I would just put myself in charge of drinks and only provide soda/juice. As the host, that seems easy enough.

Stephanie

[Laurel]

Of course we'd go.

However, we're so used to bringing a nice bottle of wine or some good beer to such events, that I think at first I would feel a bit chastised (sp) being told "no alcohol". I'd then assume someone present was dealing with an addiction or had a religious objection and I would be respectful of that.

If you are the host, you get to decide what is served in your home. I do however wonder what is wrong with legal adults having a beer at a picnic. In my circle no one drinks and drives, btw. That would change my tune about alcohol real quick.

[kransden]

The first thing I would wonder is who has a drinking problem. Since my DH and rarely drink we wouldn't care at all. If it was in a public park where no drinking was allowed, I would state that on the invite.

It wouldn't even occur to me that people would drink at a kiddie party, but obviously it is much more popular than I thought. Of course since we don't drink much, neither do any of our friends.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[stella]

I would come to the party, but my husband would probably not come.
I really think it is odd to have to specify. If there is someone you are worried about getting plastered, I would just not invite them.

If the picnic is in the middle of the day, then it's unlikely that anyone would bring any alcohol. Unless it's a wine punch or bloody mary or something (which I think actually sounds nice!). If it is in the evening, you could just not serve alcohol, but I think it's a little rude to tell guests what they canNOT bring to your party.

Maybe it's because I am pregnant, but a nice cocktail actually makes a "family picnic" sound more appealing to me. But again, this could be my stress and the August heat talking!

I don't know what your reasons are for not wanting alcohol at the picnic, but I think it's kind of like saying "Please do not bring any dessert onto our premises." It points out the object that you object to, when if you didn't mention it, people probably wouldn't notice its absence.

I have always lived in the south, and it may be cultural, but the only people I know of who don't drink alcohol are the recovering alcoholics, and people have always seemed pretty respectful of those people's choices. I haven't ever known anyone who was offended by alcoholic beverages.

[GaPeachInCA]

I would say "huh" as well.

I would have no problem with their being no alcoholic drinks served. However, I often bring a bottle of wine or a six-pack of beer to share when we are invited to someone's house (as do many of our friends), so it would feel strange to have that explicitly forbidden.

[dr mom]

If I was hosting a toddler event, it wouldn't occur to me that anyone would bring alcohol, especially at noon. Maybe at an evening gathering, with more adults than children, alcohol would seem more appropriate.

I have a friend with very stringent dietary restrictions who keeps a vegetarian home and doesn't allow any kind of fast food in her home, because she doesn't want her young child exposed to it. She often hosts gatherings and potlucks for our playgroup; it certainly doesn't hurt my feelings when she issues an invitation that says "Vegan Potluck" and everyone understands that meat is not acceptable in her home. Likewise I wouldn't be offended if she specified "no alcohol" in an invitation - I figure it's her home, her rules.

Are there really that many people who would avoid an event just because they couldn't drink alcohol? I have to admit, that's not a message I'd want to teach my children - "adults need alcohol to socialize and relax and have fun." Frankly, kids get exposed to those messages way too often by the media as it is!

[californiagirl]

I would assume such an event was non-alcoholic. If somebody specified that, I'd think that the location was one that prohibited alcohol and they were therefore being extra-careful. Nobody in our household drinks at these things anyway.

[Jo..]

I'd come with my flask WELL-HIDDEN and drink in your bushes. http://209.85.48.10/8918/62/emo/evilnaughty.gif

Seriously, I would also wonder if the hosts thought I was a lush and if my invite was the only one that specified no alcohol.

[MommyAllison]

Neither DH or I drink, so we wouldn't mind the request. Very few of our friends drink either, so we always assume that gatherings will be non-alcoholic. We'd come to the picnic. :)

Allison
Mama to DD 11/05