Has your DS peed on someone?

[SASM]

And...I am not talking about the "cute" little newborn arch. :(

We are having a HUGE issue with DS right now. He thinks that it is funny to pee on the floor or the toilet seat ("Cool...Did you the splash?!) so I normally put him in time out. :( He threatens to point his little "body part" at someone and pee on the them, BUT I reprimand him since I cannot put him in a time out for a threat. Clearly, time outs are not working and this morning is the proof since DD was sitting on her little potty next to him and he peed on her. I sent him to his room for two time outs and took away all things with wheels but I am just afraid that it will not sink in. It is just DISGUSTING and will not be tolerated. I REALLY want to take away something BIG, like social time, the pool, or TV, but, honestly, those things keep MY sanity throughout the summer (I am sure that he senses that, which isn't helping matters), especially with my need to stay cool and immobile. So...any suggestions...PLEASE? I am just so frustrated!!! We are just starting to use 1-2-3 Magic, if that helps. Oh...DS is 4.5.

TIA!

[o_mom]

No solutions, but I'm right there with you. DS1 has the "threat" down pat. I think this is the payback for never peeing during diaper changes. :P With the threatening to pee on people, we have started saying "Oh, you must have to go potty, let me help you." Followed by ushering him to the potty to sit. Kind of takes the fun out of it, I think because it seems that he is mainly doing it (and a million other things) just to get a rise. I'm not sure yet if it is working, though.

[JElaineB]

DS is the same age and threatens to pee on us or other objects, but usually only at home. He thinks it's funny. We try not to make a big deal out of it, but make sure he understands it isn't appropriate to pee anywhere but the potty (or outside in the yard, when DH lets him :o ) No great ideas for you, sorry.

[Clarity]

I'm wondering if having him sit when he pees will solve the problem? At least until he gets over wanting to pee on people?

[Tondi G]

Maybe y9ou should tell him he will have to start wearing diapers again if he can't pee in appropriate places. tell him "Only babies who don't know better do things like that" , and thats why they wear diapers cause they can't control themselves!

Good Luck

~Tondi

[jk3]

Great advice - I'll have to remember this!
Jenn
DS 6/03
DS 5/07

[himom]

Why can't you put him in timeout for a threat? If he's 4.5, he understands that the threat is not permitted, and he does it anyway then he's directly disobeying you, right? Then you can justify the timeout.

It seems to me this is less of a pee issue and more of a control issue. It's not like you can take away his pee! My son is the same age so I can definitely symphathize!

Are you up for something drastic? I have a memory of my Mom taking EVERY SINGLE TOY away from my brother....literally clearing out his toybox. She gave him warnings, told him she would do it, and he ignored her and did whatever he wanted to anyway. Next morning, no toys. I'm not saying you should do that, but think of what would mean the most to him and tell him you'll take it away. I know you said your sanity was at stake, but you might be forced into drastic measures.

Maybe you can plan something really fun (waterpark??) for a week or so from now, build it up to the kids, and warn him that if he does the pee thing he will be left behind. Then line up a sitter for him that day. If he acts up, leave him with the sitter,take your DD, and have a great time. The shock of that alone might do it. =)

I don't know your kids so I may be way out there, so as always please take with a grain of salt. I hope you get this figured out soon!

Jodi

[SASM]

That must be scary for you considering he has two little brothers who look to him for ways to behave...bummer since they are equipt to do so! It was quite interesting today when DD started repeating DS's lead by saying "I'M GONNA PEE ON YA!!!"

Your suggestion is a good idea; however, DS usually does this when he is "locked and loaded" in front of the potty. :(

Good luck with yours! I am somewhat comforted to know that it is just not my household ~ sorry! :)

[SASM]

Good idea. I was actually thinking the same thing this AM!

Thank you!

[SASM]

Tondi,

That is a very good idea! A while back, he was going through the "I am too lazy to walk a few feet to the potty so I'll pee right here!" phase. I put a pull up on him and it solved the problem, as he was sooooo embarrassed. Plus, he knows that he cannot go into the Wegmans or KIEA kids' rooms wearing a pull up. Forgot about that!! Thank you! Very good idea! :)

[SASM]

You definitely have a point about the time outs. Trying out the 1-2-3 Magic technique, I can obviously go directly to "3" for that! We JUST started using this method yesterday.

It was TOTALLY a control issue! :( Gotta LOVE this age! I think that between hvaing a 4yo and a 2yo ~ two VERY differnt yet very challenging development levels ~ we were INSANE for thinking about #3 right now!!! :)

The "taking taking away of all of his toys" is a good idea in theory; however, with DS, he has absolutely NO PROBLEM playing with DD's toys. That is why I just took away all of the things with wheels. We are obviously in limbo right now between discipline methods, which i am sure is felt by teh DC. Gotta go trhough a few methods to see what works best. Our ped suggested a sort of 1-2-3 method but removing all "things with wheels" with first offense, all "things that with batteries or plug in" as a second offense, and lastly all social activites are taken away witha third offense. These are taken away until lunchtime (or next spot in the routine that makes sense) and then given back. That metgod didn't quite work for DS, so now we are starting to implement 1-2-3 Magic.

The "planned activity taken away" is a good idea, too!

Thank you, Jodi, for your suggestions!!!

[Sillygirl]

There's a powerful method called "extinction" for use when these control issues come up. I suspect he finds your reaction fuinnier than the actual peeing. Extinction means you make no reaction whatsoever, ignore it like it doesn't exist. I think it would be very hard to do when the problem is so provacative but it may be worth looking into, especially since it seems to push your buttons so much (and rightly so.)

[niccig]

So, I can't help with the threat, except for disciplining for saying something like that. He knows not to threaten. You have to decide what his currency for the discipline to work.

If he does actually pee on purpose on something or someone, then he should have to clean it up and time out/lose a privilege/toy etc. I've been doing this with DS he started to throw food again. He know it's not acceptable. One night it was a never ending story of throw food/spit it on the floor followed by a timeout, rinse and repeat for 6 times! The next night, I gave him the timeout immediately and then made him clean up the mess and return to the table to finish dinner. A week later he did it again, and I again did time out + clean up. So far, no more throwing/spitting. I suppose cleaning something up takes the fun out of it.

I hope he stops doing it soon.

[SASM]

Sounds like a good suggestion, as disgusting as it would be. :) I've had him do this in the past but i do not think with urine. Thanks!

[dr mom]

I've had excellent success with this. DS usually showers with DH or I, and for a while he thought it was hilariously funny to pee on us in the shower. I completely ignored it, refused to comment or even notice that he was doing it. DH shrieked like a girl and then yelled at DS for peeing, making a big fuss over it.

Within two weeks, my showers were urine-free, but DS peed on DH every time they got in the shower. It wasn't the fun of peeing but the excitement of Daddy's reaction that fueled the behavior.

[moncheechee]

You definitely have to let him know who is in control..You. I would also have him clean it up by himself. If you don't think he cleans it well enough you could come back and do it when he's asleep. I had to do this one time and the boy I nannied for stopped. He thought it was disgusting to have to clean pee off the floor. I reminded him that that is why you go in the toilet. If it kept happening I would give him a small spank on the bottom. That would get his attention. I think that the countdown methods do not work because you are undermining your authority. Really, what are you gonna do when you get to the last number? The threat has to be given and acted on immediately in my opinion.