Any ideas how this is going to work?

[gatorsmom]

I am actively searching for a nanny to either help me with my 4yr old and 2 yr old while I"m getting bigger and less able to do stuff OR she will completely take over caring for my kids while I'm on bedrest. If all goes well, in November I"ll have a scheduled c-section and will absolutely have to have a nanny while I"m in the hospital and recovering. So we are going to have to have a fulltime nanny. But in the meantime, I don't know if I will be on any kind of bedrest and DH can't help if I do go on bedrest(and we have no family near us). So we agreed the best thing to do would be to prepare for worst-case scenario now and get a fulltime nanny in place.

I found someone I think might work great but I'm wondering how this will work. She wants a full time position and is willing to do a 4-5 month term with us. As I said, we will have to have someone full time in NOvember and possibly earlier so we decided to hire her now. That means she will be here in the house full-time while I"m here. She's a woman with 2 grown children (one in college, the other in high school) and so clearly has managed a house and small children- she doesn't need me watching over her shoulder. And I don't want her to think I"m micromanaging her. On the other hand, if I"m not on bedrest, I want to be able to spend time with my little pumpkins during the day. I don't want to be completely out of the picture.

If you were me, what would you do? I could see maybe going on outings with the nanny and the kids (it would be so much easier with another pair of hands) but taking some days to work on getting the house ready for the babies. And of course I'd take advantage of her being here to get plenty of rest. If we have a nanny, should I just leave all the bigger jobs for her (preparing and cleaning up meals, picking up toys, giving baths, etc.)? I want to spend time with my boys during the day but I don't know how to do that without getting in her way. kwim?

WWYD?

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[jgriffin]

Have you tried asking her how she thinks it could work? I'm assuming she's been a nanny before, and I'm assuming you've never had one. So I'd just tell her your concerns and ask her opinion on what she thinks the right balance would be. It sounds completely doable, but I think you need to make your expectations clear from the beginning, so you don't feel too burdened or separated from your kids.

[torontomom]

deleted...

[tiapam]

Having her do baths definitely sounds like a good idea. I am sure you will find it more difficult as time goes on. Maybe have her do them with you at first so the kids feel comfortable with her bathing them.

-Pam

DD - Two years old!

[kellij]

Woohoo!! I think it would be AWESOME! You can do whatever you want to do! You can rest if you want, work on the house if you want, play with your kids if you want. I would also enjoy running a few errands, or going shopping a little, all by yourself. You won't get to be alone at all for a really long time.

I second talking to her about it too. But I just know that when my sister is here with us (she's 23 and I have a 1-year-old and a 2-year-old), it is just so nice to have an extra pair of hands, and she's not especially helpful. But if I need to run out to the store and pick something up, it's no big deal. If I want to get my gym bag ready, I can run up to my room and do it by myself so it goes so much faster than when I have a 1-year-old and a 2-year-old with me. It's easier to fix dinner. It's easier to go to out in public. These might not be your concerns since your oldest is older, but it does seem like everything becomes more difficult as you get further into your pregnancy.

Good luck! I'm so excited that you're having twins!

[gatorsmom]

Thank you, I'm excited too!! But I really do need to look at the positive side of things. Frankly, I'm just frightened. I"m frightened that the kids won't like her, I"m frightened of losing control, and I'm frightened really, of leaving my comfort zone. I will depend on this lady a lot and that scares me (I'm a control freak). I just need to relax a little and talk to her about it.


Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!