when to stop using a gate at the door?

[rebeccaravit]

We just moved our son, 23 months, into his big boy room and into a twin bed. Last night we put up a safety gate outside the door b/c it's quite dark in the hallway at night and in case my son was trying to get out of bed to find us, I didn't want him to get hurt. Question is, how long do I keep the safety gate up? We tell him that he needs to stay in his room until nap time is over and one of us gets him, but when can I trust him to do that without having the gate up? I'd hate to spend the entire nap time upstairs.

[mudder17]

I think it really depends on the child and on your situation. We have a Ranch-style house so everything (except the unfinished basement/attic) is on one floor. Kaya moved into her bed at 30 months, and we've never bothered with a safety gate or doorknob cover. She can come out of her room on her own, but she's actually been pretty good about staying in her room until bedtime is over. She stopped napping at the same time (about a week before we moved her), so we've never had the issue of naptime. In your situation, I would probably keep the gate there until you feel comfortable about it not being there. Trust your instincts.


Eileen

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[lizajane]

depends on the kid. my kids NEVER stay in their room. they never have. they have never stayed in their beds. but we can't use a gate either because schuyler has a literall panic attack if he is trapped in a room without us. so they just get up and wander the house as they please. they almost ALWAYS come straight to our room. and we are downstairs, they are upstairs. we have never had a middle of the night fall, etc. but i have found dylan in the YARD in the morning twice in the past 6 months. he went out the dog door instead of waking me up. YIKES.

[Moneypenny]

We still use the gate, but we have it set up in the hall instead of at her door. That way she can get into our room if she needs to. But, after she goes to bed I often go out to the garden or something and I didn't want her wandering the house without my knowledge. We put her baby monitor back in her room and told her that if she needs us she can call for us and we will hear her. That has seemed to work pretty well and keeps her in her bed. I think once she got out of bed and came and got us in our bedroom, but that is it.

Susan
mama to my 3-year old cutie pie

[gatorsmom]

It definitely depends on the kid. My DS1 needed the gate at 24 months because he would always leave his room at bedtime. After a year, however, if I forgot to put the gate up, he would ask for it!! Now, at 4, he can open the gate himself and does so first thing in the morning to go potty and climb in bed with us. I'd leave it down, but he likes it up so we just put it up every night (ours is a soft-mounted gate- it's not drilled into the doorway).

I would say that once your son is potty trained if he doesn't need the gate (in other words, stays in his bed when you tell him too) then that is a good time to stop using the gate to avoid potty accidents!

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!