Anyone have experience with post-partum doulas?

[gatorsmom]

We are seriously considering hiring a pp doula for the first 2-3 weeks after the twins are born. I'd like her to help me with nighttime feedings since DH has already said he's going to be too busy to help (hiring the pp doula was his idea).

But other than her being awake all night to help coordinate the feedings, I don't really know what to expect. I've been checking references for one woman who has fantastic experience (including being a post-partum doula for a family of twins), so she'll most likely let me know what to expect. I just prefer to have a little info about her job duties before I interview her. I don't want to go into this relying solely on her word- kwim? Also, having some idea of what she will be doing will help me check references/ask specific questions.

TIA. Any help with this would be very much appreciated!!!

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[SnuggleBuggles]

No first hand info. Just saying I have been thinking of becoming a pp doula. :)

I didn't know they did the night shift though? I would expect a doula to:
-play with the other kids
-do light housework (load of laundry, dishes...)
-help offer mom physical and emotional support
-help with the baby(babies :))

D'oh! I just read the DONA site about what to expect from a pp doula and it says some will do the night shift. This is a good FAQ:
http://dona.org/mothers/faqs_postpartum.php

GL!!

Beth

[bubbaray]

I've used one (the same one) with both girls -- mainly b/c we have no friends or family to help and DH and I were pretty clueless.

My doula would have done waaaay more than I had her do. She ended up carrying aroud the baby a lot while I slept, which was fine by me. With DD#1, she was invaluable in helping me start and keep BFg (I had mastitis 3x with DD#1). Really, I think I would have quit in the first week or two if it hadn't been for her (I EBFd for 12m with DD#1).

She did laundry. She would have done "light" cleaning, but I didn't know what to ask her to do. This time around, I had the cleaning lady already, so she d/n have to do that. She brought me food and water when I was BFg. Kept me company. Kept me sane.

Also, our PP doula takes our calls/questions 24/7 -- still. She might not get back to me for a day or two (depending on her night schedule), but she always has an answer for me on baby stuff.

I only used mine during the day, but she works a LOT with multiples and usually at night with multiples.

Feel free to PM if I can help further. Really, I can't imagine NOT have a PP doula with multiples or if you don't have family around to help like we didn't. Ours was GREAT! I've recommended her highly to many other families.

Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

DD#2: 01/2007

[ilovetivo]

I used one and highly recommend it. I know i posted about it in detail somewhere on BB, if you can do a search.

Good luck!

[american_mama]

DD was born overseas, where post-partum "maternity helpers" were a somewhat common service, partially reimbursed by insurance. I never thought of the person as a post-partum doula, but she was, in a limited way (and in our limited three days of experience with her). She did laundry, grocery shopped, prepared a dinner for us for re-heating, and did light housework. She wanted to do more baby care and advising, but I didn't need it. I think she was willng to play with my older child so I could rest, but I never asked her to do that (wish I had). I also wish I'd had her come in the afternoon, when I would have desired a nap more, rather than first thing in the morning, when I didn't need a nap. I didn't have enough things for her to do, had a very easy post-partum experience, and in general felt awkward with a stranger in my small apartment. YMMV.

Also, I'd ask a post-partum doula about her feeding philosophy and experience, especially with twins. See if it meshes with your plans, especially if you are breastfeeding. There might be some doulas or baby nurses, especially with multiples, who are ready and willing to help care for the babies, but expect bottle-feeding to be a big part of that since they obviously can't do the breastfeeding. Fine if you're fine with bottles and/or formula, but not if you're not. On the flip side, there might be some doulas who talk down formula or bottles in the early days, and you don't need that if that's what you're planning to do.

[Marisa6826]

I had one after I delivered Mia. In fact, she's still my sitter. :)

Are you only planning on having her at night (that's how it sounds from your post), because there's a difference between a night baby nurse and a post partum doula.

Also, are you planning on having a live-in or live-out care giver?

If you can give me more specifics, I can probably better answer questions.

Here's a good place to check out:

http://www.dona.org/mothers/topics_postpartum.php

-m

[gatorsmom]

She'll be a live-out caregiver who is here for the night only. I guess I envision her to be here from 11:30pm to 7:30am for the first 2 to 3 weeks after we come home from the hospital.

I'm not even sure I know the difference between a night baby nurse and a post-partum doula. I just know that for that first week or two, while I"m recouperating from my c/s, taking care of 2 babies is going to be a challenge that I'm hoping she will help me with.

So, I guess I'm wondering what will she do at night? I envision her sitting and knitting and rushing to feed a baby when they start crying. That's as far as my plan goes!! I'd love for her to do other things, but I can't imagine how she could if she is here only at night.

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[stella]

she could clean up your kitchen, do several loads of laundry, write your thank-you notes (just kidding on the correspondence!). I don't know what a pp night-doula would consider to be her job, but if she's staying awake for the babies, she could possibly help you with some light housework that didn't disturb your sleeping family.

[Marisa6826]

Basically a night nurse is there only to tend to the babies. If you plan on nursing the babies, she'll bring the babies to you, take them from you when they're finished, change them and get them back to sleep.

If you choose to bottle feed them (either with formula or EBM), she will feed, change and get them back to sleep so that you sleep without even knowing they've been up.

I had a night nurse for about 4-5 weeks after Mia was delivered due to major complications.

I seem to recall that the nurse (she technically wasn't a nurse, but a caregiver) would get here around 11:30pm-12am (we're nightbirds). I'd top Mia off, give her to Laura, who would snuggle with her for a while, then bundle her in her burrito blanket and little hat. She'd then go in her swing downstairs in the den next to Laura, who would basically hang out on the couch with the TV on low. I had offered to make her a bed, etc., but she was more comfy on the couch (it's a big Pottery Barn Coma Couch and I gave her a down comforter with a pillow).

Laura would leave me a record of how often she fed and changed Mia, and then she'd bring her up to me when she'd leave in the morning. Some times she'd be asleep and she'd put her right in the bassinette next to my bed, other times, Mia would be stirring and want to nurse, and she'd go in bed next to me. Generally, Laura would leave around 6:30-7am (she had a 'real' job to go to).

Initially, she was here 5 days a week, then we worked it slowly down to 3, then 2, then finally stopped. It was slow going and it depended on how I felt (I was recovering from a triple whammy of a c-section, pneumonia, and a bonus PPD).

Now, all of this is different from a post partum doula.

Eileen helped me with both girls, did their laundry, emptied the dishwasher, made their breakfast and lunch (and cleaned up afterward). She played with them, read, etc. Basically, she made sure that I didn't have to worry about either one of them.

I could stay in bed with Mia and nurse her. Or I could sleep and she would bottle feed Mia if that's what I preferred. She also kept track of Mia's dipes/feeds, etc.

A nice bonus was that Eileen came with me to Ped appts. It was a HUGE help to have an extra set of hands.

Our relationship has truly evolved, as E (as she has come to be called) is still very much with us. I still have her one day a week as a sitter. She's an older woman that was trained as a nurse midwife in the UK. The girls love her as a grandmother, and in fact, she is much more of a grandmother than the girls' real ones are (but that's another story).

I found that the night time help was vital to me being able to deal with the kids during the day, but it really all depends on you and your personality (as well as how much family help you will have around - we had none).

I know it *seems* like a night nurse will be sitting around hanging out, but when you figure that two babies will be eating every three or four hours and it takes a good 30-45 minutes to feed, burp, change and get one back to sleep, etc., she's not going to have that much down time. :)

HTH

-m

[marinkitty]

A friend of mine just had a amazing night-time post-partum doula for eight weeks and has been raving about it to anyone who will listen. This woman came at 10 p.m. and stayed till 6 a.m. every weeknight.

She stayed up all night (slept during the day and expected to work all night) and as far as baby went, she kept the monitor, would get the baby when it woke, take care of any diaper changes, take the baby to the mother to nurse, get baby back after nursing, do the burping and any changing, holding upright, soothing back to sleep.

Then, when the baby was sleeping she did dishes, cleaned up the house, prepared the dinner for the family for the next day to be reheated, did the laundry. And Claire joked about the thank you notes - I guess this woman actually offered to do them but my friend declined.

So, I think if you could find someone anything like that it would be fabulous thing to have both because it would let you rest at night but also because it would free up so much of your time during the day to relax or play with the other kids rather than cooking, cleaning, doing laundry etc.

I have to admit that even though I totally do not need it at all as my mother is coming, DH will be of some help and I have day-time sitters four days a week, I found myself thinking how lovely it would be to have someone like that! If I was having twins and DH would not be around to help at night, I'd be all over it. I hope you can find someone great.

Holly
Mom to Mia (3.03), Jack (3.05) and another arrival expected this fall!