Saw baby left alone in car in Whole Foods Market parking lot

[noahsmommy]

Yesterday, I went to WFM (DH and I jokingly call it Whole Paycheck)and when I got DD out of the car, I turned around and saw a little girl (maybe 1.5 or 2 YO) sitting in her carseat all alone in the car next to mine! I couldn't believe it! I didn't want to stare at her too long, since she wasn't upset. She just looked at me, but she wasn't crying, or anything like that. I stood around the car for about 5 minutes looking around to see if anyone was coming back to the car. Anyhow, it was like 50 some degrees, not sunny, so I guessed she wasn't in danger of heat exposure, so I noted the time and decided to quickly do my shopping and come back. I figured that by the time I got out and if she was still there all alone, I was going to report it to the store manager, not mention the police.

When I got out 15 minutes later, the car was gone, so I guess someone must have come back to car. What would you have done in that situation?

I seriously was worried the whole time I was in the store. In hindsight, I wonder if I should have just reported it right away. Part of me didn't want to point the finger at some unknow person. But geez, leaving their child alone in a car in a public place? I mean, yes, I've left my children alone in my car in the driveway, while I run in to get a toy, but this?!! Oh, just thinking about it makes me frustrated at this person's careless, idiotic judgement!


Ann

http://b4.lilypie.com/452Zm4/.png (http://lilypie.com)

http://b2.lilypie.com/UKgRm4/.png (http://lilypie.com)

[Aunt to sweet baby boy]

I was in a similar situation and I called the police.

It was a few years ago and I was going to Target with my mom. It was during late summer and we were in the valley, so the temp was at least 100 degrees. We went to a Target that has an inside parking lot, so the cover gave a slight amount of shade but it was still very hot. I got out of the car and noticed that the car next to ours was running. I figured that someone was sitting in the car and waiting for their passenger to go shopping and they obviously needed to have the A/C on. I look into the car and the only person that I see is a young baby (about 4-6 months old) in a carseat in the backseat. I stayed next to the car and my mom went to get the security guard from inside the store. They called the police and we stayed until the police got to the car. They used one of those tools to pry open the door and luckily the baby was still asleep but breathing fine. We told the police what happened and as we were walking to the store we saw a woman and a 6-8 year old boy running to the car. It had been at least 15 minutes from the time we first parked. The police called us a few days later and said that the woman said she ran in to get a few things and did not want to wake up the baby. They were making her take a parenting class and she now had some type of mark on her license, so if something like this happened again CPS could take away the kids.

Ilana, aka Nana to my sweet nephew Avi

http://lilypie.com/pic/071010/DkhE.jpg[/img]http://b4.lilypie.com/iOMom7/.png[/img][/url]

[Marisa6826]

I was in a similar situation once (two little boys were left unattended in a car in a grocery parking lot). Actually, one had locked the other out of the car and the one outside was running around the lot trying to get back into the car.

I sat in my car talking to the boys until their father returned. It had to have been a good 15 minutes. In retrospect, I probably should've called the police.

I probably would've done the same thing with this little girl, or at the very least, told the store manager, and perhaps have had them send an employee out to sit with the child.

Sometimes you really have to wonder what goes through people's minds, kwim? Poor child.

-m

[megs4413]

i would have stayed for a few minutes, then dialed the police if no one came out. i would have stayed in the car next to the child until someone arrived. that's so irresponsible of that parent.

[Melanie]

Wow, I can't imagine. I think I'd have done like you and waited around 5 minutes or so (that was nice of you) then called the police.

Sure, I'd love to be living in the age when I can leave my sleeping 2 yo in the car out front of school to pick up my older Ds, but we don't, so I don't. I cannot imagine all alone in a grocery parking lot for over 5 minutes!

[julieakc]

Wow - I am just amazed at what you saw and the responses. Clearly this happens WAY more than I would have imagined.

I feel bad leaving DS in the car for the couple of seconds it takes to put the shopping cart in the return place!

[dr mom]

I would have called the police immediately - that parent needs to be educated about the dangers of leaving such a young child unattended. They were lucky this time, but who knows what could happen in the future?

When DS was a baby, a toddler was (unintentionally) kidnapped from the gas station near our house. The mother left the engine running and ran in to pay - and when she came out the car, and the child, were missing. She was lucky, when the carjacker realized there was a child in the car, he abandoned the vehicle. But until the child was found (hours later) all I could think about was how it would feel to know that your child was missing, due to your own negligence. It broke my heart.

Most of us wouldn't even consider leaving a purse sitting out in plain sight in an unlocked car. We wouldn't think of leaving a laptop unattended, or expensive jewelry - why tempt a thief? But there are still people who think nothing of leaving their most precious possessions - their children - alone in the car.

You definitely hit upon one of my hot-button issues; the risk isn't worth the convenience of leaving a child "for just a minute." www.kidsincars.org

[2girlsandalab]

I once alerted mall security when I saw something like that. Like you, I didnt want to stare to long to avoid upsetting the girl. turns out the mom was in the car and was just laying down all the way and I couldnt see her! I felt bad for interrupting her nap. (really)

If I were sure no one was in the car you described, I would've called the police. I have also called 911 when I saw people drive kids around w/o carseats.

[firstbaby]

Stories like this make me so mad and feel bad for these little ones! If the parents have such bad judgement here, what else goes on?

My MIL was in line at the grocery store recently when this woman came up and urgently excused herself to the front of the line "because her baby was in the car". WTF?!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I would have stayed right there next to the car till the driver came back. I don't know if I would say anything to the person at all. I might just say that I felt a need to keep an eye on her.

I would probably flag someone down (worker or other customer) and suggest they go to customer service and have the person paged.

But, I would not leave the child alone.

Beth

[Clarity]

What would you do if you pulled into a small business with a small parking lot, discovered your 15 month old sleeping in the backseat and knew your business was only going to take less than 2 minutes total?

I have such conflict over situations like this...first of all, I would NEVER leave my child in the car in a situation where I was not able to CLEARLY SEE the vehicle at all times, but when you are able to see the car from the place of business, what do you do?

I'll tell you that I finally made the decision to leave her sleeping in the car. I locked the car and ran into the veterinarian's office and watched the car from the window. Unfortunately, there was a person already at the counter that I deemed was taking too long, so I went back outside and stayed by the car where I could watch dd sleeping through the window. A few minutes later, my wonderful vet staff realized my problem and came out got my money and brought me my meds outside so that I didn't have to leave her again. It's days like this I wish dd was still in an infant carrier! The conflict I have over this type of decision is just enoromous. Was this the wrong decision?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I personally wouldn't do it. I have a friend who does that sort of thing all the time (at the dry cleaner...) but it is outside of my comfort level. Things can just happen too quickly.

Beth

[Radosti]

6-year-old twins persuade carjacker to let them go, police say
Morning Call Staff
12:17 AM EDT, October 12, 2007
Twin 6-year-old boys who were inside a minivan when a man stole it Thursday night in Hatfield persuaded him to safely drop them off at an area meat packing plant, police said.

The 34-year-old Hatfield Township man then crashed the van and was arrested, police said without releasing the suspect's name.

About 7:35 p.m., the boys' mother left them in a van as she went to retrieve laundry from a dryer at a coin laundry in the 200 block of W. Broad Street in Hatfield, police said. The man hopped into the van and drove away.

The boys talked the man into dropping them on the side of the road, police said. The thief complied when he let the 6-year-olds out at the guard shack of Hatfield Quality Meats.

Security at the plant found the boys unharmed and called authorities, police said.

Area police agencies continued searching for the van and a Franconia Township officer located it in the township. A chase ensued, the man crashed the van and police arrested him. He was treated for minor injuries, police said.

[Radosti]

If my son is sleeping and I frequent that business quite often, I call ahead from my cell. Explain my situation and ask them to do me a favor and come outside. I do that frequently at the local farm (my DS will only drink their milk), at the local pizza place (they are a mile from my house), and at my vet office (I run a rescue, so they know me way too well). At the farm, the girl usually comes out, grabs my money and brings me the milk and the change. At the pizza place and the vet, I give them my credit card number and they just bring out the pizza or the meds and the receipt.

I have sat in the car for an entire hour outside of Costco waiting for DS to wake up. I usually have a magazine or two in the car and catch up on my reading then. Even in my sleepy community, bad stuff happens and I can't take that chance. Luckily, the town I actually live in (not the one where the carjacking happened) is mostly Menonnite. While I was apprehensive about it when I moved here, the people turned out to be so welcoming and friendly and understanding that I am thankful we made the decision to move here. Even the non-Menonnite residents of the town have adopted the "one-big-family" approach to life. So, it's a good place to live. Even if deer do jump out at you frequently as you drive down windy country roads.

No-one has ever told me that they wouldn't help me. They understand the not-leaving-a-sleeping-kid-in-the-car approach.

[Jenn98]

I would not do this as well. Even if I could see the car, I wouldn't be able to be there in time if someone tried to steal the car. All I'd be able to do is give a better description to the Police, and that would be very little consolation to me.

[o_mom]

This is one of those "shades of grey" things, IMO. It is really hard to judge unless you are there. I think there are situations which are clearly on one side or the other.

Go shopping at Costco? No way and I don't think any reasonable person would think so

Return a cart to the corral two spaces away? I think 99% of people would say it's fine.

Then you have the grey areas:

When it is cool enough to leave the child in a locked car with no keys, running into a business with an all glass front and the parking space is right in front of the door, less than 20 feet away? Walking up to an ATM in the same situation?

I think I would be OK with that, but others may not be. If it is hot enough to need the air on, don't leave them (since you have to leave the keys). But what about pumping gas? I leave them in the car, but some may argue that by leaving the keys they could be carjacked away. OTOH, keeping three small children safe while pumping gas would seem to be the less safe option there.

This is why I bought a SafeSeat1 for DS3 - if he grows like his brothers I can have him in the infant seat until 18-24 months. :-)

[Marisa6826]

On more than one occasion, when the girls were really little, I called ahead, gave them my credit card number (or they had it on file), and a pharmacy staff member met me outside the door.

Kind of like some sick drug handoff, but better than waking a sleeping baby. ;)

Usually, if you explain the situation, and they're not crazy swamped, most places are happy to help you out.

-m

[SnuggleBuggles]

Ever since a baby and mom were carjacked in my city (actually, a nice suburb) while mom went to return her shopping cart 2 spaces away it reinforced why I wouldn't leave baby even then.

I don't leave the keys in when I pump gas, pay at the pump and let ds stay in the car.

Beth

[SnuggleBuggles]

Great idea!!

Beth

[Happy 2B mommy]

Okay, I guess I get the bad mommy of the year award, but I have done something similar-twice. Once I felt really comfortable with my decision, the second time I had all the mommy-warning-instincts going off and turned around and went back. Both times I also could clearly see the car, the car was locked and the temp was cool. I don't know what was different about the 2nd time, other than it was more of a 'public' lot (the first time was a small parking lot at work and I knew who owned each car parked there). All I knew was that my heart started racing and I felt scared for DD, so I went back.

I still live in the same small town where I grew up and I'm sure that influences my judgement. I still leave the car unlocked while shopping, and sometimes keep the keys and my purse in the car when it's in the driveway. We only lock the house doors when we're going out. I think back to all the times I was left sitting in the car alone (4 or 5 years old) while my mother grocery shopped, paid for gas, got dry-cleaning, even had her hair done (I couldn't stand the smell of the salon). I personally think it is far more risky leaving a preschooler/gradeschooler alone in a car than it is to leave a baby alone in a car (as babies don't lock/unlock doors, leave the car, pretend they're driving and put a car in gear, etc).

Statistically, one's child is more likely to be abused or abducted by someone you know than by a random stranger. Susan Smith claimed a carjacker took her kids, but I haven't heard of a case where a carjacker who stole a car with a child in it harmed the child (I could be wrong and please feel free to correct me if I am. I obviously do not spend all my time reading up on carjackings) The carjacker wants the car, not the child.

Is leaving your child/baby alone in the car a safe and good parenting practice? No. But I DO think each situation is different. In your situation, you thought and felt that leaving your sleeping baby alone in a locked car that remained in your sight was fine for a few minutes. When the amount of time got to a point where you were uncomfortable, you listened to your instincts and returned to your child. I wouldn't agonize over it.

This probably is a very unpopular $.02, but it's mine.

[o_mom]

If she left the keys in the car, then that is the problem, not putting a cart away.

I think it all comes down to personal feelings of risk in this case - I find there to be more risk in keeping my kids in a shopping cart while I unload groceries, take a cart back and then walk them all back to the car. Much more likely that they will dart off into traffic or fall out of the cart than someone will come along and try to steal my car that doesn't have keys in it.

I probably should take the keys out when I pump gas.

[writermama]

including mine.

See a map here:
http://www.kidsincars.org/m_nav/legislation.html

[noahsmommy]

And I hope that just about reminds everyone why it's never a good idea to leave a child of any age in a car alone. After reading all the responses, if I were to ever come across this situation again (GF!), I'd would have reported it to the manager right away and called the police. It's a responsibility issue, IMO. It bothered me that I didn't do so right away. Better to have a parent pissed off at me for reporting then, than face off to the potential harm that happens once in a blue moon. As parents we do everything that we can to protect our children from danger. So if we leave them in the car alone, we need to ask ourselves, are we willing to take responsibility for our actions? If something terrible were to happen as in the incident in Hatfield, could you accept that you left your children in harm's way?

I do highly support the recommendation of calling for help routine while having sleeping infant/children in car. I've used it many times, and it's always received that kind understanding on the other end.

[hardysmom]

I think I would beat you for the Bad Mommy Award. My 3 kids have waited in the car WAY more than 2 times. I HAVE also run into a store and asked if I could jump to the front b/c my kids were in the car...

Like you, I don't live in a big city. We don't lock our doors when we are out during the day and sometimes forget at night. More than abduction, my greater concern would be that my kids would get out of their carseats/get in trouble, choke on something, or just be afraid and cry. I WOULD NOT leave my kids in the car anywhere that I wouldn't leave my purse on the front seat with the windows down.

I would not leave 1 child alone in the car. That just seems lazy and sad. If I saw a very young child alone in a car, I would also be worried.

I have 3.5 yr old twins and a 5 yr old. Things are getting easier now as everyone can walk, but there was a LONG time there when I only frequented places where I could either drive through or felt safe running in while the kids were in the car. I'm talking about parking at the vet's front door and running in to get eye-drops, not going shopping at Target. If I know I have to run in w/o the kids, I do try to call first to make sure everything is ready so the process will be quick.

I wouldn't leave my kids in the car at Walmart. I will leave my twins in the car as I run DS into his (small, private) kindergarten. I wouldn't leave the kids in the car to go grocery shopping. I TOTALLY would leave them in the car at the dry-cleaners.

The time I asked to go to the front of the line was at a Walgreens when I had to pick up medicine for my very sick (vomiting), but currently sleeping twins. I couldn't have carried them by myself. I parked in a front handicap space and BOLTED. I didn't like the idea, but I didn't feel I had a lot of options.

So don't feel alone.

Stephanie

[lizajane]

i open the business door and ask the salesperson if he/she can come to me, as i have a sleeping child in the car and don't want to leave him. i do not enter the store and i do not ever stop looking at the car. and i mean, leave the car 5 FEET from where i am at the door. not much farther than if i were pumping gas outside of the car. not if i had to park in a p-lot and walk a ways. only if i can pull up to the store's door.

also, i use a mei tei for my sleeping kid. i wrap the kid up, attached to me and let him sleep. i do that all the time. of cours,e my kids don't wake up- lucky me. but i would much rather wake my kid than leave him alone in the car when i am all the way inside! yikes!

[lizajane]

i would stay with the baby whether or not i called the police. even if i had both kids with me.

[babyready]

I used to work for CPS. Rule of thumb, call CPS if you suspect child abuse or neglect but the child is not in immediate danger (although there should be a visit within 24 hours of the call) and the police for immediately pressing situations. Leaving a child in a car alone is not acceptable and is considered an immediate concern. I would have called the police. The parents need to be educated.

[gatorruth]

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Yes, we should ALL take the keys out of the car and lock the doors when we pump gas. A dateline show was done about that- minivans have very poor visibility to the passenger side when you pump gas. Many purse snatchings have happened when a purse or wallet is sitting on the passenger side seat. A thief reaches into the car while you're busy pushing buttons or putting your cc in the card reader and you don't ever realize it.

I now roll the windows up on the passenger side, and roll down the window on the rear drivers side (so I can chat up my kids while pumping) and LOCK THE DOORS! HTH

Great thread!!

[megs4413]

i will admit i tend to be overprotective...

one of my big problems is getting the kids out of the car once we get home and i have groceries or other bags. i feel very uncomfortable leaving them in the garage even. what i normally do is get them both unloaded and put them in the house right inside the door to the garage and then unload the stuff (all in one trip--i never go back twice). this way, they are inside (where we have a security system) within sight while i get the groceries and bring them in.

to be honest, it's a PITA. especially when they're sleeping so i have to wake them up, but i don't see any other way to do it. i suppose i could close the garage door behind me, but it scares DD.

what does everyone else do?

[tarabenet]

I have wished many times that I could leave the kids in the car and run in on an errand, as my mom used to be free to do. I joke that I am "just the day shift" and I know that it means I have my nights and some weekends child-free, time enough to take care of all those little odd-jobs. I have often wondered how full-time SAHPs manage. But I would never dare to leave the kids unattended in a parking lot. I feel horrible just leaving one in the car in the safe-at-home driveway while I load or unload the other one. If anything happened to those precious children, I don't know how I'd live with myself. And I know I could never face my bro and SIL or our family again. And if I were the actual parent, rather than the aunt/nanny? Well, I know the risk is extremely low, but the stakes are so incredibly high.

I have to wonder whether the WF mom would tolerate a babysitter who did that same thing, left the same child alone in a parking lot? If you would be horrified by someone else doing that to/with your child, how can you allow yourself to run the same risk? I do know that it is a big hassle, but again: the stakes are just so high.

I never thought of alerting store management. I guess they could help bridge the gap. But I think I'd just call the police instead, and stay with the car until they arrived. My responsibility/authority as a citizen is no less than the store manager's, I think. Is that just another weirdness of mine?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I didn't feel bad leaving ds in the car in the garage while doing things like that but I would probably close the garage door or lock the car doors.

When ds was in the infant carrier I would just take him in first, put him on the floor in his carrier and go get the groceries.

If he was older and sleeping I would transfer him to his crib then go back to get my stuff.

If he wasn't sleeping I had some childproofed areas that I felt leaving him in.

If I had more than 1 child I would just get one child at a time. :)

Beth

[2girlsandalab]

Another reason I would not leave our girls in any car alone is that I am pretty sure that one day they will learn to release the parking brake and put the car in gear. In the story of the 6yos, I doubt the carjacker helped them out of their boosters or whatever. Those boys could easily have harmed themselves by horsing around in the car since they could move around without any trouble.

[Melanie]

>I feel bad leaving DS in the car for the couple of seconds it
>takes to put the shopping cart in the return place!


Same here! If it's too far I'll just do my pet peeve and leave it out of a rack (I hate that!). I also always leave a door open in case I get hit by a car she won't bake in there. Can we say paranoid?

[egfmba]

I read all the responses, and I have to say, no one mentioned that you don't know how long that baby was in the car *before* you came along. I would totally call the police if I encountered such a situation because I don't know how long that baby's been in that situation (locked alone in a car without care). I don't think waiting with the child for a parent will do much. Obviously social shame is not big on this person's conscience (if it was, they wouldn't leave a child in the car in the first place). Furthermore, confronting a parent is unlikely to make any difference - and may just add to your frustration at the end of the confrontation.

I won't go more than 5 feet away from my car unless it's in my garage with the garage door down (car engine off, of course) when my kids are in it. We all think it's just for a minute and we all think of what a pain in the a$$ it is to wake a sleeping child or take the kids in with us, but I think of it this way: I didn't go through 9 months of pregnancy, labor and raising this kid this long to let some schmuck carjack/kidnap my kid.

I'm not trying to sound judgmental (though I'm sure I do). I simply cannot bear the thought of any child going through any amount of fear or trauma for an adult's 'convenience'.

eva

[AbbysMom]

This is my big problem! I have a bad back so I can't take in too much at once. I pull the car to the front of the house with my hazards on. I don't want to leave the baby in the car on the street so I take her out and put her in the house. I then run back and forth about 5-6 times for my bags. then I lock the baby in the house, run back out, pull the car into the driveway beside the house and then go back in. I guess someone could break in the house but I just don't see any other options except putting her back in the car but she's just too heavy and it seems silly. Oh to have an attached garage!

I haven't left her in the car although I longingly want to at the drycleaners... But once I put her beside the door to the car, opened the trunk, swung a stoller in, closed the truck and saw a dog sniffing her (a nice old neighborhood dog but it scared me). It does just take a second.

[elliput]

As far as putting the cart away- I unload the cart of my purchases first, then take it to the cart corral with DD still strapped in and we both walk back to the car. Or if I only have a small bag and am passing the corral on the way to the car, I leave the cart then. I also try to find parking spaces next to cart corrals even if it means walking further.

Back to the OP's question. I would have alerted store management immediately. There is no way of knowing how long that child has already been waiting, and how much longer it would be before the driver shows up. In a worst case senario- the driver has a freak accident inside the store and is unable to communicate, how long would that child continue to sit in the car?

I think of all the children who have died as a result of being left in cars, and wonder how many would be alive if someone passing didn't assume that the parent would be right back out?

[katydid1971]

You guys just gave me another reason I love living in Oregon, Full Service!!!!
Sarah

[katydid1971]

I always ask for help out. Then I can put DS in his carseat and the bagger can take the cart. We always have the "car" cart anyway and they really don't fit in the corrals so its best for the store to give me help me out too. My MIL goes to a market that takes everybody's stuff to their car. It keeps the lot and the carts cleaner.

[kcandz]

For some it isn't the adult's convenience. If the child is very difficult sleeper, it is for the child's well being to stay asleep. Sleep is hugely important when they are small.

My friend could take her DC sound asleep from the carseat to the stroller all around a noisy mall, and back to the carseat with nary a peep. I could not take DC from the carseat asleep without waking up. Not once. DC would wake up and not be able to get back to sleep.

I live in an urban area and would not leave DC in the car. As PP mentioned, I keep some reading material in the car for those days. But I can't impose my urban standards on those who live in truly small towns with very small shopping areas and a 2 minute errand. I am not talking big box stores here.

I totally agree about not knowing how long the girl in OP situation had been in the car, which is very scary. Just wanted to make the point that these scenarios are not necessarily about adult convenience.

[Aunt to sweet baby boy]

Alison- Not sure if you have a good stroller/cart but maybe that would help you in this senario. You load up the stroller with all of your groceries in the seat/cart and can then push it up to the door and you will not have to make as many trips. You could also get one of those metal carts that some people take to the market and load everything into that. If you loaded everything into the cart and pushed it next to the door and kept your baby in the car you could then park the car and bring everything into the house at the same time, because soon you will have to put your dd into a crib/pack and play, she will be very mobile soon.
JMHO, HTH or gave you some ideas.

Ilana, aka Nana to my sweet nephew Avi

http://lilypie.com/pic/071010/DkhE.jpg[/img]http://b4.lilypie.com/iOMom7/.png[/img][/url]

[hardysmom]

Well said...

As unfathomable it is for city moms to imagine leaving a child in the car as they ran into a dry cleaners, it is equally unfathonable for me (outside of a small town near a small city) to imagine being nervous about leaving my child in the car while I was unloading groceries.

Stephanie

[Ceepa]

My fingers would have been dialing 911 so fast the buttons on my phone would have popped off.

-Ceepa

[egoldber]

Well I live in a big town near a big city known for being "dangerous" and I still can't fathom being nervous about leaving my kids in my own driveway while I unload groceries. The first time I read that people were afraid of doing this I was honestly shocked. Equally I have no qualms leaving both my kids safely strapped into their carseats while I return a cart several parking spaces away. Or paying for gas.

And now that I have Amy, who is a little monkey and totally into EVERYTHING given the opportunity (scaling rocking chairs to reach CD racks at 12 months) I know for a fact she is safer strapped securely into her carseat than left to her own devices to roam the house while I unload the car.

The most dangerous things we do with our kids everyday is strap them into their carseats and drive.

[val01]

This unfortunately is WAY to common. My DH used to work in EMS in Florida. They were told to break the glass, period. My husband has used a punch tool a lot. I think that he said he lost count over 50 in 2 years. It's sad..
Valerie

[B.A.F.]

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[B.A.F.]

Same here in Georgia. One grocery store (Publix) has the baggers automatically bring the carts out to the car and unload the packages into the car for us. The other grocery store (Kroger) doesn't offer, but I request it if I have any/all of the kids with me. Which is good because it is just not feasible to return the cart with the kids in and lug three back to the car, one is doable, but not three.

It seems like such a silly little thing, this grocery/cart issue, but it IS a complicated matter, isn't it?

[heatherlynn]

I will leave my 2 youngest in the car if it's an errand that takes less than a minute and I can see them from wherever I am (PO just dropping something in the box or on the counter, at older DD's school where I can park right in front of the office). One thing that helps is that I have a remote car starter. I can lock them in the car and then start it so that it stays cool or warm for them. I always lock my doors when I get gas and I take the keys with me. I also pay at the pump every time.

ETA: this is one reason why I go to Dunkin Donuts instead of Starbucks now - Drive Thrus!

H-
Heather
dd 3/98
ds 8/04
dd 11/05

[blueeyedb]

I once told a pharmacist that I couldn't wait for my medication and would come back later because my son was in the car, which was true, but I forgot to mention that my husband was with him. Only as I was walking out did I think about how that must have sounded. Hopefully the same was true in your MIL's case.

[C99]

>And I hope that just about reminds everyone why it's never a
>good idea to leave a child of any age in a car alone.

Actually, it just makes me think how stupid the mom was to leave her kids AND her keys in the car.

[C99]

This issue comes up every 3 months or so on the BBB. I'm usually the only person with this opinion, but its unpopularity has yet to change my mind.

I think it's OK to leave a sleeping child in a car, or even an awake child or two, in the car while you run a quick errand, preferably with a direct line of sight to the car, but sometimes without it. I have done this when it was expedient to do so, and I don't think I am a bad mother for it. AND I live in the 3rd largest city in the U.S. The law here says that you can leave your children unattended in a car for up to 10 minutes. That's a darn long time.

I often leave DS2 and DD in the car when picking up DS1 from school, which entails leaving them in the parked car while I run down an alley to retrieve DS1 from his classroom door. I will leave a sleeping DD or DS2 parked in the car in front of my house and watch them from the front rooms or front porch. I have left them in the car parked directly in front of the glass-fronted dry cleaners while I ran in to pick up my stuff. I always leave them in their seats at the gas station and pay at the pump, taking the keys out of the ignition.

When I had just one child, it was easy for me to unload groceries, bring my child in the cart to the cart corral, and then carry him back to the car. Now I have three children, two of whom don't sit in the cart. It's safer for them if I unload the groceries, buckle them in their seats and then return the cart to the corral. I take my keys with me.

As a PP has pointed out, abductions or abuse are more likely to happen at the hands of someone you or your child knows. In addition to that, I remember reading that abductions of children under the age of 5 are really exceedingly rare. It's a scare tactic, and honestly, I have enough in this life to worry about without buying into the hysteria over the infinitesimal chance that my 2-year-old will be stolen out of the car while she is buckled into her seat, asleep, while I run into my neighborhood Starbucks for 6 minutes.

ETC grammar

[C99]

>I used to work for CPS. Rule of thumb, call CPS if you
>suspect child abuse or neglect but the child is not in
>immediate danger (although there should be a visit within 24
>hours of the call) and the police for immediately pressing
>situations. Leaving a child in a car alone is not acceptable
>and is considered an immediate concern. I would have called
>the police. The parents need to be educated.

Really? A friend of mine works for CFSD and she rolled her eyes when I told her about stuff like this. She seemed to think that leaving your kids alone in the car for a couple of minutes is not the kind of thing that CFSD needs to hear about.

[o_mom]

Problem is that the rear windows don't roll down (minivan), so in the summer when it's 90 degress out, they sit and swelter with just a tiny wisp of air from the front window. Hence the leaving the keys in so the air can remain running.

[Clarity]

I've gotten some great ideas! Sadly, it never occurred to me to pick up the phone and call the vet staff and ask them to run out to the car. I WILL do this in the future! Oh, and the tip about not leaving the keys in the car while at the gas pump is great, I'll be applying that one from now on.

[heatherlynn]

I was kind of thinking this myself.

H-
Heather
dd 3/98
ds 8/04
dd 11/05

[trumansmom]

My kids are older now, so taking them with me isn't really an issue anymore. However, when Truman was a baby I really struggled with whether or not it was worth exposing him to below zero temperatures to go in and pay for gas, or if the risk was greater leaving him in a warm car that I could see. It was a tough decision, and I made it on a day by day basis. I don't think I've ever left the kids in the car (besides in our driveway or garage) when I couldn't see them, however, I wouldn't judge someone who weighed the risks and decided that was the best option.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[Java]

Yes, leave in car:
- drop off/pick up dry cleaning
- ATM
- Starbuck's ONLY if there's no line and at the little shop on the corner where there's parking right in front
- pumping gas (pay at pump)

In these situations, the car must be parked in front of the door of the establishment, doors are locked, window opened a maximum of 6 inches, weather is not hot or cold and I have the car keys. If I can't get parking in front, then I (1) wait for parking to free up, (2) I forgo the trip and come back later or (3) wake the baby.

No, absolutely not, I take my kids with me:
- any trip involving entering a store or enclosed building where I can't see the car (i.e. Target, grocery, pharmacy, Costco, etc.)
- any place involving a guaranteed line waiting like the post office

I figure most places are open at night so I'll go when DH comes home from work. Or I wait until the kids wakes up. Or if the baby's been asleep for a sufficient amount of time (at least 20-30 minutes), I'm OK with waking her. I like to plan my day to the minute, making sure I hit all the crucial places during DD's wake up time. And whatever I didn't accomplish, I'll move that to the next day's trip. Or the trip after naptime.