Thank You etiquette

[supercalifragilous]

A friend at a b-day party recently told me a tidbit of info regarding Thank You notes. Having been convicted about writing but not stamping+addressing+mailing out DD's <hanging head in shame> (I kept meaning to hand them out personally & kept forgetting), apparently Emily Post is letting me off the hook:

She says:
"Traditionally, if you open a gift in the presence of the giver, you need not write a note. All other gifts should be acknowledged with a note."

http://www.mixedbaggifts.com/etiquette.html

http://www.tvguide.com/News-Views/Columnists/The-Watercooler/default.aspx?posting=%7BA0ADA3D4-FD69-412C-BFF0-302F767B366E%7D

The first Q references this "verbal" thank you:
http://emilypost.com/questions/BestQuestionArchive2006.htm

That said, I still feel kinda bad!!

[Happy 2B mommy]

AHHHH. Thank you, I have been redeemed.

And like you, I still feel badly about not sending thank yous for DD's church dedication ceremony.

[tiapam]

I have always understood it this way, but I notice a lot of people (let's be honest - women) still send a note even when the gift has been opened in front of the giver and thank yous have been said.

I don't think I sent TYs for DD's kid party last year as it was small and we opened the gifts and said TY. This year we also opened the gifts but since there were more kids I did not feel that proper thank yous were extended. In fact it was chaos. So we just sent some out. We are still working on the OOT relatives who sent gifts. DD is actually enjoying making cards and wants to make one for herself :).

I guess it's never a bad thing to over thank but it does drive me a little crazy. Because it's mostly women doing it and then so many women complain (I do too, but not because I am writing so many TYs) about not having enough time for themselves. So stop thinking up unnecessary tasks, that then make other women feel like they have to do it, too...

Off my soapbox now.

-Pam

DD - 3 YO

[C99]

>I have always understood it this way, but I notice a lot of
>people (let's be honest - women) still send a note even when
>the gift has been opened in front of the giver and thank yous
>have been said.

I am guilty of this, even though I know the etiquette says a verbal TY is enough. I just feel like a written note expresses it better - although I usually skip the notes with my mother and good friends.