I need to help someone with quitting tobacco...

[jillc]

Someone very important to me is a closet tobacco chewer. This person has tried on his own to quit several times in the past & it never lasts more than a month. He has also tried the medication "Chantix", and that has helped, but again it has not lasted more than a couple months.

I just found out that he is chewing again, and I would greatly appreciate any advice on different methods that we might look into for nipping this in the bud. I know that I can't do it for him, but I need to be his best supporter, and I would like to have more suggestions for him.

Thank you very much. This is very important to my family.

Best,
Jill

[trumansmom]

Tobacco has a higher recidivism rate than heroin. It's just that powerful of an addiction. And he's not going to quit until he's ready. Talk to him about trying Chantix again. Find out if your state's health department has any programs. I know our state has a 24 hour hotline for people trying to quit.

I quit smoking 9 years ago. I started when I was 14 and in boarding school, and smoked for 19 years. I can't tell you how many times I quit and started back over those years. It was a lot. A couple of times it was for a year or more, but I kept going back. However, thankfully, there came a time when I honestly had had enough. I quit because *I* didn't want to be a smoker anymore. It wasn't because my boyfreind was bugging me about it, or because my doctor told me I should, it was because I wanted to. I haven't smoked since. You can do your best to offer him support and point him in the direction of different resources, but if he doesn't really want to, he's not going to. You're a good friend for trying to help him. I wish him well.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[Sillygirl]

Actually, each day he spends abstinent from chew is great practice for ultimately successfully quitting. Try to present him with the attitude that his various attempts are progress towards a very difficult goal, rather than failures.

[tarabenet]

Wow! Great way to think about it. That is a good way to look at things any time an attempt to change habits didn't stick. Thanks for that re-frame.

[dcmom2b3]

Yep, it is a great way to think about it. In fact, it was the only way that I could understand my many (failed) efforts to lose my tasty smoky treat habit without feeling like a huge a$$hole/idiot once I relapsed. From the fact that Jill's friend is a closet user, I'd say he already has a bunch of shame about it anyway (sorry, got my PhD in psych off the Cheerios box this morning and have been dying to use it all day).

Jill, I don't know if chewing presents a different set of challenges than smoking, but for me what worked pretty well was just learning how to ride out each craving -- I'd tell myself that if, in an hour, I still had a craving for a smoke then it would be ok to have one. By the time an hour passed, inevitably I had moved on to doing something else, and had forgotten about smoking. That little bit of accomplishment was enough of a glimmer of light to let me see that I could live as a non-smoker. One hour at a time became 2, then 4, and then miraculously, one day I didn't think about them anymore. The other thing that I did was to examine my triggers -- foods, places, situations that were likely to make me want to smoke. So for a while I cut out garlicky foods, alcohol (esp. red wine), chocolate, coffee, dive bars and long, boring drives. Substituted movies, exercise and, when all else failed, just going to sleep.

Again, don't know if any of this might be helpful for your friend, everyone's addiction is a really individual experience. But I wish him (and you) all the best.

Mary-Helen