For parents of kids with autism or those who know some...

[VClute]

Now that the holiday season is approaching and I'm thinking about gifts for DS, I'm wondering what to do.

I have art supplies that DS shows no interest in. I have a couple of Little People sets that DS shows no interest in. He only likes things with wheels or rotors. And he doesn't play pretend games with them at all...

Am I supposed to expose him to as many things as possible, or think of it as a blessing that he doesn't need any more toys and won't notice if Santa doesn't bring him any? I read about other people getting kitchen sets or playstands and all of that would collect dust in our house until DD is old enough (*one hopes, anyway). Any advice?

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05
...and Abigail Rose, born 4/7/07

[VClute]

Now that the holiday season is approaching and I'm thinking about gifts for DS, I'm wondering what to do.

I have art supplies that DS shows no interest in. I have a couple of Little People sets that DS shows no interest in. He only likes things with wheels or rotors. And he doesn't play pretend games with them at all...

Am I supposed to expose him to as many things as possible, or think of it as a blessing that he doesn't need any more toys and won't notice if Santa doesn't bring him any? I read about other people getting kitchen sets or playstands and all of that would collect dust in our house until DD is old enough (*one hopes, anyway). Any advice?

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05
...and Abigail Rose, born 4/7/07

[nov04]

dd doesn't have autism (she survived a prenatal stroke), but we have lots of friends who do through our specialized playgroup. I have watched these friends of our blossom like crazy recently. It's really nice because its all happening at the same time even though the kids are different ages. i know its been tough for the parents who have to wait longer but the victory is so sweet.

Not having that much expertise in resources for kids with autism, just what I see with our friends, I would keep buying new toys. Its the same principle we use with our dd. Keep exposing them to these new and great things, they'll do something with them eventually.

[nov04]

dd doesn't have autism (she survived a prenatal stroke), but we have lots of friends who do through our specialized playgroup. I have watched these friends of our blossom like crazy recently. It's really nice because its all happening at the same time even though the kids are different ages. i know its been tough for the parents who have to wait longer but the victory is so sweet.

Not having that much expertise in resources for kids with autism, just what I see with our friends, I would keep buying new toys. Its the same principle we use with our dd. Keep exposing them to these new and great things, they'll do something with them eventually.

[sidmand]

I would mostly get things you know he would like, with a few things he *should* like thrown in there. DS showed no interest in his Little People sets until recently and now he can't get enough of them! They apparently really like to jump and sleep...

He doesn't do a ton of arts and crafts projects, but he likes coloring and playdough. He's not so keen on getting messy and we work around that for the most part.

Your son may change and grow and what he's interested in may change and grow too. But I know what you mean. I've read and seen that kids LOVE getting presents and opening them up and DS could really care less. I don't get him much for his birthday or the holidays, partly because he truly won't care, other people will get him things, and I do tend to buy things during the year that I think he will like or help him grow.

All of a sudden he's really into the alphabet. For almost two and half years he barely said a word and now we find out he knows most of his letters and a lot of his colors. Who knew? But sometimes they'll surprise you with things you didn't even realize they knew.

I would say to not go all out and buy anything big that he's probably not going to use (like a kitchen or playstands), but art supplies or Little People sets...you never know. You can even do it for *you*--IYKWIM.

I find it is a hard line in general though, not just toys, but life in general...do I expose him to lots of things, even though I know he (or I) may get frustrated and not enjoy it? Or do we not go because I don't think he will like it and we may both end up in tears? Sometimes I'm surprised. Sometimes we both end up in tears :(

I know this may be a bit more broad of an answer than you were looking for, but I figure, life doesn't stop...do what you feel comfortable with at the moment. We do the best we can, and when we know better/differently, we do better/differently!

Debbie
http://b3.lilypie.com/WT7Im4/.png[/img] (][img)


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev110pr___.png[/img] (][img)

[sidmand]

I would mostly get things you know he would like, with a few things he *should* like thrown in there. DS showed no interest in his Little People sets until recently and now he can't get enough of them! They apparently really like to jump and sleep...

He doesn't do a ton of arts and crafts projects, but he likes coloring and playdough. He's not so keen on getting messy and we work around that for the most part.

Your son may change and grow and what he's interested in may change and grow too. But I know what you mean. I've read and seen that kids LOVE getting presents and opening them up and DS could really care less. I don't get him much for his birthday or the holidays, partly because he truly won't care, other people will get him things, and I do tend to buy things during the year that I think he will like or help him grow.

All of a sudden he's really into the alphabet. For almost two and half years he barely said a word and now we find out he knows most of his letters and a lot of his colors. Who knew? But sometimes they'll surprise you with things you didn't even realize they knew.

I would say to not go all out and buy anything big that he's probably not going to use (like a kitchen or playstands), but art supplies or Little People sets...you never know. You can even do it for *you*--IYKWIM.

I find it is a hard line in general though, not just toys, but life in general...do I expose him to lots of things, even though I know he (or I) may get frustrated and not enjoy it? Or do we not go because I don't think he will like it and we may both end up in tears? Sometimes I'm surprised. Sometimes we both end up in tears :(

I know this may be a bit more broad of an answer than you were looking for, but I figure, life doesn't stop...do what you feel comfortable with at the moment. We do the best we can, and when we know better/differently, we do better/differently!

Debbie
http://b3.lilypie.com/WT7Im4/.png[/img] (][img)


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev110pr___.png[/img] (][img)

[egfmba]

I buy my kid toys that he likes and toys that I want him to use, ones that will challenge him. I don't expect him to love them, but I keep them around and try to engage him in using them every so often.

For example, he loves cars, but I still have an easel and paints in the house as well. He never wants to paint, but I ask him to anyway. Just to remind him it's there for him when he's interested.

I hope that helps. I try to focus on buying toys that have something developmental to offer, and I definitely try to get toys/puzzles, etc., that he uses at school, so it's something he's familiar with and brave enough to try at least once.

Good luck!

eva

[lizajane]

to be honest, i have no idea what i am talking about. but because i like you so much, i wanted to share the idea i had when i read your post. how about getting him unexpected things with wheels. like if he loves to sit and spin the wheels on a car, try an animals on wheels (like a pull toy) so that when he is spinning its wheels, or whatever he likes to do, YOU can talk about the object in a different way than you would talk about a car. even if you don't see him using the animal in the "right" way, you can still be telling him about animals, what kind it is, what it would say, eat, where it would live, etc.

my dear friend's son has been evaluated for aspergers because (with many other things) of his obsession with letters. he only wants to play with letter games/toys/puzzles. he won't color. he just writes letters and words. so i suggested she make coloring pages with giant letters on them, so he could color in the letter.

tell me to shut up if i am way off base. just a thought. best of luck in making some choices.

[kransden]

Would he like driving cars, tractors etc. through paint and making tracks? You could buy him a couple of special "paint cars" for Xmas.

I have no idea how severe your son is, but no matter what "he is who he is". What I mean by that is, I bought my dd cars and dinosaurs. They became families with mommies, daddies, babies etc. Never did she ever play with them like a boy would. I also substitute teach. Often the children would have an easy art project to do. Getting some of the little boys to do it was like pulling teeth. After they did a quick and crappy job, they were bored because the rest of the class wasn't done. I would offer them math worksheets to do. It was like I offered them an extra recess! So I guess my rambling point is I completely understand the exposure thing, but I wouldn't go out and get him a kitchen set. Maybe some type of blocks, boats, or a sand/water table to drive the cars in? Of course I could be way off base.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[mom2lm]

Hello,
Our oldest doesn't get into the developmental pediatrician until the end of this month (the waiting list was a year) so we don't have a diagnosis yet. The regional center said she didn't quite meet the criteria for Aspergers (she spins instead of flapping her hands and has a speech delay), but we have a similar situation here when it comes to toys.

My idea is to get the happy reaction on Christmas and then buy the other toys as your OT suggests them, but not as gifts . . . Like this Christmas, we're buying cars and that plastic Step2 train table where the tracks are built in and can't come apart (that would set off fits that I don't want to imagine.) The art supplies, puzzles, beads, etc are more like her work. When it's a birthday or holiday, I just buy more of the stuff she likes.

For Lucy, the best reactions come from bubbles, cars, ball drop toys, and little plastic figures from Disney. Oh and she spends hours playing with the obnoxious, loud, spinning moat on her weeble wobble castle. Our play kitchen is collecting dust, too . . .

Good luck!

[brittone2]

I was going to suggest something like the above poster mentioned. Get 2-3 smaller gifts that you think he'll enjoy. Save some of the money you would spend on holiday gifts (if you want to do this) and once he starts therapy, talk with his therapists and figure out what toys/materials they'll be using, so you can work on things at home. It obviously depends on his individual sensory needs, etc. but some things you could talk w/ them about are art supplies, fine motor stuff like lacing beads, a dressing frame (snaps, buttons, zippers), possibly an indoor or outdoor swing (again, depending on what his sensory needs they may suggest a specific type/shape of swing), etc. If he ends up getting any sort of ABA therapy, they may like having some materials to work on that he's using in therapy, etc.

If he has started therapy, you might ask the therapists for some suggestions, and if he's starting soon, maybe hold off on buying a lot until they get to know him a bit and can offer some suggestions.

Does he like music? Maybe some new CDs?

[octmom]

Liza, I like that you are thinking outside of the box. FWIW, what you suggested makes sense to me. :)

Jerilyn
DS, 10/03
DD, 3/06

[sidmand]

Totally OT, but DS also loves that moat! And we have the Step2 train table you're talking about (although right now the cover is on and we're using it as a base for Little People toys). I don't understand his fascination with the moat, but WTH?

Debbie
http://b3.lilypie.com/WT7Im4/.png[/img] (][img)


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev110pr___.png[/img] (][img)

[hardysmom]

Without knowing where he is on the spectrum...

I would ask your OT and/or SLP what they recommend for gifts. a lot of basic games from Wal-Mart (Mr Potato head, etc) can be great and may already be familiar. Even if he doesn't play games the "right" way, he may favor some things.

I try to get things I know my kids (with sensory processing disorders) will like as opposed to things they SHOULD like (but instead find difficult). Christmas is supposed to be fun... For example, at 3, DS was a wheel-and-wing man as well... instead of wrapping his gifts (his fine motor delay made it hard to unwrap and he didn't like to touch tape) I would do stuff like fill a BIG sand bucket with new cars. DS would spend all Christmas morning examining them and sorting out the keepers. He loved it.

At my house having everything out of the packaging is key. I try to use tissue and/or gift bags to cover things.

One year DS got a lot of therapy/vestibular stuff which was a BIG hit. Over the years we've put together our own little gym with door swings, bean bag chairs, a nice indoor slide, tumble forms, mini tramp, etc... An outside trampoline can also be great, if you have room.

That stuff is expensive so 1-2 things can be great for the "big gift" and given your DDs age, she would like it as well. Plus, it is big so it has a certain "wow factor" which even if my kids don't notice, I think I need to keep the spirit.

If you are within travelling distance to an IKEA they have knock-offs of a lot of the more expensive stuff like indoor swings, slides, mats etc.

And again, not knowing where your son sits, I can say that things DO change. Never say never... he may suddenly switch from cars to cooking (or sharks or planets).

Stephanie