*Update* Nonviable pregnancy - loss mentioned and a question about choices

[Clarity]

First of all, I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that replied with advice and thoughts. To those of you who shared your story of loss and m/c. A giant (((HUG))) and thank you for your generosity.

Secondly, I've decided to go ahead and do a D&C. It's a hard decision as my ob only does hospital/anethesia procedures. But, I wanted the best opportunity for quick recovery and return to normal cycles as possible. The time was adjusted from tomorrow at 4:00a.m. to this afternoon at 4:30, so I'm rushing about (I'm actually at work right now!) Dh can't be there with me because of the schedule change, but he'll be at home to put dd to bed which eases my mind a bit. I'll have my mom or gran there with me.

I've got to run, but again, thank you all so very much.

*********************
So...we had an appointment yesterday for an ultrasound at what would have been 10weeks. There we discovered that the pregnancy wasn't viable that the baby hadn't grown "on schedule".
I'm managing but I'd really appreciate some guidance about my options. The ob gave me the choice to wait to miscarry naturally or to have a D&C done this week. If I do the D&C, as I understand her, we can potentially find out *why* this pregnancy was not viable. IF this information is available, it could help in the future. However, the procedure is scheduled at 6:00a.m. and dh and I have to be at the hospital at 4:00a.m.! I have a CHILD at home. Finding someone, even G'ma to stay the night or come at 3:00a.m. is really not ideal.
If I choose the natural route, I don't have to be anethesized (I'm irrationally worried about being anethesized and not *coming to*. Remember, I said it was irrational.) But, I don't know how long it will take my body to go about this naturally. Which worries me that I may have to do a D&C anyway.

I'm doing okay, but I just don't have it in me to research this - and I research everything. I just can't make myself. Anyone have thoughts...is it generally accepted that D&C is the way to go?

[octmom]

No advice, but I wanted to say that I am very sorry for your loss.
:( (((hugs)))

Jerilyn
DS, 10/03
DD, 3/06

[caleymama]

No advice but just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry you're going through this. Many healing thoughts headed your way.

[BeachBum]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I chose to have the D&C. For me, I was just anxious to put it behind me. I also didn't really want to have to watch the miscarriage happen. It just would have upset me too much. My OB was also concerned about how long it would take my body to react.

I would start out by asking your OB for a different appointment time. If she can't see you at another time I'd just ask Grandma, or go by yourself and just have your DH or G'm pick you up after.
While emotional, the procedure itself was a breeze.

[cleo27]

I wish I had some answers for you, but I don't. I am thinking of you and sending hugs to you and DH.

Hugs,

[Katia]

((((Hugs)))) I am so sorry about your loss. I haven't quite BTDT -- had a miscarriage a few years ago but it occurred naturally and very, very early in the pregnancy, and I had a D&C several years before that but it wasn't related to pregnancy.

The D&C procedure and recovery were not bad in my case. I didn't have children at the time, and I think I'd probably want help around the house for a few days afterwards. Can they use something other than general anesthesia, if you are concerned about that?

Take care of yourself...I am sad for you and will keep you in my thoughts.

Katia
DS 2003 and DD 2006

[lovin2shop]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I don't really have a lot of information for you, but I can share my experience in a similar situation. At my 10 week appoint, I also found out that I had a missed miscarriage. At the time, I was planning to leave at the end of the week for a previously planned vacation out of the country, so I had to make a decision quickly (couldn't go on the trip if I didn't have the D&C). I didn't have a lot of time or energy for research so I just went with my gut and had the D&C. I really, really needed the vacation at that point for my own sanity (long time trying to conceive, second miscarriage), so that did factor somewhat in the decision. However, the biggest point for me was the genetic testing. I strongly felt the need to know what went wrong and it was some comfort to have that information, especially because it was a second miscarriage. Having said all that, the testing indicated that the miscarriage was due to a fairly common chromosomal abnormality. Therefore, there was nothing really that could be done in the future to prevent another miscarriage. So, while the information was good for me to know, it did not necessarily change anything about TTC again.

I had the exact same concerns about care for my DS in the early morning, and also scared about anesthesia as I'd never had it before. We ended up scrambling together plans to have a friend stay the night and take Drew to school in the morning. But, one tip if you do opt for the D&C, is that you probably do not need to get to the hospital that early! They generally pre-register you, and 45mins prior to the surgery would have been more than adequate in my case. So, I would definitely press them on pushing the time a bit later. As for the procedure itself, I have to say that it was not physically difficult for me. I had cramping afterward, but nothing that the Motrin prescription couldn't take care of completely (never needed the narcotics). My first miscarriage was natural (but at 6 weeks) and I was a bit more uncomfortable in this circumstance.

Again, I'm so sorry for you to have to go through this difficult time. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions. Big hugs!

[o_mom]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Did your OB mention a drug to induce the m/c? I can't think of the name off the top of my head, but it starts the m/c in a day or two. It would get things over quicker, but with out the anesthesia. Of course, like waiting, there is the risk it won't complete and you end up with a D&C anyway.

I don't think D&C is the way to go for everyone. Some people choose it to get it over with faster, others prefer to go through it privately. IIRC, the risks are about the same either way. You may want to ask the doctor what the chances of finding anything from the pathology are. I was told it is very rare that they find anything from a m/c that can be prevented in the future. Most are just random abnormalities. That may help with your decision.

[kdeunc]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at the end of September. I should have been 7 weeks but the baby never developed. My OB offered the option to wait for the miscarriage to begin on its own, a D&C under general or a D&C in the office right then with a cerivcal block (and valium if I wanted). As I was leaving town for my SILs wedding that night I chose the office procedure. It was not comfortable but not painful and it was over quickly. Most importantly for me, I did not have to wait for the MC to occur. I hope that you are able to make the best choice for you and again I am so sorry.

[lhk777]

Sorry to hear about your loss.
I can totally identify with you.

I was faced with the exact same situation less than a month ago.
I was going in for my 10 week ultrasound and the fetus was measuring 1 week smaller and there was no heartbeat.

I totally didn't expect it since this would have been my 3rd DC and I had easy pregnancies with my first 2 DC's.

I chose to do the D&C rather than waiting.
I didn't like the uncertainty of not knowing when, if anything, would happen on its own. Even if you wait and miscarry naturally there is still a chance that not everything will come out or a chance of infection so you still might have to go into the hospital.

It did take 2 hours for me to prep before the procedure - the paperwork, getting ready, the anesthesiologist coming by, and they also do some bloodwork.

I just remember the nurse putting on a cap to cover my hair and then I was out. The next thing I knew, I was in the recovery room. About an hour later I was able to go home. The procedure takes anywhere from 10-30 minutes depending on how long it takes the dr. to get everything out.

I took the next day off and was at work the following day.

Recovery was not too bad for me. I did have some major headaches since my hormones were probably going crazy but not much cramping or bleeding. I think it is different for everyone.

It has been 3 weeks now since my D&C and I still feel like my body is adjusting. It is difficult to know what to expect. But I am feeling more normal each day.

Hope this helps you somewhat.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Hang in there!

-Linda

[trumansmom]

My second miscarriage was a little earlier, but under similar circumstances. I chose to wait, and it only took a couple of days before the bleeding began. Then it was a day or two more before the miscarriage was complete. It was the right decision for me, but I know it isn't for everyone. I've had some issues with my cervix, and my irrational fear was having anything additional done that could cause damage. (And I know that was irrational, too.)

((((Hugs)))) You'll know pretty soon what the right decision is for you. Just remember to allow yourself the time to heal and grieve.

((((Hugs))))

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[SheriRae]

I know how devastating this is and I'm so sorry.

My first miscarriage happened naturally.

My second miscarriage was induced by medication. I was much like you in that I should have been around 11 weeks, however, no heartbeat was detected and growth was not anywhere near 11 weeks. I initially went home with the medication and waited 3 days hoping for a "natural" miscarriage when that did not happen I decided to use the medication. I apologize I do not know the name of the medication except that it started with a "M." Overall, I am happy with my decision to miscarry this way. It obviously is not for everyone. But it was comforting to me for it all to happen at home with my husband. Again, this is not for everyone but I did want to let you know of another option that you could ask your OB about.

Take care of yourself. Your dh and dd will bring you much comfort.

[Jo..]

I am sorry. Huge hugs.

I went through this in August. At about 8 weeks the baby had no heartbeat.

I thought long and hard about it, and decided to let nature take its course. It was tough. It took SEVERAL weeks (almost 3 IIRC) to start, and once it started it took several days to be over with. For the most part it wasn't painful (it felt like very early labor or strong menstrual cramps), but it was emotionally draining.

I think the decision boils down to your heart and what you feel is best. I couldn't cope with the idea of going into a hospital and having this emotional experience in such a cold, clinical setting. For me it was more comforting to go through it at home, surrounded by my family.

[JoyNChrist]

(((HUGS)))

I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. It sucks. There's really no other way to put it.

I decided to let nature take its course and wait it out. It was a very surreal experience for me, as the pregnancy was unplanned and unexpected, then finding out that there was no heartbeat...it was just all too much to get my head around. For me, it was important to experience the miscarriage, since that helped me come to terms with the idea that the pregnancy was real, and then that it was over. I'm not sure if that makes sense or not, but it was important for the grieving/healing process for me. It took a few days, and it wasn't very physically painful (basically like strong menstrual cramps and bleeding). I had help with DS, which was nice (gave me time to sleep and cry).

Whatever route you go, be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve your loss. We're here if you need to vent.

[NancyJ_redo]

I sent you an email via the boards.

[Tondi G]

I had the same issue (missed Miscarriage, growth stopped at 8 weeks and I was supposed to be 12 weeks.... had an U/S at 7 weeks and saw a healthy baby and heartbeat ) and decided to go with the D&C. I know a couple of women who opted to try to wait it out and MC naturally and ended up in the ER hemmoraging and having D&C's and blood transfusions. When I had my 2nd MC and again my body wasn't taking care of things I went with another D&C.... didn't have any question. Personally it was the best option for me. It provided a lot of closure and the bleeding was minimal afterwards. I felt fine later that day actually. The D&C was very quick and I didn't stay very long after I woke up.

Is there any way you can talk to your doctor about not having to do it first thing in the morning? I'm sure there are other people having surgeries that would much prefer the first slot in the am. Mine were both around 10am I think. I would think your doctor would understand the issues with having another child at home etc. It can't hurt to ask, worst thing they can say is no!

HUGS and I am so very sorry for your loss.

If you have any question that you think I could answer for you please feel free to email me!

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/01 and Aidan 5/05

[tylersmama]

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry about your loss. I don't have any personal experience, but a friend of mine recently went through this. She went in for her first appointment around what was supposed to be 8 weeks and they didn't find a heartbeat. She opted to wait for the m/c to happen naturally. She's a pretty crunchy/natural person so she really wanted her body to handle it on its own. She was in "pregnancy purgatory" (her words) for about 3 weeks I think before her body started m/cing. Much like Jo said, she said it felt like bad menstrual cramps or early labor. She doesn't regret the way she handled it at all.

I guess it just depends on who you are and what your personality type is. For my friend (who is very laid-back and c'est la vie in general), waiting for the m/c to happen naturally was the right thing. For someone who needs to be able to move on quickly, a D&C might be the way to go. Good luck with your decision.

[gatorsmom]

I really wanted to miscarry naturally. I was afraid of going into the hospital and having a procedure and all the risks that went with that (funny to think of how simple it really was considering I've had 2 c/sections since then). So I talked my doctor into letting me wait and naturally miscarry on my own.

Well, after 3 weeks nothing happened. I didn't even spot. So the doctor insisted i have a D&C to avoid getting an infection.

In the end, it wasn't a big deal. you go in, get an IV started, lay on the table and the next you know your in the recovery room recouping before you go home. They send you home with some drugs that make your uterus cramp and that's it. The hardest part of the whole thing was the the drug given to help me cramp. It made my legs cramp up too. It was awful. Finally, I called the doctor to see when I could stop with that drug because I needed to be able to function. We were going to be moving in 2 days so I needed to pack! I think I was packing the day after the surgery.

So, that's my story. If I had to go through that again, I'd try to go naturally again. But, the advantage to the D&C is the doctor knows he got all the fragments out and i think the risk of infection is minimized. plus, as you said, they can analyze the tissue to find out what went wrong. And, even if you do miscarry naturally, if you don't stop bleeding, you may end up in the hospital anyway. that's a tough one....

[JustMe]

No btdt, just hugs.

Any chance your child can stay at Grandma's?

Robyn

[ged]

First of all, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I am currently in a similar situation and have known about my blighted ovum for 1 week now. I wanted a D&C, and had one scheduled for last week, but b/c of a very slight uncertainty with the confirmatory ultrasound, I had to cancel the surgery and instead take some blood tests last week. Well, yesterday we find out that indeed I am having a miscarriage, and the soonest I can schedule a D&C is for next Wed.

So, to answer your question, I would go with a D&C, yet, at this point, I may wind up miscarrying naturally, as I have been spotting for over 4 days now, but no cramping yet. I am kinda just waiting around for the cramping to begin, and am not really able to move on. I want to be able to put this behind me

I would also prefer a D&C b/c that way I can make sure all the material is out and that there is no chance of infection. If you still think a D&C is right for you, perhaps you can re-schedule for the next available appointment (the one after the 6 am opening). Or, another good suggestion from a PP was to see if you DC can stay with grandma the night before.

OTOH, a natural miscarriage seems more doable to me at this point (since I have to wait a other week and half..) and maybe it won't be so bad? Who knows. I don't think there is a right choice. I guess you should just do what you feel most comfortable with, given the circumstances. Best of luck to you, and I hope your next pregnancy is long 40 weeks, plus!

[andie16]

I had a missed miscarriage with my first pregnancy at about 10 weeks. Had seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks and then it wasn't there at 10 and the growth was also not on track. I waited for about a week and then called my OB and asked for the D&C. For me, this was the best way to move on and deal with the pregnancy being over. I was able to have the D&C done in his office and was not put under general anesthesia, so was awake for the entire procedure. I guess I had some kind of local anesthetic, but I really don't remember. If I had to go through this again I think I would opt for the same thing. While not comfortable, it gave me the finality I needed when I needed it.

My thoughts are with you and your husband right now. Whatever you decide I'm sure will be the right thing for you and your family.

[bubbaray]

Many hugs to you at this difficult time.

I went through this in January 2006. Went in for my 8w ultrasound on a Wednesday, no HB. Saw my peri 2 days later, on a Friday, and had already started spotting by then. He gave me 3 options. Have a D&C, take the drugs or wait it out and see if it happened naturally. Given I was already spotting, he suggested that he see me on Monday. By Monday, it was pretty much all over. Saturday night was the worst of it and I won't sugar coat it, it was pretty rough. The peri had told me that regular Tylenol should suffice and it didn't. But, strangely, the pain helped me deal with the finality of the PGcy.

I have a friend IRL who has had 11 m/c's. Not a typo. She had 1 D&C and 10 "natural". I spoke with her and she suggested that I wait and see if it happened naturally. Everyone has to make their own decision, though.

FWIW, my peri told me that as this was my first m/c, he wouldn't recommend the genetic testing even if I did have a D&C. He told me he would do it if I wanted, but it wasn't his recommendation. I was surprised, but my RE said the same thing (all my PGys have been the result of IF treatments).

HTH


Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

DD#2: 01/2007

[Octobermommy]

I am very sorry for your loss.

I have had one D&C and other m/c. I much prefered the D&C because I did not bleed at all except for a little spotting. With one m/c I was bleeding 10+ days. Also, we did genetic testing on the baby. And when you are "under" for the d&c they don't use general anesthesia. For mine, the used a combo of narcotic like drugs. I was tired for the rest of the day but they can also use a concious sedation which wears off about 15 minutes after the procedure.

Please take care.

[MommyAllison]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have any personal experience, but a dear friend had a similar experience last summer. She was about 12 weeks along but hadn't seen her OB yet and miscarried at home. It was a pretty hard, emotional experience for her, as it happened at night while her DH and two kids were sleeping. She had been having some cramping that day and was kind of expecting it, but it was still very difficult. I believe they did have some testing done afterwards, and I don't think she had a D&C. Hugs to you as you may this difficult decision.

Allison
Mama to DD 11/05

[Mamma2004]

{{{Hugs}}} to you. I am so sorry for your loss.

I had a similar choice to make in July 2003 and I opted - for many reasons - to wait it out and let my body miscarry naturally. While it was a horrific experience, I tried to find comfort in the fact that I was at home with my husband and not in a hospital. It did take a few days longer than planned but I don't regret my decision to "lose" and grieve in the privacy of my own home.

I am so sorry you are going through this horrible time. May you find peace...

Stephanie

[nov04]

I'm so sorry. I wish I had some advice for you.

[kijip]

I am so, so sorry for what you are dealing with.

After three miscarriages that started on their own (2 after a reassuring early u/s), I had a 4th, non-viable pregnancy. I was around 12 weeks when it was determined to be un-viable. I decided that time to do the D&C and get it over with. After three at home, I just could not handle the idea of waiting for it to happen. That time, the D&C was the best option for me.

As for determining cause, after the D&C they were just as puzzled as they were by the first three. It is uncommon for them to be able to conclude the exact cause of 1st trimester mcs, as I understand it.

The third option is to ask them for a prescription that will start the m/c for you- mifepristone (RU 486) is the drug often used. It can take away the angst of waiting, waiting, waiting but also give the comfort of being at home and avoiding sedation if that is important to you.

Clearly it is a highly personal decision. Whatever route you choose will be best for you.

Hugs.

[sadie427]

I'm so sorry. I had two m/c recently, one in April and one in September, both at about 7-8 weeks. The first one I was already bleeding and cramping. I was offered the options of just waiting or taking Misoprostol and I chose the latter. I didn't have to wait, but did pass everything at home. I had strong cramps for a few hours, manageable w/ meds and passed the tissue. I had a follow up u/s showing everything seemed to be gone. I bled for about 2 weeks though. Also, at 3 or so weeks out my HCG level was still 700, which was probably part of why I stayed so emotional for so long, and didn't have a period for a while.

The second one I saw coming (lost pregnancy symptoms, so checked HCG levels and they weren't doubling.) I chose the D and C because I wanted things to be over more quickly. I also don't like the idea of anesthesia but wasn't intubated, just IV meds and some gas. I was able to negotiate with the anesthesiologist and avoid the more long acting meds so I could get home sooner. There was a lot of waiting around in the hospital but the actual procedure was very fast and I had almost no bleeding at all afterwards. HCG levels went down very fast and my period came back quite fast, even ovulated quite soon after the D and C.

I actually had DH stay home w/ DS and had a good friend come with me to the hospital, perhaps thats an option for you? We caught up on gossip while we were waiting. I think she was actually better emotional support at that particular moment because she wasn't emotionally involved in the pregnancy.

So overall, both options were hard, but the D and C went more smoothly for me and the emotional and physical recoveries were faster. Just waiting never felt like an option for me personally.

PM me if you want to talk.

[Bens Momma]

I went through the same thing at 11 weeks. As it was a tough choice, I chose the D&C. I had some light bleeding/spotting, but all & all it was fairly quick and painless. I would ask your OB about scheduling possibilities and explain your needs with DC at home. However, I think you'll want DH and Grandma there for that day anyway as you should rest. It's a personal choice and as you can see from PP, people have done it both ways. Above all, know that you are not alone in your loss, feel free to talk about it to get support, and get a little help for a day or so. I was stunned at how many ladies came out of the woodwork to share their stories of a miscarriage and offer support to me, I had no idea that some had had one until I talked about mine.

I'm truly sorry for your loss & hope you find comfort in making a decision either way!

[buttergirl12]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing in April 2006. I actually found out on my birthday. It's really about your personal preference. I was offered the D&C and the drug. I remember my OB/GYN telling me there is a risk of having your uterus punctured with the D&C and with the drug there is a risk of hemorrhaging. The D&C would have been quicker but I had a child at home and no family around. I also wanted to deal with this in private. I waited until Friday night to take the drug so I didn't have to take off from work and to give it a chance to happen naturally. I was bleeding pretty badly for a few hours but the cramping wasn't too bad. I was bleeding and spotting for more than a week. I also had to go back to the office for another ultrasound to check if everyhting came out.


M
WAHM to J 10/2003 and N 6/2007


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[missym]

No advice, but I'm sending big hugs your way. I'm sorry.

Missy, mom to Gwen '03 and Rebecca '05

[brittone2]

No advice, just letting you know you are in my thoughts.

[glbb35]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is something that only you and others who have gone through it can truly understand. I found such comfort from getting on the computer and talking with other moms who had experienced what I was feeling. I realized that I was not alone and that I would make it through this difficult time. I was completely devastated at nearly 12 weeks when the ultrasound tech told me there was no longer a heart beating. I was actually hysterical. At the time my DH worked and lived across the country in CA and we on the east coast. That was the worst for me having to call him and tell him to catch the next available flight home. I was so devastated that my doctor immediately scheduled the D&C for the next morning at 6:00am. I had grandma watch our other ds and dh arrived just hours before we left for the hospital. I cried all day and felt such a loss. I could not even face other family members and friends. My first miscarriage ended on it's own early on so I had not developed that attachment quite yet. This was so different and I was so attached and happy about this baby. I felt early on that it was a girl and I felt such loss that she was gone.

My doctor suggested the d&C instead of going naturally since they did not know when the actual loss occurred (somewhere between 8 -11 1/2 weeks). He wanted to have it all removed so that there was no chance for infection and he said it would give my body a better time frame for healing. I was weird about the anesthesia as well but the meds they gave me to sleep initially before the anesthesia put me to sleep and I was able to not have any other hospital memory. I was home like in 2 hours and actually fine by the end of next day. The hardest part for me was the emotional healing. I was depressed for weeks but slowly emerged and worked towards getting my mind and body in shape for trying again. We waited three months through three good cycles and got pregnant the very next time. We were shocked and then nervous as well because I just did not think I could go through that again. I did not allow myself to become attached till nearly 16 weeks although I was so hopeful and happy to be pregnant. Several weeks after the D&C and met with my doc & found out the results from the genetic tests that were done. The baby had a bad chromosome defect (can't remember which # now) but it could have grown in my for months but would not have survived beyond 7-8 months. No baby has survived this and it was just a fluke. I actually appreciate that it happened early on instead of further long in the pregnancy. My Doc said actually it is quite common and he was glad we did everything the way we did. He said I had been the most upset he had ever seen and it really hit him hard because he knows (his wife lost 2 babies)how I felt and what a long process this had been already.

Now we have a healthy, happy beautiful 16 mnth old boy who is such a joy. I keep in my trunk my folder with the baby's first pictures and the info pack they sent you home with. For me it is a way to remember and appreciate what we have. We hope to try for another child soon and I am the most scared of a loss again. You have to do what is right for you and your family. Just know that you are not alone. This BBB board is great for support and the women here I think are fabulous. Reach out to your friends. You might be surprised at how many of them have gone through similar experiences and you just did not know. You WILL get through this and God bless you and your DH.

[ha98ed14]

Prayers for you for speedy recovery!

[SASM]

I am just seeing this and wanted to express my condolences to you and your DH. I am so sorry about your loss and that you have to expeerience this. I have been there and it can be soooooo difficult. The one thing that I read that comforted me the most was from a "Mothering" article. This is a description/exerpt from the article:
----------------------------
Spirit Babies

Young children often describe memories of pre-existence. The July/August 2002 issue of Mothering Magazine includes an unusual example in an article titled "Spirit Babies."

In an excerpt from her book Baby Catcher (Simon & Schuster, 2002), nurse-midwife Peggy Vincent tells how her twelve-year-old son Colin comforted her as she mourned a miscarried pregnancy. At 41, the pregnancy was unplanned and fairly unwelcome, but when it ended, Peggy "fell in love with the baby that was not to be." Her son then explained to her about "Spirit Babies" and why the same soul would return to her if she became pregnant again.

Colin said that every woman has "a circle of babies that goes around and around above her head, and those are all the possible babies she could have in her whole life." Every month, one baby is first in line to be conceived. If the pregnancy miscarries, that baby goes back into the circle, but "it becomes a Spirit Baby and all the other babies give it cuts" so that it is always first in line. Colin said that he knew about Spirit Babies because he himself was one, and had returned to his mother after a previous miscarriage.
-----------------------------

The idea of "spirit babies" was just sooo comforting to me. I hope that you find comfort soon. For my first m/c it took me a while to find a peaceful place but, for my second, having DS REALLY helped me emotionally. Hopefully having your DD will be a huge comfort to you in your healing.

As sad as I am about my miscarriages and the difficulties of going through them, in hindsight, I feel like they truly were a blessing. For one, if they'd developed into a baby, they probably would not have been healthy and that essentially is what one wants for their children, obviously. Secondly, God blessed DH and I with three amazing children, who wouldn't be here if it weren't for my m/c's. Does this make sense? I am sleep deprived.

Also...I had a D&C for #1 and I do not regret it one bit. I DID have a huge issue with not having closure but I really do not think that I could have handled it on my own at home. Plus, I was hoping that everything would have been "cleared" then, instead of possibly having remnants left behind, if naturally, and requiring a D&C anyway.

HUGE HUGS and good luck!!

[elephantmeg]

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that your recovery is going well. Thinking of you.

[KBecks]

Just to offer some hugs and I hope you have an easy recovery. *hugs*