4 yr old doesn't want to go to preschool. A phase?

[chlobo]

DD went to preschool 2 days a week last year. It was a struggle the whole year. She didn't seem like she liked it. Up until the last 2 weeks. Then she loved it & wanted to spend time with her friends.

She changed preschools this year & is going someplace different. She is not with the same kids as last year. However, she's been going there for 2 months so it's not really "new" anymore. Just in the last week she's been saying she doesn't want to go. She has no real reason for not wanting to go. Just now she was crying saying she's too tired. Too tired to go to preschool but not too tired to have a playdate afterwards. Just doesn't make sense.

Is this just some weird phase? Do you think she just doesn't like the preschool?

[hillview]

I have not BTDT but (and you may have already done this) maybe ask her teachers how it is going once DD is there? Is she happy once she is there? She may just prefer to be with you but once there she is happy as a clam.
GOOD LUCK!
/hillary

[firstbaby]

Our DS went through a phase similar to this when our second came along. It wasn't right away, either, but when the baby was a couple of months old. Honestly, I think it's hard for them because they understand that the baby gets to stay home and spend time with you.

If she has seemed to enjoy the preschool up until now, I would stay consistent in attending preschool unless you start to suspect that the preschool isn't the right fit for her. Also, have you spoken to the teacher to find out of there's anything else going on? Maybe a child doesn't play nicely with her or something? I would probably speak with the teacher first.

[luvmypeanut]

My DD loves school but if she knows DS gets to stay home from his school she gets whiny and says she's too tired to go. But if I lie and tell her DH is taking DS to school later then she's fine.

Her friend also started telling her mom she doesn't want to go to school. She finally admitted that it was because she was being hit by another girl in the class. The mom talked to the teacher and all is fine now. So you should talk to the teacher in case other things are going on.

[dhano923]

I think it's a phase because we're going through the same thing here with DS. Every morning he wakes up and says he doesn't want to go to school. (he goes 5x/week). Every morning I ask him why and he comes up with something different -- tummy hurts, my friends don't like me, I don't like my friends, etc. Once he gets there, he's fine, but it's the whole getting there part that is really annoying!

That being said, we are in the process of finding a Montessori school. We think DS would do better in that environment and teaching structure better than the traditional learning environment he's in right now. We're hoping to make the switch after the Christmas holiday break. I'm hoping he will enjoy school more there and want to go.

[chlobo]

I actually have a conference with the teachers today so I will see what they say. As far as I know, she's ok when she's there. I haven't heard otherwise, although there was one incident where they were having a fire drill and I had to go keep her company for it.

Honestly, if she knew how boring it is with DS maybe she'd be more inclined to go. I'm seriously too tired to do anything with him.

[kijip]

Ahh, your daughter and Toby seem to be having the same stage. Toby will also insist in the morning that he is "too tired of going to school today". He only goes part days 4 days a week but he will fuss and moan and groan all the way there.

It has become better in the last few weeks, mainly because he is really into the fire safety curriculum they have now and is excited for the real fire truck to come this week. :P

Next week post fire truck, I sort of expect it to go back to being too tired to go. That said, when he comes home his talks and talks about all the fun he had so I am not too worried.

[niccig]

DS goes 3 times a week. On school days he doesn't want to go to school. On non-school days he does want to go to school. When he doesn't want to go, we ask why and most times it's because he wants to stay with mummy. Once we talk about how he can play with the trucks in the sand pit, he wants to go again.

As long as she's happy once she's there, I'd say it's because she wants to be with you, and now that DS is with you, she wants to stay at home even more. I'm not sure how to get through this phase though. Maybe someone else or the teacher has an idea for making school seem more fun than staying at home.

[bisous]

You know, I don't really know if this is a phase or not. I'm glad to see that you are following up with the teacher. That will let you know how she is doing while she is actually at school. If all is well there then maybe she just misses you and feels like you and the new baby are having fun without her. It does seem from her message that she just might be a little slow to warm up to new environments. Like last year, she finally liked her class at the very end of the school year. Possibly preschool is just still too new for her but she'll like it if she continues to go. I don't know if this is very helpful. I hope you get to the bottom of this! I read your threads with interest because it seems like our kids are about the same ages. I will say that my DS doesn't miss me at all and begs to go to preschool but his personality is very boisterous and outgoing which has its own set of challenges to accompany it. Let us know how your meeting with the teacher turns out.

Jen