Kid private parts - what do you call them?

[almostmom]

I know you are supposed to use the anatomically correct terms, and that was easy for a boy. But what do you use for a girl? To me, the correct word is labia for the part DD can see and touches, but my DH doesn't think that's appropriate, so I'm assuming others might agree. Vagina is inside, so not correct in my mind, though I have friends who use that. So far, we say "girl parts," but I know that is not specific enough for safety reasons.

So parents of girls, what term do you use?

Thanks!!!!

[MommytoEliana]

We say either pubic area or vulva. It's hard with a girl, I agree!

Cheri

[KBecks]

I would do labia or vulva.

[o_mom]

I think "vulva" is the correct term for all the external female genital organs (labia is just part of it).

We haven't had to touch on this much with three boys, but they do know all their own parts (penis, balls/scrotum/testicles, anus). I guess "balls" is a slang term, but specific enough and if I say "scrotum" or "testicles" they know what I mean. When they ask about me, usually I say "vulva" and leave it at that. I'm sure we'll have more detailed discussions later about anatomy of boys and girls.

[californiagirl]

We use labia mostly. Vagina is too inaccurate for me. She tends to say "front bottom" anyway.

[almostmom]

front bottom. that has me laughing out loud at my desk!

[citymama]

You mean we can't continue to say bum-bum and pee-pee? And I'm only partly kidding. I know we're supposed to be anatomically correct (with vulva and rectum? really?) but we haven't been able to bring ourselves to do so, as parents of a 20 month girl. I'm 34 and still using the words from my childhood to refer to private parts!

I would like to hear more about the safety reasons you mentioned, since those reasons would prompt me to reconsider. Thanks for initiating this conversation.

[JBaxter]

If your child ever needs to tell you that some one touched her rectum or vulva she sound much more credible than saying someone rubbed on her bum bum or pee pee. There should be no shame in refering to your rectum, penis, testicles, vulva, vagina etc. There is no difference than your eye ear or breast. Its like there is a secret shame in not saying the word.

I know a woman who when she was young told about abuse that was happening to her in her home but since she used the "silly" word for her vulva and vagina she was not believed and wasnt till years later all the details came out. She is about my age so we are talking 35yrs ago She was actually the one who told me to please teach my children the proper names because she still thinks to this day had she called them by the real names someone would have believed her.

[Moneypenny]

We say vulva for the outer parts and vagina for the inside. I grew up referring to the whole kit and kaboodle as vagina, so I did have to train myself to switch to vulva. DH just tries to avoid any mention of it at all, lol!

Susan
mama to my 3-year old cutie pie

[Fairy]

Boy house here, too. In order of most common, we use pee-pee and penis. We don't really refer to the testicles much, but when we do, DS knows it's his scrotum, and the first time he asked what it was, I said, that's your scrotum, and he yelled, "SCROTUM?!" It was all manner of hysterical.

We've discussed girl parts, too, and the reference there has always been vagina and pee-pee.

Our bottom parts we call tushie pretty much. Anus not so used, actually, but if needed, I don't have a problem with anatomical terms.

[ellies mom]

Another thing to consider is the confusion that can arise if the adult is unsure what body part the child is referring to. This was actually the reason we were given.

[tarahsolazy]

The most correct anatomic term for the outer parts is vulva, so that's what we use. It felt weird the first few times, but we're going with it.

We do jokingly refer to her vulva as her "area" with the verbal quotes in place.

[BeachBum]

As for safety reasons, I think it is in case your child need to ever talk with someone other than you about their privates. Sure, abuse is the scary reason but others like getting hurt on the playground seem pretty typical.

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

We tell dd that they're her special private girlie bits. Ds was easier I think because there aren't as many parts. She'll learn the specifics later in life.

[o_mom]

It's not like we go around saying "anus" all the time. In the context of baths, diaper changes or potty training they have each asked at some point what that was and I tell them. Their "bottom" is their butt cheeks, but that specific part is the anus. And, if, g-d forbid, they were molested, I would darn sure want them saying "He touched my anus", not "He touched my bum-bum". The former is going to be taken way more seriously by anyone than the latter, especially if that person doesn't know what you refer to as "bum-bum".

[Jenn98]

Let me jsut share a little story with you and you can all decide if you want to go the route of using correct terms. ;)

A few weeks ago I took DD#1 and my MIL to a new Target right around the corner from my house. It was packed. DD#1 was walking around and doing a pretty good job of staying near me, but she walked all the way to the end of the toilet paper/paper towl along the back side of the store. She was looking at the huge wall of toilet paper and I guess it clicked in her mind what toilet paper was for because she then ran back to me screaming "VULVA! VULVA! VULVA! VULVA! VULVA!" the whole way. I stood there thinking, "Is this really happening to me?!"


edited to fix typos

[citymama]

That is a funny story!

Point well taken regarding wanting perfect clarity in case of any situation where your child needs to communicate a problem. Absolutely no question about it - you want to make sure that s/he is able to communicate that info accurately.

My question is: why would I take it less seriously if my child said someone touched her pee-pee rather than if she used the word vulva? At 20 months, she refers to her private parts in another language (the second language we use at home) in any case. IMO, all that matters is that it is comprehensible to us and her other childcare providers. As she gets older, of course we will teach her the correct anatomical terms but at the same time, for every day home conversation, I don't feel the need to use terms that I myself don't use on a daily basis. Doing so does not reflect shame or embarrassment or treating these parts differently from others - hey, she calls breasts "boobs," toes "toesies" and her throat is her "inside neck!" (Her words not ours!) Nonetheless, I know exactly what she is talking about!

[JoyNChrist]

I'm gonna have a hard time with this if we ever have a daughter. For unknown reasons, I've always referred to "that area" as the "cha-cha", and I still do to this day. DH found that hilarious when we first met, but it stuck. So if we ever have daughters, I don't know what I'm going to do. I know I should use a "correct" term, but that's going to be really hard for me to get used to.

[jgriffin]

You know what your child calls her private parts, so no doubt you would take it very seriously. Your child's teachers or friends do not necessarily know what she calls them, so it would be less clear to them. The term "pee-pee" is sort of obvious, but I've heard of other kid terms for their privates that were not so obvious (e.g. an adult I know says that as a child he was taught to call his penis his "go-go.")

[TraciG]

VAGINA

[Aunt to sweet baby boy]

>Another thing to consider is the confusion that can arise if
>the adult is unsure what body part the child is referring to.
>This was actually the reason we were given.

This happened to me at work one day. A girl was pulling on her pants like she needed to go to the bathroom. I asked if she did and she said no, my underwear was inside my (indeterminable word). I had no idea what she was saying but after she repeated the word a few times I figured it was one of the two parts. It did bother me, because that was not the correct word and I think that children should not use a made up word for that area.

Avi says his penis and his butt. He is not too interested in the area yet. We are still waiting to begin seriously potty training when he is ready, hopefully by the end of the year.

Ilana, aka Nana to my sweet nephew Avi

http://lilypie.com/pic/071010/DkhE.jpg[/img]http://b4.lilypie.com/iOMom7/.png[/img][/url]

[almostmom]

Thanks for all the responses - I have a lot to think about! And a little to laugh about too... giggle giggle...

As always, BBB moms provided some much needed guidance and ideas. Thanks.

[o_mom]

I think some of it depends on the specific word - I've heard some pretty out there things. Additionally, some people use a general "privates" which covers anything between the belly button and the knees. You may know what she means, but as she gets older and is possibly with teachers or other adults, they need to know what she is talking about (I mean, does she mean that someone touched her genitals or her urine? - that is the kind of ambiguity that gets people acquitted).

I think with other words, like "toesies" it is different because you don't refer to them that way all the time and if you do, you use the words interchangably - if you never use the correct terms and talk around things with euphamisims, it makes it kind of a forbidden thing and can make a kid feel that they are shameful. Changing the terms later can be hard.

I'm not sure if this is clear, just sharing my thinking on the subject, FWIW!

[Fairy]

I, too, say cha-cha quite a bit. Also hoo-ha. As in, "Britney Spears is flashin' her cha-cha all over creation," and "Why or why did Christina Aguilera have to leave the house without her underwear and show her pregnant hoo-ha?"

[Fairy]

Hee!

[swampnurse]

Well, i might as well add our terms since no one else mentioned them.

When i met my husband he called his genitals "Junk". Thanks to a good friend i call my genitals "Stuff" and the anus is a "Tooter"! We taught our son to use "penis" and "sac" but he knows the whole area as "Junk" if we happen to call it that. The preschool teachers cackled when they read my application out loud that said Max refers to his anus as a "Tooter". When he needs some Aquaphor on his reddened anus, he even calls it "Tooter cream". And I am a NURSE! Shameful!:)

That said, we do intend on teaching both my son and my 15 month old daugher correct terns very soon.

Alyssa
"When you know better, you do better. But you never pay full price"

[Melanie]

I could have written your post myself. It was SO easy with Ds. I feel like it's multiple choice with Dd. I also couldn't bear to say 'vagina' b/c really that is not what she's seeing. Vulva is so hard for me to say, I don't know why! But, I try. Dh said "girl parts," the first time he read "Once upon a potty" to her. LOL.

[BaileyBea]

Well one day I realized my DH beat me to the "parts" naming. He told my son to call it his "Wee Wee." I quickly jumped in and taught him to say "PENIS" SO now any time I change his diaper he proudly talks about his penis. And I chuckle ever time.

Daughter is next and I have no idea.........

[TahliasMom]

hmmm. DD's Dad started calling it cookie and booty so that kind of stuck. Her teachers know this also so I guess we dont see the need to use the proper terms.

[Lmoor]

Eeeek! I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think "cookie" is particularly troublesome from a safety viewpoint (especially if teachers or other adults knew about it). We went to a sexual abuse/safety seminar, and this one is difficult. Imagine: "Teacher touched my cookie" "Uncle ate my cookie" At this age, they are so verbal but also have such trouble expressing things accurately. That would be incredibly confusing to you and your child should something bad ever happen. The other interesting thing the person told us is that sexual predators might be discouraged from assaulting children who use the correct terminology b/c it means that their parents have discussed the issue with the child.

We settled on vagina b/c if anyone touches anything on or around it, then I want to know about it! I guess from a medical standpoint, being more specific would be helpful though!

[n2ou]

I took a class through church (required when working with children) and they had abusers talk about how they choose victims. Two men in the video pointed out that a child that cannot really name sexual (or body) parts or "cutifies" (is that a word?) them is a better match for the abuser. I had never realized how much planning goes into sexual molestation.

Now, off to google the WHY?