Even more q's about big boy/big girl beds--from a cosleeping family

[Hallie_D]

I've read through the previous posts on big boy/big girl beds, and I still need help!

We are moving in 2 weeks to a condo with 3 bedrooms and want to give DS his own room. He is 21 months old and cosleeps. We just can't decide if we should go with a toddler bed or a twin. Some other info--DS is very tiny (21 lbs, 31 inches) so unless he has a MEGA growth spurt, he will probably get a few years out of a toddler bed. On the other hand, I'm worried that transitioning him out of our bed will take so long that it will be a waste of money anyway! :)

If anyone has inspirational stories about children magically and easily transitioning from the family bed to either a toddler or twin, I'd love to hear (read) them! We are ready for him to be in his own bed, but we don't want to overwhelm him with too much change at once.

So I guess I'm looking for advice both on how to transition and the type of bed we should transition to.

TIA,

[Jeanne]

Does he get easily excited by new things? I made a big point of the "new room". We took our DD out of the crib at 26 months so that our new baby could use it. She transitioned without a problem into her new full size bed and new bedroom. We really tried to have fun with it so she embraced it quite well. We made her foot and handprints in clay and hung them, hung some "artwork" of hers, put her animals in there, her initials in big letters, etc..
You could continue to co sleep while you are decorating his room but set his bed up right away. That way, he'll see it everyday and just might want to sleep in there.
I suggest that you go with the twin because you may end up sleeping in it with him in the beginning. He's used to snuggling and you can't do that with a toddler bed. It might make his transition easier if you are there with him. Start the night off with him but leave when he falls asleep. If he wakes up, go back in. As time goes on, he will probably start to get more comfortable in there by himself.
HTH! Good luck!

[Hallie_D]

Jeanne, thank you--excellent point about sleeping in the bed with him and one I never would have thought of on my own. Until we'd bought the toddler bed and I'd broken it! ;-)

He does get excited about new things, so we are definitely going to make his room fun. We actually close this Friday and plan to spend the weekend painting (MIL is coming up to help with the childcare situation) but don't move until March 6. We'll let him visit the new place (and his room) a few times before we move.

[Jeanne]

I'm sure he'll warm up to it especially if it's full of stuff he loves!

Good luck with the close and move!

[myllam]

Hi,

We co-slept with DS up until a couple of months ago (he is 2-1/2). He went straight to a twin bed. We actually bought a bunk bed and used the top bunk as his bed since it has railings (the bottom bunk sat unassembled in the closet). It went a lot more smoothly then we thought it would. At first when we were preparing his room, we kept talking about his room being all his.

Is your DS in love with a certain thing? Our DS loves firetrucks, so we went and got him firetruck bedding and a firetruck stuffed toy pillow as his "comfort" item. We also put some of his favorite toys in his room and a bunch of his stuff animals at the foot of his bed. For a few days before we would play on his bed and he kept calling it his "fire engine" :) The first night, we took him to his room and put him in bed and he didn't fight it at all. He did wake up a few times, and we had to go comfort him. He is so efficient at getting out of bed that he would be in the hallway before we got to his room, so we would pick him up and put in back into his bed. We did lay down with him, and left when he was asleep, but I believe the one book I read that actually addressed transitioning from co-sleeping said it may work better if you don't actually lay down with him, but sit next to the bed and comfort him from there (something about letting them get used to the idea that they are not sleeping with you).

After about a couple of weeks, he stopped waking up in the middle of the night so much. Occasionally now he still does, but usually when there is a reason (noise, wet, or he isn't feeling well).

One thing we learned not to do was ever let him back into our
bed in the morning to get some more sleep. After about a
month, we thought it would be okay, so we let him crawl into
bed with us one saturday morning to get a little nap in, and
sure enough the next night, he kept pointing to our bed and
made a fuss about going into his room.

This last week, we put the bunk bed together and he is sleeping on
the bottom bunk without the railing just fine.

Anyways, good luck and HTH,

[Hallie_D]

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I like the idea of getting him something he likes on the bedding and as a pillow. Elijah is also fond of fire trucks, and he also loves monkeys and bicycles. Maybe I can find him some Curious George bedding! His menagerie of animals that he wants to sleep with seems to be growing exponentially, so that will definitely help him. He might not have mommy and daddy next to him at night, but he will have two large bears, a dog, two ducks and a cloth baby!

The one thing I'm really struggling with now is if we should make the transition immediately, as soon as we move in, or if we should let him get used to the house and the idea of his own room for a few days to a week. What you did with your son definitely points me in the direction of waiting for a little while.

Tomorrow is the closing! I'll update the thread when we move.

Thanks everyone for your help and good wishes!