View Full Version : Do you let your toddler pick what they want to wear?

08-02-2004, 11:44 PM
Nick has become very picky about what he will wear. Yesterday we had Alex's christening and we ran into some issues with Nick's outfit. He refuses to wear any shirts with buttons, so I decided he could wear dressier overalls (he loves denim overalls) with leather sandals. Well, he hated the overalls, but after a huge fit, quit complaining about them. He would have nothing to do with shoes, even though they are similiar to others he has, so I relented and put him his tennis shoes. He also insisted on wearing his Cincinnati Reds ball cap and sunglasses to the church as he never leaves the house w/o them on, but he would not take them off once we got to church. So, there he was, on the alter with us wearing his hat and sunglasses. I just wasn't up for the tantrum I knew would come in front of everyone, however, I got the feeling others felt I was being too easy with him. I have always felt that clothes were a battle not worth fighting over since there are bigger issues to be fought. What do you think?

Mom to Nick 10/01/01
& Alex 04/27/04

08-03-2004, 01:35 AM
My DS HAS to pick out his own clothes every day. The funny thing is, though, once in a while I try to rush him and pick something out, which he immediately rejects and makes me put them back... then he often picks out for himself just what I picked! LOL!! He didn't really like button up shirts either, but he picked out one with a Hawaiian type print that looks similar to the ones DH wears and he loves to wear it to church. Could you take Nick shopping to pick out his own "dressy" shirt? Maybe one that is like Daddy's shirts? Personally, I've really stopped fighting with him about it, but I will discuss clothing with him. Like if he's put on jeans and it will be HOT, I tell him it's going to be hot and he will probably want shorts. Or if it's a dressy affair, I'll tell him straight out, it would be better to wear something a little nicer because he would look funny in his tie-dyed shirt (for example) when everyone else is wearing nice clothing. So I try to guide him by letting him know what is appropriate and letting him choose. Of course, sometimes he wears the tie-dyed shirt to church. Not worth the tantrums, though, IMO. HTH!

08-03-2004, 11:32 AM
I usually give a choice of 2 things to my 2 yo. That way, he has some choice, but not an open-ended selection where we are going through 20 outfits to find something he likes.

I did this with my older son too when he was this age and it worked great.

pamela mom of 3
08-04-2004, 06:31 PM
Yes, and i have had some MAJOR issues with him in regards to clothing, one year he would NOT wear long sleeved anything, this year he hates buttons or snaps...last year all pants bugged him except his pricey hanna ones LOL :P

My girls were not this bad however, so i dunno maybe he is just extra sensitive?

Anyhow i agree, pick your battles! Right now he loves being naked so if he'll wear any clothes at all i'm happy ;)

~Pamela Mom Of 3



08-11-2004, 06:14 PM
I think I'm very lucky in that Kathleen, who's almost 3.5, still doesn't insist that she pick out what she wants to wear. Most days she could care less. Sometimes though, if she doesn't like whatever I pulled out, she will run into her closet and pick something else out, or just make her usual blanket suggestion: "I want to wear a dress." So the capris go back in the drawer and out comes a dress.

If she starts to get overly picky, I give her a choice of 2 and that's it.

08-12-2004, 02:21 AM
That is a funny mental picture. =)

Sometimes Ds wants to decide, but most of the time there are just a few set items which he refuses to wear, and anything else is fine. He does not like tank-tops at all and will still recount the time I made him wear one (it was hot and we were to be outside) and how he was not really upset b/c the car wash was scarey but instead "b/c I was wearing a tank top." Another is a rainbow tie-dyed shirt and of course a Hawaiian outfit my Father and stepmother brought him back from Hawaii saying, "Oh please send us a picture when he wears it." LOL.

Some days he will ask for something other than I ahve picked, but I can usually work it so he picks part of the outfit and I pick the other part to match. On occasion he will insist upon his frog rainboots though, usually when it is 90 degrees outside. For the most part we just work it out. I understand what you mean about a tantrum and not wanting to cause one, but I also don't want Ds to think he can tantrum out of something. So if I see a situation arising I will try to come up with amicable situations for everyone before it gets to the "I will tantrum and you always give me my way" point, b/c I really don't want to encourage that.