View Full Version : One Step Forward and Two Back

09-27-2003, 08:03 PM
DS has been in underpants for about a month now, and doing well overall, with just a few accidents, and most of those were in the first 2 weeks. All of a sudden, he screams bloody murder when it is time to go to the bathroom. He doesn't want to go and fights the whole process. He is not having any accidents, he is just getting super-good at holding it. But when he does go, it is obvious that it was time, even though he is telling me no.

Has anyone else has experienced this? Of course, I am not going back to diapers. But more wondering if I should just stop asking him altogether and make it his responsibility, or just be stern with "it's time to go" - like when he has slept through the night, gets up and drinks a cup of milk and still doesn't want to go.

09-27-2003, 08:31 PM
This sounds exactly like what I have been doing with Amy this week! She was going all by herself and I had the audacity to tell my mother that I thought she was daytime trained. Then last Monday she started having all these accidents. They were pretty much all where she was peeing while running to the potty yelling, "I have to use the potty!". She had a couple of accidents where she would pee a little in her underwear and then the rest went in the potty. She was definitely trying to see how far she could push the bar. How long could she hold it before she REALLY had to go?

I was pulling out the potty training books and going onto Babycenter to try and figure out what to do about regression. The big advice these sources had? Be patient. Ha! I finally acheive what I have been working towards all these months and they want me to be patient??? Ha!!!!!!

Seriously, I did do what you're suggesting, try to convince her that it was time to use the potty. Often it would be a bribe, eg: "Amy first you are going to use the potty and then we will watch Sesame Street!" Sometimes I would loudly announce that I was going to the potty. Then Amy would say she was coming too and I would ask her if she wanted to go first. She couldn't resist the opportunity to go first!!! :)

I had a couple of pee parties with my friend who has 31 month old twins who are also training. We set up potties on the floor and let the kids run around, jumping and singing and dancing whenever one of them used the potty. I think being around other kids who were using the potty helped motivate them all.

I also reverted back a bit (not to diapers). I told her that all her underwear was dirty and wet (and in the laundry) so she had to go naked. She really didn't like that and begged for underwear back. After a successful potty visit of her own prompting I gave it back to her. I also moved back from character underwear to the Gerber cotton trainers. After she was dry in those for a day I went back to the character underwear and reminded her frequently that if it got dirty and wet she couldn't wear it anymore. She got all upset when I had to take her 'Nemo Fish Underwear'!

I have also noticed that she tends to be better at timing the visits when she is naked, and then in the Gerber trainers (that I bought one size too big so they are loose and droopy around the leg holes and easy for her to pull up and down). The normal kiddie underwear seems to be too snug and gives her a false sense of security.

It does seem to have worked. In fact we were out a good portion of the day today at a children's museum and then to lunch and then to 2 stores/mall. We were out of the house from 9 am to 4 pm and she was dry the whole time, thanks to prompted potty visits by me. Two if them were in the car in my playground/car potty. When we got home I put her down for her nap and next thing I know I hear her in the bathroom. She has made a poop in the potty and is dumping it in the toilet! So I'm not going to be arrogant enough to say she is daytime trained again but there is improvement from the lapses of a week ago.

Oh, and it is a GOOD thing to be able to hold it. My friend with the twins had to put her kids in PullUps at the museum today because she knows they are using the potty every 15-20 minutes. I could let Amy run around and bring her once an hour.

Hope it works out! I know what you're going through!

09-28-2003, 12:30 AM
Yes, yes, yes... and the fight goes on! DS constantly holds it until he simply cannot hold it any longer. Today he even peed in his pants (very upsetting for him... yay!) because he tried holding it until Dad got off his favorite potty (we have 2, but for some reason he always HAS to go in the big bathroom). We do a this... he goes when he feels he has to go, BUT... if we are going on a long trip we have him go ahead of time; if we see him holding himself or exhibiting other signs of having to go, we tell him to go; we have him go pee and try to poo before going to bed as part of his nighttime routine. There are times when he is standing there dancing, and insisting he does NOT have to go, so sometimes we just say, "Well, I think I'm going to beat you to the potty." Then it's a game, and he races in to "beat" us to the potty (works every time!). I would try giving him the opportunity to tell YOU when he needs to go. Perhaps he is rebelling at being told he has to go. (I'm assuming you are having him go at certain time intervals.)

Like Helen said... patience is key, not that saying that makes anything easier. Helen and I have had a lot of potty discussions this year. The process is not a fast one. DS trained early this year, and still has occasional accidents.