Yet another potty training question...

[trumansmom]

Things have been moving really, really slowly in the potty training arena - and I'm really okay with that. I think DS is probably too young to be seriously training, and has mainly been using the potty for the same reason he blows kisses, show us his belly, etc. - not because he has anything at stake in doing so, but because he enjoys our reaction when he does. Does this make sense? Even though there are many days when he only wets one or two diapers, there are far more days when he doesn't want to use the potty at all. He has not pooped in the potty yet.

So, I guess my question is, should I be doing more than just offering the potty? Or should I just keep waiting and assume that when he's ready he'll begin to make more of an effort?

Thanks in advance to all of you potty training gurus! (And Helen, that means you!)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and EDD 4/23/04!

[brubeck]

Oh gosh I am NOT a guru! I think I've just been through the most (publicly) hellish and recent time of it. x(

So after all of that trouble the one thing I learned (that everyone had kept telling me all along) is that they aren't going to do it unless they want to do it.

That being said, our reaction was also a big motivator for Amy. Whenever she did anything I would jump up and down and clap for her and hug her. We even came up with a dance/song (A pee pee in the potty! A pee pee in the potty! etc. etc...... check out Look Who's Talking 2 for the source of that one). We talked about it for ages. I tried hard to never lose excitement that she was doing it. For a long time that was the only motivator she needed. But it also meant that when she wasn't in the mood (she was feeling cranky or sleepy) she wasn't interested.

So you have 2 choices: wait until he seems interested or try to foster some interest. To foster interest you have to find out what motivates Truman. And with a toddler this can change from day to day. Some kids are motivated by parental praise. Some are motivated by the cool underwear in the store. Some are motivated by a reward or prize they get. Some are motivated by the kid next door/at playgroup, etc. using the potty. Some are motivated by the cool books you read to them. Whatever it is you have to find out what gets him interested in pottying. One thing that worked for Amy for about a week was that we had this sweatshirt she found in the closet and she LOVED it. We told her that she could wear it as long as her underwear was clean and dry. Well if she wet then we took it off and boy was there a fuss! But if she used the potty again later she got it back.

Since at first you want him to get into the routine of using it, you have to offer some motivation every time, but then it should also be a small thing. As he moves towards bigger goals he can have bigger rewards.

Now you don't HAVE to do this. If you're feeling the pregnancy and just want to let it go too, that's fine. You could just leave the potty out and talk about it whenever it is convenient/comes up in conversation. Certainly he's not likely to forget about it and he may change his mind on it if you cool off for awhile. Essentially this is (in the end) what I did with Amy and then one day she was suddenly interested in wearing 'big girl underwear'. The rest is history.

I think the answer is that it's up to you. I tried the forcing interest route and it is stressful on everyone. So I would go with however much motivation attempt you feel comfy with.

Okay, so after all that's it's not really an answer. Sorry, I tried my best!

[luvbeinmama]

ITA with EVERYTHING Helen said!! (And, Helen, you gave a wonderful answer!)

Personally, I would wait until after the baby is born. DS was 2 yrs 9 mos when DD was born and not ready to potty train. We did it afterward (about 5-6 mos after... DS was about 38 mos), when HE showed a real interest in trying to be consistent, and it only took 6-8 weeks before he was really consistent and always in daytime undies and was in nighttime undies within the next couple months after that. Not that we are accident free by any means. I don't think THAT happens for a while, BUT they are few and far between.

HTH!

[trumansmom]

I can't tell you how much I appreciate having experienced moms to turn to! And basically, it just reminds me to trust my gut. I think we're going to keep offering and not pushing. DH is much more successful with Truman, so we'll just let that be their "special time!" We see where it goes.

As far as big boy pants go, am I the only one who had to convince their son that they really didn't want Barbie underwear?! My husband almost died!

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and EDD 4/23/04!

[brubeck]

LOL, you should have seen Amy running around in boys' Finding Nemo briefs (including the 'manhole')! Apparently Nemo didn't find the girls' version. Hey if Truman potties because he's wearing Barbie undies, let the diaper-changing Mommies throw the first stone.... :)

And I have been DYING to get DH to take over Andrew's training. All I have so far are some vague promises that he'll let Andrew watch him pee (sitting) while holding the 'equipment' down. If your DH is willing to train the LET HIM! It will save you a lot of headache!

[luvbeinmama]

And, really, the guys are the only ones that can teach them to do it standing anyway! LOL! :P

Yeah, DS wanted some girls panties, too. I don't remember which design... might have been Care Bears or something like that. His favorites were the Power Rangers, though! LOL, about Amy! I can just see it! Like anyone uses the "manhole" anyway! LOL! :D