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View Full Version : Am I being TOO laid back with potty training?



christic
04-06-2004, 12:20 AM
Sorry in advance if this post meanders, but here's where we're at with potty training...I'm wondering what to do next.

Alice has been interested in all things potty for months now. We've had a potty chair for quite a while and she's been sitting on it fully clothed, but within the last month or so she's peed in it 3 times. Usually though it's just this grand wonderful game for her. I also recently bought an insert for our downstairs bathroom and she could probably spend hours acting out the steps of going potty without actually doing anything--puts the insert in, gets out the stool, climbs up but can't really get herself on the seat yet, pretends to wipe with the paper, paper in the toilet, insert out, seat lid down, flushes, then peeks under to say "bye pee", and over and over and over. She also insisted we check out the public restroom at a restaurant in town--she agreed to sit on the potty with clothes on, got a little freaked out by the louder than normal flush, but then didn't want to leave. She's obsessed.

She's only 25 months and this seems like plenty to me and that I'd just let her play at it for a while. BUT then last week I spoke with my SIL who said that our nephew was at this stage a little after 2 but that they didn't push him and now seriously regret it. He's 3 and has no interest and she thinks it will be a huge struggle with him now.

So I guess my question is what now??? We did have one naked morning which resulted in 2 accidents and one actual potty, but now it feels like winter again so I haven't tried again yet. I bought her some training pants and she's only mildly interested in wearing them. From everything I've read I don't think I want to waste time with pull-ups.

How does potty play turn into doing it for real? And will she really lose interest if I don't act on this now?

Thanks for any thoughts!

Chris

trumansmom
04-06-2004, 09:56 AM
Chris-

This sounds really, really familiar to me! DS is just a little bit older, and we've been doing pretty much exactly what you have for about 6 months or so. At one point I was concerned we were being too laid back, but now I really feel like we're following his cues. I truly feel that he's going to potty train when he's darn good and ready!

My nephew didn't show any interest until he was 3 1/2. However, he basically told my sister he didn't want to wear diapers anymore one day, and then only had 2 accidents after! So, I see it as a trade off. They started later, but it was lots less work.

Anyway, this past week has been a big week for him. We recently got some new puppy dog stickers, and it looks like that may be the secret for him. He had his first full dry day at daycare yesterday.

Lots of luck!

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and EDD 4/23/04!

brubeck
04-06-2004, 04:38 PM
Yes and no. In one sense what Jeanne said is right on the money: you don't want to push too hard and have a rebellion on your hands. But on the other hand I can see what your SIL is saying. Sometimes kids are interested early on and if you don't capitalize on it the opportunity is wasted. It's a fine line to walk.

A couple of ideas: could you try a 'training pants day' (cotton) instead of a naked day? DD didn't care if she wet while naked but if she was wearing cotton trainers and leggings then the pee stayed at her underwear and wet all down her legs. It was an unpleasant feeling for her. That may be a motivator for Alice. You could also try a reward system. If she pees in the potty during her play you can make a big deal of it (praise, song and dance, sticker, happy face drawn on calendar, etc.). She might like the attention and do it more later on.

If she seems to back off with even these small things then you are pushing too hard. But it might be worth venturing a LITTLE further to see if you can accomlish more.

raynjen
04-06-2004, 07:53 PM
I agree with Helen. Find what motivates your little one. We did pretty much the same thing, introduced the potty very early, but no pressure. We tried diaper free days, panty days, stickers, etc. Nothing really seemed to motivate her. We (luckily) had a string of events that kept us from forcing the issue. Minor illnesses and travel all consipired against us.

When we got back from traveling the last time we decided to limit TV/video viewing and promote the potty at the same time. We told DD no TV until she had pottied. Then after she went I put her in panties and told her that if she wet them I would turn the TV off. I had NO hopes of this working, we had tried it before and it hadn't. This time it worked!

I guess what I'm saying is keep trying with a low pressure approach and when he gets it he gets it!

Spoken like the newly-converted that I am :)
Jen in Okinawa
Mom to Noelle (2 1/2)