Opinions on when to potty train

[hjdong]

I'm curious as to when people think we should actually start potty training. As background, my son was adopted from a country that pratices infant potty training. He was put on a potty regularly from about 6 months - 18 months. The orphanage told us he used a child's potty, but not that he was completely trained (which he certainly wasn't). So, when we got home, we continued to let him use the potty, which he does anywhere from three times a day to never for several days. He does hate having poopy diapers however, he has recently started telling me he's going poop,when I ask him if he wants the potty he asys no. He tells me when he's done, I ask him if he wants a new diaper, he says yes and runs away. I ignore him and he plays this game for about 1/2 an hour. Anyway, my thought is he might be getting TOO used to diapers and that it's time to take the potty training more seriously, with training pants and uncomfortableness. Sometimes, I think I should just completely ignore the potty, even when he asks to go, although I've done that and then had him screaming horribly because he wanted his poopy diaper off.

Any opinions would be really appreciated! Thanks,

[brubeck]

Well he is almost 2 so it's certainly not unreasonable to start now! I started pre-training with DD at 18 months (and plan to start DS at the same age) which consisted of putting her on the potty when she was already naked (eg: before a bath, in the morning when getting dressed), discussing the potty with her, showing her the poop she had made in her diaper (and dumping it into the toilet), having her watch me go and flushing for me. I actually did this for 9 months (I would have stopped at 5 or 6 but her brother was born and I didn't want to push pottying then) before I ever put her in any kind of training pants or started encouraging her to go regularly. But when we started she knew exactly what pottying was all about and had even had a bunch of pees (and 2 poops) in the potty purely by accident.

Now this was a girl whi had zero infant potty training. I certainly think that you can at least introduce the potty as part of daily life for your son. You are probably right that he is forgetting about it, perhaps you should just remind him. You don't have to force him to use it but you may want to remind him that it is there and what it is for.

HTH!

[apfb]

Both my mom and MiL have told me that the kids were potty-trained before 2 years old. Both mom and MiL come from countries which practice infant potty training. According to mom, my sibs and I were trained by 15-18 months. MiL said that my husband and SiL were trained by 15 mon as well.

I've started introducing DD @ 14 mon. to sitting on the toilet to go poop using a padded, smaller toilet seat. According to Dr. Spock and Dr. Terry Brazelton, potty training should start when the child is ready, which is closer to 24 mon. or later.

The American method of potty-training (Spock and Brazelton), which is child-directed, does NOT suit the method of infant potty training, which is based on Pavlovian conditioning. Do you know if the orphanage used any sounds to signal initiating urination or defecation for James? Perhaps if you knew which signals, either sound or hand signal, were used to condition James to go to the potty, that might help him resume his potty use.


1st time mom to Maya the Mighty b. 3/2003

[hjdong]

That's a good idea. I don't know, however, I know someone going to the orphanage soon to adopt her child, so maybe I can find out.

[ruebimages]

Hi,

I started potty training my daughter when she was 2 1/2 months old; she's 6 months now. She has been quite successful in peeing and pooping in the potty (with much needed help to support her in sitting). Anyhow, here is a link, which I accredit to her success, about infant potty training--http://www.timl.com/ipt/.

Hope this helps!:-)

[Kimberly H]

Holly, while we're not sure if Mia has done any potty training, we have a similar situation.

Here's what I just posted to BBB before I remember THIS was a better place ::sigh::

Mia has a little potty that's in the very cramped bathroom she shares with Drew. It was more for looks and getting familiar with it than any "training" purpose.

She started pooping in the bathtub a couple of weeks ago and one time I got her out of the tub and onto the potty in time to catch it. She was wet and freaked, but curious. The next day, I put her on the potty while I was getting her bath ready. Sure enough, she peed.

Yesterday, she got on and off the potty at least 5 times while her bath water was running and Daddy was getting things ready. She didn't do anything. After her bath, same thing but she might have dribbled a little - I think she did but she wasn't dried off yet so I can't be sure.

We're home sick today (Mia's sick, I'm fine ;D) and when we came back from the doctor and CVS, I asked if she wanted to go potty because I heard some grunting. She said "pah!" and ran for the bathroom. I stripped off her diaper and romper and she peed and peed and peed.

Now what do I do????

Drew day-trained himself at 19 months and then when Bryce was born 2 months later, asked for diapers, which he wore for about 2 more months, then day/night-trained himself in 48 hours. Bryce took a weekend of running around naked at 24 months but that was it too. *THEY* showed it's what they wanted to do and I just followed along.

I'm just not sure that Mia is cognizant of when she has to go or it's reflex of some sort to sit on the potty and DO something. As you know, many of the orphanages in China use potty chairs and kids wear split pants so she may have some potty "training" background we don't know about.

I'm not home with her to be able to guide her through potty training. The daycare said they'd do whatever I wanted but they were obviously taken aback by the suggestion. At daycare, Mia's in a room with 18 mos - 3 years so she has lots of kids to model.

You'd think I had it all figured out for my third child, wouldn't you? I DON'T!

off to watch Bear in the Big Blue House with my tired girl...

[hjdong]

Hi Kim -I'm going to try to share quickly what we have found so far. We started just this week "real" potty training - Jamie had been asking for his potty every couple of minutes! As soon as I put the "big boy" pants on, it stopped! He didn't go once the whole first day (on the potty - he went every where else)! We're on the 3rd day, and so far, he's had clean diapers, except for nap. However, he's not so sure about the potty. He wants to squat. It's the first time I've wished for squat toilets. I put the laundry basket under the toilet (he stopped wanting to use his potty so we've got the insert on the big toilet) for him to have a place to rest his feet. Everything else was either too big or too small. Anyway, he stands up on it, squats and goes. So, I think I'm going to try too tall and let him squat over our toilet.

He is very aware of when he goes potty - even before he told us. He would run, squat, and go. Now that he tells us poo poo or pee pee we've realized that his squatting and looking down is his potty signal. mia's might be the same, seeing as how she probably used a sqat toilet.

HTH,

[AugBaby]

My dd would tell me she was going in her diaper right before she started to go when she was 14 months old, and we thought she'd be a really early trainer (not!). I bought a potty, showed it to her and she always comes with me to the bathroom so she knows what happens in there :-). That being said, she sat on her potty a handful of times as a chair, peed in it once and had zero interest for the longest time. We read the potty books every so often, but any time I asked her (every few months) she said she didn't want to go on the potty, that it was uncomfortable.

Well, I finally bought her the soft-seat potty she wanted. As we got out of the car she told me she had to pee and that she wanted to use her potty. I ripped it open and that was it. She's gone in it ever since.

My opinion is that if you wait until he's ready, he'll go without a problem. My dd had far less potty training than it sounds like your ds has had, and she's in underwear. No pull-ups or training pants. Now, if you want him to train earlier, you may want to try a little harder than I did. If you just want to make sure that he isn't 5 and not potty trained, I'd let him do what he wants, where he wants and he'll come around when he's ready. But hey, I liked diapers and am a little sad that she's potty trained :-)

[apfb]

DD (since 14 mon) also tells me when she wants to go. She whispers "poo poo" while she walks around. We've offered her the Baby Bjorn potty, and she's used it only once. I've suggested using the potty to her when she announces that she wants to go. How long do you wait for the child to be ready to use the potty?

[egoldber]

Well I waited until DD was 34 months. And she potty trained in a week. Literally. With basically zero effort on my part. I am very happy we waited.

HTH,

[hjdong]

Hi everyone - Thanks for all your responses - you were all right! Since this popped back up, I thought I would do an update. We more or less decided not to start "serious" potty training until he seems more ready (i.e. going potty is more important than throwing a ball). We still let him sit on the potty when he wants. Some days, he goes all morning with a clean diaper (usually loses interest by the afternoon), some days he makes it very clear from breakfast that he's not really interested in the potty today. Since I've taken this attitude, he's stopped with the running away and the screaming over the poopy diapers.

Thanks again for all your help!

[emmiem]

It is important to wait until they are truly ready. There are several signs to look for. Try reading Potty Training for Dummies. You don't want to potty train for months. Introduce your child to the potty, let her sit on it but he/she is the one that will tell you. I just did a potty mambo weekend 2 weeks ago, (My DD is 3 1/3)and she is now out of diapers except at night with not one accident. That book was invaluable. I have read several others but this one was the best. I used a sticker chart and after the third day, she didn't care any more. We let her run around naked and she did everything herself.
HTH,
Michele