PDA

View Full Version : Am I being lazy or is he really not ready?



trumansmom
08-16-2004, 03:16 AM
Who knew potty training would be so hard?!

DS went to daycare in big boy pants all week last week. 2 days he managed to stay completely dry, one day he came home with a temp so that day doesn't count, and 2 days he had accidents. EVERYDAY he came home, and regardless of whether or not he peed on the potty, within 30 minutes to an hour he had an accident. He also has never pooped in the potty at all.

By the end of the week he started showing all the major signs of toddler stress. He had night terrors, he got really, really whiny, he started screaming whenever the potty got mentioned and basically just melted down into a puddle of toddler goo. He insisted on wearing pull ups all weekend, and only used the potty for the babysitter. I think it's time to give it a break, and try again in a few weeks.

Daycare is really pushing for potty training, because they want to move him up with the 3 year olds in the next couple of months. DH is pushing because he thinks Truman is too old to be wearing diapers. I've been pushing because this process started 9 months ago, and I'm ready to have it finished.

Experienced potty gurus, what do you think? Big boy pants or pull ups for a while?

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and Eleanor 4/14/04

Melanie
08-16-2004, 03:30 AM
"I think it's time to give it a break, and try again in a few weeks."

I think you are right. My son is only 2 weeks older than yours and he just learned 2 weeks ago without any of these issues you described, though granted all children are different. At 18 months we bought a potty and a few months later some books. We did ask him and offer pants, etc., but never forced. On the rare occasion we tried (like right after bath when he was obviously holding his pee and screaming for a diaper) he was absolutely hysterical. Any other time we asked if he wanted to wear big boy underpants or use the potty we were met with varying degrees of the same reaction. Anyway, two weeks ago Dh had a talk with him about peeing in the potty (I think I posted about it) and he very willingly put on the underpants and has had no desire to go back to diapers at all, even after his few accidents. I hate to jinx myself, but I have been really surprised how difficult this is not. I mean, it has taken some patience on our part when he was getting the hang of it and running to the potty every 5 minutes but not going, but that did not last long.

So, anyway, I just wanted to say I think you should trust your instincts on this one. There are many many many many boys who are not using the potty at age three. I truly think if you are making things available to him and occasionally offering the possibility up, he will take you up on it (or even initiate it) when he is ready and that will save all of you a lot of grief!




http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif

brubeck
08-16-2004, 11:39 AM
Oh Jeanne I could have written this a bit more than a year ago about Amy. I taught her everything she needed to know about pottying at 27 months. EVERYTHING. She knew how to do it and when to do it and obviously knew when something was coming and when she should go to the potty. But she was NOT INTERESTED. I beat my head against the wall for 2 months and then basically gave up. 4 months later I asked her one morning if she wanted to wear the big girl underwear and she said yes and the rest is history. She was 90% day trained as of that day and the other 10% came within the next month. I still don't know what happened but I honestly think giving her the breathing space helped a lot.

I suspect that Truman does need time off and it sounds like you think so too (only your daycare and DH don't). Now when I say time off I mean he can wear pull-ups and have the potty available but don't mention it. One thing I did do during the time off was when Amy needed a diaper change I brought her into the bathroom, pulled down the Easy-Ups like underwear and took them off. Then I had her sit on the potty (not expected to do anything) while I brought them into another room and put them in the diaper genie and got a fresh pair. Then I would put on the fresh pair. I never mentioned doing anything in the potty and I didn't say anything about what was in her full diapers, although I did dump the poop in the toilet and had her flush it. I used the flushable wipes to clean her bottom or the bathtub if there was a big poop mess.

The other thing I did in this time was introduce some potty books (Too Big For Diapers starring Ernie was one of the favourites) and she saw pictures of people using the potty. I also encouraged her to come with me when I used the potty just to 'keep me company'. But I never implied that she should be doing it, just led by example. Honestly it was a very relaxing 4 months, which was good preparation for the stressful month afterward trying to teach her how to 'hold it' and not wait until the last minute once she was interested. :)

Anyhow, I know I've been rambling here but I'll pulling for yo uand I hope this has helped.

pamela mom of 3
08-16-2004, 12:16 PM
Well i've almost trained 3 now ;) and i will say one must follow their lead, meaning i think your "give it a break" idea is probably a good route.

They do bounce back & forth and each learns at their own pace..one thing with potty training is it's a real dance of give & take.

I have had a very laid back approach to PT'ing, my kids all learned later but i had it wrapped up quickly you know fully trained both day and night, so while they were "older" it was not a drawn out experience time-wise.

Eventually everyone trains LOL so try and not stress out, i know it can be hard not too, geez i've been changing diapers since 96! :o and have had two kids in diapers before too so trust me i know all to well the desire not too see another huggies! but i'd take a break and just let it happen, offer choices and follow his lead..many times it is a one step forward two steps back sorta thing, but it WILL happen eventually.

good luck! :)


~Pamela Mom to the Trio Of Trouble http://smilies.jeeptalk.org/otn/angels/newangel.gif



http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppstrollers

trumansmom
08-17-2004, 10:37 AM
I sent DS off in Pull Ups yesterday and today, and life has been much calmer around our household. No tantrums last night, and no night terrors.

He'll be ready soon enough. And when he is we'll try again.

Thanks for the support.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and Eleanor 4/14/04