Potty Training Difficulties

[genevieve]

My DS will be 3 in February and he is still not potty trained. He was doing well at daycare for a while but the past couple of months have been terrible. He tells us he wants to go potty so we take him into the bathroom where he then refuses to go. Not wanting to push him, we say "okay, let's change your pull-up/diaper then." At this point he decides he wants to go potty again. It goes on like this back and forth until one of us just picks him up and changes the diaper.

When he does sit on the potty it's only for a few seconds and he gets up without going! He doesn't even seem phased by a dirty diaper unless it is a BM.

I don't know what else to do! Anyone have some ideas?

Michelle
Mommy to Alexander

[emilyr]

No advice, but this sounds exactly like our house! We have had so many fights about putting the diaper on when he won't sit on the potty. I am afraid of discouraging him but I can't stay in the kitchen all day with him when my 9 month old has her own needs!

Just know that you are not alone!

Emily

[brubeck]

It sounds like he is capable but not interested. You need a motivator. You have to find out what gets him excited. It might be a toy, movies, special foods/snacks, activities, etc. I know a kid who potty-trained because he was closing in on 4 and his parents promised him a trip to Disneyland. 2 weeks later he got his trip.

Every child is motivated by something different. Once you find his motivation, offer it to him if he keeps himself dry all day. If he wants it badly enough he will do it.

Good luck!

[raynjen]

I agree with the PP. For our daughter it was TV/Videos. If at all possible have the motivator on-hand, in sight. We found that once we put the reward videos actually in the bathroom (on the window sill) where she could see them but not reach them that we had much faster progress. Of course, for an older child who understands time better, a special treat at then end of the day can be just as effective.

By the way, be very careful what you pick as a motivator. We are 9 months free of diapers (during the day) and my daughter still proclaims, "I went poo-poo I get to watch a MOVIE!"

Jen in Okinawa
Mom to a wonderful preschooler,
who just turned three, Noelle!

[genevieve]

Thanks for the advise. I think he is capable as well. We've been using stickers as a motivator...obviously not very effective. I might try grapes. He loves them. However, that means I've got to make sure I always have some in the house! The other problem I think is that he just doesn't seem to mind sitting in a wet pullup. I'm thinking of trying the old-fashioned training pants. Hopefully, I can find some that don't leak all over the place.

Thanks,

Michelle
Mommy to Alexander 2/7/02.

[VELO77]

I thought that maybe I was the only one. My DD will be three in Feb. too, and she still won't make a potty. And, it seems as if she doesn't mine a wet diaper. She knows but is not interested right now (but when will she be?).

I tried several things including the psychology of Dr. Phil's which suggests to have them show one of their favorite dolls/stuffed animals. By taking this favorite toy to the potty (as if the toy had to use it) and have your child explain to it how to use the potty (learning by example). To that end, no success. I've tried the training pants and we even put the potty in the living room and explained to her to use the potty when she feels like going. But instead she wets the sofa.

She's a sensible kid, but I just don't understand why she refuses. I'm not sure myself what to do at this point, except to keep pressing. =)

--Verna
Sydney 02/25/02
Taylor 07/24/04

[egoldber]

Well, my DD showed zero interest until she was 36 months old. She then told me she wanted to go and was trained in about 2 weeks with virtually no effort on my part. If its become a battle ground, I would personally be more inclined to just back off until he indicates that he is ready and really wants to.

And my DD was perfectly happy to sit in a wet diaper up until the day she trained. In fact, she is still perfectly happy to wear a wet pull-up (she still wears one overnight).

HTH,