View Full Version : is food throwing EVER going to end

08-02-2005, 10:04 AM
Sydney has been doing it for ages, she's 21 months, I've had it, I end the meal now when she throws something but by then she's done anyway, what do I do ?

08-02-2005, 12:00 PM
DS has gone through two phases of doing this, so I won't swear that he won't start again at dinner tonight, LOL. Right now though he's not doing it.

I make him stay in his highchair while I clean up the mess he's made. I only do this if it was on purpose. When he drops something on accident, I just say that's okay and clean it up after he gets down. He HATES being kept in the highchair after he's done, plus it keeps him from walking in the food and making a bigger mess.


08-02-2005, 03:06 PM
We offer a replacement behavior -- when you're done, say "All done", if you don't want it, put it over here or give it to me. If she throws food anyway, I repeat the rule, when you're done, say "All done", food is for eating. Then I take the tray away and clean up, boringly, without taking her out of the chair. Then we move on. As long as I'm paying attention and respond to the 'all done' we're usually fine. Lately I've been tired and lazy and she's discovered that if I'm worn out enough and she's in her high chair in the kitchen I just clean the food off the floor even in the middle of the meal. Bad parenting all around, but at least I know that what I was doing before did make a difference.

08-02-2005, 04:39 PM
I have to say sometimes Sydney does give me the food, BUT most of time she throws it on the floor, she cant talk yet so she cant say all done,I ask her if she's done, maybe I should start asking sooner.

08-02-2005, 07:05 PM
You might want to use the signs for "more" and "all done". That's what DD's daycare does, and it's seeing her use those that made us pick up signing with her. (For "all done" it was one of her first words, too, but she signed it before she said it.)

"More" is made by putting you fingertips together on each hand, and then touching them together repeatedly. "All done" is made by putting your open hands up by your shoulders and turning them like you were dropping something, theoretically, but daycare uses a sort of shaking back-and-forth motion that reminds me of Al Jolson. If you use them a whole lot ("more" tickle? "more" ice cream? "all done" every time something's over) she will probably pick them up quite fast -- most kids at daycare take no more than a couple weeks, but then again they must hear it at least 30 times a day, what with 2 snacks and lunch and 8-12 kids at each.

If you watch her like a hawk for a while, and grab it out of her hand as she starts to drop it, and sign "all done", she'll probably get it.

08-02-2005, 07:30 PM
Thanks I'll try the signs.

I do try to watch her like a hawk, I think a lot of times she's doing it to be spiteful, she'll give me a look & then drop the food !

08-03-2005, 02:50 PM
She's too little to be spiteful. That's a grown-up emotion. She'd have to realize that you had feelings in order to be mean to you!

I'm not saying she doesn't a) know that she's not supposed to drop it and b) drop it anyway, but she doesn't do it because she wants to be mean to you. She does it because either she wants to see what's going to happen, or she doesn't have the self-control to stop herself, or she doesn't know what else to do. Have you ever thought "I really shouldn't eat that" and then eaten it anyway? She might be doing that. Or "I really shouldn't eat that, but I feel so lousy, and it's the only thing I can think of that will make me feel better"? She might be doing "I really shouldn't drop this, but I want down so much, and it's the only way I can think of to get down". Or she may be thinking "People say I shouldn't drop this, but why?" or even "Last week I wasn't supposed to drop things. I wonder if that's still true?" or "I'm not supposed to drop bread; is fruit OK?" She looks at you to make sure it's a valid experiment. After all, if you're not watching, she doesn't get good data about what you're going to do.

If you're watching her, and she gives you the look, grab the food. Don't let her drop it. Grab it out of her hand, put it on her tray as far away from her as possible, say "All done?", and unless she gives you some good indication she's not, behave as if she answered you, and say "All done! When you're all done you tell me, 'all done'." Sign all of the all dones.

08-04-2005, 10:17 AM
Thanks funny what she MIGHT be thinking :)

Unfortunately we dont eat with her, too early, so I am usually standing in front of her watching /talking to her, it's the times I turn around to wash something in the sink a lot that boom, the food is on the floor ! I always ask are u all done, once in a while she's say up so obviously then I know she's done, hopefully she'll satrt telling me more !

02-01-2006, 10:44 AM
We've started having my DD pick up what ever she throws (with help). After dinner she wants to play but she has to do her "chores". This tactic can backfire when she eats what she picked up. We also make a big deal when below her chair is clean.

We've seen some improvement, but that could be age too. (She'll be 2 this month). If nothing else, it's teaching her responsibility and saving me from getting down on my hands and knees to pick up food.

02-26-2006, 11:40 AM
I do not have advice but I can sympathize with the situation. The food throwing thing is very frustrsating for me. I plan to try out the advice here and read up in some books. I'll get back to you if I read anything that looks like it could work.