Breaking Point of Self Realization

[liya]

Today i saw a show on Maury about overweight ppl achieving their weight goals. Of course i know that some of the ppl there had the "surgery" done but still it got me very sad and depressed. Ever since the ectopic pregnancy i put on an aditional 15 pds making the total weight for me to loose a whooping 50pds..To me thats like having another body inside me, its like having a little kid inside my body. I was washing my cousins clothes staring and her tiny little waist and thighs. I mean gals i cant fit one of my thighs into her whole pant..Well today after the show i started thinking. Thinking of so many ppl tha thave lost alot more weight than i have the natural way. Eating right, excersizing and mantaining good patterns all throughout their lives. I realized i dont want to get to be 30 and weigh what i weigh now. I want to be slim wear my cool funky clothes and be young once again. Right now i feel like im stuck in a body and a life that isnt mine. I just to be a sexual animal...(LOL i really dont care who reads this) but right now i dont feel comfortable enough with myself to show off my body to my husband not even in a bathing suite. I am tiered of being ashamed of taking pictures with my son and being ashamed of my body. Today has been my breaking point into reality and i am thankfull i have reached it.

I decided to write these word down as a written contract to myself and my buddy. I am giving myself one year to reach my goal weight and to mantain it for the rest of my life. I herby declare that i will be there for myself and for my buddy. That i will begin my diet on Nov 1st 2003 with my buddy and that i will do excersizes 3 times a week in the begining for 30min and increase the days or times as my body allows it to. That i will loose 50 pds by november 2004 and that i will stik to my healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life because i want the possibility of having another child and with PCOS it is hard if your weight is not in check.

To my buddy: i will be available to you at any time. We are dealing with similar situations and i would love for you and me to have sucess stories together. So therefore i comit to helping you when you feel unmotivated and up your spirits when they are down so you wont fall into bad eating habits. And hopefully from you i will get the same support.



Thanks for listening i just needed to vent this out ...

[khakismom]

Linda, I know just how you feel--and the emotions are coming right back to me as I think about it. This was soooo me a few months ago. What you said about being stuck in a body that isn't yours and not wanting to be ashamed to take pix of yourself with your child--I said all this to myself too!

I don't know why but all of a sudden a few months ago it clicked for me that food was not the answer, and that I didn't have to taste *everything*. I started working out and joined WW and the weight started coming off. I now weigh 25 pounds less than when I got pregnant (with both girls) and am about 15 pounds away from being at my college weight. I just have to remember that this is a lifetime thing and not a quick fix. And it's soooooo hard. I grew up in a family where good food was very important. Dinner was a *major* deal.

I think you saying out loud is awesome! And I join you in your declaration too!! :) What has kept me going is being accountable to someone other than yourself. So you go!! I give you all my best wishes and motivation (and I'll take some from you too :)) and hugs and support!!

[JulieL]

This is exactly how I felt in August of 2002. My DS was 4 months old and I looked huge, for me. I remember looking down at my legs and thinking, they look like sausages and wanting to cry. I made the same commitment to myself and I kept it. Now a year later I am toner than I ever have been and can't wait to see what I can acheive this next year. It's hard, so very hard. But it is so worth it!!! Keep up the attitude and remember your making a promise to yourself, so keep it! We'll be here to cheer you on!

[celfsh]

Linda,

You go, girl! I applaud you for your courage and have no doubt that you will reach your goals!!!

celeste
mom to olivia 9/25/02

[emmasmama]

Linda, you really can do it... I know how you feel about being so over your normal weight that you don't even feel like yourself at all anymore... I started out with 64 lbs to lose and have lost 32 lbs so far... once I really dedicated myself to making this change I realized that it wasn't as hard as I thought. The hardest part, if you can believe it, is just deciding to do it, and getting past that mental block that you're afraid and not sure if you really can. Once you decide that you CAN, then you WILL! I have total faith in you! Don't be too hard on yourself and feel like losing weight is all or nothing either - I have my good days and bad days, but the more I lose, the more good days there are. Just because you have a bad day and cheat alot about eating or exercising or whatever, don't let it get you down. Just start fresh the next day, or even at the next meal, if you were bad at lunch or something, be good at dinner. Every little effort really does make a difference and helps to give you that balance that lets you keep on losing! I look at every day as a clean slate and a chance to do something good for myself and my baby. I want to be a healthy mom to my daughter and a good role model for her. Just do the best you can and you will be amazed at the results. I hope the low-carb eating really works for you the way it has for me, because it has totally changed my outlook and made me realize that I really CAN do this for the rest of my life! It has given me hope when I thought there was none... I have no other choice but to make this a lifelong commitment because I'm too young to think that it's just happening because I'm getting older! I've finally accepted the fact that I will always be someone who has to work at being thinner... it was a big step to realize that it wasn't just a "phase" and if I lost the weight, that would be it and I could just be a "normal" person again. I will always have to monitor myself and that's just the way it is. Best of luck to you! YOU CAN DO IT!!