Would you describe our DEAR butts forum

[NEVE three BUGS and a BEE]

as not trying to convince people to CD or making sposie people feel like they are inferior, lacking knowledge, dangerous (gosh all for lack of better words)???


I was chatting off line with someone and we got on the topic of sposie and CDing and I was soooo happy that this board has never taken that on and I was thankful for that!!!!!

I've been here for 3 years now researching CDs and of course CDing two at the same time but I honestly shared that I never have witnessed anything like that and just wanted to say I am so glad that our CD mamas are that way.

Would you describe this dear forum that way or am I seeing it thru rose colored glasses.

This is the only CD forum I go to...so I wondered?
Clarifying that I don't care how anyone diapers their child...was just curious if others felt that comfortable feeling here?

[ismommy]

Great point Neve. I have been away from BBB for awhile and have missed Butts alot. I think it is the most supportive of all the forums. oday I was reading some threads and was sad at how quickly they turn judgemental. We are all on BBB to do the best we can for our children in the way we choose and that should be supported. Whether it is formula feeding, circumsion or vaxing - I don't think others should judge these decisions.Jus thinking of some of the hot button issues. I wonder why noone in Butss has ever rammed cding down a sposie users throat.
In fact when I first started a few cders tried to talk me out of it - afarid I only wanted teh cute factor. In a way they were right tha is whya I started. But 6 months later and many dolars poorer - we are still cding and loving it.
Helene
mommy to Isabella
and Gunner

[RwnMayfair]

I agree with you, Neve. :) I've always liked how the Butts forum here seems to provide information on both cloth and disposables without anyone managing to sound judgemental. I honestly think that makes it easier to research the whole cloth diaper thing for those who are looking for more info, but also allows people to post things about 'sposies without fear of being attacked. :) This probably also why I've never felt the need to go anywhere else for diapering discussions/info/etc!

-Melissa

Taran, November 20, 2003
Elowen, August 20, 2005

http://lilypie.com/pic/051031/edeJ.jpg http://b2.lilypie.com/jn4Ym4/.png
http://lilypie.com/pic/051031/bvVl.jpg http://b1.lilypie.com/9Ogqm5/.png

[calebsmama03]

I agree Neve. I see it more as a huge "knowledge base" than an "us vs. them/cloth vs sposie" forum (like MDC is, for example). There have been many sposie threads where long time CD mamas will chime in with sposie help. Not to say there haven't been a few responses such as "if you really want to avoid poop explosions try cloth" in response to some "help! my NB is leaking constantly" threads, but I've never seen them as malicious or coercive in any way - rather just honest experience from a CD/sposie using mama - as in, "I tried every sposie and they all leaked but when I switched to cloth the leaks stopped". (Whoa! Talk about run-on sentences! Eeks - not sure if that made sense at all!) ANyway, I find this a very supportive place and have "bonded" with more mamas here than any other part of BBB.
Lynne
Mommy to C 3/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
And Miss Purple, 5/05

[psophia17]

I first came to Butts looking for info on sposies...and then I started looking at the pics of all the cute CDs, and then I started researching the different kinds of CDs and how they were different from what my Mom used with her kids, and then I thought about how much money I was throwing away in sposies, and then I posted some Qs about CDs I was interested in, and now I make CDs for sale. But I keep sposies on hand, too, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.

I have peeked into other CDing forums, and have chatted about CDing with the one other CDing mama I know IRL, and now I don't do those things anymore. I like the enthusiasm I find here, as opposed to the "you're a (insert mean word) if you don't CD" attitude I've run into elsewhere.

[pritchettzoo]

Butts made me CD! I had no knowledge of cloth before wandering in here. And on the acceptance front, I don't think we've ever had a thread locked in here. :)

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03) and Eli (July '05)

[new_mommy25]

I joined these boards when I was just a few months pregnant. I can honestly say that I would have never considered using cloth if it weren't for the BBB. When Noah was a newborn I spent hours up every night reading the boards and that is when I decided to take the plunge. We use cloth and disposables around here and I agree with you Neve that this is the one board that openly and warmly addresses both issues.

[jec2]

totally agree with you. this forum has always been my first stop. It's my home here and most of my good BBB friends come from here. Never ever have I felt uncomfortable sharing that we use disposables right along with our CD's.

[Momof3Labs]

I think that this forum is great. I'm definitely most attached to the mamas here (especially since the BBB is so huge) compared to any other board.

And even though we're completely off of the wagon right now (DS won't wear "big" diapers), I don't feel like anyone would judge me for it. Heck, you're all just looking forward to building my newborn stash, right??

[brigmaman]

Petra, I'm going to piggyback on your post. :) I feel the same way. I also post on other boards and have also seen the "non-cders are evil" attitude elsewhere along with a whole lot of competition.
I was on the BBB before I started CDing. The ladies in this forum explained, clarified and reiterated (when I was too lazy to search)everything I needed to know.
I think it's more fun than anything over here.

[brigmaman]

When can we get started?!!

[Momof3Labs]

Gotta take inventory of what I have already, first, Trish - I think that I have 20-24 K0's and about 10 similar sherpa dipes, so pretty good there. But I'm low on covers and will need some more dipes when those are outgrown!!

[rrosen]

>Butts made me CD! I had no knowledge of cloth before
>wandering in here.

Exactly the same for me! And this is where I met some of the women I now consider to be close friends. I am grateful to this forum for so many reasons.

I've been in a stage where I have not *needed* advice from butts for a while but, with a new butt on the way I am sure that soon I will be frequenting it again.


For me, Butts is *home* on the BBB

[mudder17]

Neve, you stated exactly how I feel. My attendance/presence on all the other boards is up and down, but I have always felt at home in Butts and will check this forum even if I don't check any other forum. Although I CD 100%, I know it isn't everyone's choice and that's totally fine. I love all the mamas here, both CD'ers, sposie'rs and combo users. If someone has a question or problem with either, I love how everyone chimes in with their experiences and more importantly, their support. And I agree with everyone else; I don't think a thread has ever been locked here, and most of the ones (I can think of only one recently, though) that have had parts of it deleted have been from newbies, possibly trolls. This place has always given me the warm fuzzies and has made me laugh and generally feel better. I will always think of this place as home more than any other place, including the other BBB forums. As Lynne said, most of my closest friends on the BBB are from here. Thanks for starting this Neve!


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[NEVE three BUGS and a BEE]

What a wonderful group of gals!!!!

[NEVE three BUGS and a BEE]

This is one of those little ones that Auntie Neve can't wait to arrive!!!!

[JLiebCamm]

This is the only CD forum that I visit, but it was wonderful in helping me to switch to CDing. And I agree with the openness and friendliness that you describe. When I was thinking of only CDing in the evenings I had plenty of good advice from other mothers who had been there and done that. Of course, I ended up switching to CDs fulltime anyways!

[papal]

This is exactly how I feel too! Many of my friends, I found right here in Butts. We are a fun, supportive group of mamas who tell-it-like-it is. I think most of us pretty much follow the whatever-works school of parenting. I have never felt like cd-mamas have judged non cd-mamas... sure we have joked when we see a sposie on a fluffy-butt but it is in fun and I don't think anyone was offended (i hope not anyway). I hope it stays that way.

I too don't get time to check in here often.. I wish I had more time to spend, helping out newbies.. I feel guilt about that sometimes. If it was not for the enormous help, support and humour of the mamas here, I would not have CDed and had fun doing so! I wish I got time to hang out here more often but the whole diaper-fetish thing really made me realize the BBB (and Butts) is not as private as I thought it was.. you know?

I am rambling but just wanted to acknowledge that the mamas here are fabulous!!

[ribbit1019]

No rose colored glasses for you Neve!! Butts is the first forum I lurked on, and the first one I felt comfortable asking a question in. The mom's here are the ones I feel most at ease with and are the one's whose posts I would look for in the lounge. I always knew what they had to say would be as equally respectable there as here.
I was so overwhelmed when I first started posting, so many baby forums and boards, yikes! But I relented to just posting here, for my own sanity. Usually, if there is good info on another board one of the more time savvy mom's will bring it up here anyway. :)

Christy
"My Mommy" to Maddy born 06/09/04
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
and soon to Little Man due 03/02/06
http://bd.lilypie.com/cKLom4/.png

Join the BBB Preggo Pals!!
http://s14.invisionfree.com/BBB_Preggo_Pals/index.php?act=Reg&CODE=0

[nitaghei]

I think this is the friendliest and non-judgmental board. And I don't remember any post where any mama was disrespectful or strident about diapering choices made by anyone else.

I would never have considered CD'g but for the mamas here - particularly Beth and Lori. And now I'm so hard-core I'm still doing it, even though we've moved and I have to haul dipes and my kid 18 floors to do laundry. :)

Nita (fleece is my friend)
mom to Neel, January 2003
dog mom to a PWD and a cocker (at the Rainbow Bridge)

[tarahsolazy]

Although I was thinking about it anyway (my sis CD'd), I was really convinced by Butts! Tons of regular mamas, SAHMs, WOHMs, whatever, who were really doing it, and it was no big deal.

It was a post of Pam's (toomanystrollers) that made me look up from the computer and ask DH "what do you think of cloth diapers?" He said, sounds like a good idea, and I was off and running.

Thanks, ladies! I also like that Butts is mostly about information and tips, rather than "look at what I bought". Not that those threads aren't fun, but they make other diapering forums too competitive for me!

[KrisM]

I think it's a great place. While lots of us CD, I have never heard anyone say anything nasty to someone with a question on sposies. I do read another board and it's not as nice to non-CD people. Heck, most of us have used sposies at one time or another. They're convenient and aren't exactly evil!

Anyway, I love this place. Everyone is nice and encouraging and helpful.

[lilycat88]

I can honestly saw that I've never felt made to feel inferior for our decision to use sposies exclusively. I do check this board as often as I do others and have gained a lot of knowledge about cloth diapers that I didn't have before. Still, that wasn't enough to make me feel pressured to CD. Susanna is going to be an only so there is no "passing down" of diapers and as a mom working outside the home more than full time most weeks, I couldn't cope with learning how to do one more thing. If my life situation were different, I probably would have considered CDing.

That being said, one of the reasons I do check this board is to lend whatever help I can to the non CDing set. That is the same reason I poke around the Feeding board as well...to provide support and whatever help I can to those who are formula feeding either by choice or fate.


Jamelin
Mom to Susanna born 6/29/2004

[pittsburghgirl]

I always come here first when I get on the computer, because I love everyone here.

I don't exclusively CD and at the moment we are in a down cycle (need to strip to get rid of stink but don't have time) and I like that no one has ever made me feel bad for doing so. (I have to admit that back when DS was on formula, I sometimes didn't like the tone of some of the formula question responses on the feeding forum, there was a little too much pushing for BF rather than support for whatever situation someone was in - as someone who desperately wanted to BF but had too much difficulty to do so, that really bothered me). But I digress. I have been on other BB's that definitely are not inclusive of even people who CD part-time, which is sad, we should all support each other.

(My favorite is always the comments about how much easier it is to CD. This depends so much on what your life is like but the real proselytizers make it sound like there isn't any comparison, CDing is SOOOO much easier -- something that I have not found to be the case. I CD for other reasons!)

So, thanks, CD mamas for being so awesome. (Although I do blame you for the amount of money I have spent which I had no business in spending :)

Marilee
mommy to James
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040120/1/1/1/-5/.png

[elliput]

I rarely post in Butts, but I do think that this is a very supportative and non-judgemental forum. It was my intent when I was PG to CD however, DD's DCP will only accept cloth if provided by a diaper service and I cannot afford that. So, here I am still wanting to CD, but using sposies. My intent now is to use cloth evenings and weekends, I just need to take the plunge!

[alkagift]

I think this is what makes Butts a great place--that Jamelin still hangs around to support the sposie mamas along with all the great support of the CDing mamas. We started with sposies, went to CDs for a while, then back to sposies, and now will be going back to prefolds for the end (hopefully the end, anyway) of DS's diapering career. I would have NEVER tried CD's without Butts--Pam, Lori, Beth, Debbi and Anna were all instrumental. Heck, hearing about everyone's experiences both positive and negative (Neve's crickets, Rashmi's monkey dipes) have always been SO educational. In the meantime I think I've been really informed and completely embraced by the mamas here--super helpful and sweeeeet.

Allison
Mommy to Matthew, who is two and a half!

[NEVE three BUGS and a BEE]

I am so sorry to hear that the tone of some the formula question responses on the feeding forum were upsetting, the pushing for BF rather than support for someone situation. That is so sad!!!! Especially on a message board that attracts "baby baragains" population and whose feeding forum is arranged in a way to capture all kinds of feeding questions and not just one way or the other. How unfair and inconsiderate of anyone who prays on mamas like that and affects their mamahood with their little babes!!!!

I hope this lovely community never does that!!!!!

You're awesome and we are sooo glad you are here!!!!

[NEVE three BUGS and a BEE]

that happend to me too...I had my stash and then just sat there for awhile I still remember "the plunge", the first wet CD the panic "is it supposed to be wet???"...

we are here for you if you ever take the plunge or not!!!!
heck we'll help you pick out a stash if you use it or not!!!!

we love butts!!!!

[NEVE three BUGS and a BEE]

So glad you are here!!!!

[aliceinwonderland]

I will be honest and say that I do NOT CD because of 1. environment, 2. health benefits or 3. feels better (not convinced, those Pamper Swaddlers are pretty damn nice!). I CD exclusively for the joy of a monkey-face on my DS's butt!!

The ladies here are extra extra-supportive, CD-ing is a completely different language to me (still is), so without Tarah, Eileen, Nita, Lori and SO many others I probably would have given up as I felt lost in a maze :)

[kijip]

I think this is a super supportive forum.

What I ahve noticed is that when someone posts about disposibles the replies are about disposibles or they mention switching to cloth is a joking way at the end of helpful disposible advice- like "OR join us on the dark side! LOL". Never "Disposibles are bad for these reasons and I think you should use cloth". I think therein lies the difference between this forum and some other hot button issues or other boards.

[slknight]

I think everyone else has taken the words out of my mouth (or would that be out of my fingers since we are typing? lol). But I love this place. We CD approx 3/4 of the time but I have never been judged for not being 100%. I love this place. Oh wait, I said that already. :)

[mudder17]

Oh, Marilee, big hugs! I don't think CDing IS easier (or much harder, actually). It all depends on your situation. And actually, in our case, we're not CD'ing because it's easier or harder, so it's not even an issue. I totally understand that for some people, it just doesn't work with the situation (like with my sister's current situation) and I totally support all choices made by parents. Parenting is hard enough work without having other people criticize your choices! That goes for diapering, feeding, sleeping, etc. Really, as long as the choice the parent is making is not endangering their child (like the case of an incorrect car seat installation or holding your baby in your arms while driving), we should be supporting each other 100% in whatever choices we make. And even in the case of holding the baby in the arms, well, there are ways to tell the parent and still give them your support and there are ways that are just plain criticism.

Marilee, I just had to say that I love having you here and have really enjoyed getting to know you!


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[NEVE three BUGS and a BEE]

:)

[jec2]

you tell us when and we'll be on the hunt for you!

[Dcclerk]

It's so interesting to read this, Neve. I don't visit Butts very much anymore because I am so boring... Fuzzi Bunz exclusively for both kids. (Well, C is actually potty-trained so he isn't now, but I digress...) Anyway, I realized while reading this, that the people who post in Butts ARE the people I think of when thinking of the BBB. It's all of your names, and your kids, that I take notice, and generally respond to on the other forums.

All that to say, I do think that this is a special forum, with special ladies. I decided to CD because of this forum, and my whole family has been happy with the decision. The warm fuzzies here remind me that I should be spending a little more time popping in here b/c I like you ladies so much.

Plus, it appears I need to dispell the nasty rumor that newborn poop doesn't stay in an FB...;) It does every time for us! :)

[Momof3Labs]

Thanks for starting this little celebration of the butts forum, Neve - reading it, I realize that it was long overdue! What a journey it has been!

[hez]

Ditto ;)

[marinkitty]

Kerry - I am with you on the FB thing - Jack has never pooped out of one either!

And you ladies all know how I love you. I never would have dreamed of cding without you - and it still took lurking a long while before I switched Mia over. And even when we are in our "off again" phases there is no judgment. And I am certain my stupidest/most annoying posts on the BBB have been in this forum and I was never made to feel like an idiot either.

I have not been visiting butts or the BBB as much since the diaper fetish thing - not really because of that but just busy with other things - and I do miss the mommies here! Must remember to come visit more often.

Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03) and baby brother Jack (3.23.05)

[mudder17]

Holly, you're welcome any time! :) And really, there aren't any stupid questions. How else are we to learn? The world of CD'ing can sure be complex!

Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[squimp]

I think folks here are mostly celebrating the fun of CD'ing, not trying to convert or proselytize or make anyone feel guilty. And many are willing to admit that there are many reasons for CD'ing, with the cuteness factor being high on the list. How can you be militant about cuteness??? I CD'd before I came here, but this forum was definitely my first stop at BBB and my mostly home here.

Folks here are so nice and cool, and really funny. I think this is one of the least judgmental spots on BBB, actually. I knew I'd CD, and started CDing with help on Parentsplace. But folks here are so much more knowledgeable and helpful and it feels like a community. I haven't been back there in about 2 years ;).

[todzwife]

Beth was the reason I started CDing. This forum has always been wonderfully supportive and full of some of the most wonderful women on the web. It's definately my favorite forum here :D

[holliam]

I spent a lot of time here waiting for Mari, and now that she's home I haven't had much time for you all!

Thisis by far the friendliest, non-judgemental place I've chatted about diapers.

Mari has been exclusively CDed since she came home SIX months ago! We are going on our first road trip soon, and we're doing cloth! :)

I'm still very active with local groups and people have asked me lots of questions about her diapers, and I have sold so much of my stash to local mamas to get started. It's a great feeling!

Holli

[dowlinal]

I have just taken the CD plunge and like a lot of other mama's here I would have never done it if it wasn't for this forum. I wandered over her while bored silly at work and really loved the feel of this forum and how supportive everyone was. In my mind I was still thinking of diaper pins and PFs and I was very pleasantly surprised by all of the choices. I was also entirely overwhelmed and if it wasn't for everyone help I would have never been able to figure out where to start.

This is our first week and so far it's been pretty good. I'm still petrified of leaving the house in a PF and fleece cover but I'm sure that will pass. I've decided to give it a month and then decide if we will become an all cloth family, in which case I'll need a whole NB stash. I know that either way you ladies will be there for me!

[mudder17]

Holli, come back any time! We miss you around here but also totally understand how crazy it has probably been for you! But we look forward to occasional updates. :)


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[mudder17]

>This is our first week and so far it's been pretty good. I'm
>still petrified of leaving the house in a PF and fleece cover
>but I'm sure that will pass. I've decided to give it a month
>and then decide if we will become an all cloth family, in
>which case I'll need a whole NB stash. I know that either way
>you ladies will be there for me!
We'll help you find whatever you need, whichever way you choose to go! :)

Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

[kitmama]

I just want to join the warm fuzzies- this forum is the best! I came looking for these boards to learn about CDing, and thus lucked into one of the best groups of mamas imaginable! I agree that there's something special here- extra supportive and fun. I often don't have time for the rest of the boards, but I miss Butts if I can't pop in for awhile.

[american_mama]

I haven't been in Butts much lately, but I have benefitted greatly from the helpful replies and fun commentary. I do think that sometimes posts have an anti-disposable tone, but never an anti-disposable-using mom tone, if you catch the difference. I don't think people ever attack disposable using parents specifically or in general. Occasionally, people will be quite negative towards disposables as a product, but I think that's their perogative and often a result of their experience (the disposable leaked/smelled/caused rash).

There are disposable questions here in Butts, but they are infrequent. There could be many reasons for that. I would hope that the worse a disposable-using parent would feel is that the forum is not too relevant to them, but not that they are unwelcome.

[toomanystrollers]

I'm looking forward to all the new babies coming and all that new fluff!!! We gotta a lot of boys on the way, Lori, Carolee, and those little baby girls - Rashmi, Shandelle.

We'll have to guess on Jen, Angie, and Becca. Or did Becca find out? My brain is mush :) And who did I miss?

[billysmommy]

I love reading this forum. I knew nothing about cloth diapers and reading here has made DH and I decide to cd this new little one on the way. I never would have known all the options for dipes there are without all you ladies :)

I wish I had done this with Billy, especially as I am buying some dipes now and he sees them and says they're cute and so soft. So I am buying him some training dipes/pants that are cloth.

After Christmas I am going to start buying seriously and know I'll have tons of questions for everyone :) I just want to thank everyone for always being so welcoming and friendly here no matter what the question or topic :)

[NEVE three BUGS and a BEE]

We have a lot coming!!!!
there is a boom on the BBB butts that is for certain!!!!

and many that we are all praying and hoping to celebrate in the very near future!!!!

I can't wait for our new BBB baby butts!!!!...what fun to shop with the mommies and to live thru them and their cute purchases.

Bring on the baby butts!!!!

[mudder17]

I definitely can't wait for the next round of newborn babies!!!! Pam, it's soooo good to see you around here! I've missed you! Has Neve PT'd already? Oh, and by the way, apparently my Elbees are finally on its way!


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_4_Kaya+is.png
Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz