Potty training??

[katiesmommy]

I have a friend who has a 3 year old DD. She is currently potty training her DD. She has had problems getting DD to poop on the potty. She goes pee everytime she has to go, but she doesn't want to poop on the potty. They've tryed praising her when she does go on the potty, and they have tryed watching her and making her go to the bathroom whenever she shows the signs. But she still doesn't want to do it.

Any Suggestions??

[Joolsplus2]

Have them try to detect a pattern of when she goes... is it after breakfast? After lunch? That'll help to know. And it's boring to sit on the potty... new toys and books can make it more fun for her to get through that dull waiting ;).

Other than that, I'm not much help...it took both my older kids till age 4ish with laxatives to get them to go on the toilet, so I'm infant potty training my 6 mo so I won't have to go through that nightmare again :P. My other friend had a neighbor kid, and when the 3 yo asked for a diaper to go poop, the mean neighbor said, "eew, you still do that??? gross!"... the mom wanted to strangle that mean kid, but her dd never went in her diaper again after that! Nothing like a little peer pressure (so, maybe just a fun playgroup or daycare potty experience would help? nicer than a bossy boots mean kid! lol)

Good luck to them :)
Julie CPS Tech and mom to 3 in seats
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/RFAlbum/SarahMA.aspx

[mudder17]

First off, she is totally normal--this is actually a common problem. Kaya actually went through something similar where she would wait until she had her diaper on (for naps) before she would go. In her case, it wasn't constipation that was an issue--she just didn't want to go on the potty. But she was going almost every day (like she does now), so fortunately, she wasn't getting to the constipation stage. So we just stopped asking her if she wanted to poop on the potty and about 30 minutes to an hour before her nap, we would say, "Okay, Kaya, time to put on your nap diaper so you can poop." At first we asked her, but she would inevitably say no, so we just said it was time and she willingly put on the diaper and lo and behold, she would poop. Then one day, while DH was in the bathroom, she suddenly ran in saying she needed to pee. She sat down and did both, which was amazing. She got lots of praise for that one. Then she didn't do it for another 2 weeks or so, but again, we didn't make it an issue--just said it was time to put on her diaper so she could poop. Then in July (July 1, actually), she sat down to pee and suddenly she exclaimed, "Look! Kaya pooped!" She had a really surprised look on her face, but we praised her and jumped up and down and she really thought it was neat. Since July, I think she's had exactly three poopy diapers--the rest of the time she has pooped in the potty. I think she just needed to be ready and not having the pressure on her made it easier for her to go at her own pace.

The problem with withholding poop is that it can lead to other issues such as constipation, stretching of the colon, etc., that makes the problem worse. I would recommend Keys to Toilet Training by Meg Zweiback for your friend. It's a great book with general guidelines and it takes all the guilt out of everything. Since I'm not sure if this is something that has had a sudden onset or if it's just something that is similar to what Kaya went through, I'm not going to pick and choose anything in the book. But I do think the first thing to do is to relax and not push her DD if her DD doesn't want to go. Let her poop in her diapers if that's what she wants to do. Make sure that she's going regularly so that you don't end up with a problem with constipation. If her daughter is able to communicate well enough (and I assume she can), you can have her ask her diaughter if she wants a diaper on so she can poop. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but often, taking off the pressure can really help. If her daughter did at one point go poop in the potty and suddenly she isn't, then they need to figure out why she doesn't want to. Maybe she's afraid that she's losing a part of herself? Or maybe she's afraid something is in the toilet to grab her poop? Or whatever. Does that makes sense? I'm guessing in Kaya's case, it was a combination of not recognizing the sensations of needing to poop and also it feeling a bit funny having poop come out when there's no diaper to hold it in.

Good luck!


Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 29 months...
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_-6_Kaya+is.png
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev317pp___.png
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah

[brittone2]

Logan is now peeing reliably in the potty and finally telling me even when we are out and about in public. He has pooped in the potty only 2 times or so though.

He requests the potty when he's gearing up to poop, but will only sit for a few seconds usually even if I distract him with toys, books, etc. He's just unwilling to sit for very long and gets very upset if I suggest otherwise ;)

Having gone through a year long bout of battling constipation which started after we moved to a new home, followed by a painful poop and a vicious cycle of withholding, I can tell you...it is NOT fun and no one wants to go there. Believe me. He is finally pooping pretty much daily without meds for the first time in a looooooooooong time and I'm so thankful for that.

For that reason, I'm unwilling to push the issue. He pretty much completely took all of the initiative with pee training, and now I figure I just need to be patient until he learns to poop on the potty. I'm not willing to have him go back to a cycle of withholding and constipation (which can commonly start for kids while potty training).

Like Kaya (Eileen's dd), he asks for a diaper to poop in, and for now, I'm fine with that. It would be nice if he figured it out, but I'm not chancing us going back to constipation issues. It was a nightmare.

GOod luck!

[katiesmommy]

She doesn't have her daughter in diapers at all right now, and she does really well with having control over herself while napping. She was doing really good at first, then she went with her dad for a few weeks, and she did really good with him too. It was when she got back that the problems started. She doesn't seem to withhold her pooping, she just doesn't want to go on the potty. She says that when she was with her dad, if she had an accident then he spanked her, but he says that didn't happen because she didn't have any accidents with him. So she doesn't know what to do or think.

[katiesmommy]

I love the idea of giving her a new toy or book, I think I'll do that with my daughter. I want to wait with her until we move, which is about 10-11 months away. But every day I consider more and more starting her right now.

[stefani]

I think other posters have good input for your friend. Here is my experience with DS. He has been potty trained since he was 33 months old.

He quickly figured out about peeing in the toilet, and doing it consistently enough in about a week. For pooping, he tried it a couple of times, but I think he was not patient enough to sit on the toilet, and the sensation is different from peeing. He started peeing in the toilet before bath when he was 2 years old. Anyway, we encouraged him to poop in the toilet, but we let him have a diaper when he wants to poop without fussing about it. I would also try to put the poop in the toilet and let him flush it. In about a week or so he finally figured out the pooping part.

So, I would say let her poop in the diaper but encourage her to poop in the toilet. She will catch on eventually.

Good luck to your friend.