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View Full Version : A current taker who is really working on giving/my bio



csa12
04-12-2003, 12:57 PM
Hi everyone!

After lurking on these boards since August and after reaping so much valuable advice, I 'd like to introduce myself.

My name is Cheryl and I am 30-year old 1st time mom to Liam who was born on 1/24/03. (He is napping now so I actually have time to write this!) I have been married to my DH Jason since 5/99 (dated since we were freshmen in college 1991--so that makes it 8 years before we got married-yikes!) :)

I am a SAHM but used to work in Television as a producer in DC and Raleigh. I also was planning to go back to graduate school and pursue an academic career in the liberal arts right when we found out we were pregnant last year. AS of now I plan to stay home for a year and then decide whether I want to continue on with my schooling to get my doctorate--who knows!! My Dh is a second year resident in Orthopaedics at Duke and so I never see him. Just kidding, sometimes it feels that way. If there are other wives/partners of residents we should start our own support group b/c I am finding it to be tough!

I am a NC transplant originally hailing from Maine-which I miss very dearly. My mom is still there so I try to visit her often in the summer.

I have to admit I had a very very rough time with becoming a mom. Labor adn delivery were not as difficult. My membranes were stripped on the 1/23, my contractions started early morning the 24th, I got to the hospital 6am the 24th and pushed for 45 minutes and Liam was born. It was not until we got home that I was like okay what do I do now? I read everything about strollers, car seat, cribs, but nothing about breast feeding and caring for a newborn which left me completely overwhelmed. Plus my Dh had the whopping 1 week paternity leave so he was back to work and I was alone with a little baby to take care of.

In no way to I intend to make this sound like a whiney sob story. Things are definately better now and I love love my son and love being with him. I now feel bonded to him and actually cherish nursing him in the wee hours of the morning. It's nice because its just me and him bonding further.

My whole point I guess is that during my darkest times when I felt like I couldn't be alone with my baby or could not bear with being a "mother" anymore. I would log on and find other moms in the same boat and realize that what I was feeling was normal. I also go to a new mothers group which has been tremendously helpful. No one ever tells you what to really expect partly because you have to experience it to realize it. I am so thankful for finding this board not only because now I know that I want to get a MBUS instead of a MBST-hahaha and I now know all the I ever needed to know about CDing !! :) but also because its normal for my DS to be fussy while breastfeeding just because and that its normal for me to have meltdowns about the littlest thing due to hormones and sleep deprivation.

So in a nutshell THANK YOU for the support and making motherhood a heck of a lot more fun than if I muddled through it alone. As mentioned in the subject line, I ask a bunch of questions and "take" a lot of advice off these boards and rarely offer any ( b/c this is all new to me!) so I apologize and am working on it! :)

Liam is stirring and waking up so I have to run. Thanks everyone and especially to the Fields for providing such an invaluable forum for us parents to get together!!


Cheryl :)

lisams
04-12-2003, 03:02 PM
Welcome Cheryl!! Like you , I was a lurker for a while and found this board to be such a support through everything! It's great to have you on board!!

Lisa

JulieL
04-12-2003, 07:16 PM
Cheryl,
I don't have a DH in residency, but my DH is entering MS this fall, so we have a while still infront of us. I asked some questions about having a baby in MS or residency. You can find it in The Lounge, currently on pg 6, question date last posted March 25th. I tried copying the article as an attachment, and it didn't work. Go back in the archives. There were a couple women who responded with DH's in residency. I hope to keep in touch with all women with DH's in MS or residency. It's a hard road, but with support we will all get through it. Even if some of us (namely myself), have quite a haul still to go. My DH has gone to school full time and has worked full time as well, so I totally get the don't see DH a whole lot. On average my DH has gotten about 1 weekend day off somewhere between 2 and 3 months at a time. He even worked nights for 18 months which was difficult, but we prevailed and I got independent! Not to mention he took a intership at a lab this last summer when DS was 2 months old. The intership was at a school 2 hours away. So DH only was home on the weekends for 2 months. It was a sacrifice he really felt he needed to do to help get an edge into MS. Looking back I was really lonely and just began working again, part time. It was really rough. But God helped me through it, sane, believe it or not! So I know the hard road as well. Know you're not alone and I would love to keep in touch with you. Feel free to e-mail me or send me a private message through these boards. It's always nice to have a friend or a few hundred!!! Keep up the good work as a new mama! Oh, my bio is below, titled My Bio, how original, right!, oh well it was late when I wrote it! Oh and welcome!!!

blnony
04-12-2003, 10:23 PM
I'm glad you came out of the "shadows" an joined us.
This board has been a huge asset to me for a number of reasons, but most of all I enjoy the sisterhood "or parenthood" I guess I should say for the guys. Its hard being a parent, and having company with it makes it much easier to handle, and more fun. Besides, its nice to have everyone's tips to help too.
I'm glad you've joined us, welcome again.

Annette_C
04-12-2003, 11:28 PM
Cheryl,
Welcome! Nice to have you aboard!
Don't feel badly about taking and not having had the chance to give back....your turn will come! :)
Kidding aside, we all started that way and now we are able to give each other advice/support/etc.
I know that during the times I felt I had no advice to give, it made me feel good if I could at least offer my sympathy/empathy and give a few words of comfort.
Looking forward to getting to know you better,
Annette
SAHM to Sabrina 6/24/02

jojo2324
04-13-2003, 12:09 AM
Hi Cheryl and Liam! Thanks for revealing yourself...I agree. This forum has made me realize that I am totally normal and that the range of emotions I feel or the issues I face have all been met by others before me! Of course, I still ask some of the *stupidest* questions...I am trying to think of one. Oh, asking if my kid trying to pick up a ball in with his mouth was normal or not. (Everyone was kind and said that he was...;)) But, stupid question or not, every person here answers with sincerity and kindness, and that's a wonderful thing! :)

mama2be
04-14-2003, 05:07 PM
Welcome Cheryl, glad you introduced yourself. I remembered you mentioning Durham's Costco once, and knew you lived near by. If youw ould ever like to get together with a group from raleigh I think it would be fun!!!

Let me know!!!

csa12
04-14-2003, 06:32 PM
Hi Neve!
Thanks for your response and yeah that would be great to get together with fellow board members from the Raleigh area. Is there a group that meets regularly? Do you mind emailing me at [email protected] to let me know when everyone plans on getting together.

Thanks again,
Cheryl

mamahill
04-14-2003, 09:42 PM
Just wanted to say welcome! Glad to have you and little Liam (and I LOVE the name!). Yay Cheryl!

csa12
04-15-2003, 09:58 AM
Thanks! it's funny b/c it was a last minute choice. But we are glad it popped into our heads about a week before delivering--it just felt right. Ainsleigh is a beautiful name, is that Welsh as well or Irish? All of the names we were thinking about were either Irish or Welsh (Connor?, Owen--just a coincidence) but we do love that area of Europe. Funny how parents think of their children's names!

Thanks again,
Cheryl (named after a discharge nurse who was at the hospital where I was delivered!?) :)

mamahill
04-15-2003, 11:32 AM
Ainsleigh is Welsh and Scottish, and is usually spelled Ainsley, but since Leigh is a family name, we spelled it like that. Her middle name is Fiona for my Grandma, so she has a pretty Celtic name :). And yes, we like those names as well, partly for heritage reasons, partly just because we do! Other girls' names on our list: Bronwyn, Rhiannon, Gemma, Reese.

You were named after the discharge nurse? LOL that's great! I totally loved my nurses!

pilldoc
05-16-2003, 08:09 AM
Hi Cheryl,
I read your bio and instantly felt we have shared/will share many of the same experiences. My DH also is a resident. He will be starting his last (yeah!) year of Surgery here in Savannah, GA. I understand the frustration that you must at time feel when DH is on call and both mom and Liam dearly need him home.
I am originally from Raleigh, NC and went to school at UNC-Chapel Hill. I am a clinical pharmacist at the same hospital that my DH works at. I love my job and have always been career driven, but I am looking forward to a shift in my priorities! I plan to work up until my due date (I'll be delivering at the hospital that I work at-pretty convenient :) ) I plan to return to work part time after Avery is born but finding child-care that I am comfortable with has proven to be a daunting task. The child-care places that have been recomended by friends and co-workers have a 12-16 mo wait list!!!
Congratulations on your son Liam! I am expecting our first child (a daughter)July 23rd! I was inspired to hear that your DH had 1 week off after Liam was born. As of yet, I have heard no inkling that my DH will have any time off. Did you have family come down from Maine to help you after your DH had to go back to work?
I am so looking forward to the experience of motherhood. It is however new uncharted territory. I too have found this forum to answer tons of my inexperienced motherhood questions. Hopefully I can give back when I know a little more. Keep in touch. It is nice to know that there are others sharing similiar experiences
ronda

csa12
05-16-2003, 08:40 AM
Hi Ronda!
Thanks for responding and it is so nice to meet you. WOW congratulations to you and your husband on surviving the long road of a surgical residency (7years?). That is incredible and to cap it off with the birth of your first child is wonderful. I will keep you in my thoughts when July 23rd rolls around--enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy! (I so loved being pregnant! :) )

To answer your question: yes i had family come down to help, but it wasn't after a month of being alone with Liam. At that point it was very difficult for me--I couldn't be alone with him and that frightened me. But after my mom and my brother and his wife came down for a few days it got better and allowed me to recharge. Fortunately my Dh was on a more lax rotation so he was able to be home fairly early every night to help me too. How about you? Will you have other family with you? I hope your DH can get adequate time off--hopefully your Dh's department is more family friendly!

It was good to hear from you and yes it is nice to see that others share similar experiences. Good luck with the daycare situation and your transition into motherhood. It is definately an exciting time.
Take care and please keep me posted!
Cheryl :)