A joyful surprise! Anyone with 2 under 2?!

[akc]

Hi -

I'm Alexa - I've been an avid poster, so you may have read something by me out there. I just found out about this group (didn't scroll down, I suppose). I also just, just, just found out that we are expecting a second baby (as you might infer, it was a surprise!). Our DD Maeve is 11 mos now and will be 20 mos then (obviously). I'm super excited, but DH and I are little overwhelmed at the prospect of a newborn and a 20-month old. We are thrilled, but had talked about a little later when DD was a bit over 2 years old. Most of plans were to pass her stuff on (crib, changing table, etc.) and now we might have to get double?!

Anyone out there have 2 under 2 as well? I'll take any advice I can get. What did you get or not get? What was hardest? Will we survive?

Also, can you help me get over the fact that I'm a little sad for DD. She's gotten wonderful attention (a lot b/c she was the only granchild on both sides too), but she won't have had much time alone. The first born is always special, so b/c I'm so weepy these days, I'm all teary thinking she's not even a year, and I'm already having to think about the one growing for next year! In the end, we'll say we were so glad they were close in age, but now I'm feeling a bit guilty over the quick move on.

Thanks to all of you -
Alexa
EDD #2 - 2.22.04

[stella]

I have 2 under 2! Congratulations!! Everyone I talk to swears that their babies spaced this way really play well together and are very close.

Mine are 17 mos apart. My older child is a boy and younger a girl. It was a total surprise - especially after fertility treatments with the first child.

It's going to be fine. Just get some help and don;t plan on taking 2 of them anywhere with just you. It can be done, but it's very intense and best saved for emergencies. I take them both to the park or to a friend's house where I will either have help from other moms (even those you don't know are very kind when you're in this situation). Target and the mall or grocery are just out of my league!

My older child will be 2 this month and so my dd is 7 months. He really does love her although he can be rough with her. But he's a baby too and I try to be very patient and just focus on the really bad stuff - like trying to pick her up and throwing his sippy cup at her. More often than not, he is sweet to her. He asks about her when we go somewhere w/o her.

My advice is to get her into a mother's day out program - here they are 2 mornings a week and held in churches, so that she has somewhere to go and you will have some time with just the little baby. I had my child in (and I'm sure some will say it was too much, but I was sooo tired and he loved it) 4 mornings a week.

That way, nothing changed too much when the baby arrived and he had a routine that would allow me to have some time to rest and take care of #2.

My older is still in his crib and we borrowed a crib for #2. By now you know what you will and won't need, so I would borrow since your older child won't be in her crib for too much longer (although I want my son in his just as long as possible!).

It really is a lot of fun and I know it's going to be great when the baby is about a year and can play with him. It's just a lot of diapers and not a lot of eating out and a whole lot of babies, but I find it easier to just surrender to the chaos!

You'll do great - Congratulations - what a blessing for your family!!!

[MartiesMom2B]

Congrats Alexa. I can't offer any help to you on the subject though. I'm sure that you'll do great.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[egoldber]

Congrats!!!

[mharling]

I can't offer any advice either :(, but wanted to send my congrats! Yes, I'm sure you'll survive. ;)

Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b33928e40550

[mama2be]

Alexa,

This is excellent news!!!! Wow we are having a baby boom on our boards. From everything I can tell you are a fatastic mommy and the age difference I am certain will work out just great!!!!
Hugs,
NEve O

[chrissyhowie]

Congratulations! My sister and I are close together in age. It was so great growing up together as we often had the same friends and interests. Best wishes for a wonderful pregnancy!

[Annette_C]

Congratulations Alexa!!
It'll be ok. My first two are 21 mo. apart and, although it was a little tough in the beginning, it was great having them grow up together! They played and entertained each other so well that it took some of the burden off of me.
Plus, if I remember correctly, Maeve is a good baby (unlike my first who never slept...day or night!) therefore making your life a little easier.
Best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy.
Annette
SAHM to Sabrina 6/24/02

[parkersmama]

Congratulations!! That is terrific news! You seem to be delighted with the surprise. :-) I don't have 2 that close together but having young kids close in age is fun. After those first months, you'll be an old pro and take things easily in stride!

[atlbaby]

Congratulations Alexa!!! I'm expecting #2 as well, but they will be just about 24 months apart. It's going to be tough in the beginning I expect, but in the end it will be so wonderful to have two little ones so close in age! I'm an only, so I've always wanted a big family--and that's a mantra I'm bound to be repeating to myself in those early months!:)

I hope you have an easy and enjoyable pregnancy! Congratulations again!!!

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01
#2EDD 10/24/03-Another Girl!:)

[Andrea S]

Congrats!!!

Andrea
mom to Andrew 8/14/02

[twins r fun]

Congrats on your little surprise! I am sure your two little ones will have a blast growing up together. I have two under two, but my situation is a little different so I'm not much help with your questions. But I think it is definitely a situation where you figure out how to manage whatever you have and to make it sane and enjoyable. People think twins is crazy, I think triplets is (or twins and an older one), and I'm sure they think quadruplets is! You will make it work for you. I can understand your concerns about your DD, though. I often feel bad for my boys in that they miss out on so much (I could give you quite a list) by not being a singleton. But then I think about all the benefits now and later that they would miss out on if they were an only or had siblings spaced far apart (again I could give you quite a list). It all balances out! I wish you the best with your preganancy and your transition to a two child family.

[August Mom]

Congratulations!

[celfsh]

No advice here--just wanted to say congrats and good luck! What a wonderful surprise! I'm sure everything will work out great! Keep us posted..

celeste
mom to olivia 9/25/02
http://homepage.mac.com/the_big_fish

[mamahill]

Congratulations! Wonderful news - best wishes for a fantastic pregnancy:)!

[akc]

Hi all -

Thank you so much for making me feel confident that I can handle this! I feel so guilty b/c I know that I've been blessed...just a little sooner than predicted. It just requires some replanning - and, I'm sure we'll be able to get through it. You'll probably see me on and around the boards more actively now! I have to confess that I've been a little excited to look at cribs and do another nursery. Neve (above) knows that I love to design nurseries! I went out and got the new edition of BB b/c I needed the new info - it's amazing how much it changes in just a year!

By the way, is there a spot/separate conference for 2nd time Moms? There should be! It's such a different game this time around. EDITED: I just took the bull by the horns and added a post in the "Suggestions" area that they add a category, "2nd time around or more" for Mom's with more than one. If you like the idea, you could probably add reply! If not, I'll just have to figure out how to do keep finding y'all!

Thanks again - hugs to you all!
Alexa

[jojo2324]

Congrats Alexa!

[JMarie]

Congrats Alexa! You're going to do just fine. My brother and I are 20 months apart and my mother says we were wonderful with each other. He loved to feed me (which is why, at three months, I had an ice cream cone smashed in my face...) and 'hold' me (sitting in this huge chair surrounded by pillows...), and we were relatively close growing up. My mother put him in a toddler bed when I was out of the bassinet (around three months), but would have preferred keeping him in a crib a little longer. If you have a bassinet, I would use that for as long as possible before moving to the crib, if you're not getting a second one. I'm sure Maeve will love getting a big girl bed, though!

Jennifer
Mom to Aidan Christopher 01/28/03

[Rachels]

Wow! Congrats, Alexa! I don't think you need to do anything to quickly get over your sadness about Maeve's sudden big-sister status, either. With any change comes loss, and it's okay to grieve that. There's no rush. You will be in love and delighted with your new baby and it will in no way diminish your love for your first! Soak up this time with Maeve. You'll all have room to expand your family when the new baby arrives.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02