Baby tries to lean out of carrier, and he's heavy, and my shoulder hurts. HELP!

[HoneymoonBaby]

My son Ian is nearly 8 months old. He weighs about 20 pounds and is tall for his age, about 29".

Because I carried him in a Baby Bjorn so much as a small infant, I think he got the idea that "dead weight" is the way he should be carried. Next baby, I'll be using a pouch as much as possible. It seems a bit more natural. I see other children help their moms out when it comes to being carried on the hip (i.e. they hold on with their hands and wrap their thighs around Mom), but Ian rarely does. He just hangs there like he's in the Bjorn or something and I end up supporting ALL of his weight with my arm, which kills.

Since he's too big for the Bjorn, I purchased a Hip Hammock to carry him in and initially liked it well enough (when I bought it, he was only 15 pounds and not as squirmy). But I find it difficult to adjust, I dislike the feel of the shoulder strap on my bony shoulder, and Ian spends the entire time trying to lean out of it. He leans and leans and leans and it puts so much pressure on my shoulder and it just kills. OUCH. Sometimes he is content to just chew/teethe on the buckle and that's a little easier on my back, but he ends up drooling all over my shirt.

SO, WHAT SHOULD I GET? I've got my eye on the Mei Hip Carrier and the Walking Rock Farm HipBaby. I'm curious about Hotslings, but skeptical that a mere pouch will contain my leaning (and wiggling) tower of Ian. I'm not up for anything earthy or crunchy-looking, that is so not my style. Even the Mei Hip is a stretch for me aesthetically, KWIM? So ring slings with tails are out. And while I've always wanted a KKAFP, now is not the time to buy one of those because I live in Virginia, where it's 95 degrees with 95% humidity in the summertime. Fleece is simply not an option, comfy though it may be. (Well, on further reflection, maybe I could be talked into it for just the next few months . . . )

Given my needs and preferences, do you expert babywearers have any suggestions? Thoughts? Help? Please? :)

Oooh, ETA:

It would probably help you guys to know my body type. I'm 5'7", about 130 pounds and not in the best shape of my life right now. I'm thin and have very thin bones but have fairly large breasts that already put too much stress on my back. I have a butt, but my hips are pretty bony. So I have bones right where the carrier pressure points are and a weak back. Not the best babywearing combination. Hope this helps you give advice.

[npace19147]

If you have a weak back you might want to look into a mei tai or an Ergo. Both of those are two-shouldered carriers that will help support your baby's weight better than a pouch, esp. if your baby is not helpful on the hip carry! The mei tai does have a bit of a learning curve but is super comfy when you have it down. Check out www.sachicarriers.com for a nice one that doesn't have a long wait list. The ergo is similar to the bjorn but has a waist strap that helps to distribute the weight more evenly so it isn't just off your shoulders. It has no learning curve and buckles so it is easy, but a little more expensive. HTH!

[HoneymoonBaby]

I looked up the Ergo and also found something called the Sutemi pack that looks a little more attractive . . . what do you think of this pack?

[lenad]

I have a Mei Hip carrier, but think that it might be too short for your son. Probably the same for a pouch. Can you try them out at a workshop in your area or get in contact with someone who has them?

I don't have any other carriers you mentioned, but I think I know what you mean about slings being an aesthetic stretch for you (I never even considered ring slings). That said, my Mei Hip is just beautiful, it is the Hamburg pattern (stripes) on one side and khaki on the other, totally modern looking. I personally found it very hard to reconcile my aesthetics with the comfortable carriers out there, so I sort of gave up on aesthetics. Well, not really, ... my wraps are beautiful, but not in a sort of a chic city slick way. And the reason I now have 2 woven wraps and plan on getting a third one for the summer is that they are so amazingly comfortable and versatile. So I am going to recommend you try a wrap, and see whether it might work for you well enough to give up sleekness.

You might also want to post this question on http://www.thebabywearer.com, ladies there have enormous knowledge of carriers.

LD

[betsydenny]

I have an ergo and highly recommend it. I just looked at the sutemi online and think the ergo is better because the straps dont cross on your chest the way the sutemi do. The ergo has a sternum strap like most backpacks which isnt as confining or compressing as the cross straps of the sutemi.

If you are looking to hip carry, I would highly recommend teh KKAFP. I know it gets hot, but I can happily carry my 2 yr old who is 30 lbs without a problem and it is very comfortable on my carrying shoulder- more so than the hotsling so far (just got it)becase the KAKFP has a wider span on my arm and has more stretch.

So I would say Ergo for the long haul if you are carrying a lot, or KKAFP for hip carry and easy on and off. Since your guy is used to the bjorn I bet he would be happiest in the Ergo.

Good luck
Betsy

[npace19147]

If you search on here for both ergo and sutemi you'll find lots of reviews of both. I have never tried a sutemi but since it crosses in front a lot of people say it's not good for large-chested women, esp. if BF'ing. (squeezes the chest uncomfortably) - but other people really like it. IMO the ergo is the most "mainstream" looking of non-bjorn carriers.

[tarahsolazy]

Embarassingly, I own or have owned every carrier mentioned on this thread. My DS is now about 25 lbs, and has been carried a lot since birth in various contraptions. DH loved the Bjorn, and as a SAHD with a babe who liked carrying, DS spent a fair bit of time in it. DH doesn't like slings, so when DS outgrew the Bjorn, we bought a baby trekker www.babytrekker.com for DH to use. It is essentially like a Bjorn, but can be used on the back, too, and up to 45lbs. It has a waist belt, which takes a lot of the weight. This might be an option for you. I think its comfy, but I prefer other carriers. I had a Sutemi, which was extremely comfy as a front carrier, but I didn't like the cross-over straps in the back carry. I now have an Ergo, which I am adjusting to, for a back carrier. I haven't tried it in the front, because I love my Kozy carrier for that. I just used the Mei Hip yesterday at the mall for about an hour or so, and it was COMFY! Especially because mine is stretch twill, I think... DS did lean a bit, but not too bad. Mine has a burberry-esque plaid on it, and black twill, so its not too crunchy, and now they make them with a clip instead of rings, too. Still a tail involved, though...

[Momof3Labs]

I think that you'll find the WRF hip baby to be just as uncomfortable as the hip hammock - I sure did! They were both awful as far as putting a lot of pressure on the neck/shoulder.

I have a very tall kiddo and like pouches because I can pull the material all the way up under his arms, keeping him relatively contained. The KKAFP works well for us, but I know that you said that it was too hot for you. How about the KKACP (cotton version)? That one also works quite well for us.

[quikeye]

I'd echo any comments you've already received (we use a pouch for hip carry, which I find to be the least "crunchy" since it's about as simple as you can get)-- but just wanted to lend you my support. My son, who's been carried in a carrier since day 3, LOOOVES leaning out of this carriers now, and for the past few months. He thinks it hilarious :) So it may be a phase...

For chic pouches, check out www.chicpapoose.com -- I have the chuck & think it's very stylish :) It's also cotton/thin cord, so not warm like fleece. Also, when you carry babe in a hip carry in a pouch, it's a lot less warm than when you wear them t2t or cradle-- since they're not pressing their body weight against you (at least imo-- I wear my Mom and Me even when it's warm, but if it's SUPER WARM i'll reach for the CP). I find my mnm less warm than the kkafp, but that's just my experience.

Good luck!! :)

[pittsburghgirl]

I have a mei tai and I LOVE it. It's not a hip carrier but I find that I can put DS on front or back easily enough and he really likes it. BTW I had the Hip Hammock and stopped using it because he got too heavy. DS can't lean out of the mei tai, the body of the carrier goes up high enough, plus you wear it very snug. Mine is cotton and I don't find it gets too hot unless we are both wearing too much. I use it grocery shopping a fair amount and for quick trips into stores. No problems having my hands free for a few minutes here and there.

I tried an Ergo and it didn't fit me well. I'm also 5'7" but I have wide hips and the wide waist strap rode up into my ribs too easily. I'm not small chested and I found that it squished me too much. (I don't mind the mei tai straps, even crossed in front, the straps are thinner at the point where they cross.) I looked at the Sutemi but the thick straps bothered me.

HTH.
Marilee
mommy to James
http://lilypie.com/baby1/050120/1/0/1/-5/.png

[HoneymoonBaby]

Wow, thanks for all the replies. I am even more confused than when I started, though!

So, I'm definitely leaning toward a Mei Tai type carrier now. I like the ones at Freehand Baby and a couple I saw some other places. I'm also curious about wraps, but feel sure I'd never figure them out even if they are more comfy. I quitle literally didn't catch on the to proper way of tying my SHOE until I was a freshman in college, so a wrap is probably a little beyond my spatial reasoning skills.

I guess I should just take the plunge and order something, but I hate spending money without trying things on. I think there's a lady near me who offers sling clinics, though, so I'll see what I can find out about that and maybe try before I buy.

Thanks again . . .

[quikeye]

Hi! WHere are you located? maybe you have a BWing mama near you who could lend you one to try out :)

(I'm in east bay, CA)

[HoneymoonBaby]

Well, I've ordered a Hotsling. I figured for forty dollars, I'd see how I like it. An ABC might be more comfy, but it looks tough to get a kid on and off in back carry and what I need above all is convenience as this will be used around the house and for shopping trips. We use a stroller for everything else.