View Full Version : Gosh I am bummed...

01-02-2004, 12:26 AM
There is yahoo group geared to adopting in Ukraine. It is actually filled with folks who have adopted and their continuous plugs on their facilitator and who they use and constant nit picking amoung eachother.

It is truely a mean forum, they attack everyone from someone saying "why waste your money going thru an agency when you can go Indy"...and then someone mad they used the term "waste"...I mean it is UGLY!!!

I can't get over how a site geared to such a beautiful thing and new parents and helping others can be so mean.

Now they are over there attacking a poor women whose fiance was injured on the job has put in well above what he need to to get disability from his social security which he paid into...and they are attacking this women for wanting to adopt and treating her like she is the poorest of the poor and isn't worthy to do so...

Goodness gracious...
I want a nice adoption yahoo group...
Why are people so mean in this world???
and then everyother word out of their mouth is "god" and "his plan" and "what he wants" but those are the gals who are the meanest!!!

AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

Kimberly H
01-02-2004, 07:38 AM
Neve, the big China group (APC) is like that. 11,000+ folks and they torment each other and attack left and right. I still read it, but you'll seldom see me post there because the email you get when someone doesn't agree with you...oy!

For us, it's the DTC and agency-specific groups that are the best. They're smaller, filled with people whose dossier went to China when ours did or who use our agency. I also like the China Travel and CarryOn Only groups - again, smaller and friendlier.

Does the facilitator you're thinking of using have a Yahoo Group?

01-02-2004, 10:50 AM
Thank you for responding...I don't think he does, but his competitors do, he is acually in Ukraine and I'd love to have him start one I think I'll suggest it.

Really it is such a downer yet it is the only place to get you questions answered...

Are you getting excited or what????...I bet you are going crazy that it's here...January!!!!
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

Kimberly H
01-02-2004, 07:19 PM

We leave a week from TODAY so you can imagine the frenzy, panic, excitement and total denial that anything is up. Rather like giving birth, just with international travel! ;D

I actually have a pretty long 'to do' list but many things are not really HAVE TO's and those that are, besides finish packing, are things that will only take a moment or two, they just need doing.

Tuesday is my last day at work so I'll have 2 full days to do the serious stuff - dogs to kennel, last loads of laundry, PACKING, etc. - and the not-so-serious stuff - pedicure and eyebrow waxing.

01-03-2004, 01:10 AM
It is funny that the big APC group is like that. My first adoption was in 2001 from Guatemala. The listserv is a huge group but the postings seem to be more of an intelligent sort. They don't constantly try to start flame wars for referrals or ask questions on dossier prep that they should be getting from their agency. I am just DTC December so our yahoo group is just starting up. Did your website manager ask for donations? I am a little surprised. I don't feel real comfortable mailing a check to somebody I don't really know that volunteered to do a job.

Good luck on your travel. We have the long wait ahead.
Emmie mother to DD 13, DD 3, and DD?

Kimberly H
01-03-2004, 07:32 AM
Emmie, congratulations on your DTC! Do you have your log-in date yet?? We were blessed to be received at CCAA and logged-in on March 31st - we could've easily been April DTC.

Our website manager didn't ask for funds but she's in a position financially to be able to do it without help. However, I'm not at all happy with the website - I've tried 3 times to get our referral photo up and she says she can't get it up or didn't receive it, etc. Since Mia's up on the volunteer CCAI referral photo site, our PictureTrail site, and several Yahoo Groups, I finally gave up. Don't get me started on the lack of site content either. They spent weeks on the design - and it's pretty - but not much there.

Oh, and they got all mad at Rochelle, who does most groups' DTC pins, and removed her from the Yahoo group and the webmaster designed another. Great, and it's prettier than Rochelle's original design, but we didn't get them until after referral. Ugh. Still no t-shirts, though those were ordered months ago too.

Yikes, this should've gone in the bitching folder!

And I'm sure you already know that the current wait from DTC to referral is 8 months so your wait might not be THAT long!!

01-03-2004, 11:32 AM
How sad. I guess what makes it even more sad is just that these people are or are going to be PARENTS and moulding young minds. =(

01-20-2004, 03:21 PM
Neve -- you may want to check out the yahoo groups for Adoptions Together (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ATIFamilyNetwork/?yguid=155140870). It's not an 'official' group of ATI so they do welcome non-ATI people.

I've only been on it for a little while but it's very supportive.

You may also want to check out Families for Russian/Ukrainian Adoptions at www.frua.org. This site is not affiliate w/any agency. It's simply a website for parents who have adopted from or are considering adopting from Eastern Europe. Great site for information and support. Anyone can browse and post their message boards and for a small fee (usually about $35), you can join a local chapter. The local chapters (at least mine) has great local resources and networking opportunities.

Not everyone out there is nasty :-)

01-21-2004, 10:18 AM
Thank you for your reply...

I know not everyone is nasty, infact had it not been for some I wouldn't even have gotten this far, and the advice you do get from this "mean" yahoo board is excelling advice, for example who would have known you need "crisp new money bills" to keep the Ukraine people happy!!!!

I just see so much attacking, and it is clear attacking and then to have it end with "god bless" or something just really doesn't seem right, and I'm not even too religious, for instance I'd never ever think to end an email in "god bless" but the attacking with that seems to offend me more than anyone.

I have visited that www.frua.com site and it looks excellent, I need to earn how to read it as a user, for the way I go to it the post seem so old, and I haven't figured out how to make it "user friendly" to read...

I will visit the site you are talking about above too...
Thank you so much for your response!!!
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

01-21-2004, 06:27 PM
Not about adoption, but funny.
One of my co-workers is from the Ukraine area. Her elderly relative would wash and iron the money! Sorry the site is filled with flames.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02