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View Full Version : PLEASE READ- THOUGHTS ON THIS FORUM!!!!



NEVE and TRISTAN
02-18-2004, 06:38 PM
Hey everyone, I am so glad that we have this adoption forum here on the BBB boards. I will be honest I truly think that the combination of my ectopic pregnancy in August AND the formation of an adoption board is what has lead me to adoption. I wonder many times if I was not a particpant on this board if the stars would have truly lined up for me to consider this...

BUT WHAT I REALLY WANT US TO READ: Even though we have this adoption board I so don't want us to feel like just because we are adopting anything adoption related has to go here...for instance this news of referals etc... I hope folks don't hesitate to put that in the lounge or to even ask questions there...some might prefer to put it only here, I jsut want to make certain that we all feel like we could sing that news in the lounge as well...

I can see why adoption hints, process, best SW agency info would be here for research info...and of course referal info too if this is where folks want it put BUT just because the great news is adoption related I jsut hope none of us feel like this is the only place we can sing the joys of it!!!!

Does that make sense???? I so hope so, keep in mind I have Tristan trying to shove blocks in my mouth and touch the keys while I type... I'm just empowering (for lack of a another word in my brina right now) us to know that just because it is adoption related does not mean TO ME that is has to be exclusively here...

I know our community well and many many want to celebrate such great news as referals so even cross posting I think is grand!!!!


Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

Kimberly H
02-18-2004, 06:46 PM
Neve, I think you're right. Stuff that's strictly adoption-specific belongs here, family-related stuff can go on other boards too.

I received all kinds of posts and PMs from people who were following our journey with Mia here and some are even considering adoption now! Even those who just wanted to say they were enjoying the photos were a blessing because it was one more person showering love, prayers and good thoughts on our little girl. Wonderful!

Holly's due home today (wahoo), Kristen has referral (yay) and we got our Certificate of Citizenship yesterday (yippee) - this board is plugging along. Neve, you're next, girlfriend!!

NEVE and TRISTAN
02-18-2004, 08:20 PM
...just to clarify not saying it shouldn't be here...just saying feel free to share that love an enthusiasm with all!!!!! I actually think both places a good spot, for here with the fewer topics it stays "fresh" for those researching...there it is enjoyed by all but in a few days (week) it will head on over to the archives...

WOW Holly is coming home today...can't wait...
...I'm not certain I'm next keep in mind with Steve's job change we are looking at April 2005 to travel...we could possibly go in Feb (that would be a year) but the weather, unsafe drives and commutes of 12 hours each way to see one referal if I take Tristan seems to scarey...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

emmiem
02-18-2004, 10:19 PM
I might be one of the next ones to travel. We are DTC December 2003 so we are looking to have our referral in August. The wait is so hard. When we adopted from Guatemala in 2001, it seemed easier not only because the wait is shorter but that you got your referral fast and waited 6 months to travel after the court process. With China, it's the exact opposite.

Anyway, this is a great place to put strictly adoption related info but of course we can post anyway!
Michele

Kimberly H
02-19-2004, 12:15 AM
Michele, a manager at work is going back for #2 this summer (she's DTC 9/03) and I told her I'd go with her if she's paying. She's a single mom and taking #1 with her.

It looks like June DTC might be on its way (if APC folks are right) so you're getting closer...

yellowdogmom
02-19-2004, 10:16 AM
I agree, Neve. Very good thoughts. I don't hang out in the Lounge too much, so I'll have to check it out...especially since I really should ban myself from the stroller, layette, and diaper bag forums!!!

NEVE and TRISTAN
02-19-2004, 11:53 AM
I don't think anyone said this should be strictly adoption related...I think the emphasis was not on this forum as much as this great news will be enjoyed by everyone and the lounge forum...and thus if we have good news to share I think folks should not feel since the word "adoption" is in their thread that they have to put it here...

In other words when I travel I will be posting it in the lounge, if I cry over something adoption related in the process I will put it in the lounge, if I am rejoicing over something in the adoption process I will put it in the lounge NOT BECAUSE ANYONE SAID IT DOESN'T BELONG HERE...but because my joys, cries, travel TO ME should be celebrated jsut as if I was joying, crying etc... with a pregnancy...

Anyway folks got my gist I can tell...

just responding kindly to your "of course..."
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

crl
02-19-2004, 09:13 PM
I agree that I've found all the boards to be very adoption friendly. I've prefaced some of my carrier, etc questions with a bit about how we're adopting because it sets up the question.

We're dtc Oct. 2003 and eagerly anticipating referral in June. . . . but it seems you never know until it happens.

Here's hoping all of our waits are tolerable--we know they'll be worth it!

smkinc
02-20-2004, 02:28 AM
Neve,

I now understand your point "..NOT BECAUSE ANYONE SAID IT DOESN'T BELONG HERE...but because my joys, cries, travel TO ME should be celebrated jsut as if I was joying, crying etc... with a pregnancy..."

I lurked on the boards for months during the adoption process and didn't even post until J. was placed with us (almost a year ago). I'm glad you stated this so clearly since I never felt comfortable sharing these things in a broader forum--mainly because I didn't think anyone would really understand what I was going through. The process we went through with domestic open adoption, was basically get your paperwork done and wait for someone to pick you--the range of wait times for our agency was 2-24 months.

I will never know what it's like to give birth. Just like someone who's never adopted will never know what it's like to wait. I think your point is that the lounge forum should be a place of support for those going through both processes, and adopters shouldn't feel relagated to this board for support during the process. Right?

Mary
Mom to Jeremiah 2/4/03
and our 'first' Curie (6 year old Golden Retriever)

NEVE and TRISTAN
02-20-2004, 10:33 AM
Yes that is exactly my point...:)
I guess I'm just trying to imagine my self as I go thru process, and maybe it's because I have been on these boards awhile that I feel the warmth and can encourage others to feel this...

But I imagine as I leave to travel I will post it here so that newbies wanting to know about Ukraine or adoption in general will have this in their search if they only come here to the boards...but I also will 100% feel like I should and would post in the lounge to for htis is big news to the community at large just like a baby being born...

and if I get frustrated about my dossier I probably will post it here since I didn't know what a dossier was I can imagine no one would maybe really know about that elsewhere...

BUT if I get frustrated in general about the wait etc... I just feel comfortable posting that where I'd post about other things in my life...

I jsut don't want anyone thinking that this is an island where only adoption info can go...For instance when Kim got her referal the adoption board was new and not really checked out by others (understandably)...I wrote in the lounge "good news in the adoption forum" EVERYONE was thrilled to be apart of this news whether they adopt or not...I think that good news has opened up this forum for folks to come on over and check out what is going on some since because they realise there is some celebrating going on over here too....

I just KNOW that the lounge (I use that term to capture the commmunity as a whole) wants to hear great news from the adoptions...and I know they want to support us for bumps in the road just like we all are supported for bumps in the road...

Anyway I'm rambling...:)
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

McQ
02-20-2004, 12:23 PM
I just wanted to post another plug that all are welcome to come hang out in the Lounge. We'd love to hear the stories and share the joys and sorrows. Not that you needed an invitation or any thing :)

Even tough we're not doing an adoption, I still come over here to hang out and read your posts because I always get a warm fuzzy when I read about your referrals, travel logs and see your pictures. I enjoy sharing your excitement and joy. So thanks for letting me celebrate with you all. But like Neve said, don't think you have to limit the posts to here.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

Kimberly H
02-20-2004, 02:42 PM
I'm so glad Neve posted my info in the Lounge because of the overwhelming response we received from folks in this community!

Until then, I'd felt odd posting on the "regular" boards because my bio kids are older than most and no one else who'd adopted was posting much.

Now I post whenever I want on whatever board I want, LOL!

amp
02-24-2004, 07:19 PM
Just wanted to agree with Neve and Allison. Even though many of us are not adopting, we still *love* to share the joys of parenthood...whatever way we get there! Please don't feel that you must stay in the adoption forum. Parents are parents! Please, please, please, in any forum, ask away! :D