Adoptive mommies, how are you passing the time?

[holliam]

So, what's everyone doing to pass the time til we get to bring home our babes? Sometimes I think it's a cross between a blessing and a curse that we have all this time to wait! We can spend so much time researching things without the misery of morning sickness, etc. holding us back. :) But, it means I can spend too much time researching things too! It's definitely helping to pass the time, though.

It's weird because during our struggle with infertility and miscarriages, I just never felt like it would ever be real. Now that we have a referral I feel like I can finally start working on things for her.

I'm still working on the nursery! We ordered her furniture about 6 weeks ago, and we're hoping it arrives this week. We did manage to get the room painted, but we still need to put up a border, get frames for some prints. We're doing a "fairy" theme, and I'm hoping it's going to look so cute when we're finished.

I am also still researching baby products. My mom bought us our carseat this week; we went with the Roundabout. I am getting a Jane Powertrack from a friend in the UK so the stroller research is done now. I'm still not sure about highchair and a ton of other things because I'm not sure how old she'll be when she comes home. I did buy a few different slings to experiment with.

I've also bought clothes in all different sizes. We can send Lily packages each month so at least I know she'll get to use the clothes even if I don't see her. I admit to spending more time/money on the super cute clothes in the 6+ month sizes.

I can't seem to buy any toys for some reason. I just feel like it's harder to do that. I've been buying books, though. In her first package we sent, we included a recording of us reading her stories and singing her songs. I hope the foster mom doesn't think we're crazy. :)

I also already started her scrapbook. I'm a long-time obsessed scrapper. I started doing the pages about the paperwork, choosing an agency, etc. I think I'm going to wait to do the pages about her referral, etc. until she's home. I'd like to have the perspective that will bring me.

Is anyone keeping a journal? I am though I'm not writing in it as regularly. I'm keeping all the emails I send people too, etc.

What's everyone else doing??

Holli

[Tracey]

Hi Holli,
I am not an adoptive Mommy, but I read this board anyway. It makes me really happy to see adoptive Moms find their children. I just wanted to say that I am absolutely thrilled for you! Since you get to send packages to Lily, have you considered sending an Ookie Doll? It's a little flannel doll that holds the mother's scent. That way, you could feel like you are with her and she would know your scent. As far as the wait goes, I think you are doing great staying so busy. I know you can't wait to have her in your arms!

I will never forget a little girl I saw on TV one time. She was about four and someone asked her did she know what it meant that she had been adopted. She said proudly, "Oh yes, that means I was born in my Mommy's heart instead of her belly."

[holliam]

That is so funny! We sent her a snoedel which actually looks like the exact same thing!

http://www.snoedel.com/snoedelset.htm

We slept with that thing for over a week so it should sufficiently have mom and dad's scent on it. I was plucking cat hair off it for hours! lol

I got a second doll to keep with us. I'm going to bring it with us when we visit her to soak up her scent and Guatemala scents and bring it home with us. Then she'll have it when she finally comes home.

Thanks so much for your warm comments and thoughts. This is such an exciting time!!

Holli

[crl]

Hi Holli,
Well, I'm not really the journal sort, which is probably too bad. But I am pretty obsessive about reasearching so I've done a lot of that--especially cloth diapers lately.

We've got our nursery pretty much together--walls painted yellow, ceiling like the sky with clouds, curtains with ladybugs and dragonflies. I haven't bought much in the way of clothing at all since we don't know age, gender or size yet. But we do have some toys and books. And our diaper wipes now. ;-)

Work is keeping both of us really busy right now, which is frustrating but less time to think. . . .

Soon we won't have enough time, we'll be busy taking care of our little ones!

Catherine
adopting from China

[emmiem]

You are all so lucky! I have not started anything. I did buy two carseats in the coop. I am so busy with my 3 yo and 14 yo that I have little time left (except to read the boards and APC messages). I need to clean out the furniture in the spare bedroom before painting. I did buy the linen at PBK when the pattern I liked went on sale. The life book is staring at me but I have not started it. We are going through a rough time with the toddler so I am exhausted at the end of the day. With Chinese adoptions, we don't get our referral until the end so there is no picture to motivate you like our previous Guatemalan adoption. I won't be buying any toys. We have enought and plenty of books too! I did purchase a chinese talking doll. It is for 3 and up but I think with supervision it could be for our 1 year old. It has some clothing pieces that are small. I know I should be collecting the gifts I need for travel. Any ideas?

Michele

[hjdong]

Michele - I completely obsessed about gifts for travel (in fact, you could find my pre-travel post about it somewhere on this board), and it turned out to completely not matter. That said, I wish I had brought some toys to leave for the orphanage. I left some clothes, but they gave Jamie a toy - and their supply was rather low, so I wish I had brought some. Also, all of the caretakers at his SWI were women - I don't know if that's usual, but we did see something on the news about how male Chinese kindergarten teachers had a hard time, so I suspect nursery workers would have an even harder time. Anyway, he had a total of eight caretakers, so I would have, in hindsight, brought a bunch of make-up samples or nice, small toiletries, so they could have split them very easily.

In general, for everyone waiting, something I wish I had done during the wait is more cleaning out/organizing. I THOUGHT I got a lot done before travel, but I'm now realizing I wish I had done more, and I have less time to do it in! Also, for clothing suggestions, since you generally don't know what size they're wearing, I recommend getting clothing for your climate. What I mean is, we live in a generally hot place. A lot of people gave me winter clothes (very kindly I may add) and two weeks after we got home, the temp. was in the 90s and has rarely been much cooler. I have a ton of stuff he got one or no wears out of and I had to run out and buy shorts. Had I been thinking I would have picked up at least some more warm weather clothing, even if it has been unusually warm.

I hope everyone's wait flies by!

[malie]

Well one thing you can all consider doing if you haven't done it already is a serious, serious, serious decluttering of your house (I'm not talking about giving away all the breakables just getting rid of the junk or I'll use it someday that you've been hanging on to for 10 years :) )

If you do nothing else organize your kitchen cabinets because you are going to end up with a whole other set of "stuff" for your children whether it's bottles or sippy cups, baby food or just more children friendly snacks or just a bunch of small spoons and plastic bowls, not to mention bibs and wash clothes or wet ones, unless you have some empty cabinet space already you are going to be rearranging anyway so it makes sense to do it now (or of course just do what I have and buy a three "basket" cart on wheels and make it baby central

:)

[kroppink]

Fun topic!! :) I've been doing all sorts of stuff...

I've done a lot of shopping. We're buying all the major things ourselves. I do have a huge registry though still. ;) On a side note... I've been very frustrated with people constantly telling me to stop buying things & save things for the registry. People just don't understand. First of all, I'm having fun!!! But also, it's not like I'm pregnant & showing....we're just waiting. So it's fun to have baby things in the house to make it seem real -- and to do the baby shopping research! Plus, I just want certain things - and they're not all available from Babies R Us, so I've shopped around to get exactly what I want. :)

I've also been doing reading...but definitely have more reading I want to do still! And we've been working on learning Russian! :)

I've also been doing some cleaning out & reorganizing the house, as someone suggested. :)

Oh!! And I'm choosing baby announcements now. So I can get the envelopes ahead of time & get those all addressed well in advance. Then the announcements will be printed up when we bring our baby home & know all the info. :)

[kroppink]

Oh yeah!! And I'm trying to get caught up on as much scrapbooking as possible before baby comes!! ;)

[kroppink]

I knew I forgot another thing...

yes, I've been journaling!! :) I bought "The Mommy Journal" right when we started the process.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0740727303/qid=1082664150/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-1239097-9465736?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

It has small spaces for each day & I've tried to write something I did related to baby for each day. :) (Actually, I take notes at my desk during the week...and once a week, actually write it in the journal. ;) )

[kroppink]

I have some more! :) I have a list of things written down that I want/need to do before going to Russia...

One thing we are doing today! Having a consultation with the pediatrician we hope to use. Holli, do you have one yet?? This woman has adopted from Eastern Europe herself!! :) Dr. Renee Johnson at Apex Pediatrics.

-take a first aid / CPR class
-update our will to cover our child (make sure it covers adopted children)
-making thank you cards ahead of time -- before I need them! (the nursery is Bambi, so I plan to make thank you cards with a Bambi rubber stamp :) )