View Full Version : Could we do an update on everyone???

06-29-2004, 02:31 PM
I have completely lost track (if I ever knew) where everyone is in the process? Who's in the thinking/research phase? Who's actually started the process? Who's got a referral or been matched with a birthmom? Who's waiting for travel? Who's completed the process? And who's just here offering the rest of us, some much needed support?

That sort of thing. I know most of us checked in when the forum first started or as we have joined but I thought it might be nice to have it all in one place for a little while at least

06-29-2004, 02:36 PM
Luke came home from S.Korea in Dec of 2003. He turned 1 year old last week and we are currently waiting on the clerk of courts to give us a finalization date for his adoption. We should know by the end of next month when that date will be and it should be before Oct 31 of this year.

For those who want the whole story.
We started the whole process in Dec of 2001 (first contact with our agency). Did our homestudy in March-April of 2002 and our homestudy went to Korea in May or June of 2002. We received our referral in August of 2003 (a pretty long wait but that's what happens with Korea depending on the state you live in) and Luke just beat the end of the year quota and came home in Dec.

06-29-2004, 03:01 PM
New to the forum and also new to the adoption process..we are hoping to adopt a child from guatemala and have sent for an information packet from an agency that we are hoping to work with..for now i'm researching baby stuff and making a list of what to register for

06-29-2004, 03:20 PM

We're in process with a Guatemalan adoption.. Feel free to PM or email me with any questions you might have!! Good luck!!


06-29-2004, 03:24 PM
Great idea! I love hearing everyone's stories.

After 10 years of TTC, miscarriage, etc. and lots of talk about our imaginary children, we finally made the decision to not attempt invasive fertility treatments and adopt in December 2003. We always had planned on adopting even if we had a biological child but had a lot of juggling of $$ to do and tough decisions to make.

We decided on Guatemala and signed with our agency and did our homestudy in January/early February 2004. Had our paperwork/dossier completed by mid February. Received a referral for a newborn girl in March 2004. Just visited our Lily in Guatemala this month (June 2004). We're hoping and hoping that she is home before September 2004.

We are totally in love with this amazing little girly!


06-29-2004, 05:02 PM
We started our adoption journey in Dec 2002 after a few years of infertility attempts and failures. We completed our homestudy in July 2003 and, after one failed match, we were matched with our son's birthmother in Dec 2003. He was born in February and we were lucky enough to be matched with a great birthmom who let us come and see him within hours of his birth. He came home with us at 2 days old and we are supposed to finalize mid-August. We have an open adoption with both birthparents.

~Connor's Mom~

06-29-2004, 08:53 PM
After our second miscarriage we decided to adopt two from Ukraine...after my third miscarriage we decided to go for three, assuming there is a big chance we will only get 2 and possibly only 1. In Ukraine you can not preselect and have to travel for your referal...so we are up in the air as to what we will be blessed with. But hoping for a SIBLING group of three.
Great thread...
It was Sept last year 2003 that we decided to adopt. Steve switched jobs to an award winning company recoginzed for adoption benefits and family quality, so it seemed it was meant to be. Though they give $5,000 back per child adopted and 4 weeks paid off starting the day health insurance starts my gut told me to put it off so that he was there for a year before taking such a travel.

So we started the "true" proces May 8th or so, while I have sat on the side lines of the adoption comminity reading everything I could get my hands on. We finished all of the paperwork in days shy of 4 weeks.

We now have to wait for our FBI finger print cards and INS with the I171...but those are out of my hands and just waiting for them.

We hope to travel in Jan...be home by Feb 5th or so and celebrat Christmas then...:)
We have hired a wonderful facilitator who gets the job done...

AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

06-30-2004, 12:16 AM
Neve, I hope it's not too personal to ask- if so, please forgive and ingore me. But I was wondering if you are planning to adopt boys or girls or a mix? And what age range you are looking at? I'm so excited about your journey to find the rest of your family!

06-30-2004, 12:18 AM
Jamie came home Feb. of this year and turns two in two days. Shortly there after, we have our 6th month social worker visit (and last - yeah! - not that I don't like our social worker).

For the whole story, we began our paperwork in January, 2003 and finished in August (no thanks to BCIS). It went to China. In October, our agency let us know they had a baby on there waiting child list they thought would be a good match for us, and so, we were matched with Jamie (kind of a funny aside, even though they brought him to our attention we had to "go to committee" to be apporved - it was the LONGEST day ever). China approved out match in Dec. and we went to China in Feb.

06-30-2004, 07:34 AM
I don't mind at all...
since children come off of a registry there and those are the ones you are shown, or even children in some "books" who have been off of the registry you are kind of at it's mercy as far as that goes. Now I have hired a facilitator who is one of two that I know about who really seems to get "slam dunk" matches, I know he has a great relationship with the NAC (the adoption center that gives out all referals, and I also know that can change at anytime I would assume since it is human nature and that is based on relationships).

But we are requesting to be shown sibling groups of age 6 and under...some of our paperwork says 7 and under. I would have no problem adding a 6 and 7 year old to our family EXCEPT that I don't want Tristan to be so much behind in age of these children where he feels like he is left out, and that age gap will do just that IN MY OPINION. My brother is 6 years older than I am and from 6th grade on I was really an only child as he traveled the world and went to college far off.
I also have no desire to have a baby baby baby, first of all with Ukraine rules (that are rumored to change) children must be 14 months at the least to be available to non Ukraines UNLESS they have some major health problems (MAJOR, not cleft palate or other correctable things). I feel like I will have another child bio and thus I am not sweating wanting a baby, and even if I couldn't that is not my desire like many who travel there.
It's funny I imagine what I will be refered every second of the day and in my dreams I will have twins one boy and one girl of age 2-3ish, and a sibling of theirs that is 5 or so (boy).
In dream land I'd like 2 boys and 1 girl, I have told them I am all for 3 boys as well...

But from what I have heard your heart melts when you know "the ones" and they can be very different than your dreams have been :)

There are regions in Ukraine that do not waive the mandatory 30 day wait after court, most people will not go to those regions due to that, so we are willing to go there if it opens the chance to meet our criteria more. This would involve us having to come home and returning 30 days after court which would be awful, but we will do that OF COURSE, it is sad that so many americans have jobs where that is not possible and they can't...

AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

06-30-2004, 10:03 AM

We sent our paperwork to China in October of 2003. We received our referral on June 7, 2004 and IT'S A BOY!!! We were suprised and thrilled to receive a referral for a baby boy, born June 23, 2003. (Most adoptions from China are girls. We did not make a request as to gender.)

We are waiting (VERY IMPATIENTLY) for travel dates, our agency says to tentatively plan on early August.

06-30-2004, 10:44 AM
We adopted a little baby girl from Guatemala in 2001 and started adoption proceedings again in September 2003 for a baby girl from China. We are now next to receive our referral and will probably be traveling in September.

Catherine-Are you a member of the 12 Moons? I believe you are the Catherine I just spoke to last night on the chat!

06-30-2004, 01:07 PM
No, not me--must be another Catherine. What is the 12 moons?

Speedy referral and travel wishes,

06-30-2004, 03:32 PM
The 12 Moons is a yahoo group for people on the APC list that sent their dossiers to China in December. Great bunch of people. Can discuss everything without feelings getting involved. One great resource.

06-30-2004, 03:44 PM
David and I are in the research/thinking stage. We are trying to get through the next few months and then will seriously decide if we can take the next step.


Josh 3/90
Mollie 4/92
Jeffrey 12/94
and Katherine 6/03

Diane B
06-30-2004, 06:33 PM
Hello everyone :)

After about 5 years of trying to get pregnant, including infertility treatments and a miscarriage, we decided to adopt. Easy decision since I'm adopted! :) It's hard to say when we really got started with the process, but we started the home study August 2003 and it's been non-stop paperwork since then...right up until now. We've just finished completing our dossier a few weeks ago and I just heard it's been translated and is in the hands of the people at the Colombian facility from which we'll be adopting! Now we're just waiting to get our referral!!!

You know...it's funny...I miss doing all the paperwork now! lol I guess it just made me feel like I was actively working towards our goal of getting our baby. Now I just have to sit on my hands...there's nothing for me to do...I have no control over it now...*whimper*. ;)

I do love reading all the progress everone is making. It helps me feel like it could happen at any moment for any of us. :)

Diane B

06-30-2004, 08:08 PM
Ah, yes. I'm a member of the Smashing Pumpkins--the Oct. DTC board. I just hadn't heard the name for the Dec. group. The dtc boards are just great, I agree!

06-30-2004, 08:51 PM
OHHH goosebumps...keep us posted :)...
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

06-30-2004, 10:16 PM
I remember feeling that way. My solution was to buy things!

Do you know how long to referral? I don't know much about Colombian adoptions.

Here's hoping for speed!

Diane B
07-01-2004, 09:23 AM
Sadly, I have no clue on how long of a wait we have. Could be one month, could be 6...have no idea. :(

And I think I've bought everything I can at this point. lol Our baby could be anywhere from 3 months old to 12 months old so it's hard to say what I'll really need until the referral comes in. And look out when it does come! I'm gonna be a shopping fanatic! ;)

07-01-2004, 10:54 AM
We're waiting for travel - our little boy is coming from South Korea and we just can't wait to meet him!!! We received Theo's referral 2/17/2004, so we're hoping for "the call" any day now.

Speedy referrals, travels, and processing to everyone!

07-01-2004, 02:21 PM
Well if you don't have one you can start and exercise program. And you can start lifting weights because "Girlfriend (using my best southern accent which I don't really have) you know once they hand you your child, you are not ever going to want to put him down."

Seriously unlike a pregnancy where you get somewhat use to carrying extra weigh during your pregnancy and then gradually get use to carrying a heavier and heavier newborn/infant in your arms, with adoption you are handed a 10, 15, 20 pound baby/child and the more you can do to get use to the extra weight the better. Even if you plan on using a carrier of some type as silly as it might seem carrying around a 10 pound bag of potatoes or two bags of flour for 15 minutes a day can mean less problems when your child finally arrives.

You can also try and make some freezer friendly meals even if your wait for a referral takes a while you can start using them up and cook more but having something quick to take out of the freezer when you first get back can make the world of difference.

And then you can feel like you are still actively doing something

07-01-2004, 08:36 PM
A good friend of mine is also adopting from Korea. I believe her daughter was born around the same date - maybe 01/14?. I know she got the referral before 03/03 because she e-mailed me some pics then that she'd already had for a bit. You guys must be on an almost identical time schedule.

07-01-2004, 10:53 PM
We're in the thinking/research phase. Plan to be here for a while. :)

Kimberly H
07-02-2004, 12:48 AM
We've been home with Mia for 6 months now - WOW!

We began paperwork on October 1st, 2002 and were DTC March 31, 2003. We received our referral on November 18, 2003 and traveled to China January, 2004.

We're done... unless we win the lottery!

07-02-2004, 02:54 AM
DS was placed with us in March of '03 (through domestic, open adoption) and we finalized in Dec. of '03.

The process wasn't too long for us (~9 months from when we started to placement), and he was placed with about 6 days notice.

I'm so excited for those waiting for referrals and placement.

I remember how long the wait was, but when they put that baby in your arms, it all seems to melt away, and is SO worth it!:)

Mom to Jeremiah 2/4/03

07-03-2004, 11:46 PM
Hi, We just brought home our little guy in April of this year. He is 21 months old and the joy of our lives! He is from Guatemala and doing so well. He has adjusted better than I ever dreamed possible with him coming home at 19 months. We are having a blast!! If anyone has questions about Guatemala adoptions and the process, please feel free to PM me!!

adopted Parker born 9/18/02
home forever 4/21/04

07-04-2004, 12:00 PM
He is so adorbale! Jamie came home at 19 months too. Isn't it amazing how well they adapt?

07-04-2004, 02:52 PM
How exciting and I'm sure overwhelming. Make sure you keep us updated on how the journey goes :)

07-06-2004, 03:37 PM
Hi Everyone! I haven't posted over here in ages, but do read what's going on. It's so exciting to hear about other people's adoption stories.
DH and I are currently trying for a domestic adoption. We are not sure how long it will take.
DS was born in Feb. 2002, and his adoption was finalized in August the same year. We got "the call" a few hours before he was born, and were able to see him in the hospital when he was about 4 hours old. I still remember how it felt to hold him the first time - it made all the waiting worth-while!
Our 1st adoption took about 9 months from when our homestudy was approved. This time we have been waiting about 6-7 months. Unfortunately, I'm worried that our ages may affect our chances of being chosen. I am 40, and DH is 50. To many potential birthmoms, we are probably their parents ages - ancient! Also, DH doesn't want to wait too much longer due to his age. So, we'll see. I really would like for DS to have a sibling closer to his age. My stepsons are 18 & 20 and both in college. DS loves his brothers, but is really like an only child because of the age difference.
Great topic! I've been meaning to post more over here and this gave me a good excuse to start!

07-06-2004, 09:03 PM
We adopted our DD last October (domestic, she was 3 weeks old, we had 3 days' notice!). She is now 9 mos and we are contemplating #2. Not sure if we'll do domestic or international this time...I'm leaning leaning toward the latter, perhaps Eastern Europe or Middle East/Asia (Kazahkstan or Azerbaijan). We'll see.

Gwen and DD Bella

07-09-2004, 11:42 PM
Oh my goodness - he is to-die-for cute! I can't believe that smile....


07-16-2004, 12:25 AM
We are in the thinking and research phase, and sort of in a waiting/hold mode. We are pretty set on Ukraine, but are also slightly considering Russia or Belarus. We would like a girl, ideally about two years older than Lindsey.

We are waiting to get settled in the new house and let my health settle down a bit, and then we will probably make our final decision on where and start our paperwork.

08-11-2004, 03:26 AM
We are getting closer to starting the paperchase! We have narrowed it down to adopting from Taiwan or China. We are still trying to make a final decision about which agency to use. My husband and I have both been doing a lot of reading and we are starting to get excited about taking the next step. We have also joined a couple of yahoo groups and we have been meeting other military families who are adopting while living overseas.

If anyone here, has adopted from Taiwan we would love to hear your story!

mom to Noah 2/2003

sams mommy
09-02-2004, 12:55 AM
hi- i am new to this board- i have been in the stroller and car seats boards for awile.
we are in the process of waiting for a referral for our baby daughter from korea. we live in new york.we are going to the bcis next week for the fingerprints and then hopefully the i171h will not be far behind.
our son sam, came from korea in february 2002 at 9 months old.

donna jean
mommy to sam born on 5/18/01

09-02-2004, 01:25 PM
Hi Donna I hope you get your I171H approval in record time. Any idea how long they are estimating for your referral?

sams mommy
09-02-2004, 05:58 PM

our social worker said most likely january or february- when i ask the agency director he says spring like april and be happy if it happens earlier...

donna jean

09-04-2004, 11:24 AM
DH and I are going to a seminar next Saturday on international adoption. We are looking at China, Russia and Guatemala, although Holli's experience has just devastated me and now I can't decide if that really is the route we want to take.


Josh 3/90
Mollie 4/92
Jeffrey 12/94
and Katherine 6/03


09-07-2004, 05:46 PM
Holli's experience while horrible is actually pretty rare. Of course that doesn't make it any easier to think about. As with anything there are always going to be people who will want to share the horror experiences they know about (I'm not talking about Holli but rather those who really know nothing about adoption and want to tell you all about a friend of a friend who..fill in the blank). Now doubt that there is any international adoption that is completely problem free but then again I'm not sure there is such thing as a perfect pregnancy either.

I guess what I'm saying adoption like pregnancy involves taking a leap of faith. No one can tell you that it's going to turn out just like you hope it will and unfortunately more often then we would like to think, things happen (in either pregnancy or adoption) but far more often everything works out great despite bumps in the road. If we don't even let ourselves take the leap of faith then that's the only way we can be sure nothing bad will happen but then if we don't take the leap, nothing at all is going to happen.

09-07-2004, 06:15 PM
Neve and Tristan born Feb 25, 2003
* EDD 3/18/05 as of 8/24 kicking and moving arms via sono, very active.
* Adopting siblings in Ukraine, I171A from INS has arrived, dossier to Ukraine next week!!!!!!

09-08-2004, 03:08 PM
I've wanted to adopt since I was a child, and DH agrees with me (we talked it over before we were married, as well as since). We'll probably have one more biological child in a few years, and then adopt our third (from China, if I don't learn something to change our minds between now and then).

I'm so impatient, I don't want to wait! But I have to for a while yet, so I'll keep following the stories of everyone in these forums. I'm cheering you all on!

09-10-2004, 01:36 AM
We are currently matched (domestic adoption) for the third time (the other two fell through in the past couple of months), but unfortunately, we are in a kind of wait-and-see holding pattern. There have definitely been a lot of ups and downs. I was prepared for that as best I could be and I expected it to take a while, but this is hard.

Right now the birthmother is very solid in her decision, but the birthfather is not. Our agency keeps telling us that we'd be premature to pull out and they are hoping for the best (there are more circumstances and they're hoping everything works out in the end) but it is hard to wait.

The baby is due September 19th (DH's birthday)! And in this instance, we would not travel until/unless a surrender is signed (have to wait at least four days) but in a couple of weeks we will know for sure one way or the other. I could be a mom in just a couple of weeks! Or not...

I must say though, if this does fall through, I'm not quite sure how we'll proceed, or if we'll want to...


09-10-2004, 10:56 AM
I PM'd you.
~Connor's Mom~
http://lilypie.com/baby1/050204/1/0/1/-6/.png (http://lilypie.com)

09-10-2004, 08:58 PM
Well just wanted to update our information. We got Luke's adoption decree in the mail today. Looks like the clerk of courts filed it at 9:15 on the 8th :) Now we just wait forever for the birth certificate and of course there is the COC or passport to get so that we have proof of citizenship AND a social security number BUT all that is just paperwork (I say that now but I'm sure I'll be annoyed later) but Luke is legally our son.

09-10-2004, 09:18 PM
Yea! Congrats! Just got our finalization papers a few weeks ago, so I can appreciate the excitement/relief/joy. They told us the birth certificate will take up to 2 months and then we have to change the SS # to his new last name. "Shall be due all the rights and privileges as a child born to them....." - gives me chills still. Congrats again, Momma!
~Connor's Mom~
http://lilypie.com/baby1/050204/1/0/1/-6/.png (http://lilypie.com)

09-11-2004, 11:44 AM
Congratulations! You must feel wonderful knowing he is officially and legally your SON!!! Thats great news!

09-12-2004, 12:29 PM
Good luck! I'll be thinking of you.

09-12-2004, 12:33 PM
Congratulations! JMO, the social security card was EASY (although they asked to see an insurance card and/or immunization record which wasn't listed on the website and seemed a little strange, but whatever) and took 2 weeks. The COC came autimatically for us, so that was really easy and took about 1 month. The passport was horrible and, despite having paid extra to get it early, took about 8 weeks. However, the reason was that the woman didn't 'like" the way the Chinese adoption decree was written (oh well, I'll just call them and ask them to change it) so you might have more luck with a US decree. She also tore up my decree (o.k., not literally, but made tears in it) which you can imagine infuriated me. Honestly, it was the hardest part of the whole process.

Congrats again, and good luck!

09-14-2004, 05:13 PM
So, it doesn't look good...but we're still going to wait it out. The waiting period for a definite answer gets shorter and shorter...

Has anyone ever pulled out of an agency?

I know our situation is a bit odd. We actually went with adoption before ever trying to have a baby biologically (and I don't mean to insult any one else's choices or problems with my use of terms or decisions, so please forgive me if I do). I do have diabetes, although it is currently under control and has been for the most part. And it wasn't a priority for us to have a biological child as much as a child. But I'm really beginning to think that this is not the way we are supposed to complete our family.

And honestly, our agency hasn't been all that helpful. I know much of this is out of their control and things can and do fall through no matter what. They are well intentioned, and that's what makes it more difficult, because they really haven't dealt well with us from the beginning. But because we've now been with them since April 03, partly we don't want to have to start all over again.

And a big part of me is wondering if we should try to get pregnant. I know it's entirely possible that that won't happen. But it just seems like this isn't the way it's supposed to happen anymore. Has anyone left their adoption agency and pursued another route? Are there other routes to pursue? We seriously considered international adoption as well, but we'd really be starting at the beginning then. And that would be months/years, wouldn' t it?

I know it's entirely possible that if we find we can't get pregnant, we'll be right back here where we started.

It's also very likely that we would be matched again within a few months. Well before a pregnancy. I don't know. Sorry for the long post. I don't want to share this with my family again because nothing is definite and they've already weathered some ups and downs, but I needed to get it off my chest.

Thanks for listening.


09-14-2004, 08:25 PM
Debbie - I certainly hope everything works out and this becomes a moot point. I can't really speak to starting over with a new agency domestically. However, I can tell you that with a current home study you wouldn't be starting exactly at ground zero with an international adoption. But, you would have a ways to go, time frames depending on how fast the CIS is where you live and what country you choose. But I would imagine 6 months would be a minimum and that would be if all the adoption gods were smiling (again - not an expert, just a rough guess).

I hope verything goes through for you.

Take care,

09-14-2004, 10:29 PM
Hi Holly,

Thanks for your reply.

That's true about the home study. And even if we went with another domestic agency, we'd still have that, so it wouldn't be totally the beginning, but it sure feels like a big step backwards.

You're right, this could still happen. But DH talked to the agency today and they said if they had to call it today, it didn't look like it was going through. I thought I had removed myself from the situation enough that I wouldn't be too upset. But that didn't turn out to be the case. And it could totally be moot point and I'm getting myself all worked up over nothing...but this one never seemed on totally solid ground and I think some part of me thought it might not happen.

I think I'm more frustrated with the whole thing rather than this particular situation. But I'm sure it will work itself out in the end. I know at one of our first meetings they told us that adoption is an obstacle course. You don't know how long it will take, or how many twists and turns will occur, but if you hang in there, eventually you'll reach the end. So I'm hanging!