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View Full Version : Taking DS to China- goood idea or not?



MelissaTC
08-09-2005, 03:09 PM
DH and I have been back and forth as to whether or not we should take Matthew with us to China. I was leaning towards yes and he, no. Then Matthew and I went away for a couple of weeks and we both changed our minds. LOL. Not sure what to do but we need to decide sooner rather than later because of the Hep B vaccinations he is going to need.

I worry about schleping a 4 year old on a very long plane ride across the world. I worry that he is going to be cranky after being on the plane after one hour. I am worried that he is going to be picky about food in China. What if he is a pita the entire time? I would also have to bring 2 kids home on a very long plane flight! Yikes!

On the other hand, what a wonderful experience for him! And how cool would it be for us to have Matthew there as we meet his sister for the first time. I don't want him to miss that.

The Ped told us that it is up to us. He said it would be great for him to go and it would be fine if he stayed with my Mom. I am just torn. I worry too much I guess.

Any words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated!

hjdong
08-09-2005, 04:47 PM
I guess I have to agree with your ped. It's almost a philosophical decision. If it were me, I would take DS, because to me, it's building of a family, and DS would have to be there. In other people's view, this time is the only time they will have alone with their 2nd (or 3rd, 4th, etc.) child and it's precious time. I think it's an equally valid viewpoint. I think you should decide what point of view you have and work form there.

I wouldn't take him because you're scared about him being a pita. He probably will be. And sometimes, he'll probably be wonderful. The food issue will most likely be a non-issue if you choose to make it a non-issue. The hotels you will stay at will most likely offer both chinese and western choices, the airlines (except for within China), offer both Chinese and Western choices. Even if your daughter's SWI is out in the boonies, you will probably be staying in the closest "city" where you will have access to everything you could find here (although some of the things that are more western will be really expensive there, like raisins in Guangzhou cost us a fortune and were at the buffet the next day, of course).

We took night flights. And another thing to take into consideration, is that, depending on the age of your daughter, is that she really may take to your son. DS (19 months at the time)would see a group of kids and was dying to play with them - that's what he was used to. A strange 4 year old will probably be less stressful than a couple of strange adults (if she's not a really young infant). And how neat for him to have his sister really take to him quickly. I mean, I don't want to sugar coat it; I'm sure it wouldn't be easy, but for me, my son would just have to be there. Would it be possible for you to take your Mom, or another family member?

Anyway, like I said originally, I would first decide your philosophy, and then decide how you're going to make it work. There's no "right" answer. Just right for your family.

Good luck,

MelissaTC
08-09-2005, 05:49 PM
I guess we both feel that it is the beginnings of our new family and we want all of us to be together. I want him to meet her the same minute we do. I have a feeling that he will be going with us. Thanks for your advice. :)

AdoptChina
08-21-2005, 09:48 PM
When I went to get my daughter I traveled with another woman who was going to get her second daughter. She brought along her first daughter who actually turned 3 the day we traveled (she also brought along her mom and dad). Having her 3 yr old definitely was more work than it would have been without her, but we all had so much fun with the 3 kids together. If you and DH can afford to take your son and are commited to the extra work it will take (which really isnt that hard IMO) Id say take him :) But if you think DS wouldn't adjust well or would be better off staying home then Id do that

alkagift
08-24-2005, 07:46 PM
Melissa,
My cousin adopted from China and I've only talked to her about it and seen her intense three hour video about it...so bear that in mind. But, I guess it would depend on Matthew, and how mature an individual he is, and whether your husband is going as well. If I were by myself, I would say no, I won't bring my son. But if DH was going along, I would.

Allison
Mommy to Matthew, who is TWO!

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MelissaTC
08-24-2005, 08:19 PM
DH is definitely going. We are still kicking the idea around. We will most likely bring him. :)